Shadow and Rose
by Lady Norbert
A/N: Alistair returns for your reading enjoyment. Welcome to all my new followers! I really did intend to have this finished by the time Inquisition was released, but it's been a rocky year in ways I won't even try to explain. On the plus side, I did complete my playthrough of Inquisition, and I'm glad I did because I can add more details to this story's later chapters that will enrich the setting. This first story will then be succeeded by a sequel, "Crown and Rose," which will cover the Awakening expansion. I already have quite a bit of that planned. Quite possibly I will be doing an Inquisition story set in the same continuity, but that won't be for quite some time.
I would like to clarify a recent review, in which the reader says I have not updated this story in two years. That is inaccurate. The story was first published in fall of 2012, meaning that's when it debuted on FFN, but it was updated back in June 2014. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get moving, but I had too many other things crop up which had to take precedence.
Chapter Thirty-Three: Ancient Map of the Imperium
An antique, wine-stained map showing the boundaries of the ancient Tevinter Imperium.
So the Landsmeet has Landsmet. It's over; the nobles are either returning themselves to their home regions, or else sending word for their troops to march to Redcliffe. But I'm getting ahead of myself, and I suppose I should explain everything in detail.
We decided it would be best to send a relatively small party to the castle, so Elissa and I were joined by Zevran and Sten. Apparently the rest of our companions held a discussion amongst themselves and they were elected. I don't know why, really, but it didn't honestly matter to me too much who came, as long as I had Elissa with me (though I was privately glad Morrigan wasn't coming along).
The Landsmeet convened in the throne room, which I hadn't seen since I was very small. I'd been there exactly once, because Eamon was invited for some ceremony for Cailan - his formal appointment as Crown Prince, or something like that - and he brought me along. At the time he said it was because he thought it would be educational, but I don't remember enough of it for it to have educated me too much. Maybe my father just wanted to see me. I can pretend he cared, right?
Anyway, we arrived and were met just outside by Ser Cauthrien. She was absolutely livid that Elissa had escaped her imprisonment, and tried to challenge her to battle for a second time. But Elissa wouldn't yield. Instead, she started pointing out all the terrible things Loghain has done, like selling the elves into slavery and condoning Howe's horror show in the basement, and the longer she went on, the more Cauthrien was left without anything to say in his defense. I kind of felt sorry for her, in a way; I don't and never will accept what Loghain did, but I think I can understand her position. She was loyal to a man who had always rewarded her loyalty, whatever his other faults. Finally she sank to one knee. "Save him, my lady," she begged, quietly. "Save him from himself."
I'm glossing over a lot of the details, because to be very honest, a lot of what happened was a complete blur. As we entered the throne room proper, Loghain and Eamon were in a terrific shouting match, with the other nobles occasionally interjecting and the grand cleric hovering in the background like she had a chance of stopping them if they decided to casually kill each other.
"You would put a puppet on the throne," said Loghain, meaning me, "and everyone here knows it. The better question is, who will pull the strings? Ah, and here we have the puppeteer herself!" he added, as he spotted Elissa. "Tell us, Warden, how will the Orlesians take our nation from us?" Maker, but his paranoia was galling!
She was so calm. You wouldn't in a million years have guessed that the fate of Ferelden - and me personally - was riding on every word that came out of her sweet little mouth. I heard one of the nobles say later that she was so clearly her father's daughter in that moment; apparently Teyrn Cousland was well known for maintaining a veneer of calm in difficult situations. "The Blight is the threat here - not Orlais," she reminded him.
"There are enough refugees in my bannorn now to make that abundantly clear," said Bann Elfstanna. She was up in the balcony with Eamon and a few others, a number of whom were nodding. I guess the refugees are all over the place. Another noble asked Loghain if he'd let the whole of the country collapse to the darkspawn out of his fear of Orlais.
Loghain conceded that the Blight is a problem, but then switched tactics, asking why the Grey Wardens were so necessary to stop it. He called us failures at Ostagar, neatly skirting the fact that he left the entire order to die. Elissa held her ground, pointing out the torture Howe inflicted on others (the father of that one young man said his son will never be fully healed), and again bringing up the selling of the Alienage elves to Tevinter slavers.
"Enough of this," said Loghain. "I have a question for you, Warden. What have you done with my daughter?"
Elissa looked mildly surprised at the question, but before she could answer it, a voice piped up from the doorway. "I believe I can speak for myself." Anora came sweeping forward, and Elissa gestured at her vaguely as if to say 'Here she is.' And of course Anora stuck by her father, telling everyone in the room that Elissa had slandered Loghain in her efforts to put an imposter (me) on my father's throne. She also called Elissa the true threat to Ferelden, which would have made me laugh if it hadn't made me so angry. There was a strange cackling sound at that, and we looked up to see a crow sitting on a windowsill, like it was watching the proceedings.
"Who here can say that Anora is not fit to rule this land?" Loghain added. "And who can say that this Alistair is? We know nothing of him, save that he may have royal blood." My father's best friend, ladies and gentlemen. He grandstanded for a few minutes longer, finally urging all the nobles to stand with him to defeat the Blight. I didn't know what to expect.
And then a voice came out of the balcony.
"The Warden! I'm with the Wardens!"
It was like a dam broke. "Waking Seas stands with the Grey Wardens!" "The Warden helped me personally in a family matter!" "Dragon's Peak supports the Warden!" Around and around the room. It wasn't quite unanimous - but it was so close that there could be no denying it. Elissa looked from one face to the next as though memorizing them, her expression almost serene.
"The Landsmeet is against you, Loghain," she said gently.
"Traitors!" he snarled. "Which of you stood against the Orlesian emperor when his troops flattened your fields and raped your wives? None of you deserve a say in what happens here!" Yes, the man was a hero once, but he wasn't that man anymore, and he was wild, almost insane. He turned on Elissa, with a few of his troops flanking him.
"Call off your men," she said, a little wary, "and we'll settle this honorably."
"Then let us end this!" Suddenly he just looked sort of... sad. "A man is made by the quality of his enemies. Maric told me that once," he said. "I wonder if it's more of a compliment to you or to me. Let the Landsmeet declare the terms of the duel."
A trial by combat was declared, and it was agreed that everyone present witnessing the traditional fight would abide by the result. In other words... whoever still lived at the end of it would win. Loghain nodded. "Will you face me yourself?" he asked Elissa. "Or have you a champion?"
She hesitated only slightly, and glanced at me. I thought I knew what she was thinking, so I nodded. "I will accept the challenge," she said, gravely, "but I would have Alistair stand as my champion."
"Gladly," I muttered. Facing Loghain myself and doing so on behalf of my lady? It could hardly have been a more suitable arrangement as far as I was concerned.
We were given a few moments to prepare, mostly to give the nobles on the floor a chance to climb up to the safety of the balconies. I stood to the side with Elissa and our companions, who offered me their good wishes. Elissa looked calm enough, but I could see the fear in her eyes.
"I avenged my family when I killed Arl Howe," she said. "Now it's your turn to avenge yours. The Grey Wardens were your family; this is your right."
"Thank you, my love."
"Just... be at your best," she added quietly. "I've lost everyone else I've ever loved. I don't think I could bear it if I lost you too."
"You won't. I promise." I wanted to kiss her, but in present company it didn't seem like a good idea, and I had to settle for touching her cheek briefly before putting on my helmet. I guess I don't really need to get into the details of the duel, which is just as well since I can't remember half of them. Like I said, a blur. Lots of clashing of steel, lots of grunting. At one point Loghain made a crack about me having some of Maric in me after all, and I remember replying, "Forget Maric - this is for Duncan!"
The fact that I lived to tell the story should be enough to prove that I won. I didn't even really wait for him to concede or for the grand cleric to make a formal declaration of my victory - I just killed him. It was like all of my anger, all of my pain for the loss of the Wardens, dripped with the blood off the edge of Duncan's sword. I felt sort of free. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Elissa almost stagger, Zevran catching her gently by the arm; her relief that I survived was so strong she actually swooned a bit. Anora, meanwhile, actually did collapse, dropping to her knees by her father's body. I did pity her, and would have pitied her more if she hadn't turned on Elissa so rapidly.
Now, I may have fuzzy memories of the stuff which happened before the duel, but everything that happened after it ended is very clear in my mind. Some of Loghain's men took care of removing the body, and once that was done everyone sort of clustered around a bit. "So it is decided," said Eamon, since (with both of Ferelden's teyrns dead) he was the highest-ranking noble in the room. "Alistair will take his father's throne."
"Wait, what?" I asked, startled. "No! No one's decided that! Have they?"
"He refuses the throne! Everyone here has heard him!" said Anora, triumphant. "I think it's clear, then. He abdicates in favor of me!"
"I hardly think you're the appropriate person to mediate this, Anora," said Eamon. "Warden, will you help us?"
Elissa looked uncomfortable. I have to admit, I was sort of puzzled that the Landsmeet was willing to let her decide - but then, she is the Warden-Commander, if unofficially. And when the nobles voted, they didn't say "We're for Alistair." They said "We're with the Wardens."
"I want to speak with Alistair first," she said. To me, quietly, she said, "Are you ready to be king?"
"As ready as anyone ever is, I suppose. Which is to say - yes, I'm ready." And suddenly, after months of misgiving and years of hiding my parentage, I wanted this. I wanted the throne. I wanted to do what was best for my people. The only other option was Anora, and I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. I do trust myself, and I trust Elissa even more.
She exchanged a strange sort of look with Eamon, and cleared her throat.
"Alistair will rule," she said. "And..."
And what, I wondered. I wasn't prepared for the rest of the decision.
"...and I will rule with him."
"Really?" I asked. "I - really? This is usually the part where I wake up." After all, I've been considering asking her to marry me almost since they first told me that they wanted to make me king. But I wasn't expecting her to announce it before I could ask the question.
Eamon then told Anora she had to swear fealty to me, and renounce her claim to the throne both for herself and her heirs, which I guess was in case she might be pregnant with Cailan's child - though I'm sure if that were the case she'd be showing by now. She refused, of course, not that I was surprised. But Eamon said that if she didn't, she remained a threat because she could still cause civil war.
"Put her in the tower, for now," I said. He seemed like he wanted to execute her, and while I don't trust or particularly like Anora, she doesn't deserve that. "If I fall against the Blight, then she can have her throne." Whatever else she is, she's my sister-in-law, and the only heir I've got at present. She was shocked that I would see things in such a light, calling it uncharacteristically wise of me. I told the guards, quietly, to treat her gently; she is still Queen Dowager, after all. Once we settle with the Archdemon, I'll let a wiser head than mine resolve her fate, and by that I mean Elissa's.
Elissa, who is to be my queen. Maker's breath.
Had to take a break. My hand was cramping something fierce from all that writing. It's quite late and I had to get a second candle, too, because the one I was using was melting fast.
Anyway, Anora was herded off to the nicest cell in the tower, the various nobles offered their congratulations, I made a little speech about never knowing my father, and that was pretty much that. It's going to take a while to get used to people calling me "Your Highness" instead of 'hey you.' There was a lot of applauding and some cheering, which made me feel a little better about things. The nobles approve, I guess. I saw Elissa slip out of the room with Sten and Zevran, heading back to Arl Eamon's estate to break the news to the rest of our friends. I started to follow her, but Eamon detained me.
"Alistair, a word?"
I doubled back. "That was a bit unexpected," I said.
"I hope you aren't angry with her."
"Not exactly, but..."
"The fault is mine."
Again with the unexpected. "How?"
He looked just the littlest bit guilty. "I told Lady Cousland, in confidence, that I wasn't entirely sure the nobles would accept you as king uncontested. Perhaps I should have had more faith that they would support the bloodline of Calenhad, but you were kept such a secret for so long. Even though you bear resemblance to Cailan - even though Anora knows your parentage - I feared they might think we invented the story just to displace Loghain."
"I don't understand, how does that make her decision your fault?"
He gestured for me to walk with him. We made our way out of the palace to join his guards, and began the trip back to his estate. As we traveled, he continued to explain. "I felt that your ruling alone would be unwise. But uniting Calenhad's bloodline to a strong queen, a queen of well-known noble parentage with proven skills of leadership and governance, would be sure to ease any misgivings."
I felt like he'd punched me in the stomach, I really did. "Are you telling me," I managed after a moment, "that the woman I love only decided to marry me because she felt sorry for me?!"
He shook his head. "No, no, you misunderstand me. When I approached her with my concerns, it was with the intent that she persuade you to wed Anora. I thought that would be the simplest way to settle the matter. You both had reasonable claims to the throne, and to unite the claims would remove the conflict as well as removing any doubts about the future of Ferelden."
"Did you actually think I'd go along with such a plan? She's the daughter of Loghain, Eamon! Even if I could set aside my other feelings, I'd see his face whenever I looked at her!" I could hardly believe Eamon would try to do such a thing. Not to mention, he was the one who persuaded Cailan to divorce Anora because they didn't have children, so why would he want me to marry the same woman and possibly face the same problem? (I'm facing the same problem anyway, but that's beside the point.) "And how did Elissa respond?"
"She essentially pointed out exactly what you just said - that you would almost certainly never agree to it." Eamon smiled wryly. "I urged her to consider persuading you otherwise. We had this conversation during the trip here from Redcliffe. I hadn't realized, by that point, how you and Elissa feel about one another. I only understood that later, when you danced in my hall here in Denerim - and if that had not opened my eyes to the situation, I would certainly have realized it when she was imprisoned. You were..." He chuckled a little. "In all of your life, I have never seen you look so lost. I knew, then, that you need her - as I need Isolde. And I deeply regretted ever suggesting to her that you make Anora your queen."
"But you never suggested that I make her my queen? Because I'll be honest, Eamon, that's been my intention ever since you put this whole king idea into my head."
"I never did, no. I considered it. A union between the lines of Theirin and Cousland was a reasonable possibility; her recorded bloodline is even more ancient than yours, her family at least as respected. But I hesitated to propose it. You are both Grey Wardens, almost the only Grey Wardens we have just now, and while your duties as king must supercede those of your position as Warden, Elissa has no such divided loyalties. She is, or will be, the Commander of the Grey; and while she will make an excellent queen without a doubt, I think that in truth she must always be a Grey Warden first, and a queen second."
"I don't mind that. I mean, we call it 'the duty that cannot be forsworn' for a reason. It's difficult enough to accept that I have to give up being a Warden. But if anyone can do both, I think it's her."
"Well, no matter which one she is at a given moment, Alistair, one thing is certain. She loves you." Eamon smiled. "When she put herself forward as your queen, it was not because of any suggestion she got from me, or from anyone else as far as I know. But if you're still not convinced, I suggest you ask the lady herself."
I decided to do that.
I found her in the dining hall at Eamon's estate, along with the rest of our companions. When I entered, most of them stood up if they weren't already standing, and I think at least a few of them wanted to bow but they weren't quite sure it was appropriate. After all, most of them knew me for several months before they found out I was a prince, and now they were seeing me for the first time as king-elect.
"So... strange story," I said. "Tell me if you've heard this one. This fellow gets made king and then gets engaged, all in the same minute."
"Yes, about that..." Elissa looked more than a little unnerved. Maybe she thought I'd come to call it off. "You're not angry, are you?"
"Oh, I'm actually fine with becoming king. I've had some time to come to terms with that. There might even be some good I can do. I suppose I'm more curious about, you know, the engagement. I like the idea," I added, and her expression cleared. "I just - are you sure?"
"Am I sure that I want to marry you?" She smiled. "Of course."
"Ah. Well. I guess that saves me having to ask, then. Whew." So she really did it because she loves me. If I still had any doubts, the truth was right there in those blue eyes. She couldn't give up what we have together, any more than I could. "They'll expect an heir, you know," I added, a bit more playfully. "With the Taint in our blood, it's hard enough for a Grey Warden to have a child on their own - but for two of them? Every Grey Warden I ever knew who had children had them before their Joining. Having an heir might not be possible." It was a sobering thought.
Elissa lifted her chin, eyes glinting. "It won't be for lack of trying," she teased me. Vixen. I saw Morrigan gag. Leliana stifled a giggle; Zevran and Oghren were both smirking. It occurs to me that the conversation might have been better without an audience, but no matter, I suppose.
So now we're all getting some much needed rest. Eamon's traveling party has already set off for Redcliffe, where the elves, dwarves, mages, and assorted nobles are sending their troops; Riordan will accompany him. Our companions are planning to spend one last day in the city, to see to any final preparations, and then we'll make our way there to plan the offensive. Hopefully this will all be over soon.