I know it's a short chapter guys but it's one of those that I can build off of, so stay tuned for more! It's just now getting good!

Chapt. 12

Matt had only seen Claire cry once in the whole time that he had known her. When she walked out of the building he was prepared for her to be upset but the silent tears that streaked her cheeks as she climbed into the car were more than he could take. He knew that tomorrow he would be the cause of those tears and the thought had him fighting his own tears. He pushed back the voice in his head urging him to just tell her now and spare her the hurt later, but he couldn't. Instead he reached out and took her hand in his. He didn't say anything; he just held her hand and waited on her to speak.

"Matt of all things for me to get for an internship, I had to get this! I can't do it. I just can't stand it, not with all of the violence in there. It's like a massive, never ending flashback for me." She wiped at her eyes and then turned to face him. "I know you had said we could go to dinner but do you think it would be okay to just grab some tacos and go home? Please?"

"Of course," he whispered, not trusting his own voice. He put the car in reverse and headed toward Taco Bell, then onto her home.

Pulling in the drive way after a silent car ride he walked around and opened her door for her and then followed her to the front door. Inside they sat on the couch watching P.S. I Love You on one of the movie channels and eating in more silence. Once Claire had finished her tacos she scooted herself closer to Matt and snuggled in close as he wrapped his arm around her.

"I love this movie, I always have. It reminds me of trips to Ireland that I've taken over the years. It's so beautiful there. Have you ever been?"

"Once or twice but it was always for business, never pleasure. That kind of puts a kink in the sight seeing and such. But it was beautiful, what I saw anyway."

"We should go one day, you and me. Just pack up and go for a week, or two, or a month. My grandparents still own a house over there so we could stay there and save money. I could show you all my favorite places to go there."

Hugging her close Matt said, "I guess we have to see what the futures got in store. If work and school and life will allow us to go then I'm up for it." He was quiet a full minute before he said, "Claire, do you want to talk about tonight?"

Claire was silent for so long that Matt was sure that she wasn't going to say anything about the night at all, and when she finally spoke it was so soft he leaned closer to hear her. "Matt, it was like one big flashback for me. Maybe flashbacks the wrong word really. I was watching others living out the life I had once had, only they were doing it willingly. I don't understand how anyone can want to get the hell beat out of them on a regular basis that way."

Matt just held her, not knowing what to say. He knew that it was more than that, more than a nightly ass kicking, but he knew that there was no way to explain that to Claire. He really could see where she was coming from, but as much as he saw that he also saw that she wasn't ready to hear his words. "What all happened Claire?"

"When the owner, director, whatever he was, said that it was sports entertainment I felt sick. Just his mention of the word sports still makes my blood run cold. I thought that maybe since he'd said entertainment though that it wouldn't be so bad. Then he took me to this huge arena type room with a boxing ring set up and told me that was where they wrestled. I had never even heard of wrestling Matt, not till he said it. All at once I felt stupid but then I remembered that you can't really know about something if you're not shown it, or exposed to it in some way. I've always been swamped in football. I cheered football and basketball seasons since I was six. Hell, my family had no television until I was eighteen. There was no way that I could be exposed to wrestling, and why on earth would I have watched it anyway?"

"No TV till you was eighteen huh? That must have been odd, hearing people talk about what they had been watching and you didn't even have a TV."

"I didn't mind really. I always had better grades than those people and I knew the value of a good book. My parents were both raised in Ireland and had no televisions there, so they knew ways to entertain with a blaring square to help. I enjoyed the peace of not having one actually. I rarely watch it at all now even."

"So tonight was really hard on you I take it. I'm so sorry for that Claire. I really am."

"It's not your fault Matt; it's not like you knew what I was walking into. I just really don't know if I can do this. It's so hard to watch. If I hadn't have been in the relationship I was in then maybe it would be easier but I was. This is everything that I never wanted. All these guys, and girls even, are submerging themselves in so much hate and violence. Mr. Keirn assured me that it was all a carefully choreographed show and that no one was truly being hurt but that really doesn't matter. It's the idea of it all."

"So why don't you talk to Mr. Keirn and just explain to him where you've came from and see if there's any way that maybe you could just stay in the back or maybe even work with the employees off the premises. I'm sure that he's a pretty understanding man and would be happy to work with you."

Claire looked up at Matt and grinned. "Why didn't I think of that? It's worth a shot I guess. Maybe I can do that tomorrow." Claire felt the weight on her shoulders lighten and she grinned wider. "Matt, you know what? You are the best friend that I've waited for all this time. Hell you're the man I've waited for, only your gay. Why can't all guys be like you? Sweet, caring, great listeners, calm, funny, serious, and open, what don't you have going for you? It's times like this that I am sad that you don't want a woman in your life. I love you, ya know. As my friend, I love you."

"I love you too Claire, but we all have our faults, even if you don't see them. I'm far from great." He leaned down to kiss her forehead and smiled. "It's been a big night; maybe you should get some sleep. You have another big day ahead of you tomorrow."

Walking him to the door Claire hugged him tightly once again. "Thank you again, for getting it. Whatever it is, you do get it. It means so much to me. Maybe tomorrow we can get together, lunch or a late dinner when I get out of my own personal hell."

"Sounds good," he said. A quick kiss and he was gone.

Upstairs Claire called her mother to fill her in on the week that she'd had before turning out all of her lights and going to bed. Nightmares crept into her mind as she slept, causing her to toss and turn relentlessly all night long. Across town Matt wasn't sleeping at all.