CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Marina sat at the coffee table in Clara's apartment that night with her laptop on her lap. She was clearing her inbox, something she hadn't had time to do in a while as she'd been per-occupied with tidying up the accounts, working on her book and planning a new exhibition. She'd decided she'd make the bold move, limitations be damned. She was tired of waiting for things to change.
The idea for the exhibition had come to her the previous week when she'd been driving to Clara's and, while waiting at a light, she'd seen a woman on the side of the street, a child in an old, dirty stroller which was weighed down by a number of plastic shopping bags, a toddler on her hip and a young girl in a dress holding onto her t-shirt. Something had made Marina stop. Maybe it was the way the light was falling on her tired, determined face, highlighting the square set of her shoulders. Marina had grabbed for her camera and stepped onto the pavement and taken two dozen, quick-fire photos as the woman waited, bouncing the toddler on her hip as he'd begun to whine about something, her face becoming momentarily soft as she clucked at him and then pushing the stroller across the street. Cars had begun to blare their horns at Marina. She'd waved them off as she'd climbed back into her car and driven off, watching the woman disappear in her review mirror.
When she'd reviewed the photos later that night she'd felt that thrilling prickle of inspiration down her spine. The photo spoke of an undefeated strength that Marina gravitated towards.
"I love the symbolism of it – the overloaded stroller, the kids hanging off her and there she is, a pillar of strength holding it all together." Marina had said to Clara who was lying between her legs, propped against her chest, the laptop on her knees so they could both see it. Marina rested her chin on the crown on Clara's head, finger tips idly playing down the length of Clara's arm.
"It' a gorgeous shot."
"You know – I think I want to do more of this sort of thing. I'd love to do photographic survey on this or something. On women like this one, real, every day women who struggle through the mundane and yet find the ability to sooth their child like that. Look at the love in her eyes."
"Well why not? Maybe you could do an exhibition on it." Clara had said.
"Yeah. Maybe."
For a moment Marina felt a vague sense of dread rise up in her that she was unable to identify. It was fear of how she would get money for such an exhibition, how this artistic divergence from her previous work might be received, a general sense of fear of an unknown future. It stiffened her body.
"You're afraid, aren't you?" Clara said quietly.
She'd huffed and closed her eyes, dropping a kiss onto Clara's head. How this woman could know her heart so easily, she didn't know because once Clara had identified, she'd known that's what it was. It was like Clara could see into her and read her better than she could sometimes. No one – perhaps only her mother, had even been able to see her so clearly. And even that sometimes frightened her because she understood the impermanence of things and yet she knew that now that she had Clara, she couldn't let her go ever. To loose her would be a devastation she wouldn't recover from and in her greatest moments of fear it was this thought that brushed her consciousness. She let her hand move up Clara's arm and slide into the top of her t-shirt to rest on her left breast, feeling the strong heart beat against the palm.
"I'm less afraid when I'm with you." she murmured and closed her eyes. The fear dissipated a little and as it did she turned the idea of an exhibition around in her head. She decided she liked the idea.
"You know... it could be along the lines of the Paris exhibition… women's strength. Only this time there's nothing posed or styled about it. It could be portraits living women in their lives, that real, gritty reality, you know?"
"I think you should do it." Clara had said leaning her head back and kissing her cheek.
Marina's head had begun to buzz with the possibilities.
"Mmmmm." Marina had hummed as she dipped her head to dust her lips across Clara's neck. "Thank you."
"Why thank-you?"
For being supportive. For buoying me up through this."
"Same way you are with me, my love."
"We make a good couple, don't we?"
"Yeah. I think we make a pretty incredible couple."
And she'd kissed Clara then, tasting her warm, wet mouth and soft lips. Clara had closed the laptop, placing it on the floor and Marina's fingers had curled to pinch her nipple, anticipation coursing through her. She'd felt Clara arch and guided her free hand down her torso, under the elastic her pants, pressing her fingers between her legs, into her slippery folds with a sigh...
"What are you thinking about?"
Marina started as Clara's voice interrupted her reverie.
"Oh!" she said, "just remembering our little session on this couch the other night."
Hmmmm. That was pretty good." Clara grinned and curled up next to Marina, her head resting on her shoulder. She slid a hand under Marina's top to rest on the skin of her stomach and closed her eyes.
"Ivan asleep?"
"Close. He can't get enough of Harry Potter right now, wanted me to read him extra tonight but I think he missed half of it, even though he was trying very hard to stay awake ."
Clara sighed and rested quietly while Marina returned to her e-mails. She yawned wide and then started when Marina's had flew to her face and gasped.
"What is it?"
"Oh Clarinha!" Marina breathed
"What?"
"I just sold some of my work! A print from each of the elements." Marina laughed and leaned in, skimming the e-mail. "The woman who bought it sent a note – she saw my exhibition in Paris and she's decorating a space that she uses, it says here, for the sacred feminine, whatever that means. This is perfect!"
"I'm so happy for you!"
Marina put the laptop on the coffee table and turned to tackle Clara down onto the couch. Clara squirmed and laughed.
"Arrgh, stop it!"
She was pinned down by Marina's body weight and Marina enthusiastically kissing her face.
"I love you!" Marina said.
"I think you should sell your work more often, if this is how you react." she said, raising her legs to hook around Marina's waist.
"I'm just so happy, you have no idea. I have a fantastic exhibition I'm working on. I've just sold some of my work and that means I can pay rent for the next few months and I'm in love with the most amazing woman and she love me back!"
Clara narrowed her eyes.
"Who is this woman? I will fight her for your favour."
"I'll let her know." Marin a chuckled and captured Clara in a kiss. She wanted to go further, she wanted to pull her nightie up, to expose Clara's naked body, to claim her with her hands, run them over that smooth skin to those perfect breasts whose nipples would harden beneath her touch. She wanted to watch Clara's eyes dilate, watch her bit her lip as that first warm wave of desire made her chest flush red. Marina wanted to spread her legs to smell her desire, to kiss the inner thigh, so soft, down to her throbbing, wet sex waiting for her. She wanted to hear Clara's husky voice moan as she circled and then dipped her tongue into the opening, to feel the hand she knew would thread through her hair urging her deeper and faster. She wanted to enter her with her fingers as she sucked on the her clit, hear Clara gasp with each thrust, louder, higher, her body arching off the couch, her quivering breasts to the sky as it built up, until she shattered and her sex pulsed. But she knew she couldn't. Ivan was asleep in the next room so instead they lay wrapped up together on the couch.
"I suppose I should get going," Marina sighed after a bit although it felt so good lying there, "it's bed time."
"No," Clara groaned, tightening her hold, "stay."
"But I have to get up early for that meeting with my editor."
"You'd be closer to the meeting if you stayed here…"
Marina frowned.
"What do you mean, stay here?"
"Stay the night here. With me."
"But Ivan…"
"I'm done dancing to Cadu's tune."
Marina looked at Clara a moment, a warmth bursting through her body. Clara had rung her on her way to the office that morning and ranted for a full ten minutes before Marina could get a word in edgewise about her argument with Cadu. She'd said she'd had it and that Cadu could go screw himself but she'd attributed that to the heat of the moment, she hadn't expected Clara to ask her this.
"Do you mean it? I can stay?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
Marina grinned, cupping Clara's face and showering her face with kisses again.
"I accept!" She said.
Xxx
At six o'clock the next morning, chased by the remnants of a dream, the small figure of Ivan appeared at his mother's bedroom doorway, rubbing his sleepy eyes. He took in the two sleeping figures in the bed. His mother lay on her side with Marina spooned into her, an arm draped across her waist. Hair spilled across the pillows two shades of brown intermingling, their breath slow, rhythmic, synchronized. There was something touching about seeing them like that, something intimate that Ivan didn't quite understand. It made him pause before he tip toed to his mother.
"Mum?" he whispered
"Mmm?" Clara said, stirring.
"What is Marina doing in your bed?"
Clara opened her eyes, looking down at the arm at her waist and then up to Ivan and his confused face.
"Oh." She said and sat up, opening her arms for him to climb into her arms. He settled against her side and watched Marina as she rolled onto her back.
"Where you going, my love," she murmured, reaching for Clara's hand and kissing it, "come back."
"Ivan's here, Marina."
Marina's eyes opened wide.
"Oh." She said and sat up. "Oh." She said again adjusting the nightie she'd borrowed from Clara and ran a hand through her hair.
Ivan watched this all curiously.
"Do you have something to tell me?" he asked the same way Clara so often had with him when he'd been naughty and was trying to hide it. He felt it was appropriate to given how funny the two of them were being.
"Actually, Ivan, I do." Clara said. She'd hoped to sit him down calmly at some point in the next few days but that clearly wasn't an option. " So you can see that Marina stayed the night last night…"
She saw him clocking their linked hand
"…and… well, she's going to be staying over more."
"She was hugging you the way dad used to." Ivan observed and Clara wasn't sure if that tone was accusatory or not. "Does that mean she's your girlfriend?"
Clara glanced back to Marina who was sitting quietly and he saw a little smile pass between them, like they were sharing a secret.
"Yes. She is. She's my girlfriend."
"Okay." He said,nodding seriously. "Does that mean you'll lock your door like you used to with dad?"
"Oh." Clara said blushing which Ivan thought was peculiar. He'd never seen her do that before. "I guess… yes, sometimes that might happen."
"Okay." Ivan said again.
"Do you have any… questions about this…?"
"Well, I'm still processing, mum."
"Of course. But you know you can ask me anything, okay?"
"And me too." Marina piped in.
Ivan looked pensive a moment and then he leaned up to whisper into Clara's ear, both his hand cupped at his mouth.
"Does that mean I can't come and sleep in your bed anymore, mum, when Marina is here?"
His whisper was loud enough that Marina caught it, so when Clara pulled back and hesitated, she said "Ivan, you are welcome to sleep here any time you want. In fact I'd love it if you did."
Ivan saw his mother's shoulder relax, saw her look to Marina and slowly blink her eyes and mouth "I love you."
"Good!" Ivan said and snuggled into the bed. "because I like this bed."
Clara lay back down, pulling his small frame into hers and Ivan felt Marina settle down behind his mum, her arm wrapping around her waist once more. He wiggled to get comfortable.
Then. "Do you kiss each other on the lips?"
Clara laughed an ticked him, making him yelp.
"Yes," she said, "yes, we kiss each other on the lips."