For Kimbercullen, who requested: "zombie apocalypse."
"I think Sam's better suited for this job."
Sam raises his eyebrows in silent challenge - daring Deeks to continue.
"You know, because you're -" he waves his hands in Sam's general direction, "bigger."
"Excuse me?"
"You'd be much more of an attractor."
Callen doesn't even bother smothering his laugh. "I think he's saying he's attracted to you, big guy."
"No, not like - you're just meatier."
"He wants to sink his teeth into you."
"I mean," Deeks continues over Callen's continued amusement, "you offer them up a big heaping pile of Sam or a little plate of scrawny me and it wouldn't even be a choice, really."
"If I'd had the choice..." Kensi says with a smirk.
Deeks glares.
"You don't think I'd have snagged Sam instead if he was single? He is meatier."
"That's not funny."
Kensi shakes her head with a laugh. "What's funny is that you think continuing to talk is helping your case."
Deeks lifts his hands in a helpless gesture. "I'm right though, right? I mean, we should make Sam be the bait, it's just logic."
"Logic," Sam says between gritted teeth, "would be for me to chop you up and toss your parts in different directions. That'd really get them off our trail."
Deeks frowns.
Callen slaps his thighs and stands. "So, then, it looks like it's up to you. You can be bait as whole Deeks or piecemeal Deeks."
He sighs and stands as well. "I'm starting to feel like my vote doesn't carry much weight in this particular democracy."
Callen pats him on the back and gestures toward the door. "Tell it to the zombies."