It hurt. It actually hurt to remember. All of my memories are flashing through my eyes, every painful and good moment. More painful than good, just like I remember.

They appear almost like a fast forward video. The earliest is of me dealing with the abuse from my father, and having to fight my way back home with his drunken body leaning on me for support. Learning that my mother is dead when I find her in the bathroom that day after she had shot herself up with too much heroine. Having to live on my own on the streets, and doing exactly what my father was doing, stealing if he wasn't drunk before he eventually turned up dead like everyone in Gotham.

I wake myself up then, screaming as loud as I possible could, and someone is holding me in a tight embrace. Tears are running down my cheeks, and I don't dare to open my eyes. I'm being rocked back and forth like a baby, and I'm so confused that it just pushes me to cry harder.

"…Shhh, it's alright, Jane." Dick's voice suddenly echoes in my mind, and I feel like every part of me is shattering to pieces. For like the hundredth time in my life. I don't know what to do for once. Nothing is clear. What's real? What isn't? Maybe I'm dead. Again. But, the physical feelings of Dick's shirt gripped tight in my hands point to the opposite.

After who knows how long, I can't let anything else out, and just lay in his arms. I still haven't opened my eyes, sure that I was going to see something that I didn't want to. I was also semi enjoying his warmth, since I felt like I was freezing.

Dick's humming a song that I don't recognize, probably to try to calm me down more. I'm not much for that preppy pop music that is coming out lately. Or, maybe it's just that I haven't had time or motivation to listen to music radio stations.

"Jaybird, I know that you're awake." He says, after stopping his humming. "You can open your eyes."

"I-" I take a deep breathe before I sound like a bubbling idiot. "I can't."

"Are you worried that you're going to see Damian and the Joker again?" Dick asks, and his hands start rubbing the back of my head soothingly.

"That wasn't real?" I choke up a little bit, but nothing is able to come out. I really am extremely confused now. It was as if being in the apartment was the fake part of my mind, not the other way around. So, what is this then?

"No, it wasn't. The Joker is still out, and Damian, well…you know, he…" Dick is quiet for a moment, and my stomach drops when I realize what he's going to say. "Died. About six months ago, actually."

My eyes open wide, and I try to climb out of his arms. "No! That devil child is alive! I know it! I saw him clear as day! Why is the Joker alive when he isn't?" I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, and I manage to elbow Goldie in the throat. His grip on me lessens enough for me to lunge for the door.

When I open it, I come to an abrupt stop. Damian is standing there in his Robin uniform, with his arms crossed. He's wearing that glower that was on his face sixty percent of the time. "Todd, what are you doing?"

"Eh?"

"I'm gone for only a little bit, and you forget about me?" He looks away from me towards the floor, and I can feel the pain evident in his voice. "Why would you forget about me?"

"Dammit, Damian. That's not it! I just- I know you're alive! You're not dead!" Smoke suddenly fills my vision, and it was the last thing that I see before I black out again.

~Dick's view~

I feel bad for having to knock Jane out again. How many times has it been? Three? But, her hallucinations keep making her violent and clumsy. And, loud. The neighbors have been continuously knocking to make sure that everything is all right. For once, it isn't good that the old couple next door are unbelievably nice. It might get us in trouble.

Tim's working on finding a cause for Jane's delirium. I'm honestly at a loss for what is going on with her, but she's my little sister, and there's nothing that I wouldn't do to help her. Okay, maybe she's a little more than that, but it doesn't matter. I'm helping her out of this funk.

But, I've never seen her like this. This, meaning how…emotional she's being. I've never seen her cry, or heard her scream in terror, none of that. I used to think that the Lazarus pit had demolished every feeling that she could have inside of her or even before then at times. It's obvious that I was wrong, and Jane was probably dying on the inside while she put up this whole charade of her being a tough girl. I've always tried to not treat her like a villain like Bruce does, since she's gone through hell and then down another five hundred levels of hell. She's just doing what she believes in, and sometimes, I have to agree with her.

I sigh when I see her lying on the ground unconscious after the smoke disappears. I put away my gas mask before carefully picking her up. She's probably going to get a big bruise from falling on the tile floor. I thought Bruce had taught her how to fall correctly- oh wait, right. She's not exactly okay right now. Of course she wouldn't remember something like that.

Jane's head rests perfectly into the crook of my arm as I carry her wedding style. I'm careful not to pull her shirt up, since she'd probably smack me, thinking that I was being a pervert. What if she did something else though? I'm seeing a new Jane Todd, and now I'm not only determined to help her, but to also learn about her hidden self. Though, I know that she'd make fun of me for sounding so corny with that thought.

Before she died, Jane had never been much to socialize with others like I did as a teenager. I think it was because she was still adjusting to living in Wayne Manor with Alfred and Bruce, and getting used to being taken cared of like a family. She wasn't even used to the fact that she didn't have to steal food, but I guess that's why Bruce introduced me to her when she first moved in.

I gently put Jay on my bed, tucking her in like I remember my parents and Bruce used to. I lazily run my hands through her long curly hair, just out of habit.

I tense up slightly when she turns a little bit in her sleep towards my hand. Is she purring?

I shake my head, and gently pull my hand back to take out my phone. I need to call Tim, and hope that he got at least something.

"Dick-"

"Tim, just get to the point. Do you have anything from Jane's blood sample?" I ask, since the little bird was going to ask about Jay, and we don't have time since we don't even know what's going on. Or, at least I don't.

"There is something that's in her, a poison. I think antibiotics will cure it." He tells me the name, and I start to pace back and forth.

"I feel like there's something more to this than just a poison. That toxin shouldn't affect Jane as much as it is. It only makes the victim result in having a fever, yet she's completely fine." I stop, and stare at the sleeping girl in my bed. "She just had another episode."

"What?"

"I'm still trying to piece together what she saw, but I was right about her thinking that it was Damian and the Joker." I forgot who told me this, but someone had once said that someone's nightmares are a view into their soul and deepest secrets. Joker I get, but Damian? Is it because he died? Or, because she was there when it actually happened?

"Dick, maybe we should, um, I don't know. Get her some professional help…." He falters at the end, and I sigh.

"No, we'll just see what happens when we get the toxin out." I hang up to kneel back down next to Jay. Her face is scrunched up like she's about to cry again, and out of pure instinct, I rub her cheek with my thumb as I cradle the rest of her head in my hand. "What's going on, Jane?" I mutter.

AN: Hi! Hope you're liking the story so far! It's obvious that Jane's not exactly...sane right now, so don't believe everything the narrator says. That was sort of the point of the past couple of chapters, but I forgot to say that last chapter. Whoops! Anyways, review, favorite, follow- do whatcha want! But, if you want anything to happen to Jane or any of the Batfamily, say it! I want to continue this story since it's been so much fun to write!