Can you believe it's been over 3 months since I started posting. Cray.

In response to a couple of the reviewers - indeed, I did leave the end of Ch 21 hanging - I return to that thread in this chapter. Out of curiosity, did it jar to skip like that or were you okay with where I started ch22?

Also: WARNING! the end of the chapter gets steamy, so if you there are places you shouldn't be reading this... then don't. ;)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Marina's eyes watched the door that Clara had just exited.

"Where have you been?" Marina asked her father abruptly, swinging around to look at him.

"I've been busy."

"You've been busy? You've been too busy to think about your daughter and how all this might be affecting her? Too busy to call or, I don't know, email!? I've been worried sick, dad, quite besides the fact that I've lost everything. Everything!"

"Daughter, daughter! I wanted to, believe me, but my situation has been delicate and I couldn't risk any contact in case they came down on you."

"Well they did come down on me, dad, like vulchers picking away at my flesh, leaving me nothing. I've had to go live with Branca of all people because I can't afford to rent, let alone buy. I've lost my business, Vanessa, you weren't responding to any of my messages and I'm forced to share this - this space because this is all I can manage right now!"

Diego looked down at the peace lily's he'd held in his hand. Marina could see she'd affected him, that she'd attacked his weak spot and she felt a twinge. But mostly she felt pissed off. He'd unceremoniously yanked her safety net away from her and she was still in free fall, any moment she could hit rock bottom and it would hurt. How could he stand at her doorway with flowers and think it would be okay?

"I'm sorry." he said sadly.

They stood a moment and then Marina wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." she said, "I've been worried sick is all, where have you been?"

"In Switzerland trying to save what I could."

"Tell me, what happened? Have they taken everything?"

"They've taken everything they could get their hands on."

"Come, sit. Can I get you anything? I'm afraid I can only offer water or tea."

"A water will be fine."

As she searched for a glass in the kitchenette he explained how the authorities had been circling for some time now, how his business partner of over a decade had sworn black and blue that their money was clean. But it wasn't. He shook his head as he said this, his shoulders drooping and he looked old in the moment before he collected himself. He said he'd finally decided it was time to come back and face whatever consequences awaited him. Marina's anger at him dissapated a little as she listened. Her father wasn't infallible.

She placed the glass on the table and sat down next to him.

"Does this mean you could go to jail, dad?"

The thought prickled down her spine and settled uncomfortably in her stomach.

"I don't know. Maybe. My lawyers aren't sure. But more importantly I've let you down, Marina. And for that I am truly sorry. I know it's been hard on you."

"I've been mad at you, you know, but mostly because you didn't call and let me know what was happening or how you were. I needed you."

"I'm sorry," he said again and Marina could see how much he meant it. "Tell me everything that's happening with you."

Marina surprised herself by bursting into tears.

Xxx

Although Clara had presented an interested face to Mrs Rodriguez, answered all the question and remembered to ask after her son, she had been distracted. Her mind had been replaying the argument with Marina. This was their first proper disagreement as a couple and she guessed she should have expected it but they had always been in such accordance with each other that she simply hadn't been able to imagine they ever would. Marina's accusations scraped over her consciousness. She was still thinking about it as she descended a few flights to make Ivan dinner and put him to bed and was about to enter the flat when she heard the sound of her mum calling her name. She turned around.

"Can we talk?" Chica said.

They hadn't spoken properly since the family dinner two weeks ago. Their interactions had been brief, perfunctory and due only to Ivan. Every time she saw her mother, Clara's heart had begun to race and she'd hoped Chica wouldn't look at her with that wounded gaze, but every time she did. Every time Clara had tried to say something, Chica had cut her off. Every time it hurt.

She'd begun to wonder if this was to be the new status quo. Barely amicable. It felt like all her relationships were somehow crumbling and all she'd been trying to do was make it all okay, torn between dividing forces that pulled her this way and that. What else could she possibly do?

Ivan was fed and in his bedroom finishing his homework before bed. Cadu was out for the evening. With a hot tea clasped in their hands, Clara waited for Chica to start.

"I'm sorry I haven't come to talk to you sooner, Clara but I... I just... I've been trying to understand, you know? It's been a shock. A real shock. Finding out my daughter is... well, that she left a beautiful husband behind and that she's seeing a woman, ...I'm struggling to understand."

"I'm sorry you had to find out like that..."

"What is this Clara? Why did you do it? Is it a phase? Are you just bored of your relationship?"

"No."

"Did this Marina seduce you with her money, her exciting lifestyle? Is that it?"

"No! That's not it at all, mum. I mean, yes, I love what she does, it's different and fascinating, but you know me – I'm not someone to forget myself because of that."

"Aren't you? She's turned your head! She photographed you, threw you that party and you let her."

"But it's not those things that turned my head, mum."

"Then what was it? Were you bored? Are you unsatisfied in the bedroom? Were you curious to know what it was like to be with a woman?"

"Gosh! No, mum! Cadu and I, we were fine, I had no complaints and it wasn't boredom -"

"Then what? And a woman? A man I can understand, it's natural to be tempted, but a woman - "

"What's unnatural about a woman?"

"It's just wrong. It's not how God intended - "

"How do you know that? How can you say what God intended? If he hadn't intended it, why allow it in the first place, why even make that an option?"

"Well why allow the devil and hell? Purgatory? Evil forces like Hitler?"

Clara felt a prickling down her spine because even though she believed deeply that it wasn't wrong she had asked herself that same question and all she'd ended up with was a question mark. She groped for the one thing she knew for sure.

"How can love be wrong?"

Chic clasped the ceramic mug tightly in her hand.

"Is that what it is?"

"Unequivocally. Nothing less than the deepest, truest love could have made me leave Cadu. Not curiosity, not boredom."

"Oh."

They sat in the silence that ensured.

"Did... was it me, Clara? Did I do something to make you like this? With your father dying... maybe you needed a stronger role model in your life? Is that it?"

Chica's voice was tentative, vulnerable. Clara knew it had taken a lot for her to ask this question. She reached for her mothers hand and kissed it.

"No." Clara whispered, "You've been an amazing mum – I couldn't have asked for better. It has nothing to do with that..."

"I want to be okay with this, you know. I think... I hope I will be. I just need time."

"Okay."

Chica squeezed her hand. "I love you Clara. Above all know that. No matter what happens, be it a phase... or not."

Clara felt tears pricking her eyes, "This isn't a phase, mum, this isn't an experiment. This is who I am and who I've always been, I just didn't know it. And if I have my way I want to be with Marina for a very long time. Forever, even."

Chica breathed in. "How can you know that, Clara?"

"How did you know about you and Ricardo?"

Chica paused. "I guess I just did."

"Same. Sure, it's unconventional and different, but ma... she makes me feel alive! She makes me feel like I can be so much more than I ever thought. It's like she's peeled away this...this thick layer of skin that I didn't know I had, that muted my experience of being alive and exposed the real me that was dormant underneath. I don't know how to explain it – but it just feels more right than anything I've ever experienced. And it's worth it. All the prejudice, the looks, people talking behind my back, it's worth it just as any real, honest love is. I just hope you can eventually be okay with it."

The tears that fell were of sadness for a mother who didn't understand but equally of joy for the beauty of what she and Marina had. It moved through her and made her feel so humble, so grateful.

"I'll try," Chica said, shaking her head. "I don't get it, but I'll try."

Chica raised a hand to wipe away the tears and then she opened her arms up to her daughter who leaned in, laying her head on her chest, a chest that always been there, even now. She felt arms wrap around her, she felt a kiss on her head just like when she was a little girl.

"There, there, don't cry." Chica crooned softly

A tension she'd held in her throat for the past two weeks seemed to release out with each new tear that ran down her cheek. Her mother thought she was wrong and that hurt but at least she was here and she was trying. That was good enough for now.

Xxx

After thinking about it far too much, Marina found herself knocking at Helena's front door at eleven o'clock at night. Helena seemed surprised but greeted her warmly and told her Clara was having a shower. Marina entered Luiza's old bedroom to hear the sound of running water through the en-suite door.

She and her father had spent some time talking that afternoon. When he'd left it had been with a sense of reconciliation although she couldn't lie. His total absence couldn't be forgotten in the space of a few hours. After he left her, her thoughts had turned to Clara and she'd pulled out her cellphone to call but she hadn't known what to say or if Clara even wanted to hear from her right then. She hadn't been kind, she knew, she'd allowed her frustrations to get the better of her, even though she'd sworn to herself she wouldn't let that happen right from the start. She'd known it would be like this. Clara had responsibilities.

Placing her bag on the bed and shipping out of her shoes, she stepped into the bathroom. The glass of the shower was frosted with condensation but she could make out the shape of Clara's body, the curve of her waist, her legs. Her arms were raised, massaging the shampoo from her hair, turning as she did to reveal the silhouette of a small breast. Marina hesitated a moment before her hand rose to clasp the silver door handle and pulled. Clara yelped, turning around.

"Marina! What are you doing?"

Water sprayed across her dress making it cling to her body.

"I'm sorry." she said, "about today. I wasn't being fair."

She looked at Clara, whose hair was plastered to her head, rivulets of water down her cheek, droplets on her eyelashes, blinking slowly.

"You weren't being unfair."

"No, no I was. I understand how tenuous your situation is... and I'm sorry."

Marina stepped in.

"Forgive me?"

Clara cracked a smile.

"There's nothing to forgive, you mad thing."

She slowly reached for Marina's hand and placed them on her hips. Marina pulled her close, searching her eyes to make sure she spoke the truth. She could could feel Clara's naked body through the material of her dress, those soft, inviting curves. Her hands slide around her back, sliding over wet skin, pressing her in, kissing her shoulder, her neck.. Clara sighed, arching her neck. When she pulled back their gaze locked and Marina felt a thrill of anticipation at what she saw in Clara's eye. Their lips met, moving slowly together building until, suddenly, it was as if an electric charge leapt between them making them hungry. Marina pushed Clara back against the glass pane and deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue between Clara's lips, grasping possesivley at her ass, opening her wide enough to slide a thigh between her legs. She felt Clara's hands tug impatiently at her dress, peeling it up and over her head. It fell heavy on the floor, her bra and panties following. Their bodies came together again, slippery wet, their breath short, the shower hot on their skin as if they wanted to consume each other.

Marina moved down Clara's body, taking each dusky nipple in her mouth in turn, tracing her tongue around the areola, flicking and sucking, increasing the pressure until Clara bit her lip and groaned. She kissed her way down the taunt belly, hands sliding over the curve of the torso, moving lower until she buried her face between shapely tanned legs. Her tongue darted out, seeking the throbbing bundle of nerves, tracing the fleshy lips that kept it hidden, dipping in, tasting her salty juices mixed with water. She felt Clara arch against her mouth. God how she loved it when she did that. She loved how freely Clara gave of herself in sex. She didn't hold back. It was heady to know she had Clara willingly at her mercy, to be given access to this sacred, private part of herself. This was her privilege and her privilege alone. She'd sensed this passion, tied up and pushed deep down within her when they'd first met, tantalising her with the promise of what could be. She'd spent nights frustrated and aching for a touch that wasn't yet hers, her own hand serving as a poor, if necessary, substitute. But even the hottest fantasies were not equal to kneeling between Clara's thighs and having her. She sipped delicately and looked up to see Clara cupping her own breast, pinching her nipple, her head banging against the glass as she threw it back, eyes closed. Marina growled and pulled a leg over her shoulder to spreading her wider. She knew she had it right when the little cries built in intensity with each steady stroke, getting louder, more jagged. Clara's hand cradled the back of her head, holding her there.

"Oh god, yes, oh god yes," she gasped, her chest heaving, stomach muscles rippling with each shudder that moved through her until Clara let out a keening cry, her body tensing, her supporting leg shaking.

"Stop, stop." she said when she began to breath again, sliding down to join Marina on the floor. "Wow. "

"But you taste so delicious." Marina said.

"Let me taste."

Clara pulled Marina to straddle her lap for a deep kiss. Marina's sensitive nipples grazed against Clara's skin and a shiver slid down her spine. Even after months of having Clara she still ached for her touch all the time. Never before had it been like this.

She traced her tongue on Clara's lower lip and pressesd her body in as her lover's nails scrapped down her back.

"Fuck me, Clara" Marina whispered hot in her ear and then watched Clara's pupils dilate.

Clara maneuvered her until they stood, turning her so that her hands pressed against the glass door, her legs splayed. Clara's pelvis pressed against her buttocks, her hands running over the red marks she'd just made on the fair skin of her back, then around to her cup her breasts. She rocked back on her feet before plunging two fingers in from behind. Marina cried out, heat radiating out, pulsing to the thrusting rhythm Clara set. She didn't know if her legs would hold her so she leaned against her hands and let the arm that Clara wound around her torso support her. She felt Clara lick a drop of water from her neck before kissing her there, her mouth resting against a fleshy earlobe.

"You are so fucking sexy." Clara breathed and pumped her hand faster, making Marina arch up, her head falling onto Clara's shoulder. She turned her face in and her arm curved back, pulled Clara in for a kiss. The weight of her body pushed them backwards into the tiled shower wall. Clara pulled out only to re-enter from the front, the base of her palm pressing firmly against her clit. Marina groaned pushing her ass until it fit snugly against Clara's pubic bone and rocked. Clara was panting in her ear, intoxicating her with her seductive moans, making her pussy ache as her body began to tense for release, then fingers clamped her nipple and her body contracted as she tumbled into an orgasm that burned all the way from her head to her toes. When the sensation subsided, she found they were on the floor. They caught their breath, the water raining down on them.

Marina began to laugh. "You just came again, didn't you?"

"Mmmmhmmm." Clara said, kissing her cheek. "Maybe we should have spats more often."

"No thanks." Marina said. "I hated it."

"Yeah, me too. But you were right, you know."

"I was?"

"I have been using Cadu as an excuse - because I'm sacred, Marina."

"Scared of us?"

"No. Scared of telling Ivan because I want him to accept you in my life and I don't know how he'll take it. My divorce has been hard on him. Scared of what Cadu might do. Legally we may be a legitimate couple but it's not really accepted and you've had years to learn how to be okay with being gay. For me it's so new – what sharing a home would imply for my life and for Ivan's."

"I understand, I do. I just got frustrated today, you know?"

"And rightly so."

"But I had no right to take it out on you."

"Didn't you once say we take out our frustrations on those we love most?"

"And didn't you say that's no excuse?"

Clara pressed her face into Marina's neck and sighed.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"Believe me, I'm the lucky one. Now how about we get out of the shower before we become prunes, huh?" and they laughed.