For anon, who requested, "Lady Phase."

"Shit."

Yup, that was it.

"Kens," he calls through the closed bathroom door. "You okay in there?"

"Damn it."

"Kensalina? Is everything okay?"

She groans.

"Do I need to come in there? Are we at that point in our relationship? I mean - I've seen you naked and everything, like, with the lights on even - but peeing is sort of -"

"Deeks!"

"Right, yeah." He hesitates, hand over the knob. "Does that mean you want me to come in?"

"It's just," she says after a little more groaning. "It's just my period."

His heart drops into his chest and then bounces right back up and lodges in his throat. Her period? Did she - are they - does that -

"You missed your period?"

"Oh, no. I didn't miss it. It's here."

His heart drops back down again and settles right in his gut. He decides to file that away and analyze it later. Right after he signs up for acupuncture.

He clears his throat and leans closer to the door. "Okay, so, uh - do you like need emergency chocolate or something? How does this work?"

"You've known me for years. Have I ever needed emergency chocolate?"

"Uh, yeah, like a million times."

"For my period?"

"Well, I don't know that, do I?" He folds his arms over his chest. "You haven't updated me on your schedule." Somehow that came out a lot whinier than he intended.

"Are you offended?"

He's not sure. "Should I be?"

"No!"

"Okay, then I'm not. But I know now, so I should know how to handle it. Like, I should know what to do when you're sitting in my bathroom cussing at yourself? Is there an SOP for this?"

"This doesn't happen every month."

He frowns. "Your period?"

"The cussing."

"Okay." This would be less awkward without the door between them. Or, actually, maybe it wouldn't. "What's wrong?"

"I don't actually have anything here."

"Anything?"

He swears he can actually hear her roll her eyes. "Tampons. Or pads. Or anything. At all. And you don't have any in your cupboards, which I am both glad and devastated to discover."

"Oh, so the cussing is because -"

"Yes. Now can you like, do something?"

"Do you want a rag?"

"No, I want a box of tampons."

"I don't have a box of tampons."

"Gee. Thanks, Captain Obvious. Can you acquire one?'

Can he? This is a relationship. This is what he's come to. He's a boyfriend now. He can do this. "Sure, yeah, of course' he answers with more confidence than he actually feels. "I'll just ask Mrs. Anderson -"

"Oh my god do not ask your neighbor for feminine products!"

"Well how else am I supposed to get them?"

"Go to the store!"

"That'll take like twenty minutes! Are you going to sit there the whole time?"

"No, I'm going to wander around your house and leave a blood trail!"

"Well I don't know! That seems like a lot of time on the toilet!"

"Yes it does!"

There's a distinct hitch in her voice and he realizes somewhere along the line they started yelling. "Are you crying?"

"Maybe," she says softly. "A little. It's the hormones."

He really hates the door between them right now. Like, a lot. "Kens -"

"I'm fine, just go please."

Okay, yeah, there's no way he's leaving her like that. That would be the wrong thing to do. Right? Right. He's sure. Pretty sure, anyway. Okay, not sure at all but he's decisive. Decisive is good. He reaches for the handle and opens the door.

Kensi looks up, pants around her ankles, eyes red and expression an impressive combination of sad and pissed. "Deeks!"

He ignores her protest and walks to the shower, turning on the water before turning to his partner.

"Come on," he says, pulling her up to her feet. He starts to peel off her clothes and she takes over, tossing her things in a pile on the floor.

He sheds his own clothes and then steps into the shower, reaching for her hand to tug her in after him. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Her eyes light up. "And then get a little dirty?"

"It's a distinct possibility.

Kensi's in the bathtub, laptop perched precariously on the edge, fifteen minutes into the most recent episode of Community and neck deep in bubbles when her cell phone buzzes on the tile floor. She reaches down to grab it.

"Hey, Deeks."

"You could have warned me there was an entire aisle!"

She pauses the show and adjusts the phone to her ear. "I told you what to get."

"Are they alphabetical?"

"No, I don't think so. Just look for the pink."

"They're all pink!"

"More pink that most."

"That doesn't help. Oh my god there's scented? What is scented?"

"Don't get scented."

"There are sizes!"

The mental image of him standing in the feminine hygiene aisle at the grocery store, totally perplexed makes her smile. "You don't know my size?"

"Oh, well, yeah, of course, I - totally, what boyfriend doesn't -"

She laughs. "Deeks, relax. It's not actually related to circumference. I was kidding."

"Please save me. Please?"

"Just grab the closest one to you."

"The closest one to me that's not scented."

"I don't want to overtax you, but yeah, that'd be nice."

"Okay," he says with conviction, "got it."

"And Deeks?"

"Yeah?"

"Probably grab some of that emergency chocolate too."

She can hear him smile over the line. "Already in the basket."