A/N: I wanted to apologize for how long it took me to get another chapter uploaded, but real life just got in the way. I've been dealing with the illness/injury of a family member recently and that has taken up most of my time. But I really want to thank everyone who followed/favorite this story and those who wrote reviews and especially to myBlueprints who sent me a lovely private message when I really needed it the most. So, thank you to everyone! And I hope to not have such a long time between updates. I'm reinvigorated about this story again (even though the show is kind of irritating me right now) and I really want to keep working on it. I hope everyone likes this chapter. :-)

Chapter 8

At first, there had been nothing but the feeling of emptiness. After Ichabod had gone, Abbie had found herself instantly back at the dollhouse and been unable to feel anything except a searing longing. It felt like it scorched her to the very marrow of her bones, tearing her heart asunder and leaving only ashes in its wake. Abbie was keenly aware of Ichabod's absence – more than she was aware of the fact she was no longer alive or that she would never see her sister again or that she was forever trapped where Moloch could torment her at will. All she could seem to focus on was the very idea that Ichabod was gone and forever parted from her and she didn't know how she would ever be able to go on without him.

At first, nothing else would fit into her soul.

But then, slowly – like a river winding lazily to the ocean – Abbie felt other sensations bubble to the surface of her consciousness. As time passed, she felt the pain in her shoulder from the wound Moloch had given her. It bled continuously but she never passed out from the blood loss. She seemed eternally perched on the edge of it, but unable to fall over. She knew that was Moloch's doing. As was the sting from the cut on her lip that never healed and the soreness of the bruises that mottled her face. He was keeping her in the first moments of his abuse; freezing her in time at the moment she was hurt so she would be forced to exist forever in anguish.

She knew he was doing everything in his power to break her and force her to hand over her soul – whatever was left of it. He was using everything in his arsenal to strip her of her armor and the walls she had built to keep him out, including forcing her to relive the moment she had sent Ichabod back to the mortal world.

She would never forget the way he had looked after she had kissed him that final time and sent him into a dreamless slumber. He had seemed peaceful at first – as she had been promised - but she could not erase the memory of the way he had reached out for her or the way his face had fallen when he had not been able to find her. It would haunt her forever. She had done that to him – let him down. He wouldn't have understood it was the only way to ensure his safety and that she would do it over a thousand times if it meant that he would survive.

Abbie was unsure as to how much time had passed since Ichabod had faded from her view. She had no way to mark time in this place. It could have been minutes or years. Ichabod could still be in the coffin waiting for Jenny to rescue him or he could be an old man surrounded by his grandchildren. An odd detached part of her almost hoped that he was that old grandfather because that would mean he had lived a good and happy life and there was no greater wish she had for him than that. But there was no way for her to tell because nothing in the dollhouse ever changed and now that the younger versions of Jenny and herself were gone, she had no way to get any new information.

She sat at the dollhouse's kitchen table, her chin resting in her hands and tried to keep the horror held back, for she was uncertain how she would ever fill the endless infinity before her all alone and without even a way to watch over Ichabod and make sure he was safe. She had promised he would not be alone, but now that's exactly what he was: alone and abandoned, with just a ghost of her stowed away inside him.

Abbie was sure she could still feel that missing piece of her soul the way an amputee could still feel a missing limb. She felt incomplete and broken and on the brink of total despair at every moment and her love for Ichabod only enhanced that feeling as it cried out for the piece that was missing.

Abbie sighed and pushed herself up from the table, a tear slipping down her cheek. The dollhouse was dark and desolate and without even the girls' companionship it seemed that the shadows that lingered in every corner cloaked it in lonesomeness. Her whole body felt sluggish and heavy. The lightness she had felt earlier when the pain from her mortal life had vanished had been short-lived; the pain of missing Ichabod a greater burden than anything she had known before.

Great love brings great grief, Corbin used to say. How she wished he were here now to help her through the greatest grief she had ever experienced.

She walked over to the window and looked out at the darkness of Purgatory's woods. The tormented and anguished souls never lessened or lightened. Abbie wondered how long it would be before she was one of the truly demented souls who just wandered endlessly through Purgatory completely lost in their own pain and unaware of any of the people they loved.

"That doesn't have to be your future."

Abbie whirled around at the sudden voice behind her and came face to face with Andy Brooks.

He looked so human: olive-green police uniform perfectly pressed, black hair shiny, skin unmarked and smooth and eyes the color of coffee. He looked just as he had in life and not like the…creature he had become when she saw him last. Abbie could not figure out how that could be or why he was in Purgatory when she knew he should be somewhere a bit…lower and hotter as far as she was concerned.

"Andy? What the hell are you doing here?" she snapped.

"Moloch sent me," he supplied, unable to look in her eyes.

Abbie felt anger surge through her and crossed her arms. "Still doing his dirty work? Even here?"

Andy exhaled, chewing on his bottom lip and looked from Abbie to the kitchen table. "Why don't we sit down, Abbie? You don't look so well, actually."

She put her hands on her hips. No way in hell was she going to sit down and have a friendly chat with him. He had tried to kill her and Ichabod the last time she saw him. Not to mention that he had literally transformed into some kind of demon-creature.

"Well thanks for the compliment, Andy, but I don't want to talk to you. There is nothing you have to say that I want to hear, I promise you. Now, I'm pretty sure you aren't here just to hang, so why don't you get out of here."

She turned back to the window, intent on ignoring him until he gave up and left. She heard him sigh.

"He's giving you a choice," he finally said – so softly that she could have almost convinced herself she had imagined it.

Abbie was so tired and didn't want to play these games any longer. If she had to stay here forever why couldn't they just let her be? She kept her eyes on the dark landscape outside and spoke with purpose. "I already made my choice, Andy. I gave Ichabod my strength so he could live. I sacrificed my life. Isn't that enough?"

The mere mention of Ichabod's name caused the pain to flare to life inside her and it felt like an arrow had pierced her heart. She missed him more than she missed living. He was the moon to her Mother Earth; a constant presence orbiting nearby but never out of sight.

Until now.

"You know Moloch never cared about your life," Andy said softly. "He wants your soul. So he's offering you a new choice: surrender your soul now or…" Andy trailed off causing Abbie to turn and look at him. He looked genuinely concerned.

"Or what?" she asked, and once the question left her lips, she knew she would not like the answer.

Andy looked down at the floor. "Please sit down, Abbie…"

Abbie rushed forward, her anger powering her and grabbed Andy by the collar of his police jacket. She felt an odd strength in her muscles – as though she could have lifted him from the ground if she wanted.

"OR WHAT?!" she bellowed, shaking him.

Andy's eyes went wide and she knew he was afraid, but didn't care. "Or he'll make you wish you had," he said with the finality of a prophecy.

Suddenly, Abbie was back in her kitchen in her apartment on that early morning when Andy had shown up, warning her that Ichabod would betray her. She could distinctly remember the way the morning sun had filtered in through her blinds bathing her apartment in a warm glow and how his words had caused a cold wind to blow through her. The fear and shock she felt that morning washed over her now and she felt nauseous. All the strength left her suddenly and she let Andy go.

Sinking into one of the chairs, she ran her hands over her face trying to get herself together. Whatever had happened was in the past and this was her new reality. The prophecy had come true but Ichabod had not intended to betray her and she knew that now. He had told her he loved her and she believed him. He hadn't wanted to leave her here.

"I will never give Moloch my soul. You know that, Andy," she finally said when she could trust her voice not to waver.

She looked up at him and found that he had taken the seat across from her. He was looking at her with an expression of sadness and pity and it made her angry. Her whole life people had looked at her like that: police officers, social workers, teachers, foster parents, ministers – hell, even store clerks. It never failed to make her feel worthless.

"Abbie, if you do not yield, Moloch will return you to the mortal world."

She felt her breath catch and was certain her heart missed a beat in its rhythm. Moloch would return her? He would let her go back? She could be with Ichabod?

"He'll…return me?" she asked, her voice breathless. Her mind was filled with images of Ichabod and the thought of seeing him again made her dizzy.

Andy shook his head. "It's not as easy as you think, Abbie. Don't you understand what you've done?"

What she'd done? What she'd done? What was he talking about? As far as Abbie knew, she had selflessly given her life for Ichabod and now Moloch was going to return her to… And that's when it hit her. What was there to return? Her life was gone; forfeit for the safekeeping of another. She was the lamb – only she had slaughtered herself for another to live.

Andy snickered, switching from concerned to vengeful in a moment. "Now do you get it?" he asked coldly. Behind his voice lie a thousand cruel intentions and accusations waiting to attack. "You gave Ichabod a piece of your soul, Abbie. Without it, you will be incomplete in the mortal world. A part of you was shifted to another while in an unearthly place and because of that, you can never be mortal again. Even when you die, a part of you will live on in him. You're not immortal, but you're the closest thing to it. You have no place in the world of the living now. You would only suffer if you were to return."

Abbie felt the nausea return and it seemed as though the room were spinning around her. She put her hands on either side of her head and squeezed her eyes shut. "Why are you doing this?"

"I must do his bidding. You know that. I have no free will, Abbie, but you do," he said sadly. "If you not offer what remains of your soul to Moloch, he will send you back to the world of the living and you will suffer terribly."

Abbie was about to ask how suffering in the mortal world would be any different than her suffering here when she remembered one of the caveats of Purgatory.

"Wait a minute. How can he send me back? There's no one here to take my place."

Andy swallowed hard. "Yes there is. Me."

Abbie opened her eyes, eyebrows raised. "You?"

Andy nodded. "He will make me stay here in your place. I belong to him, Abbie, as much as you do. He can do what he wants with me."

Abbie bristled, feeling the hair raise on the back of her neck. "I don't belong to anyone."

Andy shrugged. "Whatever helps you sleep at night…"

"I don't sleep anymore and I don't understand how sending me back to the mortal world will cause me to suffer, either," she said bitterly, his sarcasm getting under her skin.

Andy looked at her for a long time and his eyes were once again full of pity and it just made her want to punch him. In the end, though, she sat still and waited for him to speak.

"You didn't just give Ichabod your 'mortal strength.' You also gave him everything that makes you who you are: your sense of injustice, your willingness to protect the innocent, your need to serve and even the love you feel for him. You literally gave Ichabod yourself."

Suddenly, Andy's words rang true and Abbie wondered if that's why she had been feeling so lost and broken. "Is that why I feel so…"

"Incomplete?" Andy finished.

She nodded, the feeling rising up within her, choking her. If she didn't find a way to control it, Abbie was afraid it would devour her, smothering what was left of her soul.

"If you feel incomplete here, imagine how you would feel back on the other side, Abbie," he said gently. "You'll feel like a ghost among the living; unable to know or find your place in the world or to truly feel and reciprocate love. You will remember those you love and want to feel love for them desperately, but you'll be unable to because that part of you resides in another. You'll remember your bond with Ichabod and Jenny, but you won't be able to completely get it back. Do you really want to feel the torment of the loss of those things forever?"

Abbie looked right at him, her eyes hard. "What's the difference? I'm in torment now. What does it matter where I suffer? At least there I'll be with the people I love."

"Abbie, it'll be worse there! Can't you see?" Andy shouted. His eyes were wild and he ran his hands through his hair. He had gone from concerned to irritated in seconds again. "Everything will be more real there. The depression and regret and pain will make you beg for Moloch to take your soul! You'd most likely end up taking your own life to escape the torture. Is that the future you want?"

Abbie leaned over the table and made sure to look Andy directly in the eyes. She searched for any sign of deception, but found none. Maybe part of him was truly concerned for her and was telling her the truth. Not that it mattered because there was no way she would ever give Moloch her soul.

"Even if you had scared me enough to believe you, I still wouldn't do it, Andy. I can't. I'm still a Witness and Moloch is too desperate. He needs my soul for something. What is it?"

Andy sighed, obviously exasperated and shook his head.

"Please, Andy. Tell me," she begged.

"I am taking a huge risk in telling you this, Abbie. Do you understand?"

She nodded, her breath caught on his next words.

Andy closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Fine, Mills. Moloch needs the 'soul of a Witness' to complete his entrance into the mortal world. He tried to get it all those years ago in the forest. He's never stopped trying."

Abbie felt all the blood drain from her face. She was assaulted by memories of four white trees and four lost days and an entire lost childhood. Her life had been changed forever on that day and she was never the same. That day, Moloch had stolen any chance of a normal life that she and Jenny had ever had and even if the whole of humanity's fate wasn't in her hands, she wouldn't give in to him for that reason alone. He had ruined her life. Jenny's life. Her mother's. She would never stop fighting him.

She wiped a tear away, summoning what courage she had left. "I can't, Andy."

He reached out across the table towards her, mirroring an action Ichabod had done not so long ago in that very place. Abbie took it as a sign that she was making the right decision.

"Abbie, take a minute and think about this. I promise you that you will not be able to love Ichabod back in the mortal world. You will want to more than anything, but it will not happen."

Abbie was unmoved. None of that mattered. She would be with Ichabod. She made herself believe that even if he was with Katrina, she could handle it. She could do whatever was asked of her to keep him safe. She could live out her life alone as long as she was breathing the same air as he was and they could sit together every so often and she could look into his eyes and know that he was alive.

"I'll stay with you, Abbie," Andy said suddenly, his voice thick and she knew he was serious. "I'll stay with you in Purgatory. Forever. You won't be alone."

The promise of eternal companionship stopped her cold for a few seconds. She had been so alone for most of her life and until Ichabod, she had thought it would always be that way. But he had made her realize that maybe there was a future for her that held friendship, understanding, safety and love. If she accepted Andy's offer, it would be a betrayal of everything they had meant to each other. She had only one choice, one decision, one answer.

"I won't do it, Andy. Not ever. While there's breath in my body and even after, Moloch will never have my soul."

The moment the last word was out of her mouth, a horrible black wind blew through the dollhouse, swirling her hair around her face and stealing her breath.

Moloch.

His screams soon overtook the howling of the wind and he shimmered into existence in front of them and inside her last bastion of safety, no matter how untrue it was. She pushed herself to his feet and tried to resist the urge to run and hide. She had to be strong in front of him.

His entire body seemed to vibrate with anger and he was bent low and dangerous, horns glimmering in Purgatory's moonlight.

"You have refused me for the last time! I condemn you to a living death in the mortal world!" he shrieked, the veins in his neck bulging with rage. "You shall never know peace or love or respite! And love will never thrive between the Witnesses!"

Abbie felt his anger almost as though it were a physical blow and the terror it left in its wake made her knees tremble. She kept telling herself that none of what he said mattered because in the end, she would still be with Ichabod. She could keep him safe. It wouldn't matter if she was tortured by her choice for as long as she lived. It wouldn't matter if he chose Katrina and could only see her as a friend. It didn't matter if she yearned forever for that piece of her that was now held within the confines of Ichabod's soul or if she were tormented by not being able to love him. He would be alive and happy and she would find a way to find some joy in the mere presence of his own.

"One day, Abigail," Moloch said, his voice low and tempered and all the more frightening, "you will beg me to take your soul. You will beg for a reprieve from the agony, but even then, I will deny you. I will force you to take your own life to escape from the pain, and then your soul will truly be forfeit to me and be mine for all of eternity."

Abbie shivered, feeling fear skitter down her back like icy fingers and looked to Andy hopefully, but he looked at her evenly, all traces of compassion gone. His eyes were as black and cold as a winter's night.

"I told you I would take care of you. You're on your own now. You always will be. I'm sorry, Abbie."

Instantly, Moloch reached down and grabbed Abbie by her wounded shoulder, his claws tearing into her flesh again. She cried out and felt fresh blood gush from the wound and run down her arm.

He leaned down close to her and looked into her eyes. So close that Abbie could feel his hot, pungent breath on her cheek and she could see the very depths of Hell in his eyes and every evil and degenerate emotion or event or person who had ever existed. They were all there, writhing in the murky abyss of his gaze and it was the most terrifying thing she had ever seen. She felt that if she looked long enough, some of that wickedness would seep into her soul and poison her from within.

Moloch held her in silence like that for a few awful moments before he spoke and all the while Abbie felt his claws sinking deeper – down to the bone of her shoulder – and the pain was almost too much to bear. Only the thought of Ichabod and what she was doing for him kept her silent.

"And the great dragon was cast out!" Moloch bellowed at last and he raised Abbie up even higher. She screamed, the pain rushing through her like electricity, sending fiery flashes out to her fingertips.

Moloch waited not another second before he hurled her against the wall of the dollhouse as hard as he could.

Abbie filled her mind with Ichabod's beautiful face; wanting him to be the last thing she saw because she was certain that she would not survive. She braced herself for the impact and the sound of bones breaking and was surprised when, instead she landed with a soft thud and rolled…

Onto the grass of a baseball field.