Shadow and Rose

by Lady Norbert

A/N: I'm sure most people already know this, but the Battledress of the Provocateur is only available if you have the DLC called Leliana's Song, and requires some careful work. If you play through the DLC and collect all six pieces of the armor, it will appear in your inventory in every new game of Origins or Awakening that you start. It's got some really great attributes.

Chapter Twenty: Battledress of the Provocateur

This perfect suit embodies the paradox of the bardic spy. Intricate details yearn for an audience, but a worthy owner gives only a glimpse in the reflection of a blade drawn swiftly from the heart.

We've stopped for the night, and I'm taking a little time in my tent to write. My head feels crowded, somehow, like it has more thoughts than it should be able to properly hold, so I'm trying to get a few of them out on paper to clear up some space.

Brother Genitivi looked a lot better this morning. I can't imagine they were feeding him much up in Haven, considering the way his clothes sort of hang on him. Really, he's not a particularly strong guy, so I'm impressed he was able to hold out as well as he did against the treatment he received. But he's had a couple of good hot meals since we got to Redcliffe, and his color is much healthier. He joined us at breakfast in the main dining hall and seemed delighted to meet the rest of our party.

"I've read a number of your writings," Elissa told him. "My father and grandfather were both of a scholarly turn; I think the library in Castle Cousland must contain the majority of your books." Her face paled slightly, and I think I know what went through her mind. Maybe it did once, but who knows what it contains now?

"You probably don't remember it," Genitivi told her, "but I visited your family's castle many years ago. You were only a babe in arms; I don't think you could have been more than two at the time. Your parents showed me every courtesy. I am deeply sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. Well - if everyone is ready, we can start for Denerim once we finish eating. I imagine you're eager to get back to your researches."

"To some extent, though with the discovery of Andraste's blessed tomb I'd say I've probably achieved the glory of my career." He chuckled. "But I'm looking forward to organizing all of my findings and submitting them to the Chantry. I'm sure they'll want to make pilgrimages, if only to verify the truth of my words for themselves."

Genitivi still isn't walking quite right, so Arl Eamon presented him with the gift of a white donkey from the Redcliffe stables. It's making the trip back to Denerim easier on him. "I would offer horses to all of you," he said, "but I have none to spare at the moment - it seems most of them have been taken by the Knights who went in search of the Sacred Urn, and I can't say I know when to expect them back. I hope at least most of them are able to return."

The whole family came out to bid us farewell; it was the first I've seen of Connor since Wynne went into the Fade and killed the demon that was possessing him. He seems mostly all right, but very quiet. Eamon reminded us to come back to Redcliffe as soon as we've finished our talks with the dwarves, which will hopefully not take too long. I'm not eager for the Landsmeet, but the sooner we have an army assembled to take on the Archdemon, the sooner the Blight can be over.

I just realized something. Elissa and I planned to return to Soldier's Peak when the Blight ended, to create new Grey Wardens and rebuild. But now I'm going to be king, unless things go horribly wrong at the Landsmeet. Does that mean she'll be doing it alone? I can't be a king and a Grey Warden at the same time, can I? And what does that mean for us? I need to talk to Wynne about this.

I almost started this entry by saying 'Well, that was unexpected,' but at this point I think it's fairly obvious that everything that happens to us is pretty unexpected.

We still don't dare take the Imperial Highway, of course, because we don't want to risk being spotted by Loghain's men. It's not exactly easy going through the woodlands and such with a party as large as ours, but at least there are marked paths; we do the best we can and it's usually okay. How anyone can find a way to track us is beyond me, but someone managed it. We had just stepped into this rather pretty clearing, with a little rushing river. Elissa had only just asked Zevran and Leliana to stop and refill our water skins when she was struck in the arm by an arrow. Of course, it just sort of bounced off of her armor, but it still caught us all by surprise. And then the whole group of them ambushed us.

"Protect Brother Genitivi!" Elissa shouted, drawing Starfang.

It was, at least, quick and relatively clean work. There were only a handful, and they weren't exactly the best. They all soon lay dead except for the apparent leader; Elissa wanted him alive for questioning. He lay on his side, clutching a wound and groaning. "Who are you working for?" she demanded, pushing him onto his back and resting the point of her blade near his throat. His skin looked weird under the glow of the weapon.

"My orders were... kill the little red-haired girl."

"The little... what?" Leliana pushed forward. "You were supposed to kill me?"

"Orlesian woman..."

This was apparently all Leliana needed to hear. "Marjolaine," she hissed. She gave Elissa a pleading look. "It has to be."

"Tell me how to find this woman," Elissa said, her voice very cold, "and I will let you keep your life."

"Agreed! Agreed! Maker bless you for your mercy! Here - here's all the information I have."

"Good. Now start running." I haven't heard or seen her like that since she spared the blood mage back in the Circle so many weeks ago. It's a chilling thing when my Elissa gets truly angry, especially since it happens so rarely.

Leliana was looking at the paper he had surrendered. "She's in Denerim. It has to be her... no one else would go to this much effort to find me."

"Excuse the interruption," said Morrigan, dryly, "but who exactly is this person?" I saw Elissa hesitate. "They did just try to kill us all," the swamp witch continued. (That's what Shale calls her and she hates it, so I kind of like it.) "It seems to me that we have a right to know why."

"Fair enough," said Leliana. "Marjolaine was... well, you might call her my mentor, when I lived in Orlais. She taught me how to be a bard. I told Elissa all of this a while ago; the reason I came to Ferelden is because Marjolaine betrayed me. She framed me for treason and I was tortured, nearly executed. But I escaped and found my way to the Chantry, who accepted me among them and helped me get to Lothering. You know my story from there."

"And suddenly this woman seeks your death?" asked Sten. Everyone always looks just a little surprised when he says something. "That seems curious."

"She has wanted me dead for years. Maybe she couldn't find me while I was with the Chantry. Or maybe she's just been waiting for the perfect time." Leliana looked at Elissa. "We're going to Denerim anyway. I would very much like to confront her."

"And we will, Leli." Elissa's mouth was a grim line. "As soon as Brother Genitivi is safe and settled, we will confront her. I do not let people hurt my friends."

I woke early, before my turn at watch, and went out to sit with Wynne. "You look troubled, Alistair," she said. "Come and tell me what's on your mind."

So I did. I told her all my worries and my confusion and my anger about the whole prince situation. "I don't want to be king," I said finally, "but I know it's what Ferelden needs. I'm willing to put my country above myself. It's the fact that I have to stop being a Grey Warden that bothers me the most, really. We call it 'the duty that cannot be forsworn,' but here I am having to forswear it. Plus, that puts even more of a burden on Elissa's shoulders, and she already carries more than should even be humanly possible."

"Yes... I can see the problem." Wynne had been quiet the whole time I was speaking, just listening and occasionally nodding. "Elissa will be the Warden-Commander - in largest part, she already is - and you'll be the king. Two very demanding roles, to be sure, and probably two that won't allow you to be together much."

"If at all. Soldier's Peak is a long way from Denerim. There's an ache in my chest every time I think about it."

She smiled, a little sadly. "I'm not sure how to advise you, I'm afraid. There's quite possibly no good solution to any of it."

"I didn't really think you could advise me," I admitted. "I just really needed to talk to someone. I would talk to Elissa, but I don't want to add to her concerns. She's pretty worried about Leliana on top of everything else."

"Well, for the time being, I think you just need to focus on removing Loghain from power and quelling the Blight. A lot can happen between now and whenever this war will end."

"What do you mean?"

"Look at us right now, Alistair. A year ago, I was a mage in the Circle Tower and you were training to be a Templar and we probably never could have been friends. But here we are, close companions who journeyed together to find the Sacred Urn of Andraste. We've come closer than any other living Fereldans to standing in Her holy presence."

"Well, that's true."

"So consider that perhaps this is all part of the Maker's design. He must have something in mind for all of us. I'm not sure I'd believe it's merely coincidence that has brought Elissa forward as the champion of the innocent, or the rest of us as her allies. Do you?"

"Probably not."

"Which means it's also not coincidence that the two of you have fallen in love. That, too, must be part of the Maker's plan. And that means that there must be a reason for it, which He has not yet chosen to reveal."

"So what you're saying is... He wouldn't have brought us together if He didn't mean for us to stay together?"

"That's just my opinion. But yes."

I don't know how to explain it, but Wynne is really good at making me feel better.

We've reached Denerim. I still don't know how he does it, but Bodahn Feddic was waiting for us at the gates of the market district, and his wagon contained everything the girls had brought with them from their visit to the elves. Elissa presented the Juggernaut armor to Sten, who seems pleased with it (to the extent that I can tell, anyway), and she also had a pair of Dalish gloves for Zevran. Apparently his mother was Dalish, and had owned a similar pair. He seemed really astonished that she had remembered him talking about them, much less thought to buy him some.

"No one has ever just... given me a gift before," he said. "I do not know what to say. Thank you."

We took a few rooms at the Gnawed Noble Tavern. Normally it's where the nobility of Ferelden stay if they don't have manors within the city limits; some of them do, but most of them, especially the ones from the more remote bannorns and arlings, just stay here. I imagine it'll be packed for the Landsmeet.

The main reason for this is that Brother Genitivi's house is directly across the road from the tavern, and Elissa wants to keep an eye on him for a couple of days. "There's simply no way to know for certain that he's safe," she explained to us over dinner. Genitivi himself wasn't with us; we left him at the doors of the Chantry, where he wanted to spend some time praying for those who lost their lives over his search for the Ashes. "I'm sure that by now, from what you've told me, those people in Haven know that you've fled and taken him with you. They know where he lives, so I just want to keep an eye on him to make sure no one comes and tries to hurt him again. He's been through enough."

"That seems reasonable," said Wynne. "So we'll take it in turns to watch his house?"

"If no one objects, yes. I already spoke to Shale about it," she added. "Shale's agreed to stand guard inside his house for the duration of our time here, and is there now. Meanwhile, we can use this time to examine our supplies, get a little extra rest, that kind of thing. All I ask is that if you go out into the city, you go in pairs and try to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Loghain is almost certainly in the palace; let's try not to attract his attention if we can help it."

Leliana gave her what I can only describe as a pleading sort of look. "And Marjolaine?"

"We will confront Marjolaine," Elissa agreed. "But I don't think we need all go. I'll go with you; anyone else?"

"I'll come, of course," I said.

After a bit more discourse, it was decided that Zevran and Wynne would come, Sten would keep watch over Brother Genitivi's place, and Morrigan would... well, whatever she does when we're not around. We'll be heading over to the house that Leliana's attacker identified first thing in the morning; it's here in the market district, so it should be easy to find.

Well, Marjolaine wasn't exactly unprepared for our arrival.

She was a beautiful woman, I give her that. Deep brown hair, elegant figure, sultry eyes. She also gave me the major creeps. She kept calling Leliana "my Leliana." I kind of get the impression that there was a little more between them than just a working relationship.

"So lovely to see you again, my dear," she said.

"Spare me the pleasantries."

Marjolaine went on a minor tirade about the stench of Ferelden, how the smell of wet dog gets into everything. I saw Elissa's eye twitch. "You tried to have Leliana - and all the rest of us - killed," she said.

"So businesslike, your companion," said Marjolaine. She gave Elissa a look of such disdain that I almost went for my sword. Zevran tensed beside me too.

"You framed me," said Leliana. "You had me caught and tortured. I thought here in Ferelden I'd be free of you. What happened to make you hate me so? Why do you want me dead so badly?" I felt sorry for her; she was trying to be strong, but there was a lot of pain in her voice.

"Dead? Nonsense! I know you, my Leliana; I know what you are capable of. Four, five men you can dispatch easily. They were sent to give you cause to come to me, and see? Here you are!"

Elissa was getting angry, I could see it. "You could have just sent her a letter," she said dryly.

"Ignore her. She's lying," said Leliana. "I know how she works. What are you up to, Marjolaine? Why are you in Ferelden?"

And suddenly all the fake sweetness was gone from Marjolaine's voice. "You have knowledge that you can use against me. For my own safety, I cannot let you be. Did you think I did not know where you were? Did you think I would not watch my Leliana?" she asked coolly. "'What is she up to?' I wondered. 'What is she doing?' The quiet life, the peasant clothes, hair ragged and messy like a boy's - I thought, this is not her. So I watched. But no letters were sent, no messages, you barely spoke to anyone." She folded her arms. "Very clever, Leliana. You almost had me fooled. And then suddenly you left the Chantry. What was I supposed to think?"

"You think I left because of you?" Leliana looked stunned, and I really couldn't blame her. I've never known someone whose ego was so out of proportion, and I've known a lot of egotistical bastards.

"Leliana left the Chantry to help fight the Blight," said Elissa. "It's got nothing to do with you. The darkspawn are her concern now."

"Is that what you think? You wait. You look at her, you see a sweet girl who needs a protector and a friend. She will use you, turn on you."

"I am not like that," Leliana said hotly. "I am not like you."

"Oh, but my Leliana... you are me." Marjolaine, for all her beauty, had one ugly smirk.

"She is not," Elissa said shortly. "I believe in Leliana."

"Thank you."

"I will give you one chance," Elissa continued. "Leave. Get out of Ferelden. Never come back. Stay away from my friend."

They stared each other down for a long moment. Finally, Marjolaine nodded. "I will go... for now. But this is not over, Leliana. This is not over."

Only when her former friend had left the premises did Leliana break down, dropping to her knees and shaking. "Come on, Leli," Elissa said gently, trying to help her stand. "Let's go back to the tavern. You're safe now. It's all right." And we all walked out together. There was a small greyish dog sitting just outside the door; it cocked its head at us as we passed. I don't know why, but it felt familiar to me somehow.

Elissa and Leliana have been alone in Leliana's room ever since we got back. I don't know what they're talking about, but it's not the first time that I've thought that we're all lucky to have that woman in our lives. She'll get Leliana through this.

The girls came to dinner. I think Leliana may have been crying; her eyes looked a little puffy. But she held her head up, spoke nicely to everyone, and honestly seemed more or less like her usual self. Even Morrigan was pleasant to her. Well, pleasant for Morrigan, which means that she pretty much ignored Leliana, but that's nicer than she usually is to me.

"She'll need a little time to get past it all," Elissa told me quietly. "But I think it will pass. More than anything, she needed reassurance that she isn't like Marjolaine. I told her that her past isn't what defines her, it's what she chooses to make herself from this day forward. She's stronger than she realizes - she would have to be to have lived through so much."

"Did she tell you about... the torture?"

She nodded, eyes closed. "Don't ask. You don't want to know. I don't want to know, even though I already do."

"So, now that our most pressing task in Denerim is concluded," said Zevran, trying to sound jovial, "what shall we do tomorrow?"

"I think," said Morrigan, "that Elissa and Alistair might want to examine a notice I saw posted near the Alienage. 'Tis most intriguing - a rallying cry for supporters of the Grey Wardens."

"Supporters of the Grey Wardens?" I repeated. "You mean we have some? Present company aside, I mean."

"I thought t'was rather peculiar, myself," she admitted. "Those who would show their allegiance to your order are advised to visit the Pearl."

"What's the Pearl?" asked Elissa.

Zevran coughed. "This city boasts one of the most famous brothels outside of Antiva," he said. "They say whatever you desire, you can find it at the Pearl. I have heard of it, but never seen for myself - though I have seen the Blooming Rose in Kirkwall, which I am given to understand is comparable in, ah, scope."

"Oh, dear." Wynne looked torn between amusement and distaste.