Chapter 33

Close to a month after Claire had opened her eyes she was headed home. It was chilly outside that day and she shivered as she waited on the car to be pulled around for her. It was near the end of February and she was so far behind on her plans for her rehabilitation center that she felt as though she were at the beginning. Everyone told her not to worry about it that she had all the time in the world to get it done but she couldn't help it. It was more important to her now than ever.

As the car pulled up to the curb where she waited she smiled at Matt, thankful that he had stuck with her, never giving up on her. She was truly blessed to have a friend like him. That thought reminded her of the necklace he'd given her for Christmas. "Matt do you know if anyone found my necklace? You know the one you had given me for Christmas. I seem to remember that Logan ripped off of my neck, but that's about it."

Matt took her hand and smiled. "I have it waiting on you at your house. I found it and had the chain repaired. Your mom had all of the carpet ripped up and new put in because there were places that just wouldn't come clean. Your house is as good as new, and thanks to God so are you."

Claire smiled at him and wondered as he pulled out onto the busy street just how it would feel walking back into her house. The last time she'd been in it she'd almost been killed. Would she be able to sleep alone in the place, to function inside the walls that knew the terror of that long ago day, she thought? The questions popped into her head like the kernels of popping corn, one new thought coming to life almost immediately after the one before it. Lost in her thoughts she didn't even realize that there were tears falling until she felt Matt reach out to wipe them away.

"Hey you," he whispered. "It's all going to be okay. He's in jail and he can't hurt you now. I know that going back to this house is going to be hard on you, but you're strong. Hell, you're probably the strongest person I know. You can do this, but it will take time. If you need me or want me too, I'm more than willing to stay with you until you're okay with being in that place alone."

Claire shook her head and forced a smile. "I can do this, I have to. Besides, mom will be there I'm sure. I don't know that I can get her to leave now. You've given up so much for me already I feel like. You need to take time for you and focus on you and your life. I'm sure PJ would love seeing you and having some Claire free time."

"He'd deal with it though. He loves you just as much as I do, ya know?" He squeezed her hand and smiled as they pulled into her drive way. "Here we are. You ready to go in?"

"I think I just need a minute," Claire whispered. Looking at the house that had been a safe haven for her once upon a time she felt her whole body tremble. That safe haven had been shattered in one night. No amount of cleaning and new carpet could erase the memories. She appreciated the thought, appreciated the love in the actions but no one could ever fully understand the lasting effect.

Ten minutes passed by in silence before Claire wordlessly opened her door and got out of the car. She slowly began walking toward the front door, as though she never wanted to reach it. Matt came up beside of her and took her hand and pulled her into a hug.

"Come on babe, we will do this together." He smiled down at her and softly kissed her forehead. "Let's go."

With a deep breath she held onto his hand tightly and began walking toward the front door. What she couldn't say out loud was that she was terrified that as soon as she opened the door to walk in the whole scene would replay itself right in front of her eyes. She'd lived it once; she wasn't so sure she could live through it again. She knew that Matt would understand but in telling him then she would be making that fear all too real and that would only increase the chances of it happening.

When they reached the door Matt reached out to turn the knob to let them inside. "No, wait, let me do it," Claire said quietly. "I need to do this."

She slowly opened the door and saw her mom rise up from the couch and start to walk over to meet her. Behind her mother she saw PJ, Steve Kiern, and of all people Stephen. She wasn't sure what he was doing here but she let it go. He wasn't the bad guy. She may not like him, his size alone might unnerve her and even scare her a bit, but something was a little different about being in the same room as him now, even if she couldn't put her finger on it.

Her mom looked at her a moment before her hand went to her mouth as she choked back the tears. "Mom, please don't cry."

"I was so afraid that I wouldn't see you walking through that door ever again. I was terrified that that horrible man had finally taken you away from me forever. I can't tell you what I would have done had I lost you." Her mom's tears fell down her cheeks from eyes that had aged so much the last few months. The older woman wrapped her arms around her daughter and hugged her tightly. "I love you so very much dear."

Choking on her tears Claire whispered "I love you too mom." Then she pulled away from her mother's embrace and turned toward the other two men in the room. "Thank you both for being here, and for the calls and cards and flowers while I was in the hospital. It really meant a lot."

Steve Kiern came forward then and wrapped her in a big hug. "I am so thankful that you're okay Claire, and I am so very sorry that you had to go through this hell. I've said it before and I still mean it, you're like a daughter to me and I was worried sick about you. I kept pestering Matt and anyone else who I thought might have a clue for details on how you were doing."

Claire smiled broadly. "I'm fine, really I am. Thank you so much for being there and for caring so much. You're so much like a dad to me. It feels like he sent you to me, to take care of me since he was gone." Then Claire turned to Stephen and silently walked to where the big man stood. She hesitantly rose to her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. In a voice only he could hear she whispered, "Thank you for visiting me when you did and thank you for coming here when Matt asked you too. If you hadn't of, then I wouldn't be here today."

The big man looked down at his shoes when she stepped away, fighting the urge to grab her and pull her close. "It was nothing, really. I'm just glad you're okay."

"Well thankfully I'm better than okay, I'm alive. Now, all that is out of the way, so you guys sit back and relax while I cook some dinner."

"Claire why don't you just sit and let me fix something," her mom said. "You just came home and rest might be better for you than getting in the kitchen and messing around."

Claire smiled and thought briefly about taking her mom's kindhearted suggestion. "No, mom, I need to get in there. I need to get the memories over with and I'd rather do it when I'm surrounded by those who care." Smiling still Claire turned and headed toward the kitchen. She paused where the carpet gave way to the wood flooring and felt her heart beat quicken and her head start to spin. Reaching out to steady herself, she felt the coolness of the counter and instantly felt better. She realized then that she was burning up. She flipped a switch and the ceiling fan started stirring cool air and the breeze felt wonderful against her heated skin. She closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the cool air before opening the refrigerator to get dinner supplies out. She didn't even notice Matt as he came up behind her.

"Claire, are you alright?"

She turned and smiled at him. "I'm fine yes. I'm just fine. Want to help me fix dinner? I was thinking a nice homemade lasagna with garlic bread on the side, salads. How's that sound?"

Matt just smiled at her and began taking out the supplies that they would need and helping her fix dinner.