Standing in the middle of the room, Abby grinned proudly at her completed task. The walls looked luminous in their new greenish-blue color and she took a deep breath in. She'd always loved the smell of fresh paint.
Her bangs stuck to her moist forehead and she used her forearm to keep them out of her eyes, reminding herself that she'd have to visit the salon soon to get her ends trimmed.
Susan emerged from the door with her yoga mat under her arm "Nice job!", she nodded at Abby with an appreciative smile. She stood before Abby looking around, her left hand rubbing circles on her growing stomach "I love this color".
Abby rested her cheek on her shoulder, her hand joining Susan's on her rounded belly "How was yoga class?", she asked before planting a kiss on Susan's clavicle.
She wrinkled her nose and deadpanned "I couldn't really focus with junior here kicking my bladder like there's no tomorrow...".
Abby chuckled against her torso and Susan could feel her rubbing herself against her and she knew what she wanted "Hey missy... you're all sweaty, get off me...", she chastised demurely.
Abby gave her a sexy wink "Wanna get sweaty with me?" and proceeded to take a lick at her earlobe and Susan's resolve wavered a little, even though she wasn't feeling her sexiest at 30 weeks pregnant.
"I have my granny underwear on...", Susan whined but not really stopping Abby from maneuvering her towards their bedroom.
"I'm a sucker for granny panties…", Abby gave her a lop-sided smile and gently arranged the pillows for her to lie down more comfortably.
She tried to resist Abby's advances but her hormones weren't helping. She pulled the hem of Abby's tank top and watched her back and shoulder muscles flex as she wiggled out of the shirt. Susan loved Abby's back and contemplated rolling over and taking control but her agility wasn't the same in her present state so she just let Abby pepper her with kisses and teasing touches. Susan sighed, her cheeks already flushed "I look like a beached whale…".
Abby chuckled and slipped a hand inside her yoga pants, squeezing between her legs with intent "I'll be the judge of that..." whilst keeping eye contact with her partner. She helped Susan out of her navy shirt and ogled at her enlarged chest, suddenly understanding men's weird fascination with breasts. She loved feeling their texture, their weight in her hands and she traced her tongue along the under curve of Susan left breast, knowing it was one of her weak points.
"Damn it, Abby…", Susan hissed and grabbed her lover's hair more forcefully loving the sensation of Abby's talented tongue on her nipples. Since getting pregnant her body seemed constantly alert and it didn't take much to flare her arousal. Abby knew that and kept giving her some of the best orgasms since they got together.
She knew where this would lead, Abby had that mischievous twinkle in her eye and she could see her trailing kisses down her belly, stopping at her belly button to whisper hello to their unborn son while her hands pulled down her pants and panties in a swift move.
Susan gasped when she felt the first swipe at her inner tight, she moaned when Abby's tongue contoured her labia and she swore when her lips closed around her clitoris and sucked.
Abby loved the intimacy of it, the taste, the sexy sounds she could elicit from her. She hooked her arms around each thigh to keep Susan from moving too much, she wanted her available to what she wanted to do to her.
She wanted her tongue to tell Susan's body what she couldn't find words for: the haunting certainty that there would be nobody else ever again.
When she felt Susan's pleasure erupting, she replaced her lips with her fingers and came closer to her woman in the throes of passion. It still fascinated her that she could pleasure her like this, so she kept digging her fingers in her moist and their lips met in a sloppy torrid kiss. Abby felt, rather than heard, Susan's moans reverberating in her mouth and she felt tears in her eyes when Susan's belly pulsed against her.
Her hand mapped Susan's skin and she marveled at the feeling of their son so close to them. In just a few weeks they both would be taking a baby boy home and the prospect both thrilled and terrified her.
When Susan regained energy to open her eyes and look at her with so much love and intensity in them, Abby stopped inches away from her and smiled, her hand still on her belly, "I'll do anything for this baby… I promise you".
When she opened her eyes and saw Susan's eyes glaring at her, their usual jade-ish green so dark, Abby saw that Susan knew.
She noticed Mark wasn't in the nearby gurney "Where's…" but was immediately interrupted "He's upstairs".
She wasn't used to see no expression in her partner's face and it unsettled her. "I'm so sorry, baby…", she whispered and Susan stood from the nearby stool, braced herself on the gurney rails and exploded in her face "Just shut the fuck up! I don't want to even hear your voice!", she seethed.
Susan pinched the bridge of her nose trying to calm herself. She remembered where she was and regained control of her emotions "You're being discharged in an hour. I'm going to make a few phone calls and we're going home and we're going to talk", she declared.
Abby couldn't control the flow of her tears and just nodded.
The ride back home was awkward, Susan was clearly driving above the speed limit and Abby kept looking at her own hands. She felt unclean in her stained clothes from the day before, her hair was damp from sweat and blood and she felt gross, overall.
Abby knew she was in the doghouse but was still upset that Susan made her leave the hospital without seeing the boys "Was Joe extubated yet?", she asked meekly.
Susan didn't feel like chitchatting but knew that Abby was worried about them too. "He's fine. He's being released tomorrow and Mark wanted to stay with him. Corazon's there, too".
Abby nodded but was uncomfortable that Susan didn't even ask her anything. It was not how they handled things.
When they got home, Abby noticed her travel trolley by the door and felt anxiety rushing through her system. She could use a drink right now.
Susan took an envelope from her purse and threw it on the sofa, she gestured at Abby to sit down. "I don't think there's a point in beating around the bush anymore so let's deal with this", she looked Abby in the eyes.
"I will never forgive you for driving my kids around while drunk", she stated and Abby's eyes blinked back tears as she listened.
"I'd forgive you the lying, the going behind my back and disappearing for hours doing God knows what with God knows who… I'm a big girl and I can handle it", Susan ran a hand through her hair and Abby could see her eyes sparkling with tears.
Susan's voice was hoarse and she cleared her throat "You just put an element of doubt in my mind that was never there. You promised me you'd take care of them, that you would do anything for them! The thing is, I don't trust you anymore".
Abby felt like a rug was swept from under her feet and chose carefully her next words "They're my sons, too".
Susan couldn't be possibly suggesting what she was thinking.
Susan rested her elbows on her knees and nodded slowly at Abby's words. "I knew you were depressed and that you were in a dark place… I tried to pull you out that darkness… I should have tried harder", she admitted and Abby shook her head.
"No, no… you did all you could, you were so patient with me… I'm the one who messed this up", Abby was trying to make eye contact but Susan's eyes were so cold.
"The thing is… If you were a patient at the hospital with the same symptoms and an addiction past it wouldn't take me more than two seconds to put two and two together… But it never even crossed my mind that you were drinking again. I should've caught it and I failed you as a partner", Susan whispered.
Abby started to protest but Susan raised her hand to let her continue "I want to hate you because I am so hurt and angry at you… but I can't… so there it is…", she placed the envelope on the coffee table near them.
"It's voluntary. It's a rehabilitation clinic in Phoenix that specializes in treating medical personnel with addiction". Abby kept shaking her head at Susan's crazy words "Susan, I'm not going to rehab in the middle of the desert!".
"The chief of staff used to work with me in Scottsdale and he's willing to be very discreet. It's a 90 days program and after that you'll be able to work again...".
Abby interrupted her in shock "Wait, what? You reported me to the board?!".
"Not yet. But I will if I have to. If you go, I'll handle things with Kerry, make sure you don't lose any priviledges", she reassured her.
Susan said carefully "I'm not forcing you. It's your call. But if you don't go, I want you to know that I won't pick up the pieces. I won't be your enabler. You'll leave this house and I'll fight you for custody of Joe and Mark. And you know I'll win".
Susan's words felt alien to her own ears. She never imagined she would say them to Abby, her best friend, her partner, her wife she had married just last year in Paris. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks and used the side of her hand to wipe them away.
Abby stared into space and asked "Where do we stand in all this?".
Susan shrugged her shoulders "Honestly, I don't know anything anymore. I am so angry at you, it's better if we take some time off...".
She faced Abby again "You'll have to make a decision quickly, the flight's booked for tomorrow morning at 6".
Staring into her empty hands, Abby never felt more powerless. Deep inside she'd known she would get caught, that Susan would eventually find out.
It was her problem if she screwed up her liver, her health or her career. But not her family. She knew Susan would be a lioness if anything threatened them.
She just never thought she would be the one to jeopardise them in such a sloppy way.
She hated herself for being so weak and knew she might never mend fences with the woman she so deeply loved but she had to try to get better for the sake of their children. She looked at Susan, the one that was handing her both penitence and absolution, and spoke the only words she could.
"I'll do it".