Slow Way Home
Chapter 20
[Day 28 of 45]
It was late, she was tired. She'd been doing her shifts on the bridge, working at engineering when not on duty, running herself ragged really. She'd also spend an hour or so with her friends but beyond that she was always active.
Between that and the constant paperwork she was exhausted, swamped and exhausted. Invoices; Repair Requisitions, Disciplinary Citations to sign off on, information from the admirals.
She knew being a captain wouldn't be a piece of cake but now she realized how difficult it really was. She'd thought being a mom was hard but she'd realized the wins had been easy compared to that job. With the twins Jim knew what to expect. Then again, most people said her experience as a mother was abnormal so maybe for most being a parent was harder than being a Captain.
"You should discuss what has occurred between you and Captain Pike," Spock said as they got into the bed after stripping out of her clothing.
"Too tired," she muttered, leaning against his cooler chest. Her eyes fluttered while his arms wrapped around her.
"Then rest," he told her and she did.
~Slow Way Home~
Sarek did not understand why his wife had become distant both in their bond and in the physical world. She now refused spend more than ten minutes with him and those were minutes she could not avoid.
"You are avoiding me," Sarek told his wife.
"Yeah, and your being a dick. Let's leave it as that," Amanda said lying down on the bed.
"Amanda," he stated and she rolled to face him.
"Jim isn't leaving. She is a part of this family. Her children are a part of this family. And Spock loves all of them. So you need to get over whatever issues you have with her or else he's going to cut you out of their lives completely. And when they adopt Mrs. Marks' baby, which they will, you will not be a part of its life," Amanda said before turning her back towards him. "Don't try correcting my logic or I swear you will sleep in the hall tonight." She was right on him correcting her logic as he'd opened his mouth but snapped it shut.
He hated to admit, the idea of missing out on more of his grandchildren's lives left him… uncomfortable. Knowing so little about his son's life also left him with the same feeling.
So he went to sit on the floor at the end of the bed, preparing to meditate over what he was feeling.
~Slow Way Home~
Pavel was sitting on an empty observation deck, looking out at the stars. He missed Jenna right then but… it didn't feel right that so soon after losing her he had already cried all the tears he had. The pain was still there but there were no tears left to cry.
And the pain was easing slowly, ebbing away.
Sometimes it was back, but other times he found it eased and bearable.
"Sorry," a voice called and Pavel turned to see one of the men – the Pilot – was standing there. "I didn't know anybody would be up here."
"No Vorry," he said. He offered them the seat across the aisle and the man sat down. Sulu, the man was Hikaru Sulu if Pavel remembered correctly. "Just remembering."
"Who did you lose?" Sulu asked.
"Jenna. My girlfriend," Pavel stated. "You?"
"Carl, my roommate and a good friend. And… Demi, my older sister. Though not in the events. I just found out she had an undiagnosed aneurism. Even if this hadn't happened she still would have died," Sulu said, looking lost.
"Sorry," Pavel stated. Nothing else was said, instead they both looked out of the window, united in grief and Pavel felt better, knowing somebody else was thinking of all they lost.