For anon, who requested the first sentence, "Deeks ? I'm... I'm sorry I punched you."

"Deeks ? I'm... I'm sorry I punched you."

He's pretty sure he heard her correctly, but he asks anyway. "You're - you're what?"

"I'm sorry about - about before I left. That was," she's thousands of miles away, but he can still hear her breath hitch over the line, "it was awful."

He takes a minute to register the words - to call up the memory he's tried so hard to push out of his mind. He's not sure if he's glad she brought it up or wishes it would have continued to stay in the past - to keep getting farther and farther away until he can't even remember it anymore. He was so sure it would have to be the latter.

"I think about it all the time," she continues quietly, "and I've wanted to say something but I can't -"

She's starting to sound teary and it makes his heart constrict. He feels like he should say it's okay but his mouth won't form the words.

"I can't figure out how to apologize for it because I can't find an excuse that's good enough - no excuse is good enough, Deeks. I was so scared and so angry and so confused and I lashed out and - and none of that makes it okay. It's not okay."

"No, it's not," he agrees, letting out a breath he'd been holding for a long time.

"You spent your whole life," she's crying now, her words punctuated by shaky breaths, "you spent it being treated like less than a person deserves and here's me - the one who's supposed to protect you, your partner, your friend, your…"

"Everything," he finishes for her.

She's silent for a moment before she echoes, "Your everything."

"Kensi I -"

"I don't want you to forgive me for this," she interrupts and he's glad; he wasn't sure what he was going to say, what he could say. "That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking for you to trust me. Trust that something like that will never happen again."

He closes his eyes and imagines her, somewhere across the world, face serious and eyes intense. She means it, he's sure of that. "I know, Kensi."

"Do you? Can you be sure? Did you ever think it would happened in the first place?"

He shrugs even though she can't see him. He spent a long time trying to reconcile her actions - trying to justify them or excuse them, to wonder why he didn't see it coming; wonder if he should have seen it coming, but he has no more answers now than he did when he started.

"I never thought it would happen, I never - god, Deeks. Never. Never again, do you hear me?"

"I hear you."

"I know we'll fight and I know things will get heated but I'll never strike you again."

"I know."

"I won't."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I - what?"

"I love you, Deeks. I've loved you for longer than I'll ever admit to. And this is a horrible time to say it and I wish I could see you and I wish I was in your arms and I wish," her breath hitches like she's holding in a sob, "I wish so many things."

"I do too."

"I just," she sniffles, "I just needed you to know that."

He presses the phone to his ear, like it will bring her closer to him. "I think I needed to know it."