Accendo Cariosus Carcer

Blood so much blood, I feel like I'm swimming in it I feel like it's swamping my soul consuming it and corrupting it. I don't remember who I used to be I feel like I'm drifting and this sea is just carrying me and I'm powerless against it. I know if I don't kill I'll be killed I know I have to make the show look good or I'll be punished. I don't remember what life used to be like I know I had a life it was a good one I was with Xena and we were both happy she had told me that she loved me and we had kissed and then it was all torn away. I was brought here to Rome and sold to a Ludus for a very high price because I'm a werewolf and then I was trained as a Gladiatrix. I'm not seen as a person I'm a prize a possession and all I do is get yanked around at private parties for Roman nobles in werewolf form while guests poke and prod me. It's disgusting and vile I hate how they touch and try to groom me and ask if I'm any good in bed when I'm in human form. Sometimes they even send me house slaves because they want to watch me screw them in werewolf form. I do as asked but I never hurt the slaves male or female I pleasure them tenderly I make it nice for them I show them that I'm no monster but every time I pleasure them I'm always pleasuring Xena in my mind. It's the only way I can cope with what I'm doing. Sometimes they even throw me body parts in to my cell because they think I'll eat it I always refuse but even then my denial gives them pleasure. I used to have long golden hair but that's all been cut short it's a symbol of shame in Rome for women to have short hair it shows that she is unclean and has done wrong and that breaks my heart.

Because when I go put in to that arena in human form to fight day to day, I know that everyone knows my shame, regardless of whether they cheer or not at my victories. The rest off the time I fight night battles in werewolf form as I am right now fighting is my life. I've come to know pain it's just the blur that is my existence just like life and death it's all the same. I have to kill though and in the most entertaining way possible that's what keeps me alive from day to day. Gabrielle roared feeling the intense pain as the Retiarius Gladiator thrust his trident spear in to her side. She brought down her fist smashing it in to his stomach watching as he was thrown seven feet in to the air only to come down hard on the sandy floor of the arena, blood spilled out from a head wound and a now gaping stomach wound which he tried to cover with one hand as blood pissed out all over the sand as he lay there shaking the net falling from his other hand. She lowered her ears ignoring the cheers of the crowd feeling weight of the heavy helmet that had been put on her head. It had huge decorative teeth coming down, they were cast in bronze and heavy as Tartarus and were there to give her a disadvantage as they forced her head down further than normal and she had to struggle to keep her head up and level on both her hind legs and on all fours and they got in the way and made it hard for her to bite down as they could get stuck if they pieced another gladiator in the arena. It meant that she was forced to use her clawed hands and feet more, sometimes they even put heavy chains on this helmet which were bolted down to the arena so that she could not move fully around the arena.

She eyed the Gladiator he would die soon but as always it was about the show. She walked over to him, not thinking as she kicked his body with all her might causing him to be thrown full force at the huge stone wall. She knew he was dead before he even hit the ground but that was the point it was all about bloody sceptical. She turned grabbing the heavy Murmillo's sword hand smashing her other clawed fist directly in to his face watching as blood spattered against her chest as his helmet caved in with the force of the blow. His whole body fell back as hit the ground in a dead heap. It was slightly to quick but she would make up for it, she thrust her hand down ripping his body open as she pulled out part of his guts throwing them out of his body watching as they hit the bloody sands. He was already dead he wouldn't have felt a thing but the crowd didn't know that, for them it made a better death. She stepped back eyeing the last Gladiator the Eques who was on a horse and had been holding back his horse snorted as he went in to full gallop holding up his heavy spear. She wasn't afraid of the horse she'd long since lost her fear of being charged by horses. She went down on all fours going in to a run as got ready to leap pacing herself waiting for the right moment as her huge feet left the floor. She leapt up colliding with him throwing him completely out of the saddle the intense pain came as his spear collided with her shoulder embedding itself deeply.

She grabbed his helmet with her clawed hand as his back met the ground, the next moments were a bloody haze as she pulled up his whole body by his helmet smashing in to the ground again and again seeing the blood spray through the holes as his head was caved in with the force. She wasn't even sure how many times she smashed his head down only that there was blood everywhere and she only stopped because the crowd had gone silent. Not because of her show, her show had been perfect as always, but because they were rooting for the gladiators not her people who came to see these shows didn't like werewolves they wanted her to die and they'd put bets on the Gladiators not her. She was the show piece the oddity and wasn't meant to survive, but she always did much to their contempt. She eased up her hand yanking the spear free of her shoulder in a violent motion not really caring for the pain as she lowered herself on to all floors seeing the red blood as it dripped off her clawed fingers she felt truly empty inside after battles like this. She made no effort to stop the soldiers as they came out putting heavy chains on her collar pulling her out of the arena which was filled with fire lit torches. She didn't do anything as she was led to her cell and the chains were freed as the heavy door was shut and locked. Inside was a pale of water for her to wash with and a heavy piece of raw meat on a dish. She caught sight of the male slave named Philo as he moved closer to her he wasn't there for her screw. He was from her Ludus and his job was to handle her and make sure she eat and drank after fights and put on her helmet and any other armour that was required away. She felt him un-strap her heavy bloody helmet taking it off putting it one side. She slowly sat down on the stone floor shaking her mane to get rid of the stiffness. Philo put the bloody helmet on its stand eyeing Gabrielle whose eyes were down cast to the floor the depression as clear as day. "You killed them all too quickly." Gabrielle didn't bother to look up she didn't have the energy and she was too tired to care about her performance. Philo knew she couldn't speak but he had learnt that she did like company and to be spoken to. "You need to slow down you want the crowd to love you."

Gabrielle eyed her clawed fingers watching as the blood dripped from the claws hitting the cold stone floor. What was to be gained from winning them over in this form? They were just a vile mob who enjoyed watching her suffer every day. Philo picked up the filled bucket close by pulling out the wet cloth. He slowly used it to clean the blood from her huge clawed hands which didn't move, to a lot of people she was a monster but he knew the better in the arena she was beast but in private she was gentle and restrained. Even in werewolf form he'd seen her make love to the slave's she was forced to with the up most tenderness, she was slow loving and caring in both forms. Sadly though over these past few weeks she had begun to decline in to depression and it was getting harder to speak to her in both forms as she was so distant. "Win the crowd and you win your freedom." Gabrielle snorted in disgust, for any other Gladiator that would be so but not for her, she would never be free because Julius Caesar knew who she was and he hated Xena and he had said that he would work her until she ether died of old age or died in the arena, so there would be no end to her suffering. She lowered her head as a dark thought entered her mind her only way out of this nightmare was through death and she knew it.

Silvermoonlight

Gift piece for Soltarius X based on her story The Ripple in the Water

I'll let everyone try and work out the title of this, just look up Roman words Latin and you should be able to piece it together.