Twenty-two

"Oh hey," Castle smiled when his partner entered the bullpen just before lunch. "You talk to Lanie?"

Kate nodded. "Nothing new, really. The vic died between midnight and one a.m. and didn't have any defensive wounds, so she probably knew her attacker."

"Ah!" Castle held up an index finger and pulled a small notepad from the breast pocket of his blazer. "On that note—I think I have our first lead. According to Caitlyn's coworkers she had a boyfriend who was a little…rough around the edges, shall we say? They said Caitlyn always complained about him being out of work and a little mean with her, but she didn't express any desires to leave him until recently when, as she explained, he picked up his drug habit again."

Kate fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Sounds like a winner. Did you get a name?"

"From her coworkers? No, but after perusing her Facebook I think I have a pretty good idea. Turner Rutherford—I was just about to run his name right now," Castle explained. Kate nodded and walked around behind her partner so she could view his screen as he searched their database for criminal history.

"Wow," they exclaimed in unison when the many varied mug shots of Turner Rutherford appeared on his screen.

"Well, this suspect just became a little more suspect, didn't he?" Castle added.

As is turned out, Rutherford had over a dozen prior arrests, most of them for drug possession, but one of them was for aggravated assault. "Sounds like we need to pay Mr. Rutherford a visit," Kate concluded once they'd reviewed his rap sheet.

Castle turned with his eyebrows up. "We? You'll let me come with you?"

"In the passenger seat," she said, for the first time since their fight feeling a bit of the playfulness of their partnership return—even if it was short lived. Castle nodded with agreement, grabbed his jacket and followed her to the elevator.

"Ohh now here's a shocker: the tweaked out addict lives in a sketchy building," Castle proclaimed when they pulled up in front of Rutherford's residence.

Kate "hmm-ed" under her breath as she observed the building. "What did Caitlyn see in this guy, anyway?" she asked more to herself than anything.

"Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants."

Kate shot her wise-sounding partner a look before getting out of the car. She was going to let his comment wrought with double meaning slide as she needed to keep her wits about her. One thing was certain about buildings filled with drug addicts: cops made them jumpy and she needed to keep her head in the game.

On the second floor, they found Rutherford's residence; the door was cracked open. Kate pulled her weapon from its holster and nodded to her partner to do the same. He took his stance on the opposite side of the door from her and nodded when he was ready. Kate nudged the door open with her elbow and entered, gun first. "Turner Rutherford? NYPD—we'd like to ask you some questions."

Kate's initial reaction upon seeing the apartment was revulsion. Filth and trash covered every surface. Fortunately, the smell wasn't that bad (she had certainly smelled worse), but the appearance was quite disgusting.

With Castle behind her, she tip-toed her way to the kitchen area and checked behind the cabinets. "Clear," she told him quietly.

Castle nodded towards a half open door across the room and Kate bobbed her head in confirmation. Weapon at the ready, she made her way across the room. "Mr. Rutherford? Are you in there? We just-"

Kate's soft voice was interrupted by a primal yell as the bedroom door burst open and a fully nude, filth-covered man burst out. He ran directly into Kate, knocking her to the ground. She landed hard, the air pushed from her lungs and her gun tossed aside.

The man, it appeared, was too dazed or drugged to realize he had run into another person, he merely staggered to his feet, grunting and grumbling. Across the room, Castle was able to fully take in the scene. Once he saw his partner was unarmed, he turned his eyes to the suspect and spotted the glint of metal clutched in his right hand. "Knife!" he announced.

Alerted to Castle's presence by the sound of his voice, the suspect hoisted the weapon and charged towards Castle. In the tight space, the detective was unable to react and thus tackled to the ground by the crazed man. Kate scrambled to her feet and searched for her gun. It had, unfortunately skidded beneath some garbage and was thus not directly in her sight. She searched as quickly and carefully as she could just in case the mountains of debris contained needles or other dangerous items.

"Kate!"

"Oh god, Castle." The strained cry of her partner fueled her search and Kate spotted the muzzle of her weapon sticking out from under a pizza box. She griped it and turned it on the two wrestling men before shouting, "Drop your weapon! Drop it now!"

"Shoot him, Kate! Shoot hi-AHH!" Castle screamed when the suspect's knife penetrated his flesh. Not a second later, two gunshots were heard and the nude man dropped to the ground beside Castle. The detective attempted to push himself away from the body, but found he could not do so without great pain in his right arm. "Ahh! Fuck!"

"Oh god, Castle!" Kate cried out, hurrying across the room and practically leaping over the assailant's body. She put her fingers against his neck, but found no pulse. Turning her eyes to her partner, she felt a fresh onslaught of horror when she spotted the knife imbedded in his shoulder. "I'm so sorry! I was afraid I'd hit you if I shot him." She had hesitated out of fear she would hit her partner in the scuffle and chaos. Her hesitation, of course, was well within protocol, but as a result Castle had been injured and she blamed herself for it.

"'s okay," he grunted tensing his right arm against his side. "Just a flesh wound."

"No its not!" Kate insisted. With trembling hands, she pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed into dispatch, reporting to them there was an officer in need of assistance at their address. She requested medical response as well as the coroner. With the call made, she focused back on her wounded colleague.

She searched the surrounding area for something to press against his wound, but nothing in the vicinity seemed remotely clean enough, so she decided her hand would have to suffice. Being mindful of the blade, she pressed her fingertips against the wound; Castle screamed out a curse.

"I'm sorry," she repeated again, using her other hand to gently touch his shoulder.

"'s okay. It doesn't hurt that ba-AH!" he yelped when he tried to adjust his position.

"Try not to move," she told him gently. Then, noticing his paling complexion, her heart wrenched in her chest. "Oh Castle. I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologizing; you didn't stab me."

"No, about last night," she said. He turned his eyes to her, curious. "What I said last night….I…I didn't mean it."

"I know," he said gently. "It's okay."

"No it's not!" She insisted. "You were right—I was scared. I got scared and I said things I didn't mean…things I shouldn't have said."

He grimaced as a sharp tremor of pain shot through his arm. With a deep breath and a suppressed wince he asked, "You mean you don't want a new partner?"

Tearfully, she shook her head. How could she have been so stupid! Worse than stupid. The prior night, she'd let her fear, her anxiety take over. But watching Castle lie on the ground bleeding from his arm cleared her vision. Loud in her mind she heard Lanie's query from earlier that day. What if she lost Castle entirely from her life? How would she feel then? Devastated; she would be devastated. She only wished her partner had not had to actually be injured for her to see the truth.

"No, I don't want a new partner; how could I? You're…you're not just a partner—you're everything."

From the tone of her voice and the look in her eye Castle knew she meant it; every word. Though it pained him greatly, he leaned his head into hers until their noses bumped together. Just before their lips touched, they were interrupted by the thudding of footsteps.

"NYPD! Get your hands—oh…"

"McCreary?!" Kate proclaimed, pulling her head immediately away from Castle's face. She gaped up at their comrade from the twelfth. "How the hell did you get here this fast?"

"I was interviewing a suspect in the neighborhood when I heard the radio call. Jesus," he said, observing the body and surrounding debris. "What the hell happened here?"

"He came at us with a knife," Castle explained then nodded his chin towards his right shoulder. "Obviously."

Seeing the wound, McCreary cringed. "Well, hang in there; ambulance is on its way."

Fortunately for Castle, his wound was superficial. The blade had not damaged any tendons or ligaments; only soft tissue had been hit. Due to the fact that the injury was on his dominant side, Castle's arm was put in a sling and he was told to rest for a week. After the wound was cleaned, stitched and bandaged, he was released into the care of his partner, who had hovered around him ever since he entered the hospital doors. While they were waiting to see the doctor, she called Montgomery to inform him of the situation. He told her that her paperwork could be done the following day; taking care of her partner should be her priority for that evening.

"Well," Castle began as they drove to Kate's apartment. By sheer luck, Alexis had gone home with a friend to sleep overnight, and thus they could save her from the knowledge of her father's on the job injury—at least for that night. "If I had to get stabbed by a guy, at least it was the guy who killed our vic; we don't have to keep searching."

While they were waiting for the ambulance to arrive, McCreary found blood soaked clothes and another knife tucked under the suspect's bed. Testing at the scene revealed the same blood type as their victim and the CSU techs were reasonably confident further testing would provide a DNA match, thus closing their case.

"Well, I wish you hadn't been stabbed at all," Kate pointed out.

"Me too," he reminded her, skimming his left hand gingerly over his right arm. When he reached the shoulder, he winced. In the hospital, they had offered to give him some of what he deemed "the good drugs" (aka heavy duty painkillers) but he refused, instead only accepting the slightly higher dosage of the over the counter pain relievers. He was a man, he explained; he could tough it out.

Kate eyed him sideways. "You should have taken the Vicodin."

"Kate I'm fine," he assured her. "It only hurts when I move it. Or touch it. Or if the car moves it."

Kate suppressed the urge to roll he eyes. Oh he was a man alright—a complaining man.

After letting them both into her apartment, Kate excused herself to her bedroom to change. Between his blood and the general dirt within the suspect's apartment, she was filthy. Dressed in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, she returned to the kitchen to find Castle standing beside her dining room table.

Damn. She had forgotten about the makeshift murder board for her mother's case that she had created there. Oh well, she decided. He could look at it and she wouldn't chastise him for being curious—particularly not after he'd been stabbed.

Softly, she padded up behind him. When she was only a few inches away, she saw he held in his hand a picture: one of the many crime scene photos of her mother. That particular one was of Johanna's full body, slumped against a dumpster. Though blood covered her chest, her eyes were closed and her face relaxed; she could have been sleeping.

Castle turned his head towards her when he sensed her presence. He suspected for quite some time she had been investigating. The state her dining room was in confirmed it. "You know," he began gently. "We could work on this together. I'm not saying we have to, but it's a thought. Two heads are better than one, right?"

She didn't say anything, which he viewed as neither a negative nor a positive. Trying not to move his right shoulder to excess, he leaned over and put the photo back where he had found it. Then, he rotated his body towards hers. "Judging by the fact that you haven't mauled me yet, you're considering this. I won't push; just take your time and think about it."

She nodded and said, "I will," and she truly meant it. Then, she offered him a half smile before gesturing towards the kitchen. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"As much as I'd like some, I don't think alcohol will mix with my meds so—water?"

She nodded, and retrieved two bottles before leading the way to the couch. She sat on his left side and picked up his hand with hers. "Castle, I'm so sorry about last night."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." They had a moment long stare off before she grumbled. "It's not—it's not ok. I'm being serious here."

He squeezed her hand. "I know."

She skimmed her nails across his fingertips as she tried to think of the words. The words she refused to acknowledge—the ones she never let herself think about, even if they were the truth. "It's just, when it came to relationships I just never let myself get involved for…well, a number of reasons I'm sure you don't want to hear about."

"No," he said instantly. "I do. Tell me, please."

She tucked her hair behind her ears with both hands before picking up his left one again. "I guess…I guess I subconsciously had this checklist of characteristics I wanted in a man and if I would find someone who didn't tick all the boxes then I just wrote him off without even giving him a chance. I was a little picky I guess."

"A little?" He arched an eyebrow at her.

She smiled slightly. "Very picky."

He let out a breathy laugh. "I don't imagine I check many of your boxes, do I Kate?"

She smiled big and wide, scooting herself a bit closer to his thigh. "No, see that's the thing—you do. These…these past eight months with you have been…unexpected." She laughed as she said the word; it seemed like a grand understatement. "But wonderful. In my head I always said I wanted someone who would make me laugh and make me smile and forget about all the dark things that happen to me day after day. When we first met I was too annoyed by you to let you do that for me."

"Thanks," he interjected with a grumble.

"But now…I can't imagine getting through any of this without you. So, ah," she paused to lace her fingers through his, "that's kind of my roundabout way of telling you: no, I haven't been with anyone else since we started sleeping together; I never even thought about it."

Relief and a sense of triumph flooded his body. He knew it—he just knew it! Despite the pain it caused him, he leaned over and kissed her gently. When their lips separated, their noses bumped together and they both smiled.

After just a moment, Kate's expression turned a bit more serious. "Listen, Castle I'm going to need us to take things slow here. With this whole relationship thing, I mean, because I want to do things right. It's…it's been a really long time since I had anything resembling a relationship let alone a family. Lanie's right—I'm totally commitment phobic," she confessed with a self-depreciating laugh.

"No you're not."

"I am!" She insisted. "That's why I refused to admit that we were in an actual relationship even when we were clearly in an actual relationship!"

Okay, she had a point there, but he still disagreed with her. "Well, that may be true, but actions speak louder than words, Kate. You wouldn't have taken my daughter ice skating, or spent that whole evening trying to recreate that Pinterest hairstyle if you were."

Kate's eyes widened at the mention of the night from two weeks earlier; she was still annoyed about it. "Okay that thing was impossible!" She claimed, stabbing a finger in his direction.

He chuckled. "I know; I remember."

As the amusement faded back into embarrassment, she shrugged and shrank away from him. "Still…I feel commitment phobic."

"Why?"

"Because…I was afraid of committing to a relationship or a family again after having it all blow up in my face. My dad and I…we've come a long way in the past few years, but it's still not the same. Even without his drinking I'm not sure it ever could have been without my mom. When she died, I closed myself off to all of that—love, family—but I don't want to live like that anymore." She leaned her head against his arm and took in a deep breath. "I just…I need to go slow because the last thing I'd want to do is hurt you. Or Alexis."

At the mention of his daughter, Castle's heart began to flutter. So she wasn't just worried about the two of them; she was thinking about the three of them. That made him love her even more. "Kate, about Alexis. I…I would never ask you to do anything you're not comfortable with. I mean…that whole first period incident aside."

She lifted her head to look at him. "Well technically you didn't ask me to do that…but no, it's fine. I know you wouldn't ask, but I want you to know that I really care about her. She's a great kid. I just wish I knew how that happened."

His eyes widened at her sly smile. "Hey!"

She giggled and pressed her lips against his. Then, skimming her fingertips up his arm she danced them across his neck before taking his earlobe between her fingers. "Do you think you're up for a little makeup sex? I don't want to hurt your shoulder…"

"Actually," he informed her. "I think makeup sex is one of the doctor recommended pain killing methods."

She bit her bottom lip to fight a laugh. "Is it?"

"Oh yes, it is." Their lips had barely touched when Castle's cell phone began ringing. He cursed immediately. "Damn it, I cannot catch a break today!"

As his cell phone was in his right pocket, Kate retrieved it for him and he pressed it to his ear. The call turned out to be from the mother of the girl Alexis intended on spending the night with. Evidently, the two teens had fought and Alexis had stormed out of the apartment before the mother realized. The mother told him she believed Alexis was on her way home, but she wanted to let him know what was going on.

Immediately after hanging up, Castle began to panic, but Kate managed to calm him down by telling him she would drive him home where, hopefully, they would find Alexis. If not, she would lead the search for the young girl as he wasn't exactly in a state to run around lower Manhattan searching for her. Fortunately, that was not needed. They only took three steps into Castle's apartment before sounds of crying were heard from Alexis's bedroom.

Kate and Castle found the red-head face down on her mattress, still in her school uniform. "Alexis, honey, what happened?" Castle asked from the doorway.

"Nothing," was her muffled response.

"It's not nothing if you left your friend's house. What's going on?"

"Nothing 'cept Ella's a bitch!"

"Excuse me young lady!" Castle boomed as Kate cringed. "We do not use words like that in this house."

Alexis whipped herself upright. "But she is, she—Dad!" she shrieked upon sight of her father—and his new sling—for the first time. "What happened to your arm?!"

"Never mind me; I'm fine," he promised her. "You, however, will not be if you use language like that again, is that understood?"

"Yes, Dad; sorry, Dad," Alexis mumbled, her eyes downcast.

Kate stepped around her fuming partner and crouched down beside the young girl's bed. "You wanna tell us what happened at Ella's house that made you so upset?"

"Nothing," Alexis muttered. "She was just mean to me…making fun of me…"

"I'm sorry to hear that," Kate told her, "but unfortunately sometimes that stuff happens. Sometimes, people who we think are our friends aren't nice to us anymore, but it's very important that, no matter what happens, you keep being nice to Ella. I know you might not want to, but that's what growing up is about; being the bigger person."

After her speech, Kate glanced back at her partner, who was giving her an enthusiastic thumbs up. It was all she could do not to laugh.

"I know," Alexis said after a moment. "I was just…just lookin' forward to the sleepover."

Kate rocked back on her heels and thought a moment. "Well, I'll tell ya what—why don't we have a sleepover? Assuming it's okay with your father."

When she looked back up at her partner, she saw he wore an unsure expression. As he gestured for her to do so, she stood and stepped out in the hall with him. "What about makeup sex?" he whispered to her.

"Really!?" she demanded of him. Honestly—that was his concern!? "First, you should be resting. Second, look how upset Alexis is; I'm just trying to make her feel better."

"But!"

"A few more hours won't kill you, Castle," she pointed out.

He sighed reluctantly. "I suppose you have a point; my arm does kinda hurt."

Kate gave him a pointed look before poking her head back into the girl's bedroom. "So whatdya say Alexis? Wanna have a sleepover with me?"

Alexis considered this for a moment. "Can we give each other manicures?"

"Sure." Kate laughed.

Alexis nodded. "Ok!"

Two hours later with lime green toenails and hot pink fingernails, Kate sat on the couch with Alexis as the credits of their movie began to roll. After much whining on his part, she finally convinced Castle to take one of his extra strength pain killers and go to bed. In the meantime, she and the teen snacked on popcorn, painted nails, and braided pigtails in each other's hair.

When Kate plucked the DVD from the player and put it back in the case, she heard from the couch a soft voice say, "Kate? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Well, uh," Alexis picked at a spare thread on her pajama pants as she asked, "how-how old were you when you had your first kiss?"

Ah, Kate thought to herself; the origins of the party fight were coming out. She walked back to the sofa, tucked one leg underneath her and sat back down. "Well, I think I was around your age; thirteen."

Alexis's gaze flicked momentarily towards Kate and then returned to her plaid pants. "Like, you had just turned thirteen or you were almost fourteen?"

Kate cleared her throat. "Alexis, is that why the girls were making fun of you tonight? Because you haven't kissed a boy?"

Reluctantly, the younger girl nodded.

"Well you know what? As far as I'm concerned that's none of their business. Who cares if you're twelve, thirteen or sixteen? It's your first kiss; not theirs. And, by the way, that goes for other firsts, too," she added pointedly. Alexis looked up at her, her whole face a fiery red. Feeling guilty, Kate quickly apologized. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"'s okay," she mumbled. "It's just…what if a boy never wants to kiss me?"

"Oh Alexis, I promise you that won't happen. You're a beautiful girl and boys will absolutely want to kiss you, just don't rush it okay, because, really, it doesn't matter when it happens." When the girl eyed her skeptically, she continued. "I'm serious, it won't. I know that stuff seems so important right now, but when you grow up and you meet the right person and fall in love you won't even think about things like that."

"Like with you and my dad?" Alexis asked in a small voice.

Kate nodded. "Exactly. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I thought about my first kiss and I probably wouldn't have thought about it if you hadn't asked."

Upon hearing this, the younger girl's gloomy expression brightened. "Thanks, Kate."

"Anytime," Kate smiled. "Is there anything else you want to ask me?"

Alexis shook her head. "No, I think I'm just gonna go read. You don't have to stay out here with me; you can go to bed with my dad."

"You sure?" Kate asked her. She had been fully prepared to sleep on the couch or the floor with Castle's daughter, as that was sleep-over protocol, but she couldn't say she was disappointed when Alexis relieved her of her prior commitment.

After giving Alexis a goodnight hug, Kate padded her way back to Castle's bedroom. When she passed Alexis's room she smiled inwardly; maybe this family thing wasn't going to be so hard after all.

Kate tip-toed her way into the bedroom and sat down as gingerly as she could, but she still managed to wake her partner. Before she fully lay down she heard his sleepy, "Kate? 'zat you?"

"Shh," she hushed him. "Go back to sleep."

"Is 'lexis okay?"

"Mmhmm, she's fine; I'll tell you about it tomorrow."

"'Kay," he mumbled shifting against the pillows. Thinking he was falling back to sleep, Kate settled herself on her side facing him. She shut her eyes and listened to the rhythmic sound of his breathing only to be interrupted a minute later. "Kate?"

"Hmm?"

"You're the best."

She let out a light laugh. "Goodnight, Castle."

A/N: short lived angst! :) Also an FYI - I'm going to visit my best friend this weekend so there will be no Saturday update. Next update will be Wednesday July 1

(omg how did it get to be July!?)