3.
Mikasa remembered the first time she had really, truly hoped for something. Holding her son, she had realized that some things were just too peaceful and sacred to just brush off as bad luck, and this was one of them.
She'd gone through hell those first few years, always questioning her decision, and wondering if her heart was really in it. Levi had always told her to just go with it, and gazing into his calm face, she had always complied.
But that had been before the accident.
It had been after they had finally married, seventeen years seemed so long ago now, when it happened. Two months after she had tearfully shared the news that she was pregnant, that they were going to be parents, that Levi, you're going to be a father, Erwin had sent him to his death, leaving her and their child alone. And her soul had ripped in half.
She had wanted to end it then. If she couldn't have Levi, then no one could, not even their child. Eren had had to hide all of the blades in their quarters, Armin had to set up a nightly watch over her, Jean and the rest of their squad had to always be on their guard, even off duty, so that she wouldn't dare to try. Six months she had wallowed and shriveled into a shell, the burden weighing heavily on her shoulders, the burden she chose to carry.
And then, and then, he had arrived. Her son, Levi's son, had burst into this world, and the first time she held him, the ache Levi's death had left her suddenly dissipated, like it was thin smoke. Like it had never been there in the first place.
And as the years passed, she had felt her heart slowly fill with strength again. Because he was almost there, reflected in his son. Every time she saw his face, heard his voice, noticed his mannerisms, she had to fight her pounding heart, and push down those feelings of longing. But she was comforted by her son, because even though he wasn't Levi, he lifted her failing hope, showing her that beautiful things could spring from tragic ones, and that though the world was a terrible, cruel place, it was also unpredictable and harmonious.
She would always miss him. And even if their son had to grow up without a father, she would never trade this life for one cut short without him. He was now Humanity's Strongest, taking after his strong father and bringing hope to the citizens within the Walls.
Perhaps it had been Levi's time. Her mother had always told her that the brightest flower always wilted the quickest, no matter how well you kept it trimmed and watered. So perhaps Levi had been called back, and had sent his son to replace him. At least that's how Mikasa thought of it; for as long as she had known him, Levi had never left her, and he had promised he never would.
Hope was possibly the greatest double-edged sword she had known. Sometimes it gave false feelings to those unlucky ones, but sometimes it held great power, with the strength of a thousand men. Hope was fickle, just like her cousin Fate, and she blessed only those who were willing to sacrifice all. And Mikasa felt she was indeed worthy of Hope's fatal kiss. She'd had nothing else to offer.
She would make it through this life, however long she had left of it, and though unknowing, her son would help her with it too.
Levi already had. And she prayed for the day she'd be reunited with him. She knew it was coming soon.