Chapter 7

About two and a half months later… The end of July, Tampa, Florida.

"Claire when you finish that customer why don't you go ahead and take your break?"

Claire turned briefly to look at her manager and then back to the customer in front of her. "Sure thing Sadie, are you sure there's nothing else I need to do before I take my break?"

"Positive," Sadie James said cheerfully before walking away.

"Here you go sir, four dollars and sixty two cents is your change. Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow." After the regular walked away Claire turned and took off her khaki colored apron and sat it on the counter in the back room. She fixed herself a caramel flavored cappuccino and grabbed a banana nut muffin and her book bag before heading to a corner table in the café. She had started taking two on campus classes in addition to her online courses and was two months ahead of where she should have been. The teachers were all impressed with her desire to learn and at the way that she did it so quickly. If only they knew how many years she'd dreamed of going to school, maybe they would understand her love of learning.

Ten minutes into her break she heard a voice above her asking "Is this seat taken?"

Only slightly irritated at the interruption in her studying she glanced up to see that the café was full and her table had the only available seat to be found. "No, go on and have a seat." Claire smiled warmly and then went back to her book.

"What are you studying?"

"Um this is just my pre-requisites for my marketing degree. Nothing major yet, but I'm getting there."

"I have a degree in marketing. I don't use it now but I have it to fall back on if I need it I guess. You work here right?"

Why was this guy talking to her? Why was she talking back to encourage the conversation, that was the better question. He seemed nice enough, but then again so had Logan. Her mother said that she had to stop assuming every guy was a monster in waiting, but she didn't do that. She merely chose to keep her distance from them.

"Yeah, I do part time. I'm usually just here on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday since I have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"I thought I'd seen you around a time or two." Wiping his hand on a napkin he extended it across the table to her. "I'm sorry, I'm Matt, and you are…"

She smiled against her will as she shook his hand. "Claire, I'm Claire," she said.

"Nice to meet you Claire," he said with a radiant smile.

Glancing at her watch she gathered her books and stood. "It was nice to meet you too, but work is calling."

With a wave she walked back behind the counter and sighed. He was a nice guy but what did she know about him really. Nothing that was what, a big fat nothing and she didn't like not knowing when it came to people. Lost in her thoughts she was startled when Sadie came up behind her.

"Matt's a great guy huh? He's been a regular here for at least a year. Always so polite and charming, and he has the girls falling all over him but he doesn't seem to notice it."

"He was really nice, but I'm not interested at all," Claire said as she turned back to the counter to start wiping it down.

For the next three weeks Matt happened to come in right about the time that Sadie would send Claire on her lunch break and they got in the habit of sharing a table and chatting. Every so often he would help Claire out with some of her school work, but they mainly just talked. He told her about his family and she talked about her dad, something that she hadn't talked about with anyone since he had passed away. She didn't share anything about her life before Florida or her marriage other than the fact that she was divorced with no children. He told her that he had never been married but that he had recently broken off his last relationship just a few months ago.

"So Claire I've been thinking a lot, and it seems like you've not taken the time to really get to know anyone since you've moved here."

Matt was walking with her down the sidewalk outside of the café after she had gotten off of work. It was a sunny and hot Friday afternoon, with a small breeze coming in from the ocean three blocks over. Claire had walked to work that morning, as she did most mornings, and now that she was off she felt no rush to hurry home. "No I haven't really. I'm good by myself I guess."

"Come on, we all need someone to talk to every now and then. Do you ever get lonely or just wish you had someone to talk about your day with?"

"I have you to talk to Matt."

"You know what I mean."

They had found their way to the beach and took a seat on the sand, watching kids playing, and the parents chasing after run away sand pails or shovels. Claire felt her heart tug at a far away memory watching the happy families on the beach and she pushed it away before it could show in her eyes. She ran her fingers through the sand scribbling odd pictures in the white canvas.

"Why don't you come with me to see a movie? We could grab dinner before and just relax." Matt watched her intently waiting on her answer. He thought that she was more complex than she seemed on the surface, of course so was he. He really hoped she would say yes to his invitation, but he had a nagging feeling that whatever he didn't know about her would make her say no.

Shielding her eyes against the afternoon sun she turned in his direction. "Matt, I can't, I'm sorry. I just don't think it would be a good idea at all. I think you are a wonderful guy and I love talking to you, but I'm not ready for a date yet. I wouldn't want to lead you on or anything."

He laughed softly, staring at her freckled face. "Maybe we should talk more about us first, so that I'm not leading you on either. Claire, I see you as being a terrific friend, one who I go to dinner and movies with, play pool and drink a good beer with even, but I don't see you as anything more than that."

Claire wasn't sure why but she was oddly offended and hurt. Logan's words haunted her mind, "I told you that no one would want you Claire, I was right, as always." Pushing his voice out of her mind she stared at Matt.

"Wait, if you're not interested in me at all then why would you ask me to go out with you in the first place?"

"Claire," he said taking her hand in his, "I see you and I having a wonderful friendship but you are just not my type. Even if you were I don't think that I'm ready to date again yet. Since my boyfriend and I broke up I just haven't thought about any one else in that way."

"So you still haven't answered me about why you asked me out then… Wait, your boyfriend? So you're telling me that…"

"Yes, Claire, I'm gay. I don't tell many people at all, in fact only three or four really know. It's not that I'm ashamed or anything but in my line of work it just isn't something that you want out there."

Claire didn't know what to say to that. It was all new territory for her, knowing someone who was gay. It wasn't that she was sheltered, just that while she had been married to Logan she hadn't been allowed friends or the luxury to go out anywhere and meet people. "Wow, I really don't know what to say. I would have never known at all." Suddenly she had the urge to tell him all about Logan and her past. If he could be so open with her then surely she could return that favor to him. "Matt, why don't you come to my place and I'll cook dinner and we can find a movie on the TV to watch, and then we can talk some more. You'd be the first person I'd have over, so we could have that cold beer too."

Smiling he stood and brushed the sand off of his camouflaged cargo shorts before reaching his hand out to help her up. "Sounds great, what time should I be there?"

"Why don't you come on over now, seeing as how we are almost there anyway," Claire said. "I just live right up the beach. Seven houses down that way," she said pointing down the shore line.

"Then lets go," he said smiling as he reached out and took her hand in his casually. She let him hold her hand as they walked, not feeling anxious about it at all. She knew in her gut that he would end up being her best friend and that was a thought that she could live with.

Ten minutes later she was unlocking her back door and letting them into the kitchen of her home. "Do you want some tea right now, or a soda, I have both."

"Tea sounds great thanks," Matt said taking in the sunny room. "This place is beautiful. It's like you found a wonderfully happy medium between elegance and comfort with it. It's almost that shabby chic style but it's more somehow."

"Thank you, I think," Claire said laughing.

Taking the glass of tea from her Matt smiled. "I didn't mean it as a bad thing, so you're welcome. I really like it; it's so open and light. It's happy."

"It is that, more than you know. I can throw a pizza in the oven, or burgers and hot dogs on the grill, what do you think?"

"It's up to you, I'm a guy so I eat anything," Matt said with a chuckle.

"Let me go fire up the grill then. I will make you my famous mozzarella ranch burgers. I promise you that you won't be disappointed."

He followed her out onto the back patio and took a seat as she got the grill on and heating. "How do you ever go in from out here? It's a beautiful view and so peaceful."

Claire smiled at him and took a seat beside him. "I spend a lot of time out here. Well, here or on my balcony. It is definitely peaceful, and it makes your morning coffee taste even better. Come on back in the kitchen for now while I mix up the burgers and get them ready to cook. We'll come back out, maybe even picnic on the beach."

Back in the kitchen Claire mixed dry ranch packets into the hamburger meat and then added in handfuls of shredded mozzarella cheese, mixing it in as well. Washing her hands and drying them on a towel she invited Matt on a tour of her home. He was her first guest and she realized as she was showing him the place that she had been kind of lonely, wanting someone to talk to, to know what it was to have a friend. She was also certain by the time they returned to the kitchen that she had found a friend in Matt that would always be there by her side.

After the burgers were on the grill Claire ran back inside and grabbed a blanket and two bottles of water and two beers. Once the burgers were grilled to perfection she took them, while Matt took the blankets and drinks, and they headed to the beach, just a few yards away from her patio. Spreading out the blanket and sitting down the two took their first bites in silence. Claire looked at her friend to see what he thought of the burger.

"This is amazing. It has to be the most delicious thing that I have ever put into my mouth. You're a wonderful cook, well at least when it comes to burgers," he laughed.

"Thank you," Claire said as her cell phone rang. Looking at the screen and seeing her mother's number she held a finger up to Matt and said, "It's my mom, hang on one second." He nodded as she answered the phone.

"Hello honey, how are you?"

"I'm fine mom, just having a picnic on the beach with a new friend."

"Oh I'm sorry I won't keep you then, but I wanted to tell you so that you know, Logan was calling around looking for you. I refused to give him your new number and it didn't make him too happy, but I didn't care."

With a deep sigh Claire said, "Okay then, thank you for telling me. I will call you later tonight, or tomorrow morning when I get up."

"Alright Claire, and this new friend, is it a man? Is he nice?"

"Yes mom it is and yes he is, very nice. Don't go getting your hopes up though mom. I'm not interested in a relationship."

"I know that dear," her mother sounded disappointed. "I just hope that you don't forget how to love. Then Logan will have truly won. At least your out and making friends, that's important. I love you; now go enjoy your meal."

Matt noticed how the shadows crept into Claire's eyes during her conversation with her mom and he couldn't help but wonder about it. When she hung up he asked, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, mom just wanted to let me know about a call she had gotten earlier. It's nothing really."

"Okay then," he said. "So tell me Claire how long was you married?"

This was a topic that she knew would eventually come up with someone, someday, but it was still not a talk that she looked forward to having. She reminded herself that only an hour or so before she had wanted to talk with him about this very thing. "Logan and I were together for twelve years and married nine of those. We were high school sweethearts."

"So, what happened? What made high school sweethearts go sour?" He watched her face and saw shadows creeping in and thought that maybe he shouldn't have asked. "You know what, forget I asked about that. It's not my business at all, and you don't have to talk about it."

Shaking her head Claire looked out over the sand and sea and then back at Matt. What was that saying; all the good ones were either taken or gay? She had a feeling that Matt was a good one, and he was definitely handsome. He would be a great catch for someone one day. "Actually I want to. My mom's the only one who knows the story, well aside from my lawyer, and it's time I learn to trust people again."

"As long as you know that you never have to tell me anything that you don't want to."

"It's okay; really I want to tell you. Of course it might be too much for you seeing as how we haven't been friends very long. I just want you to know. That way you can understand me, who I am, why I'm here."

Matt reached over and touched her hand, a gesture that actually touched her heart. "I just told you that I'm gay, and you're worried that you might lay too much on me? I'm listening."

With a deep breath Claire looked to the horizon as she began to talk. "Logan and I met in high school. I guess it was your typical romance. He was starting quarterback and I was a cheerleader. When he graduated he was accepted to LSU and I still had a year of school left, but we stayed together the entire time. We married not long after I was out of school and I never went to college. Within months of getting married he was signed to a multi year contract with the New Orleans Saints and I guess college just got lost in the deal for me. Not long into the first year that he was pro our relationship started to change. He would criticize what I wore or things that I cooked, or said. Just little things, putting me down, making me feel not good enough."

Matt was silent, waiting for her to go on. "After a year or so he started to abuse me physically and it just got worse from there. It seemed like every beating was worse than the one before it and it was always my fault somehow. I lost contact with all my friends; I guess that was his way of making sure that I had no one to tell me that I needed to get out. It went on up until I left him the week of the Super Bowl. It was the first time I had attempted to leave and it was the last time. I never went back, never had the urge to go back to that."

"Wow, Claire I'm so sorry that you went through that. I see now why you are so strong though. What was that final straw that made you say you had to go?"

With a deep breath Claire lay back on the blanket and said, "I was pregnant. Then I messed up breakfast. This is my lasting reminder of why I will never go back." Claire lifted her shirt and exposed her flat stomach, tan and smooth except for the slightly raised scar that wasn't quite as tanned as the rest of her was.

Without thinking Matt reached out to touch the scar. "He burned you? What kind of person does this to someone? Claire, I can't tell you how sorry I am. I'm so glad you left that. No one deserves the hell you went through. I can imagine he didn't take the divorce well."

"No he didn't at all. I had moved in with my mother then and one day two months after he was told I was leaving him he showed up and smashed in the back door of her house. I ended up in the hospital with a bruised lung, some bruised ribs, broken wrist, broken nose, and who knows what all else. He raped me, and in three more months I find out if I healed right on my own or if I'll need surgery to ever have kids. That sparked my lawyer to add a financial settlement to the divorce. I ended up with a million dollar settlement, and I get five grand deposited to my bank account monthly for the next five years, or until I remarry."

Matt let out a low whistle and lay back beside her. "Why work when you have that much in the bank? I think that guy needs to pay your way for awhile."

"I never wanted his money to begin with. All I wanted was to be divorced and to have my maiden name back again. I got that. I'll save the money for a rainy day, or to do something productive, helpful. I have my dreams, just putting them into action has me totally lost."

"What is it that you want to do?"

Looking out at the ocean Claire saw that the sun had started to set, melting into the horizon in pinks, purples, and oranges. "If we talk about it all now there won't be anything left to talk about. Do you want a ride back to the café?"

"I can walk, it's no problem. Thank you for inviting me over and for talking to me. You didn't have to do it. So, about that movie…"

"We will definitely have to see a movie sometime. And thank you for talking to me, well for confiding in me about you."

Matt helped her get the bottles and plates and the blanket back into her house and turned to go. "Matt, thank you. Thank you for being the first friend that I've had in nine years. I appreciate it."

"It's nothing really. I will see you soon Claire." With that he turned and left into the night.