Shadow and Rose

by Lady Norbert

A/N: I can hardly believe we're so close to the end. Only two chapters to go, after this one! I am told that the inquest mentioned in this chapter comes up in the second volume of World of Thedas. I only have the first volume at the time of this writing, so I'm basing my mentions of it on what I've gleaned from the internet. (But let's face it, this story isn't 100% true to canon anyway - just as close as I can get it while still being as happy as I want it to be.)

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Grandmaster Silverite Rune

The emblem of Dumat, the first Archdemon, symbol of betrayal and the First Blight.

It's hard to find time to keep this little book updated, even without my favorite distraction... well, distracting me. Elissa's been spending the bulk of her time either catching up with her brother, which I can hardly resent, or else helping to direct the cleanup here in Denerim, which I also can't fault. We usually get a little bit of time together in the mornings and evenings, but not much else.

Let's see. It's been about a week since I last wrote. Anora set off the day before yesterday for Gwaren, with her 'honor guard.' (Oghren also went along, which I didn't anticipate. He's heading back to that inn at Lake Calenhad to see that girl of his, and it's more or less on the way, so he's traveling with them as far as the Spoiled Princess.) She doesn't expect to make it back for the wedding, which isn't too surprising given what a long way she has to travel, but we sent her off with a bunch of farewell tokens that I hope will ease whatever rift lingers between us. I mean, I did kill her father - in honorable combat, but still - so I doubt we'll ever be the best of friends. I'd like it if we developed something of an accord, though. So she's heading back with a cartload or two of her gowns, and a few jewels, and that sort of thing. It's my understanding that Gwaren didn't suffer too much from the darkspawn; Gwaren is situated in the southeast, beyond the Brecilian Forest, and the bastards didn't get that far.

In fact, all things considered, the country could be in a lot worse shape than it is. Between the civil war and the Blight, we've had a hell of a twelvemonth, but the four previous Blights lasted for years. We took care of this one in record time. Naturally, the Grand Cleric held a big service of thanksgiving as soon as decently possible.

Preparations are underway for the coronation, which - out of necessity - is going to be a very understated affair. In fact, it's going to be so simple that we've set the date for five days from now, which works out nicely. I'm more interested in them getting the wedding pulled together anyway. Elissa wants that to happen as soon as possible (and I'm certainly not arguing), mostly because of Sten. It seems he's itching to go back to Seheron and give his report to the Arishok; he told her he had booked passage on a ship for the day after the coronation, but she really wants him to be at the wedding so she talked him into staying a little bit longer. I could be wrong, but I'm almost positive that this will be the first Fereldan wedding in history whose honored guests will include a Qunari.

She herself is leaving the day after the coronation. She's going to accompany Fergus back to Highever - one of my first official acts as king will be to formally restore his teyrnir - and have a memorial for their parents and the others who died there. I'm a little unhappy about it, mostly because I can't go with her, but I really can't blame her either. From what she told me, the castle is a horrid mess; when she and the other women were on their mission to rescue Anora from the Arl of Denerim's estate, they overheard some soldiers talking about the fact that the bodies are still all there from the massacre. I don't want Elissa to have to see that, but she's sort of insistent. Wynne and Leliana are going to go with her, so that makes me feel a little better; they'll console her if she needs it. I thought Zevran was going to go too, but he's apparently staying behind to keep an eye on me. Her idea, probably. I'm not sure what the others will do, exactly, but they've all promised to be at the coronation.

And as she pointed out, the day after she comes back, we'll be getting married.

Oghren returned this afternoon, with his lady friend in tow; she was introduced to the rest of us as Felsi. More significantly, she was introduced to us as his wife. Felsi's started to swell, so before they came back to the palace, they got married. I guess their reunion before the Battle of Denerim was more successful than even Elissa realized.

"Sorry to beat you to the punch like that," said the father-to-be with a cheerful sort of grin, "but you know how it is."

"I'm not offended, I promise," I told him. "Congratulations."

"Heh. Thanks. Good to know there's one woman in the sodding world who can put up with me - well, two if you count Queenie. I'm gonna try to do it right this time. Make sure you do too."

Coronation is tomorrow. We had a little pre-ceremony banquet tonight, just for our friends - our entire group, plus Fergus, Felsi, Sandal, Teagan, Eamon, and Brother Genitivi. (We were so happy to learn he'd sheltered in the Chantry and wasn't hurt that we invited him to dinner.) Eamon had wanted to host it, but his estate suffered so much damage during the fighting - no surprise, given that it's just off the market district - that he's honestly considering just razing the whole thing to the ground and rebuilding. So we had it here instead.

The food was simple, which was Elissa's idea. "It won't do to have anyone think that we're eating better than they are," she explained to me, "not when we're all suffering so much. And I don't think we could get anything too fancy just now anyway." She was right, of course, and we made do with some well-prepared vegetables and a salted pork that had been stored as Cailan's welcome-home meal following Ostagar, which of course was never put to purpose. It's cured nicely in the intervening months. We toasted to his memory, and to Duncan's, and Riordan's, and all of the fallen.

Eamon will, of course, return to his family once the coronation is completed; they'll all be returning at the end of the month for the wedding. In fact, he says, once they come back to Denerim, they might not be leaving again. "Connor has to go to the Circle, of course," he said with a sigh. "My poor boy. And Isolde absolutely refuses to speak of what happened in Redcliffe - she says she never wants to go back." I didn't even realize it, but they weren't at Redcliffe Castle when we were all there the night before the battle. Once Eamon had left with our party to come to the Landsmeet, Isolde and Connor made their way to Teagan's bannorn. They're still there. Eamon was able to get permission to keep Connor out of the Circle until after my wedding, which I suppose he got away with since he's Queen Rowan's brother; I didn't ask. He and Isolde will take up residence in Denerim, probably here in the castle until his estate is repaired, and he's planning to cede the arling to Teagan.

So there went my plan to invite Teagan to stay on as my advisor, although he promised he'll stick around for a while and visit as frequently as he can. Brother Genitivi, meanwhile, accepted Elissa's invitation. She already sent a message to Soldier's Peak to reassure Bodahn that Sandal is okay, and they're going to stop there on the way to Highever to bring him back. She wants to show the place to Fergus anyway. Genitivi will go with them, and stay on as the head of the citadel's Chantry; he's going to bring his entire personal collection and set up shop in the library there, and continue his writing and research when he's not tending to the faithful. He seems pretty excited about it.

I knew this was too easy.

Eamon came to me this morning while I was getting dressed. There's no actual crown for this coronation, which starts in about an hour, but it was decided that I'd wear Cailan's armor. Since it's a Theirin heirloom, we all thought it might send the right message, so it's been polished up and I kind of look like a walking gold vault. I feel a little ridiculous to have it be this shiny, to be honest.

Anyway, to come back to the point, Eamon came in as I was finishing, and he sent the page away once he was done helping me. "You look a little worried," I told him. "Is something wrong?"

"Not exactly. But I do have news." He sighed. "I thought this might happen. The Landsmeet has declared you king, and no one will gainsay them. But there remains some lingering doubt as to whether you were truly fathered by King Maric - whether you are indeed a Theirin king."

"I was, though, right? I am, aren't I?"

"He never denied it."

"That's... not much of an answer, Eamon."

"I'm sorry." He sighed again. "Perhaps it's time you knew the truth."

"What now?"

"You grew up in my household, under the impression that your mother was a serving girl who died giving birth to you. That... is not quite right. And the truth will out, at the inquest, so it's best you know that now."

I sat down hard. "My mother didn't die?"

"No. She... left your father, for a time, and returned with you in her arms. She told him you were his son, she gave you your name, and she asked that you grow up believing her to be dead." His eyes were sad. "Such is how he explained it to me, at least, when he asked me to oversee your upbringing."

"Is she alive?" He didn't answer, so I stood up again. "Eamon, is my mother alive?"

"I don't know, my boy," he replied softly. Even now I'm not sure I believe him. "I don't know who she was. Your father never told me anything except that her name was Fiona. That much I told you was true. Duncan, however..."

"What about Duncan?"

"Duncan actually knew her. They were acquainted. He even named a weapon after her." He chuckled, briefly and faintly. "He stopped in Redcliffe when he journeyed to Highever, before the Battle of Ostagar. He told me he was thinking of telling you who she was, once the fighting was over. I urged him to reconsider - we had both promised your father we would not - but he was seriously contemplating it."

So apparently I have to endure this inquest thing, sometime soon. I don't even know when. But Loghain should just be grateful that he's dead, because the list of things he took away from me just got longer. If Duncan had survived Ostagar, I would know who my real mother is. I might even have gotten to meet her, if she's still alive. And now I never will. It's not like Fiona is any kind of real clue; she might not even be in Ferelden. For all I know, she's from Orlais. The name does sound Orlesian, come to think of it, so that's no help at all. And that's assuming that Eamon's even telling me the truth.

This isn't exactly the most cheerful way to start my kingship, is it? I need to stop thinking about this and go smile for my people. And for my queen.