WOW, had lots of feedback the last chapter! Thank you so much! This chapter is angsty - I know some of you miss the fluff but I want to move this along so . . . also I'm staying with the narrative format for this chapter instead of flashbacks. MAJOR stuff in this one - I appreciate your feedback, thank you all for reading!
Chapter 20
Belle awoke the next morning and looked over at the clock – to her surprise, it was almost noon. She yawned and stretched a bit, surprised at how late she had slept. She and Gold were up quite late talking. They began their conversation in Bae's room, and later moved to the bedroom where he continued to tell her about his unfortunate past with Regina Mills.
Gold told her about the day that he went to pick up Bae from school, and he wasn't there. He spoke of how panicked he was and how worried he was that Regina may have taken him. His worry ended up being for naught; there was simply a miscommunication between himself and Mrs. Potts, and she had gone to retrieve the boy thinking that it was her day to do so, as she had frequently helped Gold with his son.
After that day, Gold hired a private security guard to watch over Bae – better to be safe than sorry, he thought. He knew that Regina was planning something; he just didn't know what. He just knew that it was coming. He told Belle how he became nervous and paranoid at every turn. Which, in retrospect was exactly what Regina wanted. She wanted him to be a wreck over the prospect of losing his son – just as she was when Daniel's safety was in jeopardy.
The longer this went on, the less he could keep the situation under wraps from Milah, who was due for another week's visit in the spring. He would have to tell her about the security, and about the concern for the boy's safety. He knew that she would be angry, and blame him no doubt, but he expected her to comply.
What Gold didn't expect was for Milah to use this against him and file a petition for full custody of Bae. She had already lost custody and he was certain that she wouldn't want to go through that sort of thing again. But this time she was the one prepared. Gold's connection with Regina Mills, who at that point had become quite infamous in the world of organized crime, coupled with his paranoia and concern for Bae's safety was a detriment to his case. Milah ended up with primary physical custody, and Gold had visitation every other weekend. Their roles had reversed.
It was at this point in the story that Belle must have drifted off to sleep, because that was the last thing she remembered Gold telling her. Belle climbed out of bed and made her way out of the room. She peeked into the study and saw Gold sitting at his spinning wheel working.
"Hey." Gold said, looking up at her. "You slept quite late."
"Guess I was tired. Sorry I fell asleep on you last night." Belle said as she made her way to his side. She stood behind Gold and kissed him on the cheek.
"It's alright. Sorry I kept you up so late. I've only been up for about an hour and a half myself." Gold said.
"Not working today?" Belle asked.
"Just waiting. Gwen is in Boston staking out Regina's place. Once she has the mapping done she'll get it to me and we can figure out the best way in." Gold said.
"Isn't that dangerous?" Belle asked.
"We're spies, love. It's part of the job." Gold said. "Emma, understandably, wants to handle this one herself."
"I hope she gets her son back." Belle said.
"Yes, so do I. I'm quite fond of that lad. Henry's a good boy." Gold said. "Reminds me of my Bae sometimes." Belle gave him another quick kiss on the top of his head.
"I'm going to go get a shower and get lunch ready. Do you want today's usual?" Belle asked.
"How about you surprise me today." Gold said.
"Are you going to finish telling me about what happened with Bae?" Belle asked. Gold sighed and leaned against Belle.
"I suppose I have to." Gold said.
"Ian – whatever it is – it won't change anything." Belle said. She gave him a hug and left the room. Gold watched her as she left.
"Oh, but it will. It most definitely will." Gold said out loud to himself.
Regina Mills entered the young boy's room carrying a tray. "Guess what I have? Hot fudge sundae, your favorite." Regina said, setting the tray in front of him.
"Cool!" Henry said excitedly, and he reached for the sundae and started eating.
"You have your homework done?" Regina asked. Henry nodded. "Can I see it?" Regina asked as she sat down on the edge of his bed. Henry handed her some papers and Regina looked them over. "Looks good. Your mom's going to be very proud of you, Henry, how well you've kept up with your schoolwork."
"How much longer do I have to stay here?" Henry asked.
"I'm not sure." Regina said. "It's still not safe. Your mom will let me know when it's time."
"Are you gonna come with us? I mean – when it's safe. My mom will protect you." Henry said.
"We'll see." Regina told him. "I have an important meeting downstairs – I need you to stay up here tonight, okay? Why don't you get ready for bed, and I'll see you in the morning."
"Okay. Goodnight Regina." Henry said.
"Goodnight, Henry." Regina said, and she gave the boy a hug. Regina made her way downstairs – the man waiting in the living room paced nervously. He was tall with dark hair, stubble, and a brooding look about him.
"You're sure she didn't see me come in?" Jones asked.
"Please. If there's one thing I've learned in twenty years, it's how to outsmart a nosy agent." Regina said. "Don't worry, she's not going to report anything back to him."
"Good. Do you have my money?" Jones asked. Regina walked over to her desk and opened a drawer. She took out an envelope and handed it to Jones.
"You get the rest when it's done." Regina said. "She drives a yellow bug, she's always in and out of the property, she shouldn't be that hard to find."
"What are you going to tell the boy?" Jones asked.
"Well – he understands that his mother is in a – dangerous field. Accidents happen." Regina said.
"I thought all of this was to get to Gold. You weren't supposed to get attached to the lad." Jones said.
"You don't get paid to give your opinion. You get paid to do your job. So shut up and do your job, and actually do it right this time." Regina said.
"I want Ian Gold dead. You promised me THAT was the ultimate goal." Jones said.
"In time. Just be patient." Regina said. "Gold will get what's coming to him. And I'll get Henry. Everything will work out just the way it's supposed to."
"So – what happened next?" Belle asked as they made their way back up to the study after finishing lunch.
"I, um – I quit my job. I mean – at the agency. I wasn't going to be away from Bae, not with Milah carrying on with that degenerate pirate." Gold said, and they sat down on the sofa.
"He had a boat, that doesn't make him a pirate." Belle said.
"He had all sorts of illegal goings-on down at that shipyard, he's the very definition of a pirate, at least by modern standards." Gold said. "Anyhow, I moved back to Storybrooke. Went back into surveillance, got a place in town, had all of my equipment set up there. I saw Bae whenever I could and continued to try and find a way to get him back from Milah. He hated living with her. He didn't like Jones one bit. But apparently, Milah convinced some fool judge that I had used some sort of CIA brainwashing tactic to poison him against her, and she needed time to help him adjust."
"Is there such a thing?" Belle asked.
"Can't tell you that, love. But if there were, I certainly wouldn't do that to my own child. Bae saw Milah for what she was – she couldn't stand that. She got it in her head that a vacation with the boy would be good for them. Jones had suggested the get on his boat and set said for Ireland. As if I would let that happen." Gold said. "I didn't give a damn what the courts said – there was no way in hell I was letting that woman and her lover run off with my son. I was going to do whatever it took to see to it that would never happen. So I -"
Gold stopped himself, his voice trembling.
"Ian – you can tell me." Belle said, taking his hand. Gold pulled away from her – he got up and walked over to the place where he hid his alcohol. "Ian, please – you promised no more of that, no more drinking." Gold opened the hidden compartment – it was empty.
"Dammit!" Gold screaming, slamming it shut. Belle stood up and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him.
"I think Gwen got rid of it all." Belle said. "Come on – sit down. You need to tell me this." Belle took his hand and led him back to the sofa. Gold didn't look at her.
"Belle, if I tell you this, you'll never look at me the same again. You'll see what I monster I am." Gold said.
"Ian – you have to tell me. If we're going to have any kind of future together then whatever this is – I need to know." Belle said. Gold sighed.
"There was this little weasel of a man that worked at the shipyard with Jones. His name was William Smee. Grifter, con man, he'd sell his own mother for the right price. And he – like many people – never much cared for Milah. I heard through local gossip that he'd been wanting to make a move away from Storybrooke but he was strapped for cash. So I – offered him a deal. I'd give him a one-way ticket to wherever he liked and enough money to set up a new life for himself – if he'd do me one favor. Milah went to that foul shipyard every day at the same time to visit Jones. All that Smee had to do was – Belle please don't make me tell you this." Gold said, his voice trembling once again.
"Ian – it's alright. I'm right here." Belle said, squeezing his hand.
"I had to get rid of her, Belle. It was the only way I was going to have Bae, if she was gone. Jones had plenty of enemies, and if it happened at his shipyard then he would certainly be blamed." Gold paused for a moment. "It was just a little device Smee had to place in her car, that's all."
"Ian – you didn't -" Belle began.
"I don't know what I was thinking, Belle. Between my paranoia over Regina and everything with Bae I just – I think I started losing my mind a bit at that point, I just wanted her gone. I wasn't thinking clearly, I was sloppy about it. It was a – it was a cowardly thing to do. And Bae was supposed to be home. He never went with her to the shipyard, she didn't want him there when she was with Jones." Belle began to cry as she listened to him. "He wasn't supposed to be there, Belle. It was just supposed to be Milah – she would get in the car, and the device would go off, and Bae wasn't supposed to be with her." Gold began to sob as Belle took him into her arms. "He's gone, Belle. My boy, my beautiful boy, he's gone and it's all my fault." Belle was quiet for several minutes; she simply held Gold close and rocked him in her arms. After about five minutes went by, Belle let him go. She cupped his chin in her hand and he looked up at her.
"How can you even look at me after what I just told you?" Gold asked.
"Because I think – I think if Bae were here – he'd forgive you. Given the circumstance, and all that Milah put you through - how could I not do the same?" Belle said. "Now you just need to find a way to forgive yourself. You've punished yourself for twenty years. That's long enough."
"I don't deserve you." Gold said.
"Doesn't matter – you still have me." Belle said, and she hugged him tightly.
"There's more, Belle. There's more you need to know about me - after it happened." Gold said. Belle put her fingers up to his lips.
"You've told me enough today. We can finish later. If that was the worst of it, which I think it was – as long as you're honest with me – we'll be fine." Belle said. "I do think that – you need to find another – professional to talk to. But we'll worry about that later, as long as you promise me you'll do that." Gold nodded in agreement. "Do you know what would be nice? How about we go for a ride tonight?"
"A ride? Belle, we can't go for a ride, you can't go out there." Gold said.
"Just around the block, it'll be good for you." Belle said.
"You're trying to distract me so that I stop thinking about what I just told you." Gold said.
"You got that, did you?" Belle said.
"I'm a CIA agent love, you'll have to try harder to get anything past me." Gold said. "Belle, I haven't been in a car in nearly twenty years. I wouldn't even know how to drive one of these newer models."
"I'll drive." Belle said.
"How do you not – need time to process all of this? Belle, I killed my ex-wife – deliberately. Most women find out their boyfriend did a thing like that and they run screaming out the door." Gold said.
"Well, as I've said before – I'm not most women. And to be honest – I've suspected it was something like that ever since you told me there was an accident and that you blamed yourself. You're not the only one who picks up on things." Belle said.
"After all that I've told you – after everything you've learned about me, after everything I've done – why haven't you given up on me?" Gold asked.
"Well, I learned a long time ago – when you find something that's worth fighting for – you never give up. You're worth fighting for." Belle said, and she touched his cheek gently.
"Regina once told me that my biggest mistake in life was the fact that I didn't wait for my true love. She was always waxing poetic about Daniel, how he was her entire world and she would be lost without him, and she told me that my true love was still out there somewhere. I scoffed at the idea – it was nothing but a ridiculous fairy tale as far as I was concerned. But I think I understand now – because I look at you and I think, if I ever lost you, I'd become as mad as she did. I can't even fathom not having you in my life. I'd be lost without you, Belle." Gold said.
"I'm not going anywhere. Except for a ride around the block with you." Belle said, smiling at him.
"Alright." Gold said. "I just need to let security know so that they can follow us."
"Follow you where?" Emma asked, entering the room from the hidden door.
"We're going for a ride around the block." Belle said.
"With him? How drunk are you gonna get him to make him do that?" Emma asked.
"I haven't had a drink in some time, Miss Swan, nor do I intend to, because I have no need for it. I have Belle." Gold said. Emma rolled her eyes.
"Spare me the sappy, romantic crap. You're not going anywhere. Gwen just called me, she's got the specs, she needs us to be online with her in thirty minutes." Emma said. "If all goes well – I'll have my son back in a matter of days."
"Well, we don't need that much time, come on Belle, let's go." Gold said, and he stood up and took her hand. Emma sighed.
"I'm going with you." Emma said.
"You can follow behind in your car, we want privacy." Gold said.
"For what? I've seen you have panic attacks before, this one should be a doozy, I don't want to miss it." Emma said.
"He won't have a panic attack, he'll be fine." Belle insisted. "Ian has been working very hard on his – issues. He wants to have a life after all of this is over, this is just another small step toward that."
"Alright, fine. I'll follow behind you." Emma said, grumbling as she walked away.
Belle and Gold drove down the long driveway, with Emma following closely behind. When they reached the gate, Belle stopped the car. "You alright?" Belle asked, taking his hand.
"Yeah. We're not going far, right?" Gold said, still sounding a bit nervous.
"Not far at all." Belle said. "You're doing so well. You're going to be alright. When all of this is over – you're going to be alright." Belle reached over and kissed him. Emma honked her car horn at them. They pulled away from one another and laughed a bit.
"She's not a big fan of romance." Gold said.
"I think once she has her boy back, we need to find someone for her." Belle said. "If you found someone, there certainly has to be a true love out there for Emma Swan."
"If anyone can find him, I'm sure it'll be you." Gold said. Emma honked her car horn at them again. "You do know that she has a gun on her, right? You'd better go or she just might use it." Belle laughed a bit, and she reached for the remote to open the gate. As soon as the gate opened, she put the car in drive. It sputtered for a moment, then stopped altogether.
"Oh, come on!" Belle said. She tried to start the car again, but it wouldn't budge. Belle sighed. She got of the car, and Emma did the same.
"Well, there's a sign, this was a stupid idea, get in my car and I'll drive you back up to the house." Emma said.
"Well, we can still go for a ride, we'll just use your car." Belle said.
"MY car? I'm not chauffeuring the two of you around." Emma said.
"You don't have to chauffer us, I can drive it, it's just around the block." Belle said. "You can sit in the back. Emma, please – Ian has had a very rough day, he needs this. He's getting better and little things like this may not seem like much to you but they are helping and it's all I can do for him right now until this whole mess is over. I know you have your issues with him but please just let him have this." Emma sighed in disgust.
"Fine. Down the street, make a u-turn, and back, that's IT." Emma said. Belle smiled at her. "Get him out of the car, I'll pull out to the curb." Belle walked over to Ian's side of the car and opened the door.
"We're going in Emma's car, come on." Belle said.
"Belle, I really think we should just go back, I'm getting nervous." Gold said.
"You're fine." Belle said, taking his hand and helping him out of the car. "We've gotten this far, right? And we're not even going round the block, just up the road and back. Come on." Gold reluctantly followed her. Emma had already climbed into the back seat of the little yellow bug as Gold and Belle walked toward it. "You ready?" Belle asked.
"No." Gold said.
"You're alright. Nothing to be afraid of." Belle said. She pulled Gold into a hug, her back facing the street. Neither of them noticed the car coming down the road, nor did they notice it slowing down as it approached. They didn't notice until they heard the gunshot, and Belle collapsed in Gold's arms.