Chapt. 23

"How was work tonight," Matt asked as we climbed into the car to head to the house.

"Great, I really like this guy I'm working with now. He's sweet and reminds me a lot of you."

He raised his eyebrow and looked at Claire. "Oh really now, and just who is this guy?"

"Mhm, really now," Claire joked. "His names PJ but he wrestles as Justin Angel. I'm sure you know him. Cute, dark hair, amazing eyes and the cutest dimples when he smiles; oh and he has this accent that can make you weak in the knees. Does that ring a bell for you?"

Matt got quiet and for a minute she thought that he might actually be upset that she was joking about being attracted to another guy. "Matt, I'm kidding! I mean he is wonderful and all that but really, I don't know, he just seems… well I just don't know."

"Actually you were right about him. He is all that stuff. What were you going to say? He seems what?"

Claire shrugged her shoulders as she drove and stared straight ahead into the night. "I don't know, I guess I just got the impression that maybe he would be more interested in someone like you than me. I'm probably wrong about that though so it's nothing."

Matt laughed as they pulled into her drive way. "Actually I've thought the same thing about him. I mean as far as the eyes, smile, accent and all anyway. As far as him being more into me than you, you're right. He's probably the only one who knows about me and that's only because we can tell another one of us without saying a word."

By that time they had reached Claire's house and Matt walked her to the door. "It doesn't matter anyway. I'm changing my life around, remember?"

Placing a light kiss on his lips Claire smiled. "I know. I just wish you could see that you are just fine as you are instead of trying to be someone else. Yes, I enjoy you and I love the way it feels to kiss you, but… I just want you to truly be happy and if this isn't you then I know you can't be."

"Claire, I have to do this for my mom, and for my dad's memory. It's not about me anymore."

"So when will it be about you Matt? When everyone is gone? When will you live to make you happy?"

"Please, let's not do this okay? Look, I've got to get back to the apartment but I will see you tomorrow. I'll pick you for work at four okay?"

Closing the door and locking it up behind Matt an idea started to form in Claire's mind. She had been searching for something meaningful to do, a way to help people and to give back and finally she was starting to get a vision of just how to do that. She ran to her desk and pulled out a pen and her favorite stationary and began to jot down ideas as they came to her. She had all the money that she needed to fund this project; she would just have to put in some foot work and a lot of sacrifice. That was something that she was more than willing to do. She knew that with Christmas right around the corner that most all of the big planning would have to wait until after the New Year but she wanted to be sure that when the time came she only had to put it into action for it all to come together.

Saturday she didn't say a word to Matt about her ideas. She didn't have anything solid yet and she didn't want to let the cat out of the bag before she had a firm game plan to work with. She had a fifteen minute meeting with PJ about her ideas for his character before the matches started and by the time she was finished with him, she had completely switched gears and was back to thinking about her project.

When it was time for Matt's match she sat her pen down and headed out to the arena. She was almost there when she heard that accent that she loved coming from behind her. Turning she smiled. "Hey there PJ, are you fighting Matt tonight?"

Holding up his hands he grinned, showing his dimples. "Guilty as charged ma'am," he said. "I actually had just stopped by your office to see if you wanted to join me and a few of the guys after work for a drink. Of course Matt is welcome too, I know you guys are sort of a thing."

Claire fell into step beside him and gave him a questioning look. "A thing, what kind of a thing exactly is it you're talking about?" She grinned so that he could see she was only kidding with him.

"You know a boyfriend girlfriend thing. I guess I just had him pegged as someone different in my mind." His eyes found his feet as he took his place in what the guys called gorilla position. She would never understand that phrase! She did however understand the meaning behind the words that he had spoken.

As the ring announcer took her place Claire touched his arm. "We'd love to go out with you guys. Take it easy on him out there huh?" She turned and slipped around the curtain to find her seat with out another word.

Week after week she found herself cheering more and more during Matt's matches and she wondered when she had let go of a piece of that fear that she had coming into this job. She had to admit it felt good to be able to let go and enjoy watching her friend do what he loved doing. She couldn't say that she'd come around on the topic of men but this was a start, and she'd take it.

Once the match was over she headed toward the back to pack up her things and got ready to look for Matt. She found him at the vending machine getting a bottle of water. He handed her the one he'd just gotten and put in the money for another before speaking.

"So, what'd you think of the match?"

"It was amazing. PJ is really talented. You two play well off of each other so it made for good stuff." Taking a long drink of her water Claire said, "Oh! PJ asked if we wanted to go out with him and some of the guys tonight for a bite and a drink. I told him we would, if that's okay."

"Sounds good, I just need to go change clothes. Have you got everything ready to go?"

"I have just a few more things I need to do but yes, I'm ready." Dashing back to the office Claire took a minute or two to jot down more ideas that were burning in her brain before tossing all of her things into her bag and heading out to the hallway to meet back up with Matt.

They all met up at the local Taco Mac and took their seats. Claire grimaced when she noticed that Stephen was one of the guys who came along. True he was nice enough but she still didn't like him. She didn't know what it was; only that he was huge and muscled. Maybe, just maybe, she still held the job over his head. She knew that it was hypocritical of her to accept the others doing such a physical job and to hold it against the big man but she just couldn't stop herself.

After placing their orders she excused herself to go to the restroom. When she came out she bumped into Stephen. "It seems we keep running into each other every where we go. You ever wonder why that is?"

Rolling her eyes she pushed by him. "Not really, no. We do work for the same company and have the same friends so it's only natural that we run into each other way too often."

He grabbed her arm and spun her around. "What is it with you Claire? Or maybe I should ask what it is with me. You have given everyone else the chance to get to know them and become their friend but you can't do that with me. Why is that? Those guys out there are no different than I am."

Claire glared up at him and felt her nerves go on edge. "I don't have to give you any answers, I don't owe you anything. Maybe though, those guys out there haven't tried putting some slick moves on me every single time they get near me. I really don't know what it is. Just do me a favor and do not ever put your hands on me again." Spinning on her heels Claire turned to head back to their table.

"That guy who hurt you so bad, I'm not him Claire."

His words hit her in the heart and she kept walking unwilling to turn and face him again. The rest of the night she did her best to ignore him and not make it obvious. By the time they'd all finished eating she was exhausted with the effort. "Matt, are you about ready to head out. I'm suddenly really tired."

"Sure thing, let me just tell the guys we are going to head on out of here okay?"

She nodded and smiled. After hugging PJ and one or two others Claire took Matt's hand and they headed out the door. She was quiet on the way home and claimed that she was only tired when Matt asked if anything was bothering her. Once she was home and he had walked her in she hugged him tightly. As he headed back toward his car she called out, "Hey, you do know that you and PJ would be really damn cute right?" Before he could answer she closed the door and slid the bolts locked and then headed to bed. The week that lay ahead was going to be a busy one and she wanted to be well rested and ready to tackle it all.