They sit facing one another, one weeks time from the night they confessed their love to each other, and she denied him their bearskin, their union, their lust... but here she is, his eyes no less full of warmth and joy for her smiles, no loss of the open smiles he gives her, the most visible expressions of his true heart-felt appreciation for her; her love makes no demand of proof, nor need for the heat of their joined flesh to receive from him. His gift is unconditionally given, this most blessed of things he gives to her simply by gazing at her - his love.
He winks at her smile as he pours her and Wynne another draught of wine taken from a very full wine cellar of a very dead fool.
(What are you man? That all you need from me is for me to be to love me? I am not worthy of this generous love of yours - But I will be.) She smiles at him at this most auspicious of celebrations... Howe lays dead by his hands in a stolen estate; the ignorant fools who had attempted to imprison her Aeden slain; and the master of the bitch who led them, Loghain, faces annihilation at his capable hands as well... her love. She almost swoons as she gazes at his smile... she had indeed chose well, and yet so very terribly wrong. She looks too long into his soft,kind eyes, and he once more 'feels' her true heart. (is it the ring?)
"What is it?" he asks, in his genuine concern, taking gentle hold of her hand.
She thinks of the two of them, her Aeden and her, then of the request she needs to make, her reasons; and then realizes as she peers into the last things on earth she wants to see before she exists only in song and stories, with absolute clarity, the true enormity of this glorious fact that she never fully spoke aloud to him, (why wait?) "I love you my Aeden," she whispered as his attention is momentarily diverted by one of Loghain men entering the tavern.
The Kunari, Sten as she called him now, stands up and stares the fool down.
Her Aeden turns back to her, "What was it you said?," he asks gently.
The moment of bravery is gone as his eyes grip her tongue. She gets up, "I loath that lute, my head aches," she lies and, glowering at the bard in the corner as he continues to strum on blissfully unaware of the aggressive crowds indifference to him, "I need air, stay here, Loghain's men are looking for you, not me. I'll be back." She kisses him, her lips lingering longer than they ever had before, then exits the tavern in a huff as her tears come pouring from her eyes.
She walks several blocks away props herself up against a building and begins to weep. After several seconds a pair of gentle hands caress her shoulders, not his. "As a woman you should know when another wants to be alone," she says through gritted teeth. "We have had our distractions with one another... can you not be without another woman's hand between your legs for more than a week, Assassin? Do you not fear your Chantry's image of the 'Maker's' all present, all judging eyes on your fornications with a malificar?"
"Do you fear falling in love with him this much?," Leliana says without a hint of anger, "Or do you fear the fact you cannot control falling into it?"
"What?" she answers indignantly, and pulls herself away forcibly from the hands on her shoulders,"go recite your sad poetry to the wind as you do nightly, leave me to my strategies for tomorrows meeting with this betrayer Loghain, fool." and begins to walk away.
Her own dagger is flung at her feet, sticking into the ground only a few inches in front of her. She freezes.
"Elves are not the only ones who can spy." the Chantry sister states bluntly, "What are you so frightened of YOU would rather die than face? He WILL die one day, you cannot prevent that; the only thing you can prevent is where YOU are when that happens. Alone and miserable thinking of him, or at his side, sharing his last minutes with him?. Morrigan, you may not want to hear it, but I can tell you where he would tell you where he would want you to be if he didn't love you as he does..."
'SHUT UP! SHUT YOUR SIMPERING MOUTH! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT I FEAR! I CARE NOTHING FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS, MY OWN COMFORT! I DO DESPERATLY WANT TO BE WITH HIM OH YES, LIKE I WANT AIR! I NEED HIM LIKE I NEED LIFE! I WANT TO BE THE ONE TO LAY WITH HIM IN THE BED NOW, TOMMOROW, AND FOREVER IN THE EARTH, TILL WE BECOME NOT BUT VAPOR IN THE AIR! But I love him more than my own desires, my own wants. I hate that I will break his true heart; I would rather rip my own out so I would be spared the agony of that knowledge; but there is so much left to be done... in the name of this love than just the selfish bliss of these two lovers. HE taught me the value of others lives, others rights to be free. How can two people rest peacefully in the bed warmed by the heat of their shared passions when there are so many others that are denied the simple, glorious gifts to be free, and love who they will unafraid, by so few, when those two have the means to change it right in their hands? Who are you to speak of love? when those YOU worship have corrupted it, and twisted it to restrict the free expression of that emotion to others whose only crime was being born in the image and with the gifts your compassionate spirit created them to have. Yes, I said it, the human fools, NOT the great spirit who they think they can exploit!' These words she wants to say, to scream.
Leliana stands silently.
Morrigan simply picks up the dagger, puts it in her belt and turns cooly to the bard, "thank you for your continued discretion. Our private, intimate moments together were not wasted after all, and will remain so as long as you keep proving yourself worthy of trust... Leliana." then kisses her softly, "get some rest, tomorrow we unite a nation." and walks away.