Chapt 19
Monday morning Claire woke up and fixed home made pancakes for breakfast. When Matt came into the kitchen she fixed him a plate and sat down across from him. "What are you doing today?"
"Nothing at all, why, is there something you had in mind?"
"I need a new car. I was hoping that you would take me to look for one."
"Of course I will. Today we can do whatever you want to do. Just tell me and I'll make it happen."
By two o'clock that afternoon Claire still hadn't found a car that she really liked, and she was hungry. She hated Matt having to chauffeur her around all day but he promised her that he didn't mind at all. He was really to kind to her and she would have to find a way to repay him.
They were just finishing up a late lunch when Claire's cell phone rang. Picking it up without glancing at her caller I.D. she said hello. She listened for a minute and then said, "So you've not been able to find him at all?" She was silent another minute as she listened to the officer on the line before saying, "Yes, I understand. I have someone who can be with me I think so that I'm not alone. Thank you for letting me know and please, if you hear anything, call me back."
"What was that about," Matt said as she slid the cell phone back into her purse.
"That was Officer Grays from the police department. He wanted to let me know that after they had looked everywhere and searched all the local hotels for a booking in Logan's name at all the local hotels and motels they haven't found him. They suggested that I find someone to stay with me, especially at night, just in case."
"Then I'll stay, it's no big deal at all. We can split up the time between your place and mine."
"Matt I can't ask you to babysit me all the time. You have a life too and you shouldn't have to give it up just because I have a psychotic ex husband."
Taking her hand in his and giving it a squeeze Matt said, "Claire, really I don't mind at all. I love the time we spend together. If I can help keep you safe I want too."
"As long as you know you don't have to do it, I guess its okay." Claire couldn't help but think that it was a major mistake having him around all the time. She already thought that she could love him for the rest of her life, the last thing she needed was him around long enough to have her falling in love with him. She didn't think that idea was totally absurd, at least not as absurd as she would have thought it just a few months ago. Lately she was thinking that she needed to distance herself from him if only to remind herself that he wasn't who she needed if what she wanted was a mate in life. Now here she was, being forced to have him serve as her protector. That was the last thing that she needed him in a hero position, or worse, a position that could bring him harm.
That night they stayed at her house and went for a late night walk on the beach. They were hand in hand and she couldn't remember anything that had ever felt so natural. She had to stop her mind from letting her think that she could love him. Maybe she should just tell him what was on her mind, but that thought was more than she wanted to think on.
"What are you thinking in that pretty little head of yours Claire?"
"What makes you think I'm thinking anything?"
"You got quiet, and you're fiddling with your hair. That's always a sign with you."
Claire gave a soft chuckle. "You think you know me so well do ya?"
"Okay, then tell me you weren't thinking on something and mean it." When she stuck out her tongue at him he laughed out loud. "That's what I thought. See I do know you that well you dork."
She playfully punched him in the arm and smiled up at him in the moonlight. He smiled down at her then turned to look out at the horizon. He stared at the place where the sea met the sky and grew quiet. "Now who's thinking and has a full mind? Want to talk about it," Claire asked.
Matt sank down to sit in cool sand and raised his knees up to his chest. Wrapping his arms around his knees he said, "The moon's so bright tonight. It's like it's lighting up the whole sky so we can see how beautiful it is out here when there's no one around."
"I can't argue with that, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't what was on your mind."
"No, you're right, that isn't what's on my mind. I've just been thinking about my mom's call yesterday. I didn't tell you what she called for."
Taking a place beside him Claire leaned back on her hands and looked at the back of his head. "Do you want to share now?"
"She wanted to talk about Thanksgiving, and the family's plans. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that once again I wasn't included, and really I wasn't surprised I don't guess. It still hurts to hear that they have all these wonderful plans that I'm not welcome to if I continue to insist that I am who I am. I told her that I had plans already anyway, and in all honesty I wouldn't have it any other way."
"I'm so sorry Matt, really I am. I can't imagine having parents that didn't support me in my life. I know that it can't be easy, and that it's not something that you just get used to."
He reached out and touched her hand. "Sometimes the family that really counts has no blood ties to you at all, I've learned that." With a smile he changed the subject. "Now you know what was on my mind, so tell me what it was on yours."
"You."
"Me? What about me?"
"It's nothing Matt, really. Just let it go."
"Are you sure? You know that you can talk to me right? Is it about all this with Logan?"
Claire began drawing circles in the sand and she avoided his eyes. "This thing with Logan certainly doesn't help, but no, that's not it entirely. I just… well, sometimes I think that I love you, when I know that I shouldn't. I know you think that because I know you're off limits is why I feel like you could be the perfect man for me, but that isn't it. I just can't see me with anyone who isn't just like you. I just hope that one day, when you find that perfect person for you, that they know how truly special you are and appreciate that."
"Claire, it's okay really. Who knows, maybe it will all be like my dad says. One day I'll come to my senses and realize that the one I need wears a bra naturally."
Claire's mouth hung open and she tried to judge whether he was joking or not. When she realized that he wasn't she scooted closer to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he lay his head on her shoulder. "Matt that's just a horrible thing to say to anyone, but especially your own son! You love who you love and that's that. To say that love is wrong is to not really know what it is."
Matt leaned into her and kissed her cheek. "Let's go back in. It's getting chilly out here and we need to get some sleep."
He stood and held out his hand to help her up before wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. "Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to me, for loving and caring about me."
"And thank you for being all that and more for me," Claire whispered.
That week passed quickly, with Claire working and going to her classes and Matt never far away. Sadie was pleased to see that the two had patched up their issues and was back on track and she was shocked to hear about the vandalizing of Claire's car. At the FCW arena that weekend Matt was like a shadow to Claire and unless he was in the ring he was at her side. He took his role as protector serious and he made her feel safe, behind walls that couldn't fall. Claire and Missy got the new character worked out and in a few short weeks Missy would become Alexandria, a movie starlet who was known for her bad girl image with a twist of sassy sex appeal. With no further incidents from Logan it seemed silly to have Matt with her at every moment.
As they headed home that Saturday Claire looked at Matt and grinned. "I've loved this week with you, but if you don't want to you don't have to keep staying. I'm sure that the issue is over now and he's long gone."
"I think one more week would be best, just to be on the safe side of things."
"Okay," she smiled. "Stephen didn't try to talk to me this weekend at all, and he hasn't been in the café either. That's unusual. Maybe he got the hint finally."
"Claire he isn't so bad, and I'm sure that you just misunderstood what he meant that day at lunch. Why don't you give him a chance and just talk to him? We could get a group together and all go out so it wouldn't be so personal…"
"No, Matt, he isn't what I want or need. He's not my type at all and I just know that it wouldn't work. I don't want to know him, and I really don't think I misunderstood. He made it pretty clear what he meant."
"Okay fine, I'll drop it," Matt said with a sigh. "Can you believe that it's already October?"
Claire smiled at the way he had so casually changed the subject. "I know, this year has flown by. It's been so full of highs and lows, I'll be glad when it's all over."
"Just remember when it hits the bottom you can only go up from there."
The week went by fairly uneventful and on Wednesday evening the two of them shared their weekly dinner on the beach. They had a great conversation about Halloween and the upcoming Thanksgiving season. There was laughter and comfortable silences mixed in with stories of Matt's work and Claire's childhood. By the time they headed back into the house the sun had long since set and they were both tired. Claire went to her room to change into her pajamas and get herself ready for bed while Matt went to the guest room where he'd been sleeping for the past week and a half to do the same.
"Goodnight Matt," Claire called from her bed.
"Night Claire," he called back.
She was just about asleep when she heard his cell phone ringing in his room. She heard him answer and talk in hushed tones and even though she was curious about who was calling and what was being said she rolled over and did all she could to go to sleep. Fifteen minutes later she rolled back over and she could have sworn she heard sobs coming from down the hall. No, she thought, there was no reason that he would be that upset. She closed her eyes and told herself to just go to sleep, that he was fine. She had almost convinced herself of that when the sound of crying came floating down the hallway again.
She got up out of bed and walked silently down the hall. At his door she stopped and listened. He was definitely crying and the sound simply broke her heart. She knocked softly and let herself in. Walking over to the bed where he sat propped up on pillows, tears raging like rivers down his cheeks, and sat down.
"Matt, honey, what is it?"
"That was m-m-mom. She said that dad, he was working out in the garage, he… he fell. It was two hours before she found him."
Claire felt tears spring to her own eyes and she blinked them away. Wrapping her friend in her arms she rocked him gently. "Matt I'm sorry, so sorry. What happened?"
He held onto her and let the tears fall. After who knows how long he leaned back and wiped at his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize to me Matt, you have every right to be upset." She stood and grabbed him a box of tissues from the bathroom closet and took her seat next to him again. "Here, if you want to talk I'm here, and if you just want a shoulder, I've got two."
"Regardless of how my parents feel about me, I love them both so much. It kills me knowing that they aren't proud, that they can't stand their own son. Claire mom said dad had a massive heart attack. When he fell and lay there in that garage for all that time his heart was attacked by smaller heart attacks but they aren't sure just how many times that happened. He's alive, but barely. The doctors don't think he'll make it til Monday."
"Then you need to go and see him, be with him Matt. Tell him you love him while you can."
Tears fell from his sweet eyes once again. "I would love to, but even now, when my dad's lying there dying, I'm told not to come if I'm only going to bring my sin into their lives. I'm not welcome."