Beta-Read by: gkmoberg1

Afraid by The Neighborhood

Being me can only mean

Feeling scared to breathe

If you leave me I'll be afraid of everything

That makes me anxious, gives me patience, calms me down

Lets me face this, let me sleep, and when I wake up

Let me be

Chapter 4

Winnow lay on her stomach in bed, her legs lazily kicking in the air. Cato lay on his back next to her, his hands folded beneath his head. She had put her nightgown back on, but Cato was still as naked as the day he was born- laying proudly on display next to her. "Well, that was diverting..." Winnow said softly.

Cato turned his head to look at the young woman next to him, reaching a hand out to her and dragging his fingers through her dark hair. He smirked. "I would like to think it was more than diverting, Four," he commented.

Winnow rolled her eyes and let out a snicker. "I'm sure you would," she retorted.

Cato glared at her for a moment before glancing up to the ceiling. "Have you thought at all about joining the Careers?" he asked.

She raised an eyebrow at him - not that he was paying attention. "It's only been a few hours since I realized it was an option, Two,"

Cato looked at her crossly. "You haven't decided?" he questioned incredulously.

Winnow shrugged her shoulders. "Did you think sex would change my mind?" She questioned seriously in response. Cato didn't look at her. She started to laugh. "Oh my god. You did,"

Cato growled at her. "Why do you want me so much? You don't even know that I'm good at anything." Winnow asked him.

He shrugged. "I can feel it. You're dangerous. Maybe you wouldn't be, if you hadn't been reaped. But the moment you were…that changed. I watched your Reaping, I saw the look in your eyes. You would do anything to survive. Even kill," Cato explained.

Winnow simply stared at him. "Is that what you think?"

Cato's brows furrowed. "Is that not true?" he questioned in response.

Winnow rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. "I'm not sure I want to win," she confessed.

Cato looked at her like she was insane. And maybe she was. "What are you talking about?" he demanded.

Winnow shrugged. "I'm not sure I want to win," She repeated. "Nothing will ever be the same if I did win. I would have no-one to share it with," Winnow continued.

Cato looked back to the ceiling. The thought was a sobering one. "I've never thought about what would happen after I won…Well, I'd be a hero, of course. I'd be living in the Victor's Village with the others, living the high life,"

"Sounds like you've thought about it plenty," Winnow sniped. Cato turned a glare on her.

"You didn't let me finish!" he snapped. She gestured for him to go on. Cato sighed. "Like I was trying to say...There's that part- the fame, the glory, the riches…But what about the other stuff?" He suggested.

"I didn't think Careers thought about anything but the glory," Winnow remarked with a snort.

Cato rolled his eyes, smacking her on the arm lightly. "Shut up," he ordered Winnow. He shifted and rolled over so that he lay between her legs.

She raised an eyebrow at him, stifling a groan as he rocked his arousal against her core. "We may have fun until the Games begin… don't you dare think for a minute that I'll have sex with you in front of the cameras," Winnow informed him.

Cato nodded in agreement. "Wouldn't want them to think you have any sway over me," he said, punctuating his words with the swiveling of his hips.

She nodded quickly, her fingers gripping his hips tightly. "And I won't have them think me some pathetic slut…paying you to keep me alive by spreading my legs for you," Winnow added.

Cato agreed with her again. "A week of fun. And then it's all business,"

Winnow nodded resolutely. "One week," She repeated.

Winnow woke late in the morning. She turned onto her side and found the other side of the bed empty and cold; and wondered at that for just a moment. Then she remembered sending Cato on his way not long after they'd agreed their little, torrid 'affair' would last only till the Games began. When all bets were off.

She was personally very confused how the District 2 Tribute had been able to make his way into the District 4 section of the train without detection. It seemed foolish. He could have killed her. Though, Winnow mused, there would be no point in it. She didn't think a tribute had ever died before the Games had started, though she supposed that the tribute would merely be replaced by another.

Winnow closed her eyes and rested her head back onto her pillow. Why bother waking? They weren't due to arrive at the Capitol till that evening. But as soon as her eyes became heavy and her mind hazy with sleep, there came a knock at the door. She groaned loudly, and punched the pillow.

And then the door slid open. "Winnow, my dear!"Pyrrhus Reed's shrill voice invaded the peace of her room. "It's far past time to wake up! I've let you sleep long enough, it's time to wake up and do something productive!" She decided not to give any sign she had heard him, just in case he might give up and leave. But then she felt a warm hand on her upper back. "Winnow, darling, please get up and into the shower. The day awaits you! As does Finnick, who is waiting to speak with you," Pyrrhus gently requested.

Winnow groaned again, and turned her face so she could look at her district Escort with sleepy eyes. "What does he want?" She probed with a hoarse voice.

Pyrrhus smiled at her softly, his ridiculously tan features crinkling in ways that Winnow knew would probably horrify him. "I don't know, darling. I don't do 'mentor-speak', I do the 'sponsor-speak' and taking care of my tributes," he answered her honestly. "Now get up and greet the day!" he harped, reaching out and pinching her cheek. "Up and at 'em!"

Winnow couldn't help but groan again, but slowly got up. "I'll lay out something for you to wear," Pyrrhus told her, lightly propelling the sleepy teenager towards the bathroom with a hand on her back.

"I can pick out my own clothing, Pyrrhus," Winnow grumbled, pressing the button to open the bathroom door.

"Oh, I know you can, darling, but Finnick & Mags want your appearance to make a certain statement when the Capitol Citizens see you. That, my dear, is my job," Pyrrhus assured her.

Winnow merely shook her head and sighed. "As you will," She muttered, stepping into the bathroom.

"That's the spirit, darling!" The District 4 Escort twittered as the door closed them off from each other.

Once she was alone, Winnow hung her head and sighed again. Since she had figured out the shower's controls the night before, Winnow as able to take a shower much more efficiently- though she took plenty of time under the warm spray anyway.

When she emerged from the bathroom, there was a flowing white dress laid out on the bed. With one hand keeping the towel wrapped around her closed, she gently touched the fabric of the dress- Cotton - finally something she was used to dealing with.

Without ceremony, Winnow dropped her towel and put on the flowing garment carefully. It was of the ancient Grecian style, something she thought was called a toga- though it only reached her knees. A hammered gold band around her neck held the thin fabric up. At the foot of the bed, there was a pair of gladiator sandals. She sat on the bed to put those on, taking plenty of time to secure all the buckles.

Next to her on the bed were two more gold bands like the first; clinking as Winnow picked them up, her brows furrowed in confusion as to where to put them or what to do with them in general. She stood and glanced up; catching sight of herself in the mirror.

The thin fabric that was barely secure in place gave Winnow a delicate, womanly look; while her muscular arms and shoulders made her look powerful at the same time. Her bronzed skin clashing against the pure whiteness of her dress made her glow,

Winnow held onto the two hammered gold bands as she left her rooms. She headed for the Dining Car, finding only Pyrrhus leisurely eating there. "Pyrrhus, what am I supposed to do with these?" Winnow asked, holding out the two bands.

He grinned at her, running a hand through his flame colored hair as he sprang up from his seat, crossing the room quickly. Pyrrhus took the bands and clasped them around Winnow's biceps. "There, darling, you're perfect," he said, tucking a lock of her glossy hair behind her ear. "Now, come eat," Pyrrhus ordered, putting an arm around her and guiding her to the table.

"Where's everyone else?" Winnow wondered, seeing that there was no breakfast food on the table. There were only sandwiches and lighter fare - which she honestly preferred.

"Mags and Finnick are talking strategy with Kai in the parlor. And, darling, it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Everyone's eaten both breakfast and lunch. I, for one, cannot stop snacking! And when I'm eating something delicious, I have the best ideas for helping my lovely tributes!" Pyrrhus eagerly explained to her, tapping her lightly on the nose.

Winnow couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the embarrassingly happy man.

"Pyrrhus," she said quietly, drawing the older man's attention. His eyebrows crinkled, but he obligingly looked at her expectantly. She paused for a moment, considering her next words carefully. "You know that most of us don't volunteer for this. That we don't want this, right? To go into the Games and be forced to either kill or be killed?"

Pyrrhus Reed's easy smile immediately fell. He looked away from her, his hands nervously smoothing out the tablecloth in front of him. "Of course I do, Winnow. And I hate it, you should know that. You and Kai should know that," he murmured, not glancing up to see her look of shock. "I get close to my tributes. I take care of them like they were my own children- which, I am too young for, by the way! But I digress…I get close to my tributes, and then I watch them die or I see them come out tortured by their own minds," Pyrrhus uttered, finally glancing up at Winnow.

"Then why are you always so happy about everything?" She couldn't help but ask.

Pyrrhus sighed. "There are two reasons for that. One, I don't know how else to cope. If I pretend everything's happy and wonderful, I can believe it- in that moment." He started.

"And the second reason?" Winnow prompted.

"Because I'd lose my job. I love it and I hate it at the same time, darling," he told her, covering her hand with his. "I would lose my job and I wouldn't be able to even try and help my tributes. Someone would replace me who most likely wouldn't care even half as much as I do about you, Kai, and any other tributes," Pyrrhus whispered to her.

Winnow stared at him, her pale blue eyes wide with shock. The man's lower lip was trembling; and his own blue eyes were getting all teary. "Pyrrhus," she breathed. "I think I have to hug you,"

Pyrrhus Reed nodded eagerly, his lower lip jutting out further. "I would like that very much," he said gracefully, even as his voice trembled. Winnow took a deep breath and put her arms around her District Escort- a vapid, flamboyant man who she had just realized actually cared about her. And not just as a source of entertainment or income.

It brought Winnow Fontanne to the earth-shattering conclusion that not all Capitolians were as selfish and barbaric as she'd thought. Her lip curled in distaste as she realized that she could no longer judge them without giving them a chance.

A/N: Thanks for the Review, Guys?! Keep it up! It's so much easier to write when you know someone is reading; and appreciating your hard work. THanks again to gkmoberg1 for beta-reading! :)

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Revised 7/30/14.