I'm back! My surgery recovery has been much more difficult than anticipated but I am up to writing a little bit a day now. Thank you all for your patience with me - hope it was worth the wait! Grateful for all of your kind feedback!

Chapter 26

Emma entered Henry's bedroom – it was filled with toys and games and everything a ten-year-old boy would want. Regina followed behind Emma.

"Did you finish, Henry?" Regina asked.

"Yup." Henry said proudly, and he handed a paper to Regina. She looked it over.

"Well, this looks good. Did you want to see it, Emma?" Regina asked. Emma took the paper from Regina.

"Good job, kid." Emma said, and she looked at Regina. "Can I have a minute with him alone? Before I go?" Regina grinned at her.

"Of course." Regina said, and she left the room. Emma sat down on the bed next to Henry.

"So Regina's been nice to you?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, she's really cool. We're still gonna get to see her, right mom? I mean, after everything is safe again." Henry asked.

"I don't know." Emma replied. "Henry – I have to go do something important. But I'll be back. Okay?" Emma hugged Henry, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and whispered something in his ear. "I love you, kid." Emma said.

"I love you too, mom." Henry said. Fighting back tears, Emma left the room. Regina was waiting outside the door.

"So – do we have a deal or not?" Regina asked.

"If anything happens to Henry -" Emma began.

"Henry will be fine. Just do what you were asked to do." Regina said.

"Why can't you just leave them alone? She's never done anything to you and he's suffered enough." Emma said.

"Not as far as I'm concerned, he hasn't." Regina said. "Tell me something – if someone took Henry away from you – permanently – would there ever be enough suffering for them?" Emma glared at Regina.

"No." she replied. "Don't forget that." Emma turned and walked away.

Emma arrived back home late that evening; Mrs. Potts was sitting in the living room studying some notes on her laptop. "Where's Henry?" Mrs. Potts asked, looking up at her.

"It's um – complicated." Emma said, sitting down across from her. "Is Gold okay?"

"He's sleeping. He's alright – for now." Mrs. Potts said.

"So you, um – you're really his mother?" Emma asked.

"I am." Mrs. Potts said.

"Does he know?" Emma asked.

"He does. He just knows not to say anything." Mrs. Potts said. "It's safer that way – for both of us. Please don't tell anyone else."

"I won't." Emma agreed. She paused for a moment. "How did you do it? How did you walk away from your kid?"

"I never walked away from Ian. I just – couldn't be with him for a long time. But I always looked out for him." Mrs. Potts said.

"You knew me when I was a kid then." Emma said.

"Yes I did. You were a shy, sweet little thing. Ian adored you. I think that's why Milah didn't want you around. Damn woman was jealous – she was jealous of you, and of Bailey, and even me for some ridiculous reason. She couldn't stand not being the center of the universe. I should have put a stop to that wedding when I had the chance. Ian deserved so much better – thank god he's found Belle, I wish he'd met her years ago."

"Yeah, she um – she seems like a nice person." Emma said.

"So what happened with Henry?" Mrs. Potts asked.

"He's safe. That's all you need to know." Emma said.

"I beg to differ. I've spent the past year working on this case with you and Ian, I want to know what's going on." Mrs. Potts said.

"Listen – you worry about your kid, and I'll worry about mine. I'm going to bed." Emma said, and she headed up the stairs. Mrs. Potts just sighed and shook her head.

"You may not be his biological daughter but you're just like him sometimes." she said to herself.

The next morning, Mrs. Potts entered Gold's bedroom shortly after ten in the morning. Gold was curled up under the covers staring off to the side blankly. "Good morning, dear." Mrs. Potts said as she set the tray that she was carrying down. She grabbed the covers and pulled them off of Gold. "I've got a nice breakfast here for you." Gold didn't respond. "You need to eat – now sit up." Mrs. Potts demanded, and Gold sat up in bed, still not saying a word. Mrs. Potts set the tray in front of him. "You finish your breakfast and then we'll call Belle."

"She doesn't want to talk to me." Gold said, slowly beginning to eat.

"And whose fault is that?" Mrs. Potts asked. "I told you the girl would have her limits." Mrs. Potts went over to the window and opened the curtains.

"Leave them closed." Gold demanded.

"No." Mrs. Potts said. "You need to let some light in. You want them closed? Do it yourself. I'm done coddling you." Mrs. Potts moved toward the door. "I think now would be a good time for you to seriously consider some of what we discussed for years." Mrs. Potts left the room. As soon as she closed the door, Gold looked down at his breakfast and began to sob.

Emma entered Belle's room. Mary Margaret was helping her brush her hair. "Hi. You busy?" Emma asked.

"Emma! Hi!" Belle said happily. "No, come on in. Emma, this is Mary Margaret, she's one of my therapists."

"Hi, nice to meet you." Mary Margaret said. "Emma – that's always been one of my favorite names, I always figured if I ever had a daughter that's what I'd name her."

"That's nice." Emma said, sitting down in a chair next to the bed.

"Well, I'll let you two visit. Nice meeting you." Mary Margaret said, and she left the room.

"Sorry I haven't been around – how are you?" Emma asked.

"Doing better. What's happening with your son? Did you find him?" Belle asked.

"I'm – really close to getting him back." Emma said.

"That's fantastic. Ian will be happy, he's so fond of both of you." Belle told her. "How is Ian? Is he alright?"

"I assume so, I didn't talk to him but Gwen seems to have things under control." Emma said.

"He usually comes by in the morning – I was a quite upset with him last night but I thought he'd be back." Belle said. "I started to call him, but – I think he needs to be the one to do that, right? I can't be enabling his behavior like that, he gets that enough from Mrs. Potts. Don't get me wrong, I adore her, but she constantly covers for him and I can't do that. I love him too much to do that."

"She has her reasons." Emma said. "You still think you and Gold have a future, huh?"

"I want to think that. That's really up to him, though. I'm not sure that he believes in our love as much as I do." Belle said. "You were right, Emma. I can't fix him. He has to want that for himself. I just think he's lived with so much guilt for so many years he doesn't know how to do that. Sometimes I wonder how different he would be if he hadn't – well, done what he did."

"Yeah, I um – I wouldn't wish that kind of guilt on anyone." Emma said.

The next day …..

Emma knocked on Gold's bedroom door. He hadn't come out of his room for almost two days. "Can I come in?" Emma asked, peeking inside.

"I suppose." Gold said. He was dressed in one of his suits but sitting up in bed staring at his computer.

"What are you doing?" Emma asked.

"Nothing." Gold said, quickly closing his computer. "Nothing that concerns you." Emma sat down in a chair across from the bed.

"So you gonna just sit up here and feel sorry for yourself?" Emma asked.

"What I do with my time is not your business, Miss Swan." Gold said. "What IS my business is Henry, and your obvious inability to retrieve him." Emma sighed.

"I saw him. I was with him for over an hour." Emma admitted.

"What? Then why in the bloody hell isn't he home where he belongs?" Gold asked.

"Because he – Regina has him thinking that she's – working with me and protecting him. Henry likes her. If I do anything to her – Henry will never forgive me."

"Well, I see that Regina is just as conniving as always." Gold said.

"I think she actually cares about him." Emma said. Gold chuckled a bit.

"Regina cares about Regina, dearie. That is the one thing about her that you can be certain of." Gold replied. Emma was quiet again for a moment.

"What were you gonna tell him?" She finally asked.

"Who?"

"Your son. If things hadn't – happened the way they did. How would your existence now be any different if he hadn't been with his mother?" Emma asked.

"I'd have my boy. That's how it would have been different." Gold said.

"You wouldn't have felt any guilt? At all?" Emma asked.

"Sometimes situations call for extreme measures. I did what I had to do." Gold said. "Why are you asking these things and don't tell me no reason, because no one asks questions for no reason."

"Why didn't you fight for me?" Emma asked, and Gold stared at her in disbelief. "You said you think of me as your daughter. So how could you just – send me away without even a second thought?"

"You don't know what she was like." Gold said, standing up. "She would have hurt you, Emma. I had to get you away from her."

"So why didn't you run? Take me and Bae and just go somewhere?"

"If it were that simple don't you think I would have done it?" Gold asked angrily. "It may not seem like I did right by you, I understand that – but there are things you don't know and if you did – you'd be grateful to me. Trust me. Parents do things to protect their children that don't always seem like the best choice they could make. But often, the worst choice really is the best thing."

"Maybe it is. Thanks – I think I know what I need to do." Emma said, and she stood up to leave the room, then stopped momentarily. "You really should go see Belle. Maybe this is one wrong you can make right for a change."

The next day …..

Late in the evening, Gold peeked into Belle's room quietly; she was sitting up in bed reading her kindle. "Hey – can I come in?" Gold asked. Belle looked up at him.

"Alright." Belle said, and Gold entered the room and sat down in a chair next to her bed.

"Reading anything interesting?" Gold asked.

"Just a silly romance novel. If there were a movie of it, you'd probably fall asleep on it." Belle joked, and Gold smiled a bit.

"Been doing alright then?" Gold asked. Belle put the kindle aside.

"Much better. Not even taking the Vicodin anymore except at night to help me sleep if
I need it, just ibuprofen." Belle said.

"Well that's good." Gold told her.

"I get my stitches out in two days. Bit nervous about that – Mary Margaret said the exercises will get harder cause they'll want me to start moving my entire arm then." Belle said.

"Well, I'm sure you'll do fine." Gold said, then sat quietly for a moment. "I haven't had a drink since the other day, Belle. Poured out that scotch I bought." he finally said.

"Okay." Belle said quietly.

"Belle, I'm sorry. I really am sorry."

"Yes, you told me that already." Belle said, and she paused for a moment. "Ian, I was hurt and very scared those first few days. I was in pain, I was all drugged up, I couldn't even move without help, and the one thing I thought I could count on was you being there for me. I knew it was hard for you and I asked you, repeatedly, if everything was alright, and you said it was, but you lied to me. What if I really needed you one of those evenings, what would have happened? You'd have been passed out drunk, you wouldn't have been able to do a damn thing. I asked you to talk to me, to tell me how you were handling things, because I knew you were having a hard time of it."

"Belle, you didn't need to hear my problems at that point. You didn't need to know those things." Gold said.

"Yes I did. I know I couldn't have done much, but – you could have at least talked to me." Belle told him. "I wouldn't have judged you at all, you know that. All you've told me and I never once said a word – why would you think this situation would be any different?" Gold hesitated once again before speaking.

"After what happened to Bae, I – I don't really recall much about the months that followed. I was – in a bit of a fog. A fugue state, they call it. You'd have to talk to Gwen, she was with me the whole time, she can explain it better. I had a mental breakdown, Belle. I didn't speak for months; she said it was all she could do to get me to eat or even get out of bed. The agency, they – they wanted to send me to an institution. Gwen wouldn't let them. She said she'd take care of me. She was already eligible for retirement from active duty, she'd put in over twenty-five years and – she took it. Said she'd work surveillance, so the agency set everything up in the house. Milah had left everything to Bae in her will and – well she had no other family, and I was his next of kin, so – I inherited the estate. The routines with the meals and the cleaning – that was all Gwen's idea. Get me into a routine to help me know what day it was. I responded eventually, and – well, she thought it would be good for me to get back to working, doing surveillance. Made me get dressed every day for work, very professional. That's when I started wearing the suits every day."

"After several months I started to snap out of it. I didn't remember what had happened at first. I kept asking for Bae and – Gwen had to tell me what had happened. It was another full month before I remembered that – it was all my fault." Gold said. "That's when the drinking started. I didn't drink all the time, just – when things got too stressful and too much to handle. That's when Gwen started to encourage me to start spinning again. It was a distraction – it helped me forget. I should have gotten help years ago, Belle. Gwen tried to get me to go into a treatment facility, but – I wouldn't do it. I just wasn't ready to face everything. And I'm still not sure I'm ready. Because I'm a coward, Belle. You were right about that. I am a coward." Belle took his hand.

"When you got shot, I – I didn't know how to handle it. So I just did what – what I always did when things were too much for me to cope with." Gold paused for another moment. "I um – there's a facility in DC, it's a rehab center that's private, and is only available exclusively to those who work for government security. Civilians don't even know it's there. They have limited room and a waiting list – and I put my name on it. They'll help me there with – well, with everything. The drinking, the anxiety, the agoraphobia, my anger management – they know how to deal with – well, people like me who have experienced what I have. I don't know when they'll have an opening for me – might be a few months. They assigned me a counselor here in Boston to work with until then. I have to see him twice a week until they're ready to admit me. It's a – it's a sixty-day intensive program. I just want you to know Belle that I'm not doing this for you, or for Gwen, or for anyone else but myself. I need to do this for myself. I need to get well – so that I can start living again. Because I've now realized that – I do want to live again. I really do."

"I'm glad. I want that for you as well." Belle said, smiling at him and squeezing his hand. "I'm very proud of you."

"Thank you." Gold whispered. "I should probably go, it's getting late. I'll – check on how you're doing in a few days after you get your stitches out." Belle gave him a puzzled look.

"Ian, are – are you breaking up with me?" Belle asked.

"I thought you broke up with me the other day. When you asked me to leave." Gold admitted. Belle giggled a bit.

"Ian, I asked you to leave because I was upset with you and if you were to stay I probably would have started shouting and saying things that I'd later regret and I didn't want that, I just wanted to calm down before we talked again." Belle told him.

"So you, um – you still want to be with me then?" Gold asked, stunned.

"Yes, of course I do. I love you." Belle said. Gold was silent and stunned. He sat there quietly for a moment, then reached out and touched her face.

"Oh, Belle. I love you so very much." he whispered, then moved in to kiss her. They kissed for several minutes, then finally pulled away from one another. "I don't know when I'm leaving for treatment, but – it's a very strict program. They only allow limited visitation and only on certain days. Will you come to see me then?"

"Of course I will." Belle said. "We're going to be alright, Ian. Both of us. No more secrets though, alright?"

"I promise." Gold said.

"So you really thought that I was leaving you?" Belle asked.

"Sorry, I um – well my only real experience with this sort of thing was with Milah and – with her, a dismissal usually resulted in her running off to shag some man behind my back." Gold told her.

"Well, I really can't go anywhere so I don't think that's an option. Although I believe Leroy was out there all night the past few days, I should have thought of that sooner." Belle teased.

"You're not funny." Gold said.

"Oh, don't worry about it, I'm not interested in Leroy. Besides – he's got this huge crush on one of the aides here, she just started interning, her name is Astrid. She's taken care of me a few times – I feel badly for the girl, she's very clumsy and a bit flighty but she means well, I'm just – not sure this is the right field for her to be in. Leroy is smitten with her, though – I'm going to see if I can do something about that." Belle said.

"First Nolan and your nurse and now this? You should become a professional matchmaker." Gold joked.

"That's not a bad idea – I found a match for you, and that was thought to be impossible." Belle said, smiling at him. "You know – you being such a difficult man to love and all. Will you, um – stay here tonight with me? I've missed you."

"Of course." Gold replied. Gold removed his jacket, tie and shoes as Belle carefully scooted over to the right on her bed. He reached over and turned off the light, then cautiously snuggled up with her.

"You been sleeping alright?" Belle asked.

"Sometimes. I think I'll be alright tonight, though." Gold said. "It'll be hard to be away from you for two months."

"Are you allowed to talk on the phone?" Belle asked.

"I believe so, but – again – very restrictive. You'll really wait for me, then?" Gold asked.

"Yes. I will." Belle said, as she sighed and closed her eyes. "Ian, I know that you made so many wrong choices all those years ago, and I'm not condoning them and I am so very sorry about what happened to your son, but – is it wrong of me to be glad to never have to meet your ex-wife? Because she sounds like an absolutely horrible person."

"You're entitled to feel whatever you like, love." Gold said, and he kissed her forehead. "Belle, there is – a bit more I haven't told you yet. It's about Milah's lover – Killian Jones." Belle sighed and yawned a bit.

"Tell me tomorrow. I'm tired." Belle said quietly.

"Alright. Goodnight, sweetheart." Gold whispered. She forgave him so many other things. He hoped she would forgive him this. Because of all of the terrible things he had done – this was the one thing he did not regret at all.

Regina answered the phone in her office. "Hello? No, she hasn't. Well what about your idiot friend Jones, he's been no help. Well, I'm sorry, I guess some women are immune to his charms, as hard as it for you to believe, I'm sure. I thought we were on the same side here. Alright then." Regina hung up the phone just as Henry entered the office.

"Was that my mom?" Henry asked as he entered the room.

"Um – yeah. She – she said to tell you that she loves you and she'll be back as soon as she can. Did you finish your homework for today?" Regina asked.

"Yeah. Can we go over it tomorrow, I just want to go to bed." Henry said.

"Henry, what's wrong? You're not feeling sick, are you?" Regina asked. She stood up, walked over to the boy and immediately felt his forehead.

"No, it's not that." Henry said.

"I know you miss your mom, Henry. But I promise you – everything will be okay. Your mom is in a pretty scary line of work and the most important thing to her is that you're safe. I don't want you to think that anything will ever happen to her, but if it does – you will always be safe with me." Regina said, and she hugged him tightly.

Henry went back into his room and closed the door. He then opened the closet door and Emma stepped out. "You were right. She's lying." Henry said, trying not to cry. "She was nice to me."

"Shhh. It's okay. We don't have much time – are you ready?" Emma asked as she hugged him.

"Yeah." Henry said.

"Okay. Let's go home." Emma said, and she and Henry both made their way to the window.

"Don't be upset, love. We'll get him." Jones said, and he wrapped his arms around a woman from behind her and pushed her long dark hair aside to nuzzle her neck. "I'll try again with the Lucas girl."

"I want you to watch out for Regina, too. We may have the same agenda – but I'm not sure I can trust her any longer. She's gotten too attached to that boy. We may have to get rid of her, too." the woman whispered as she turned to face him.

"Whatever you like, Milah." Jones replied, and he kissed her.