Slow Way Home
Chapter 4

[Day 8 of 45]

Waking up Jamie Tabitha Kirk found herself alone in bed. Faint memories of a nightmare the night before then waking up and crying all over her husband filled her mind. She couldn't help the embarrassed blush that crossed her face.

It was mortifying. She didn't cry over every nightmare. Though, she had to admit, that nightmare included her worst fear. Probably the worst fear of every mother along with recent events which made it nearly happen.

Sighing she leaned against the pillows, her body still sore and feeling heavy. Silently she pushed herself to stand though everything protested. She needed to shower and she needed to eat. Shower first, eat second. She hadn't eaten since the test and her body was complaining vehemently. But she wanted to feel clean.

Moving to the bathroom she walked to the sonic shower.

It didn't take long for all the grime to come off. Then she stepped out, replicating herself another black uniform. From there she headed toward the door but was cut off by her absent husband who walked in carrying a tray of food.

"The Doctor has informed me that your last meal was an apple on earth," Spock said as the door closed behind him. Then he took it to a little table in the center of the room. Walking over she saw toast, pancakes, sausage, bacon, and eggs. She wondered how many of his replicator rations he used on the breakfast.

"Spock, you didn't have to do this," she told him. Though most would call the look he gave her detached she saw his stubbornness and his annoyance. "Seriously. If I eat all this at once I'll get sick."

He nodded.

"Eat what you can without making yourself ill," he told her. She shook her head at him wondering if she'd ever learn to deal with his mood swings. At least now they were being civil – and he wasn't marooning her. She hadn't forgotten that little incident, she just wanted to attempt to be civil for the moment.

"Thank you," she told him. Then she sat down while he grabbed the only piece of Vulcan food from the table – plomeek soup. "And, I'm sorry about my little episode last night."

"What episode are you speaking of?" he asked, sounding confused.

"Crying on you because of a nightmare," she told him before taking a bite of toast. He went to argue but she groaned at how good the toast tasted.

"There is no need to apologize for a natural reaction," he told her and she frowned but just took another bite of toast. She ate both slices of toast, about half the eggs and the smallest of the three pancakes. She didn't bother going for the bacon or sausage.

She then bit her lips.

"We have children," she said suddenly, needing to get it out there. She couldn't keep the secret. Secrets didn't help anyone. Looking at him there wasn't any surprise in his features and she knew somebody told him which annoyed the hell out of her.

"The captain already informed me," Spock told her. "I apologize that I was not there when they were young." She heard his sadness in his words.

"I tried calling everyday for a year. But the consulate wouldn't let me through and then they told me you weren't on Vulcan anymore and wouldn't tell me where you'd gone. I didn't realize you were on Earth."

"I assumed you would not want to be a part of Starfleet. I remember you said that your father was killed in the line of duty and you'd seemed… angry at the time," he told her. "I've been searching for you but…"

"My information is labeled private. Growing up people always wanted interviews with 'the Kelvin Baby' and… I had to block it to get privacy," she admitted, hating how people only ever saw her father and the Kelvin. Her thoughts drifted off to the older Spock. She wondered what that world would have been like.

Only she was interrupted by Spock moving to stand.

"I zoned out… I'm sorry," she muttered.

"You are still recovering. Doctor McCoy will be back shortly to check on you," he told her. She frowned, hating that Spock was so worried about her. She felt him pushing at her barriers which weren't as thick as before. She wasn't as angry and hurt anymore.

Yes, it was still there, but now she just wanted to get home. She wanted to get home, to her children. She must have zoned again because she squeaked as Spock picked her up, again, and carried her to the bed.

"What's with you and carrying me?" she asked annoyed. She wouldn't admit that the idea that he was holding her, that close, had her wanting to reach out and kiss him. She had to keep herself from shifting in his arms.

She was a woman after all. And she was one who had been without sex for a very long time.

He sat her on the bed but didn't respond. Then he went to clean up breakfast. It annoyed the hell out of her. But she didn't argue. Instead she laid back into Spock's pillows. She was still tired – maybe exhausted was a better description. She slid to sleep with ease.

~Slow Way Home~

Lady Amanda Grayson knew she wasn't like most women. She wasn't backward with her opinion when she needed to be, she could be the perfect Vulcan mother and wife when the situation dictated it, she could be ambassador if need be. But she was always a mother first – and now grandmother.

But she had two children now, with two grandchildren. One child was her blood and one was through marriage. And her daughter-in-law was hurt. This required she check in on her despite what her husband said.

So she went to her son's door, waiting to be let in.

Her son answered the door and she smelt incense and saw dim lighting. He moved to grant her access so she entered.

"Is she…" Amanda asked but her son shook his head.

"She is asleep," he stated. "She is still recovering."

"Has she said anything?" Amanda asked as she stepped into the room, smelling incense. This was the commander's quarters meaning they were larger than the regular room. There was a separate area through a doorway that led to a bedroom. An office which, if they remained on the ship, could be turned into a room for the twins. Then there was the main room in which all the others extended. This included the bathroom which led to the captain's quarters.

"We have talked," he told her vaguely.

"About?" she questioned, being a nosy mother. But her son could be so dense sometimes. She needed to make sure he actually spoke to his wife and not in inconsequential ways either.

"She had a nightmare and it unsettled her to the point she was in tears," he informed her and she saw how… concerned he really was about that. "She apologized for her reaction this morning. Then she corrected me on how much food I purchased for her sitting the fact if she ate it all she would become ill. Then we discussed our children in minor detail."

"Anything else?" Amanda asked. He shook his head.

"She did not seem upset with me this morning?" Spock said and Amanda looked at her son with a cocked head.

"I wouldn't bet on that, Spock. You abandoned her on an ice planet where she could have died. You basically ignored her and insulted how much she knew about you," Amanda reminded her son while Spock seemed to bow his head in shame. "She's probably trying to be civil for now. But be prepared. When that dam breaks, you may want to be ready to run. It won't be pretty." He frowned at her words. "That means there will be a lot of yelling, a lot of anger. Imagine your temper, your wife's temper, And an enclosed space with both of you feeling you were right and not about to admit one of you may have been wrong."

He actually shivered at the image.

"Logic will not be able to sooth her," he stated.

"Now you're getting it. And, by the way, your thoughts were not logical. Now, change of subject. How are you taking the discovery that you're a father?" Amanda asked when she heard the shuffling of blankets.

"I am not sure I understand," he told his mother.

"You understand, you just won't acknowledge it," she said, leveling him with a glare. He nodded.

"I am finding the idea of fatherhood… unnerving I believe is the word," he told her. "They are already children. I have missed all of their early development. I… I am not sure how I should be feeling."

"And the fact your daughter is very human?" she asked.

"I am thankful for that," he stated automatically. "She will be just as strong willed as her mother. This assures she will be able to withstand the persecution brought by other Vulcans. Her brother… he will try to logically understand. But the emotion will always escape him."

"You wish he wasn't as Vulcan as you?" Amanda asked, pushing her son verbally. She ignored the swoosh of the door though her son didn't seem to notice. He was too wrapped in his thoughts.

"I… I am proud that he is Vulcan. But I fear for him," Spock admitted. "He will not understand other people. He will understand logic, and science, but not those around him."

"He understands more than the average Vulcan," Dr. McCoy said and they turned to face him. "Then again, considering he has a human twin sister, a mother like Jim, a bunch of humans teaching him, and… My daughter… as his best friend he understands more of humanity than he'd care to admit. Now, where is the brat?"

"Excuse me?" Spock asked.

"Through there, sleeping," Lady Amanda Grayson told the Doctor. Spock went to speak and she shook her head at her son, stopping him.

He went into the room and Spock watched the Doctor scan her.

"She's healing nicely," the Doctor said returning. "Make sure she stays in bed."

"Understood," Spock told the Doctor who then excused himself. Things lulled off.

[First off, I would like to apologize for the delay in reviewing… I just graduated high school two weeks ago and now have a job which takes up the time I used to spend on writing. Anyways… what do you think? Do you like it, hate it, neutral? I would love to hear any comments or concerns…

I would also like to send a special thanks to Anime Princess, gilmorefreak23, BetahimeTsukiko, ilovgaara99, NewSlove, Fernsfairie (3xs), cuteepiee1, RubyHair, Yana5, blueoctober, MirrorFlower and DarkWind (3xs), and Fire Dolphin (3xs) for your reviews. Anyways, sorry again...]