It's so bright now. It's like staring the sun down for a millennium. It not pure white light though. The light is shined through a green filter. This light is the lightest and whitest green you can possible imagine. What a hideous color. Although, it's not unfamiliar. This color has defined be for my entire lifetime. I was born with it- if you can call it a birth. This is the last color I wanted to see.

Oh now I get it:

I'm in hell.

Fan-frickin-tastic.

I'm dead and I'm in hell.

Wait, but where are all the other assholes like me? Did i get a private cell in hell? Do they deliver room service?

Wait wait. This could be worse than I thought.

As my eyes adjust to the light I see floating reflective sphere. As the evidence would suggest, I am not in hell. I am regenerating inside my crystal.

Great...

I have to regenerate. Worse still, I have to reach into a floating orb of "me" and dig out my favorite bits. It isn't really limbs and eyeballs, it's more like concepts and ideas. The idea of what I will be is lodged in a ball of dark green goop. To better understand this, imagine a goodie grab-bag with a bunch of delicious treats inside. Thats what gets me through this most disturbing of trials. The only difference would be that this grab bag might actually grab back.

As disturbing as it is, yes, the ball can grab back. Since the ball is not just a symbol, it is literally my thoughts and ideas of what I am. The idea of control, that's the illusion. Yes, I get to pick a few thing, but those concepts are actually want to be picked. This is why I hate regeneration. So enough delay. Let's get this over with.

I roll up my non-existent sleeves and reach into the syrup. I try not to look into it's depths. Its probably 10 times my size and god knows what could be in there. Hmm seems a little bit bigger than last time...

They used to tell me than everyone's experience is different during regeneration. I don't bother with follow up questions very often so I'm not sure how different it is. I guess it doesn't much matter.

Regardless, i was able to find some of my ideal descriptors. Some confidence: most times makes me a bit taller. A little creativity which for some reason gives me brown hair, go figure. Of course a touch of uninhibited thought, which happens to make me look a bit like a jerk. Or maybe that's just me. Anyway, I grab a few much final touches and call it a body. Now to walk out the door. I think that bit is symbolic as well, but who cares.

My eyes see only a flash and they soon adjust to the soft glow of the morning sun. I am laid at the shore with the ocean kissing my body awake. When I sit up I see the shimmer of light across the coast. It's simply amazing how i was able to walk through a beast-infested town, swim into shark-infested waters, and still wake in the morning the same beast-infested town without a scratch. What's even more amazing is that I still have not seen a single beast since I was at the university. But then again I have yet to turn around.

Just thinking about it makes my hair stand on end. I really don't want to do it but I know i have to turn around. "Maybe they aren't there" I think to myself. God dammit, there is no way I can be so lucky. I start to twist my body to the right as slowly as I can bare. Wish me luck.

"Fuck"