Shadow and Rose

by Lady Norbert

A/N: I wish we could spend more time in Soldier's Peak. I love it so. Expect that to become very obvious in the chapters ahead.

Chapter Ten: Warden Commander Armor

An artifact of an earlier age, this suit of armor was worn by one the heroes of the last Blight. Its craftsmanship is superb. When equipped in a set with the Warden-Commander plate boots and gloves, the character gains a bonus to health, and spells or talents cost less to activate.

I write this from our camp near Soldier's Peak. It's taken a while for us to reach the point where we can actually rest, but it's fairly safe now.

Our companions weren't exactly crazy about the plan to separate, but they admitted that our reasons were pretty sensible for the most part. Sten mostly objected on the grounds that, once again, we were pursuing a course of action that he didn't think was directly relevant to the struggle against the Blight. But he did agree that having a safe place to spend the winter was sound logic, and since Soldier's Peak genuinely does belong to the Grey Wardens, I think he understood our need to reclaim it.

Levi was thrilled when we told him we'd go to the Peak with him. It was a good thing he was with us, too, or we never could have navigated the maze of tunnels leading through the mountain. We didn't start any too soon, either, since by the time we emerged from inside the tunnels, the first snow was starting to fall. Of course, the mountains do get the snow before the plains, but still. The tunnels open out into the trees along the road leading to the main entrance gate, and we could see in the near distance where the road is still blocked from the days of Arland's siege. My guess is that they were a secret escape route, once upon a time; I know that a few of the Wardens did abandon the keep rather than ride out the siege under Sophia Dryden's command, and the tunnels must have been their way out. Levi says they're abandoned mining tunnels.

Soldier's Peak is... well, Levi was right when he said it's like a palace. It's a breathtaking walled fortress, with great high towers and massive rooms. It was built during the Glory Age under the leadership of a Warden-Commander called Asturian, who wanted the Wardens to have a home of their own. We'll have our work cut out for us to make it a worthy home to the order once again, but there are at least some things in there that have managed to survive the passage of time and may be of value to us. The stone construction is old and impenetrable, and beautiful in its own way. An engineering marvel, to be completely honest.

Oh, and the whole place was populated with the undead. Almost forgot to mention that part.

I can be funny about it now, but it was pretty terrifying at the outset. We were just inside the gate, admiring our surroundings. You can almost feel the history of the place. I felt like I'd come home, and I think Elissa did too. (Morrigan had something cheerful to say about how once the Wardens flourished in this place, and now they're so desperate they even accept people like me, but I ignored her for the most part.) Only then we really felt the history of the place, because we were all swept into a mass hallucination of the past - warriors of King Arland, falling back and waiting to starve out the Wardens who were sealed up inside the keep. It was unsettling, and we were all a little woozy when it ended.

"What - what was that?" Levi asked, sounding frightened. "I'm not mad, am I? You saw it too?"

"It was like a waking dream," said Elissa.

"Yes," said Sten with a frown. "It was some sort of flash from the past. We tread upon ground steeped in the blood of many warriors."

"This place must truly be haunted." Levi shuddered.

"Be ready, friends," Elissa advised. "Levi, if anything dangerous happens, try to keep at a distance. Morrigan, can you shield our guide?"

"I await your command."

"Good. Weapons at the ready, everyone, just in case."

It turned out to be a good idea, because before we'd advanced many more steps, those undead I mentioned started swarming the place. The bodies had lain there for two hundred years, and largely deteriorated, but something about our arrival awoke them. Maybe it was the taint in my and Elissa's blood, or maybe we were just the first people to enter the compound since that time. But the remains of these fallen soldiers - Grey Wardens and King Arland's men alike - leaped up from where they'd fallen in life and started to attack.

Compared to the abominations in the Circle Tower, they weren't too difficult to handle, but it was still an unpleasant experience. The really strange thing about them, though, was that Elissa's request - that Morrigan use her magic to shield Levi from any harm - was totally unnecessary. The undead soldiers only attacked the four of us. It was like they didn't even know he was there. I can't explain it, since I don't understand it, but we were glad enough to have one less concern.

Once the inner bailey was cleared, we were able to enter the keep and see the inside. It's huge. It's going to take us some time to explore it all and know it well. Of course, first we had to deal with being attacked by more skeletons, and also with more of those 'waking dreams,' as Elissa called them. In what must have been the great hall of the keep, we had another one. Sophia Dryden, Levi's ancestress who went from noblewoman to Commander of the Grey, was addressing the Grey Wardens who still remained. She urged them to remain strong and defiant in the face of King Arland's efforts to starve them out, to prove that good men had fought and died. I enjoyed her speech, actually, about how darkspawn flee when they hear our horns and Archdemons die when they taste our blades, or something like that.

After the vision faded, I glanced at Elissa. "She reminds me a lot of you."

"Of me? How do you mean?"

"Oh, am I wrong? Courageous, charismatic, a born leader as stubborn as the day is long... yes, I can't imagine where I see a resemblance."

"Flirt later," said Morrigan flatly. "Keep moving."

It was quite a bit like the Circle Tower in the sense that we remained fairly methodical about the whole thing, clearing first one room and then the next. But we had less of a sense of urgency than at the tower, since lives were not hanging in the balance, and we could take a little time and examine our surroundings. This is the rightful home of the Grey Wardens, after all. We found an armory, and a library, and a number of barracks rooms; there are also several common areas that must have been very comfortable once upon a time. Most of the wall hangings are rotted away, but a few paintings have managed to survive enough that their subjects can be recognized.

Another waking dream alerted us to the existence of a mage called Avernus, and he - with Sophia Dryden's obvious consent - broke the Veil and summoned demons to aid the Grey Wardens. That went about as well as might be expected. I felt sorry for poor Levi; that particular vision proved that his great-great-grandmother really was guilty, and I think he took it hard.

Actually running into said great-great-grandmother in another room, however, hit him a bit harder.

What seems to have happened is that one of the demons that Avernus summoned (or maybe one that stumbled out of the Fade on its own) took possession of Sophia's dead body. It's been walking around in her skin for who knows how long. It tried to entreat with Elissa - "This one would speak with you, Grey Warden." It wanted to be set free, to explore the world, and offered in exchange to seal the tear in the Veil that still exists within the keep. Elissa, being Elissa, wasn't having any of it, so naturally the thing attacked, along with a handful of 'friends.' I hated that Levi had to watch us kill off the animated corpse of his relation, but I think he kept his face to the wall for the most part so he missed a lot of the action. The body had been so overdue for its final destiny that once the demon was driven out and killed, it simply disintegrated.

I might have thought that our surprises were over at that point, but I've started to realize that they will probably never be over. Across the battlements, inside one of the towers, we found the mage Avernus. No, not his body; not even his animated corpse. He has somehow managed to use magic to extend his lifetime - he's still alive. Even now.

He was actually very open about his activities. Along with demon-summoning, we found some writings that proved he'd used live "volunteers" (the remains of some of whom were still in cages around the tower) to perform experiments in blood magic. He was trying to find a way to reverse the taint, or make a Grey Warden strong enough to resist the Calling, or something. I didn't entirely understand it. He also informed us that he was the reason Levi had managed to find his way to Soldier's Peak - that he had sensed him, when Levi was a boy, exploring the tunnels, and had sent him dreams that told him where to go. Levi seemed rattled by this news. I don't blame him.

Avernus had a more reasonable proposal for Elissa than Sophia's demon did, though; he suggested that we join forces, and he would seal the tear in the Veil if we would fight off whatever came out of it while he did. After that, he said, he would accept whatever sentence she chose to impose on him. She agreed, so we headed for the room where the tear was.

I guess you could say that our experiences at the tower gave Elissa and myself a bit of an advantage in the fight, but it was still rough. Abominations are difficult enough to subdue, but there were actual demons that came through as well. Anyway, we fought them off, and the tear in the Veil was sealed. The dead on the grounds would remain dead. Avernus was as good as his word, too; he submitted to Elissa's mercy. She let him live, of course. He is still a Grey Warden, technically speaking, and he acknowledged her as the new Warden-Commander, so he accepted her decision that he would spend what remains of his life in his sanctum, researching ethical ways to help the order. I don't know what she thinks he'll come up with in whatever time he has left, but at least it gives him something to do, I suppose.

Levi's pretty upset that he wasn't able to clear his great-great-grandmother's name, but Elissa did manage to cheer him some by pointing out that he, himself, is a good man, and that the Dryden name will be whatever he makes it in the future. He's planning to summon some of his relatives to come and help him clean up Soldier's Peak, so that when we return with the rest of our party, it'll be decent enough to inhabit for the winter months. He promised that they won't disturb Avernus, so long as he doesn't disturb them. He also said that by the time we come back, they'll have cleared that blockage from the main road, so we don't have to worry about trying to navigate the tunnels without him.

Sometimes I swear I can see the wheels turning in Elissa's mind. She's got something going on upstairs; all through breakfast she's been scribbling notes to herself. She doesn't keep a journal like this one - or does she? I don't think she does. Anyway, I don't know what she's writing, but she looks very thinky, if that's a word, while she's doing it.

We bade farewell to Levi after breakfast and started to make our way south to Redcliffe. At least it's warmer down here. If we press ourselves a bit, we should be there by late afternoon tomorrow.

We've just stopped for a breather, partly on account of a strange encounter we've just had. We ran into a wandering merchant whose donkey ran off on him, and he made us an odd offer. He'd bought a control rod for a stone golem from another merchant, but the golem itself is in a village southeast of Lake Calenhad and frankly, he doesn't want to be bothered with carrying the rod any longer. He's afraid he'll get robbed. So he offered to give it to us for nothing if we'd only take it off his hands. Maker only knows what we'll do with it, but we accepted anyway.

Apart from meeting the suspiciously generous merchant, and an incident in which we had to 'discourage' a group of bandits from preying on some refugees, it's been an uneventful trip. I keep pulling out my rose and looking at it. I don't want to throw it away, but it's really not going to last much longer. Maybe once Wynne's with us again, I could ask her if she knows a spell or something that could restore it.

Our arrival in Redcliffe village was hailed like the return of conquering heroes, which was a little awkward. The blacksmith did come out to personally thank Elissa for his daughter's safe return, though, that was nice.

Wynne and Leliana met us in the courtyard when we crossed the bridge to the castle. "Your timing is good," said Wynne. "Irving and the other mages arrived earlier today; they were hoping you'd return by the time everything was ready."

"Are we needed for the ritual?" Elissa looked puzzled.

"No, not at all. I will actually be the one to enter the Fade and defeat the demon," said Wynne. "Irving would do it himself, but he's still very weak from his dealings with Uldred, so I volunteered to take his place. But it seemed fitting that you be here to share in Connor's restoration."

We followed them to the main hall, where everyone had assembled. I'm not going to try to write down what happened in the ritual, because I'll be blunt, I don't really know what they were doing. I know that lyrium was involved, and that Wynne basically went into a trance in order to allow her to enter the Fade, and that while she was there she battled and killed the demon that was possessing Connor. Luckily, killing the demon didn't also kill Arl Eamon - he's still alive, though he won't wake.

Connor seems healthy, for the most part, if rather confused by everything that's happened. Lady Isolde is beside herself with joy and gratitude. I'm glad this part of the struggle is over, but I'm worried for Eamon; we all are. Elissa asked some questions about the quest for the Urn of Andraste, but neither Isolde nor Teagan could tell her much. The knights of Redcliffe have had little success, and if that group that attacked us outside the Spoiled Princess is any indication, I think we all have a pretty good idea why.

"Recall your knights as best you can," Elissa told Isolde. She looked a bit grim, and suddenly sort of tired. "We will undertake the mission to find the Urn ourselves."

"We will?" Morrigan asked.

"I do not understand," said Sten. He sounded just a little annoyed. "We are supposed to be stopping the Blight; yet you keep diverting us with additional tasks."

"Arl Eamon's recovery is crucial to our defeat of Loghain," Elissa explained, "and Loghain's defeat is crucial to our victory over the Blight."

"Why?"

She paused, collecting her thoughts on the subject. "So long as Loghain remains in control of the throne - as regent or whatever he's declared himself - we will have no human assistance against the darkspawn," she said. "The nobles of Ferelden are either fighting against his tyranny, so they have no men to spare, or they share with him in his paranoia that Orlais presents a greater threat than the Archdemon, so they won't listen to us. We need to cure Arl Eamon so that he can use his influence to bring them over to our side."

"But you're the daughter of the Teyrn of Highever," said Leliana. "Won't they listen to you?"

"Would that it were so. But my family's lands have been confiscated by the turncoat Howe. Whatever allegiance anyone would have paid to us is lost. I'm the only Cousland definitely still alive, and I'm a Grey Warden. There's a bounty on my head. I don't know who might betray me for the reward." She glanced at me. "I'll put my faith in Arl Eamon because Alistair trusts him, so we need to save him. And from what Bann Teagan and Lady Isolde have said, the ashes of Andraste are probably our only hope."

I knew that saying all of this was hurting her more than any of the others probably recognized. "You haven't led us astray yet," I said. "I agree with your decision."

"Oh, there is a surprise," Morrigan muttered. "Well, so be it. I am conscripted to your aid, and Alistair does make a point - you have led us effectively thus far. If it pleases you to chase legends, I will follow."

With the rest of the party murmuring their acceptance, Elissa favored us all with a smile, then turned back to the arlessa. "I'm very glad we were able to help," she said, "and I promise we'll do everything we can to find the ashes. For the evening, however, Lady Isolde, may we trespass upon your hospitality? Our battles of late have been very taxing, and the luxury of a bed would really help."

Lady Isolde assured us that we were welcome to spend the night, and gave the order that a hot meal would be made ready for us. Most of our party remained at the castle, but Elissa and I went to the docks with Bann Teagan and Lady Isolde to watch the funeral pyres being lit on the boats for those who didn't survive the attacks by the undead. It was a sad, sobering moment, and I can't help wondering how many more such events will have to take place in the months ahead. I'm sure they're holding a similar ceremony right now at the Circle of Magi for the lost mages and Templars... and I hope there's been one in Highever, for Elissa's family. We've just come back now, to join the others for dinner.

After everything that's happened in recent weeks, I probably don't have a right to be this happy. But I am.

Wynne, after her battle with the demon, was almost too tired to eat and excused herself early. The rest of us turned in right after the meal, but I couldn't sleep. I kept turning everything over in my mind. Finally, I gave up, threw off the covers, and decided to go for a walk.

I didn't expect to find Elissa in the corridor, but when I turned a corner, there she was, looking at some art on the wall. She looked as surprised to see me as I was to see her. "You couldn't sleep either?"

"Nope. Thought I'd walk out on the battlements, see if some fresh air would help... care to join me?"

"All right."

We stepped out onto the walk, where only a scant few guards paced in the shadows. I kept looking at her out of the corner of my eye, trying to find the courage to say something. Eventually I told her how glad I was that we were able to get through the whole Connor-has-a-demon mess without killing either him or Isolde, and how much I appreciate that she went to so much trouble for these people she doesn't really know. It's true, but it's not what I really wanted to say to her.

Finally we stopped walking, and looked out over Lake Calenhad. By daylight it's a beautiful view, and even with just the moon reflected in the water it's very pretty. I took a deep breath. There's been something on my mind for the last few days, and it was time I brought it up.

"Can I ask you about something that happened back there?"

"Hm? Back where?"

"In the Fade. With Goldanna-who-wasn't."

"You're not still worried about that, are you? It was a demon, Alistair. From something Wynne said, deception is what they do and they're really good at it - anyone would have been fooled."

"Oh. No, not that. Um... when you tried to get me to leave..."

Something flickered in her eyes. "Ye-e-es?" she asked warily, dragging one syllable out into three.

"The demon said they wouldn't let me go, that I belonged to them. And you said..." I felt myself blush. "You said I was yours."

"Oh. Oh, I'm sorry if I made you, um, uncomfortable. I just - I wasn't giving you up without a fight." Maybe it was a trick of the torchlight, but I could have sworn she was blushing too.

"Really, it's okay. It didn't, you know, bother me."

"Oh, good."

Everything felt really awkward. And then the next bit just came tumbling out. "So all this time we've spent together - you know, the tragedy, the brushes with death, the constant battles with the whole Blight looming over it - will you miss it, once it's over?"

She started to answer, but paused. "Miss all the fighting and death? Or miss you?"

It's unfair, really. The bravest, sweetest, most beautiful woman in Thedas should not also be so observant and intelligent. But she'd seen through the question, so I had to finish the thought.

"I know it might sound strange, considering we haven't known each other for very long," I began, "but I've come to care for you. A great deal. I think it's because we've gone through so much together. I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining it. Maybe I'm fooling myself. Am I? Or do you think you might ever feel the same way about me?"

I couldn't breathe, waiting for her to answer. It was such an oddly worded speech - but however she answered, at least I'd know if I had the smallest chance.

"I have something for you."

"...what?" Whatever answer I'd expected, that wasn't it.

"I took a wrong turn, just before dinner - and I found myself in the arl's study. It was on his desk. I had no right to take it, but I recognized it from your description and I just wanted you to - well, here." I'd never heard her babble before; it was kind of adorable. She pressed a trinket into my hands, an amulet depicting the flame of Andraste. An amulet which had clearly been broken into many pieces and then glued back together again.

"This is my mother's amulet." All I could do was stare at it. "It has to be! But why isn't it broken? You said the arl's study - he must have found it after I threw it at the wall, and he repaired it and kept it. I don't understand, why would he do that?"

"Maybe you mean more to him than you think."

"I guess you could be right. We never really talked that much, and then the way I left..." I trailed off and shook my head. "Thank you. I mean it - I thought I'd lost this to my own stupidity." Whenever we find the cure for Eamon, I'll need to thank him too.

And then something else clicked in my mind. "You remembered me telling you about this? Wow. I'm more used to people not really listening when I go on about things."

"Of course I remembered. You're special to me, and I care about you, too."

I really, really hadn't planned to kiss her. Not there, not then. But Andraste help me, I couldn't stop myself. And the most amazing part? She kissed me back.

"That wasn't too soon, was it?" I asked when we parted. She smiled, and looked away, and shook her head. "Good. Maker's breath, but you're beautiful. I am a lucky man."

Her lips did this amused twitchy thing. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"Yes, you are, and you know it," I teased her. "You're ravishing, resourceful, and a host of other things you'll probably hurt me for not saying."

She laughed. I love it when she laughs. "I would never hurt you."

"Nor I you."