betaread by gkmoberg1

I'm not Done by Fever Ray

is it dark already?

how light is a light?

do you laugh while screaming?

is it cold outside?

Chapter 24

Cato and Winnow hardly slept. They went through the motions of trying to find some rest – but neither teenager could doze off for more than a few minutes. So they lay in each other's arms, still and silent until dawn approached.

Cato lay on his side with Winnow behind him, her arms wrapped around him. The hand that held his mother's ring – no, Winnow's ring, rested over his heart. It had been Cato that needed the comforting that night, not Winnow.

She felt that he was already grieving for her and for their relationship – even when she still lay beside him. Winnow was entirely aware of their situation – but she wouldn't let herself mourn. She wanted to die completely and irrevocably in love.

With bright lines streaking across the early morning sky, Cato dragged his fingers lightly across the back of her Winnow's left hand. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his neck. The blond didn't respond, his gaze still settled on her hand and the ring on her finger.

Winnow huffed before nipping his ear gently – earning a glare from her lover. "I'm not dead yet. Don't ignore me as if I am." she ordered quietly.

"I'm not." Cato said.

"It feels like you are." Winnow retorted sharply.

The blond sighed and turned over to face her. "I'm sorry." he breathed, cupping the dark-haired girl's cheek. Her pale blue eyes flickered away for but a moment – and she nodded. "I just-" Cato started before breaking off with a heavy sigh. "No matter what we do, no matter who wins – we won't be together."

Winnow nodded slowly in acknowledgment. "Fire-Bitch and Lover-boy are going to win, I just know it-" she paused at the look of scandal on her lover's features. "-but they don't know us at all if they think we'll go down without a fight." Winnow added, a look of harsh determination coating her expression. It was a look that promised blood.

"You're planning on dying?" Cato questioned. His brows drew together, his expression vulnerable and quite miserable, to be honest.

The dark-haired girl shrugged. "There are only two outcomes for me, Cato. And one's-" she began, shaking her head. "- one's impossible." she concluded.

"What's impossible?" the blond asked.

"You and I leaving this arena together – alive." Winnow answered, voice breaking at the end.

"And the other?" Cato inquired reluctantly.

She sighed and closed her eyes. "I die-"

"No-" Cato interjected.

Winnow shook her head at him. "No, Cato. You can't ask me to survive this. You can't ask me to go home, go back to having no-one. Not after having everything," she insisted.

"What about Finnick?" he asked.

Winnow looked up at him with a dumbfounded expression. "Finnick? He's like a brother, Cato, but – but – he's not -" he's not you.

Cato stared down at her – watching as her eyes filled with pleading as she begged him to understand. To understand that she had no-one before being reaped. To understand that she couldn't stand to go back to that.

"I don't want to be empty again, Cato." Winnow whispered brokenly. "And if I lose you…"

Cato wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her close. "You won't – I won't let you." he promised. If that was all she really wanted – he would try to give it to her.

They lay in that tight embrace until the sun appeared in the sky, unhampered by the horizon. Then the teenagers slowly got up and ready for the day. They each took little sips from their canteens before setting them aside as they prepared to pack up their camp and move it closer to the center of the arena.

Cato packed the waterproof tarp into their empty pack, along with as many blankets as they could fit into the pack's limited space. Barring their weapons and canteens, the little shelter was all they had left.

Winnow picked up the sword and trident as Cato put the pack on – holding the sword out to him when she thought him ready. The blond accepted the sword and then caught her wrist and pulled. Winnow stumbled into him clumsily, looking up at him in confusion.

Cato's only explanation for his actions was the searing kiss he laid on her lips – leaving her a bit senseless – and a little grin on his lips. "So where should we go?" he asked her.

Winnow shook her head a bit – as if clearing out the cobwebs – before glancing to her lover with a puzzled expression. "What?"

Cato let out a short chuckle – his chest puffing out in pride. It wasn't often that Winnow became distracted – and for it to be a result of his kiss – it was a point of pride for the young man. "Where should we go – for water?" he asked again.

The dark-haired girl made an assenting noise and thought for a moment. "The lake. It's probably all that's left. We'll find it if we follow the creek – er, where the creek used to be…" she suggested. Cato nodded, gesturing for Winnow to lead.

The two tributes hiked along the dried up creek for hours under the hot sun. It was just about noon – the sun directly above them. Their canteens were long bone-dry and they were quite thirsty.

Cato and Winnow finally came upon some water a short distance from the lake. The creek there hadn't quite dried up yet – a thin trickle of water moved through the dusty river bed.

They jumped down from the shore quickly – kneeling beside the little stream. Winnow held her canteen under the stream first – the water petering out before it was half-full. Cato and Winnow traded looks of dismay. "This is better than none," she said quickly.

Cato nodded reluctantly – accepting the canteen after she took a quick swig. "We'll get to the edge of the field and set up camp there – then we'll look for water." Cato suggested.

Winnow nodded in agreement – taking back her canteen to screw the cap on – and save the little water they had for later. The two tributes walked through the fields for another half-hour. They picked a spot for their camp about ten yards from where the fields ended.

After Cato set down his heavy pack, he and Winnow crossed the final distance and looked out from the wheat fields – to see the lake. It was full – teeming at the edges with fresh, clear water.

Winnow smacked her chapped, dry lips together. Cato glanced back and forth – surveying the area and finding it empty. Then the two Careers burst forth from the fields and sprinted the short distance to the lake.

They dropped to their knees at the shore – forgoing all pretense of grace and cupped their hands under the water to bring it to their mouths greedily. Cato and Winnow drank and drank until their bellies were full and sated – feeling almost bloated.

"We forgot the canteens," Winnow remarked when she realized the heavy metal bottle was not dangling at her side.

Cato shrugged. "It's alright. We'll come back." he reassured her.

He stood suddenly, sword gripped tight in his hand. Winnow followed suit, grabbing up her trident. "What is it?" she questioned – her eyes searching where she saw Cato's eyes directed.

"It's nothing." Cato said, taking her arm. "We shouldn't be out in the open like this." he added – towing her back towards the wheat field.

"Are you sure?" Winnow asked, glancing back.

Cato nodded. "Help me set up the tarp," he requested as he started to empty their pack's contents. She made her way over to him and began to help without comment.

It was as Cato secured the tarp's edges to the ground that Winnow collected their canteens, throwing the straps over her shoulder. "I'll go fill the canteens." she remarked – only taking a few steps away before her lover's voice stopped her.

"I'll go with you!" Cato exclaimed, immediately stopping what he was doing and reaching for his sword.

Winnow shook her head. "I'll be fine, Cato." she told him, a hint of annoyance in her tone.

"No, from now on we go nowhere alone." Cato said stubbornly.

The dark-haired girl just chuckled and shook her head. She crossed the short distance between them and pressed a kiss to the corner of her lover's mouth. "It's not that far. I'll be fine." she insisted.

"Winnow-" Cato said uneasily.

"I'll call for you if I need you, okay?" Winnow suggested – her tone was clear. It left no room for argument. Cato nodded reluctantly and Winnow walked away – trident in hand.

As Cato finished setting up the tarp, he couldn't shake his nervousness. It had only been a few minutes since Winnow had left – he saw no reason to worry, but he also saw no reason not to check on her.

Cato didn't care if Winnow would be angry with him. He was protective for good reason. There were two other people in this arena trying to kill them. Not to mention the Gamemakers.

He scooped up his sword and headed for the lake- emerging from the wheat fields and looking for Winnow. She was crouching at the shore, filling their canteens. Cato was to her left, so he knew she would be able to hear him.

"Winnie!" he called, waving with his free hand. Winnow looked up at him and smiled – her eyes crinkling around the edges – and she looked back down to her task.

Starting towards her, Cato began to survey the area again – and his heart went cold with fear. To Winnow's right – Katniss and Peeta were emerging from the forest. And Katniss had an arrow nocked on her bow.

"WINNOW!" Cato bellowed urgently – his gait switching from a casual walk to an all-out run.

Winnow heard his tone and spun around – grabbing for her trident beside her. As she began to rise to her feet, an arrow struck her in the chest.

"NO!" Cato screamed as Winnow stumbled back – arms flailing - and fell into the water. Cato raced toward his fallen lover – his panic completely overwhelming the idea of going after his enemies.

Katniss raised her bow again – an arrow ever ready at its strings – but Peeta placed his hand on her shoulder. He shook his head at her, and she slowly lowered her bow. The District Twelve tributes disappeared back into the forest.

"Winnow!" Cato shouted again, carelessly splashing into the water and dragging her limp form onto the rocky shore. "Winnow! Winnie, no! Don't leave me," he pleaded, slapping her pale cheeks to try and revive her.

He pressed his hand over the wound, fingers spread around the arrow's shaft - trying to staunch the blood flow. Cato found his hand quickly became sticky with blood – but the pain of his action caused Winnow to cough and her eyes to fly open.

"Winnow," Cato cupped her face with his free hand as he continued to apply pressure to her wound – making her cough again and blood paint her lips. "Winnie, don't go!" he pleaded, his voice breaking.

Winnow moved her arm with much effort – her hand trembling as she touched Cato's face. He could see the fear and agony in her pale blue eyes. She coughed again, blood spilling onto her chin.

"You o-owe me a k-kiss," she rasped – referring to when she had had him hanging in their trap a mere two days ago. It seemed so long ago now.

Cato exhaled a shaky laugh as tears began to spill from his eyes. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers – mustering as much feeling, as much love as he could into that one last kiss.

He drew away reluctantly after a long moment. Winnow's eyes were open, but those clear blue eyes were unseeing and glassy. A cannon echoed through the arena. Cato let out a body-wracking sob as he heard the noise, his arms going limp and Winnow nearly falling from them.

Cato tightened his arms again, crushing his lover against his chest and cried. Cried for all their love, for all their pain and the future they lost. He wept uncaring of how all of Panem saw him.

It wasn't until he heard the motor of the hovercraft approaching that Cato came to his senses. He looked up into the sky, seeing the machine on the horizon.

Cato lay Winnow down onto the shore, careful to not let her fall. He arranged her arms over her chest, laying her left hand over her right. He traced the ring on her finger lightly and leaned down to kiss Winnow one last time.

He pulled away, tears stinging his eyes anew. Her lips were cold. It didn't feel right. He stood slowly and walked around Winnow to collect the canteens.

Cato nearly tripped over something as he went to leave. Looking down, he found Winnow's trident. He bent and collected it – and then he returned to her body. He gave her something to clasp – laying the trident gently across her chest.

He stared down at Winnow's – corpse, for that was what she was now. A corpse. It was a truth that broke Cato, stabbed at his heart and tore at his soul.

It took all of his strength to walk away from her.

The hovercraft only came once Cato stood amidst the wheat. He watched – suddenly dry-eyed, as the hovercraft's claw lowered and collected Winnow's body. Halfway up, the trident clattered to the ground and a lifeless arm hung free from the claw.

one thing I know for certain

oh I'm pretty sure

it ain't over

I'm not done

Bear one thing in mind here, Readers. The story is not over. There is ONEmore chapter - and two more installments (Panem et Circuses & Saltwater Sting). This might seem final... but it's all intentional. Review.

Also, your reviews have been wonderful. Thanks to all of you - Lizzy B, Mellurker, Sabie0521, AE, bakannia, a7xluver91, and HermioneandMarcus!

CHAPTER 25 will be posted 9/22/14.

Whether you are reading this a week, a month, or a year after it was posted, please remember that I'm always looking for input on my writing and what you think of my stories. Please use the Review area conveniently placed at the bottom of this page to let me have it - whatever you want to say - go ahead, make my day. Thanks!