Spring Winds.
A/N: When I first uploaded ch15, it glitched and I deleted it before reuploading. I don't know if it affects you guys but make sure you've read chapter 15 LOL.
Anyways this is a... Heavy chapter, huge transition. Things will be taking a better turn after this one, I hope. Mm.
As for reviews, I do try my best to answer questions. I can't answer everything but don't be afraid to ask! :)
I've been thinking about opening a tumblr for this story. Edit pics and use quotes from this story. Or make a little trailer AMV thing if Sony Vegas decides to work for me, sigh
Also. If anyone ever feels the way Sakura did last chapter. We may not know each other but... I'm always here to listen if anyone needs it. ^_^
CHAPTER 16
Perhaps I saw too much of myself in this small creature.
I was resting my chin on my arms, propped up above the glass table. I raised one of them to poke my finger through the bars of the golden cage. The little bird chirped, its wings flapped. It seemed to be getting better, healing faster if not already done. I gave it a small smile.
I spun the pink flower in my hand. A small dainty one. It was called a cyclamen. And it meant..
Goodbye.
"That bird's wings have been damaged pretty badly huh," he mused.
"Hm? ...Mm. Ah, yeah. Poor thing, I found it like this in the garden the other day." An early summer day just like this one.
"But look, Sakura-chan," he pointed to the poor white thing who was still trying to move its wings. "It still wants to fly regardless."
I watched helplessly, unsure how to help the little creature. "It must be so painful." I wonder if having it outside like this is torture.
Byakuran hummed by my side. "Maybe so. But maybe it thinks it's worth it?" From the corner of my eyes, I saw him turn to me so I did the same, meeting his light purple eyes. "To fly."
I laughed softly but I didn't feel it in me. It was empty. "You think so?"
He held my gaze for only another moment until he turned around, leaning his back onto the balcony and looking up at the sky above the roof of the mansion. "Ma… Lots of things, people, go to a pretty far extent when they truly want something."
I leaned forward, placing my forearms onto it and faced the opposite direction from him, towards the trees. The little white bird hobbled between us and sometimes I catch the small fluttering noise of its wings. "Desire is such a detrimental thing," I mumbled.
I heard the sound of his low chuckle. "No pain, no gain."
"No need for gain, no need for pain," I muttered.
"Tsk tsk tsk," I heard. Well that was new. "And what would be worthwhile, without pain?"
Why did I understand that so well? Agree so wholeheartedly even though I'm unsure as to why? Even though in my present state, it sounded distasteful?
( "What good was a world if you never experienced pain, what gains would you have ever received worthwhile?" )
The recollection of the thought haunted me. When or why did I ever think that?
I opened my mouth but I wasn't sure what to say. "Isn't being content enough?" I placed my index finger towards the bird and it regarded it for awhile. But it didn't hop on. "No trust, huh?"
"That sounds…" I watched as the bird hopped over to him as he put his finger down. I looked up at him whose head was turned towards my direction but his eyes were gazing down towards the bird. "Boring." When his eyes shifted, I caught a slight gleam in them. The little creature hopped on his finger. Picky thing. "Trust… Trust should depend on what. You shouldn't ever trust everybody but you shouldn't neglect everybody all together."
He smiled. His words hit me to an extent but I played it off. "What are you trying to say?!" I pretended to be offended. "I saved that thing, little brat of a bird," I puffed my cheeks.
Byakuran chuckled, his hand extended out to me as the wind picked up lightly. The cool brush of his fingertips against my cheek before he held the offending strands of hair, tucking it behind my ear in a warm gesture.
I felt strange from the action but I fixated my attention upon the way the breeze gently ruffled his spiky white hair. Something about him looked so… majestic. Perhaps it was the blaring sun behind him or the backdrop of a light blue sky, but for some reason.. There was something angelic about it. If I wasn't a terrible painter, I would have chosen to metaphorically place dazzling wings behind him.
"Saviors have a different section in one's heart," he said with a smile that started to look more like a smirk to me.
Why waste time feeling sorry for yourself?
Life isn't all about this. Life has more meaning to it. Right?
All the self pity I felt for myself. The tears I've used up. The thought of giving up. I realized it was a waste.
And there was still something else I couldn't remember, something else that has been bugging me. And above everything, I have to find out. There was something else that was making me feel incomplete.
"There was always light at the end of the tunnel. You just need to keep your eyes open to see it." A quote from my mother's journal.
"Honey, are you finished with all your studies?" my father walked in without a knock as usual.
I sat up straight and greeted him. "Yes I have."
"Up to a first year of high school?"
"Yes, father," I smiled.
"It must have been hard catching up."
"It's fine. It's only appropriate for my age after all." I was fifteen now but I was enrolled in my second year of junior high. Or well, I was. It was a bit strange but it's okay, I was used to it.
"If only I didn't homeschool you all those years in elementary."
"It's not your fault. Plus, there wasn't much for me to catch up on anyways."
"You're right," he ruffled my hair. "Plus you're my bright daughter."
"I'm lucky to have inherited some of your intelligence. Although, would it have killed you to give me some creativity too?" I laughed softly and he chuckled along with me.
"You're perfect the way you are," he shook his head. "I'm very proud of you as you are."
I blinked when he pulled me into a hug. I was enveloped temporarily in a scent of cologne mixed with what I would assume to be chemicals. What was this all about? "Thank you, father." He let me go, ruffling my hair afterwards.
"I'm just curious but… What was mother interested in?" I tapped on the journal he gave me the other day. One where mother wrote down all her life advices, ones that I now hold very close to my heart. The ones that pulled me out of the black hole of my depression.
"Your mother?" he hummed. "She was a therapist." Ah, that made sense.
"Therapist?" I repeated. I never knew that but perhaps I never asked.
"What was she like?" I questioned. He has told me before but it was always nice to hear.
"Soft spoken, kind," his eyes softened. "She was graceful, lady-like, innocent… Unlike her mother," he joked playfully.
"Grandma? How was she like?" I wondered.
He ruffled the back of his blonde unkempt hair. "She was uh… Brutal. Strong, head strong. Stubborn. Strict. Stern. Scary. Picky. Intimidating. Demanding. Commanding.."
"That much?" I laughed. She sounds like someone I know.
Who?
….Who? What was I talking about?
"How come we never visited her?"
His eyes widened a bit but they regained their normal size after a short second. "Because she's head of the secret intelligence agency," he muttered under his breath almost inaudible. At least that's what I thought he said. Nonetheless, he changed the answer.
"She would oppose to Sumire in seeing me. She would think I'm suspicious, that I'd leave Sumire. That I was no good for her. I was weak. I wouldn't be able to protect Sumire," he frowned. "And maybe she was right…"
"Don't say that, father," I put a hand on his. "Mother wouldn't want you thinking that way. Plus you've protected me," I reassured him with a squeeze.
"What your mother would want," he mumbled to himself. "Yeah. I think so too," he smiled before glancing to the door. My father checked his watch and cussed in Italian, I assumed. "Sakura, sweetie, sorry. I forgot something," he muttered unhappily. "We'll watch the movie in an hour. Okay?"
"Okay," I smiled. "Take your time."
The bird chirped a few more times, catching his attention. He seemed to be inspecting it in silence.
"It looks about healed."
"I think so too," I smiled.
He picked up the cage and walked over to the door to the balcony, opening it up. "Come," he commanded. I followed him outside, wondering what he was about to do.
Exposed to the outside world, the bird hopped excitedly and flapped its wings happily.
"It's time, Sakura. Are you ready?"
"Ready for what?" I looked at my father. His eyes glinted with something I didn't quite understand when he handed me the cage, placing a gentle hand on my head only temporarily. The lab coat trailed behind him until he stopped at the doorway.
"Set it free."
And he left.
The June weather made it difficult for me to desire the outside air. Instead, I stayed inside and decided to play the piano. Plus father wasn't done with whatever he had to do and I had just set the bird out to freedom.
I sat down on the piano chair and my white dress fanned out. It made a nice contrast to the black, I noted. The sun was setting and it ignited the room in an orange hue. It was supposed to be beautiful but for some reason… something struck as me as strange. But whatever.
I stroke my fingers over the keys of the piano. It's been awhile since I played it but I attempted to play at least once every two weeks in order to remember.
Chopin. Beethoven. I was playing fine till I missed the G key and hit the F. I winced at the mistake I made and started over. I got halfway through Fur Elise when I heard a loud thud.
I ignored the other two thuds because I thought it was due to my father's research. However, I believed I should at least check it out, just in case. Then again, everyone was on leave. So the commotion.. Hm. When I walked out into the burgundy corridor, it was eerily quiet; usually the maids and butlers would be bustling around and chattering.
Oh crap! When I turned the corner to my dad's office, I nearly ran into a figure and my hand went up to my chest in shock. My shock heightened when I stared at the unfamiliar person in front of me.
Who is this? Why is he here?
"Who are you? Why are you on this floor?" I looked around quickly, my eyes narrowed when I rested it back on his figure. His mouth was partly open as if he was meant to speak but nothing came out. "Are you one of the assistant's son?" But they were on leave, I reminded myself. The only people that were still in this mansion was myself, my dad, and a few of the kitchen or maid staff.
This teenage boy had disheveled black hair and piercing gray eyes. Those eyes. The sight of them sent a pang to my head, I winced. He was in a school uniform: white shirt, black tie, black jacket over his shoulders, red armband on the sleeve. "No, that can't be." But he looked familiar. So where have I seen him? No matter.
"What are you doing here?" I whispered as my suspicions started kicking in. He didn't answer me, his eyes only shifted. "How did you find this location?"
Suddenly the lack of workers and all the thuds I heard in the hallway started to make sense to me. I caught an arm on the floor peaking out from behind the door to my dad's office, a gray sleeve. No. I ran closer, not minding the kid any longer, and I felt my stomach twist. It can't- Perhaps my heart twisted into a knot. Perhaps I almost forgot how to breathe. I saw that there was way too much blood pooling around his injured head for him to be okay. I felt nauseous No, no, no.
"Fa-" His eyes and mouth were left open in surprise. Oh please no.
"No" I hissed as memories flashed in my mind one by one while my vision blurred. When he used to hold my hand as we walked. When he would carry me on his shoulders. When he would read stories to me before I slept. When he held me when I had nightmares. Even up to this moment.. His voice. The way he pushed up his glasses. The way he laughed. The way he looked when he was focused. Father… no. No, no, no. No, it can't be.
My shaky hand covered my mouth because I just couldn't believe it. My legs wobbled, abandoned along with my sanity. I sunk to the ground in front of him, hand shakily reaching out to him. Dad... My head was spinning, my heart….. Not him too. Please. "Fa-ther?" My dad was dead? Blood. There was too much blood.
I would never hear his voice again, the curve of his smile, the bellowing of his laughter. The way he ruffled his hair in frustration, the way he ruffled my hair with affection. The stories he told me of my mother. Who was going to tell me about her now? My mother.. Now him. Even though it wasn't often, he joined me for meals… How would I be able to look at the absent seat, a space void of his presence? The way his footsteps clattered around the hallways. The beautiful things he made for me as gifts. His creative fingers and bright mind. Where did that all go? Now that he's… gone. He's gone. He left me too… No. He didn't leave me. Someone took him from me.
Why? I felt my eyes growing wet but this was no time to cry, I stared hatefully down at my red stained hands. But he… He was just talking to me… He... My heart strained and squeezed until it bursted. Father? What scared me more was that this sorrow was comforting, familiar. Why? Why did this have to happen? He didn't deserve this… I stroked his hair out of his face. My system felt cold like just the touch of his skin, the lifeless paling of his already white skin.
Why him? WHAT DID HE DO? He didn't deserve this. Please. Please? Please what?
Slowly I felt something more powerful than the crashing waves of my sorrow when I recalled the presence behind me. It started growing numb. My mind was a scattered messy, memories in the forms of papers strewn across the caverns by a relentless wind. Instead, there was a wild hurricane and it was stirring up the more dominant feeling that rested dormant in the depths of all this pain. Anger. There was a lot of anger. My hand was shaking but it was not due to fear.
He trained you for this. He trained you for this situation. Pull yourself together. Get up. GET UP NOW.
I swayed slightly as I stood back up but I had no time for this, dragging my forearms across my eyes. Cry later, suffer later. Be stronger. For this moment. Become the person you were raised to be. For father… For father. I steeled my will despite my heart and looked up to make eye contact with this boy. I saw it in his eyes. There was no denial, he didn't try to hide it. His eyes contained all seriousness. Go to hell. I felt my blood boil and my hands started to shake. I was going to tear him piece by piece and I wasn't going to be the one to lose.
"Out of my way" he said coldly and started walking towards me. That voice, what is it about it that sounds so familiar? My head throbbed again but I shook it off. I slid directly in his path, blocking his way.
"Fuck you. I'll send you to hell personally," I pulled out two of my mini fan keychains and expanded them to full size. It was made with razor sharp blades. I am not going down without a fight. His eyebrows raised. My head pulsed and my blood seemed to boil. The expression people used couldn't be too wrong.
I allowed one last look at my father. For him. "Why?! What did he do?!" I cried fiercely. My voice broke but I didn't care.
He scoffed, "I don't spend time talking to herbivores." I felt anger rise up in me like a burning flame. Herbivore?
"Then I guess I'll have to beat it out of you," I replied, arms up.
He smirked, "Not if I bite you to death first." This feeling inside me regarding him bugged me. It disgusted me. He took his stance and charged at me with weapons I've come to recognize as tonfas. It was fast but I had trained my reflexes. There was a clang when my fan hit his tonfa. The other tonfa was swung in an under arc, aiming for my ribs but I matched it with my other fan. Focus. There! I bent my leg up and quickly extended it fully, aiming for his stomach but he evaded it.
"Not as bad as I thought," he said as he jumped back. This would have been easier if I had my trusty antiseptic needles.
"Tcht. Don't get cocky, you bastard," I narrowed my eyes so much I might as well be closing it. This time I charged at him, pushing off on one foot. He's quick. Not to mention he is much stronger than me. But strength isn't everything. He raised up his tonfas in defense as I swung it at him. His eyes glinted with some sick interest. He brought his arm back and swung at me again but I ducked quickly onto one bent leg, swinging my other one for a low side sweep. I thought I had him, it made a touch at his ankles but it he jumped back quickly. Not good enough.
He took his opportunity to run at me but with a hand, I flipped myself backwards, landing onto my feet. Stance up. Right. Left. Down. Left- No. Fuck, that was close. His tonfa slammed into my fan, knocking me back a bit. That was way too close to my ribs. I attempted to do a quick round house kick but he blocked it with his arms, only sliding back slightly. Arms? Focus. He swung at me again but this time it was too far, I took a side step onto one foot. My fans reducing to keychains that hung on my fingers. I grabbed his wrist. Fuck you. I yanked it behind his back, twisting it. And to think he would yelp in pain. Instead he twisted his body, tonfa aiming for my head. I barely ducked, instead grabbing his arm with my other hand. Putting in all my strength and hurling my body so close to the ground, I shifted his weight to slam him against the ground. That'll-
What? He managed to land on his two feet bent. He looked like a flat table, arched up. What the hell is with this kid? My eyes widened in shocked when I felt his hand, on the arm that was restrained by me, grab my forearm. Oh no you don't. I yanked my arm away, jumping to a better distance. He pushed himself up with his two hands, rising back up to his two feet. This wasn't going to be easy. I could hardly keep up. He was much better than my tutors, way stronger than my competitors.
We matched our weapons one by one for quite some time, much to my difficulty, until my house rumbled under my feet. I felt my eyes widen in horror as I saw an explosion outside, covering the sky in smoke and its fiery flares. What- What the hell is going on?
"Get distracted and you'll die," he warned as a tonfa rammed into the side of my leg with what seemed to be half his strength. Fuck. I yelled out in pain nonetheless as it felt like a hammer had struck it. I fell onto my other leg. He didn't hit it hard enough to break it so I tried to stand up. And something told me he was going easy on me.
It hurt like hell but I won't lose just because of this. Not for my dad. I swallowed a lump in my throat and narrowed my eyes. Focus. But his eyes. What the hell? You're going to die and you're staring into his eyes?
We went at it for another few swings until an explosion rumbled the ground and knocked me off balance. It came from the roof this time.
"This was not part of the plan," he mumbled, "an intruder?" The intruder would be YOU. Angry and reckless, I swung my fan at his leg and was able to make a good cut. He winced but didn't fall.
His fast reflexes allowed him to knock the fans from my hands. No- He grabbed my arms and pinned me hard against the wall by my wrists, I groaned from the shock of my back hitting the wall and the breath was knocked out of me. His tonfa was at my neck.
"You're going to kill me too, huh?" it came out choked. "Fine with me. I never had much to live for." I smirked. His cold gray eyes flashed with a short emotion of some sort but it was gone the second after. He opened his mouth to say something but another explosion interrupted him. That's right. Shut up.
From the corner of my eye, I saw a girl in a green uniform with indigo hair and an eyepatch on her right. "Boss said there is another family here trying to steal the information. The research is destroyed and he told you to retreat. The building is collapsing," and she ran down the hallway as the ceiling started to cave in. Research, of course that was what they're after.
Everything was shaking and I've started to come to terms with my nearing death. It was all too loud. All too much. My system was ringing, my mind was jumbled and it wasn't like I needed everything in my body to tell me I was in danger. Everything started to die down a bit when my breaths were starting to reduce. The touch of the cool steel against my neck started to grow numb to me. Perhaps everything in my body felt cold despite the blazing heat of my anger.
A disgusting laugh bellowed and echoed from the end of the hallway. My hand twitched in annoyance and I think I just found my next target for blood. If I could just get out of this.
A red haired guy came running at us. "Hey you, you want to die too? Like that retarded scientist" he laughed again. He's lucky I'm pinned down. I felt my arm shake from anger and the sensation of wanting to rip out his lungs.
The black haired guy let me go and I slumped to the floor pathetically, panting heavily. He got into his stance and faced the man. "You Vongola members think you're all that? Trying to save the good for nothing scientist? Well we beat you to it this time and we got the information that we needed," the guy cackled. Vongola? Beat you to it? So it was this man's fault that my dad was dead?
"Vongola? I don't care about that. I was promised that if I finished this mission, I could fight someone strong. But now that you're in my way, I'll bite you to death," The kid charged at the despicable red haired man while I sat here in a pathetic heap, catching precious air that was tainted with smoke anyways.
The man took out his sword and they went at it but the boy won in the end without much effort, swiftly too. Something told me he went way too easy on me but I pushed that thought away. Does this mean he wasn't the one that killed my dad? I shook my head. Doesn't matter because he's dead no matter what.
I whipped my head over to the newer set of footsteps echoing down the corridor. "Now that Innocenti's dead. We'll track down that damn Koenig and Verde." Something flashed in my mind. Ah. I wanted to hurt this man and I wanted to hurt him badly.
Innocenti.
That disgusting bastard doesn't deserve to utter my dad's name. Another man ran out from the other side of the corridor with the same uniform as the fallen guy and charged at the boy from behind with a dagger. Die. He didn't seem to notice me so I satisfyingly stabbed my fan into his side. He yelped and fell onto the floor.
"Filthy dog," I said hatefully and kicked him. The black haired guy raised an eyebrow at me and I ignored it, crawling over to where my dad was. Father. I closed his eyes with shaky fingers that I hated and I felt the unwanted tears slide down my cheeks. Father, I'm so sorry. My stomach twisted, the lump in my throat was unbearable. There was more rumbling as the ceiling broke, piece by piece falling down. It's okay, father. I don't mind joining you and mother. We'll be together. The three of us. Finally.
I was choking on my tears and hiccups so I barely heard a tcht noise from behind me, probably from the unknown teenager. It's okay. It'll only hurt for awhile. Then you'll be free. I cried into my hands until I was hauled me up my by arm against my own volition. "What-" I kicked with my good leg in objection. I stopped when he swooped down and carried me. "Let me go!" I cried and pounded my fists into his chest. I want to be with father. He ignored me. With mother.
More and more chunks of ceiling came crashing down, they were getting bigger and much more dangerous as well. I felt that his run was awkward and I realized it was because of me who injured his leg. At this rate I don't think we'd make it outside. Not that I wanted to. Plus, he's in danger now too. Not that I really cared.
"You won't make it outside carrying me," I stated and shoved him hard as a life threatening piece of ceiling fell down. He staggered back as I fell onto the floor pathetically.
"You have a death wish?" he snapped and pulled me up by my arm. Something hit me, and it wasn't physically. No, my mind whispered weakly from the faraway depths I've been ignoring. The thought that occurred to me when fighting this kid resurfaced in my mind:
I didn't live my life enough.
He picked me up, I bit my lip as tears streamed down my face. I buried my face into his chest and balled up my fist with his white button up. Something about his scent caused my head to hurt even more. I was washed by a wave of nostalgia.
We were near the exit when I looked up and saw the gigantic portrait fall over which was about to land directly over us. NO-
"Hibari!" I screamed. I closed my eyes tightly shut.
I heard a loud crash and my ears hurt from a loud explosion. Then I landed, hard. I rolled and tumbled with him still holding me. How? We made it outside because he lunged out of the exit, and on time. Rocks scraped me and it stung. But at least I was alive.
What did I just say?
Another explosion boomed behind us and he pinned me down, pressing against me defensively. "Hi..ba..ri?" I whispered again and my head throbbed again but this time it was accompanied by my heart. I seemed to have been correct because his eyes lit up for a second despite the condition we were in. His uniform seemed beat up and torn just as much as my once white dress. "Um… Do I know you?" I don't know how I knew his name but it might explain why I've been feeling groggy for the last few months and why my memory was hazy. He didn't speak, he merely watched me.
Something about this made me numb to the situation we were in. Perhaps the explosions became less inaudible or perhaps my heart was beating so loudly I was drowned out of everything. Everything but these steel eyes and that I was so close up, it started to look a bit blue.
But deep down inside. With this given moment, I wished to be numb. I longed for something more than just sorrow and anger.
"I feel like...I've been in a weird trance as of lately…" I admitted more to myself than him. I thought of the way he fought to get me out there.
"You must know me. I don't think you'd go through such an extent to save someone you didn't know." He scoffed and I assumed I was right. I felt the corner of my lips tug despite what was going on. For some reason my heart wasn't calming down.
"I must know you too…" I smiled and my hand weakly came up to brush his face out of my own volition. "Were you important to me?" I asked quietly. What was I doing? Perhaps I was going crazy, too much to take in so I just didn't take it.
"No," he finally spoke. His eyes seem so full of emotion but also void of any at the same time. I couldn't read him. For some reason this Hibari person doesn't seem to be too confident about all of this. But why was I?
I shook my head, "Now that can't be true." He raised an eyebrow but he didn't say anything. "Right now I can't really remember who you are but…
My heart has been racing uncontrollably…
I've been strongly feeling like I should embrace you. And I feel as if I really want to do… this."
I smiled and wound my hands behind his head. Whoever this Hibari was to me, I can't be wrong. Maybe it'll help me remember. Perhaps I just wanted to drown out my misery. I pulled his head down closer and tilted mine up, meeting his lips halfway. Or perhaps it was all an excuse.
His eyes were widened with shock but they softened. My heart hammered, demanding escape from the cage of my chest. I've never kissed anyone before and I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do beside close my eyes. His lips parted slightly in shock and I found my lips moving slowly in instinct. It was soft. My heart was melting but it felt strange because I couldn't remember why it should feel this way.
Of course I'm not remember anything. This wasn't a fairy tale. And I almost laughed at myself for trying. Or perhaps it was to hide my embarrassment. Or perhaps I really was going crazy all together.
And perhaps he didn't like it, or me, but he pushed me down. He stared into my eyes and I was scared I would find anger but I didn't. I found something else.
"Sakura."
My heart throbbed.
I had found myself.
"Nanase Sakura." He stalked up to me, tonfas in hand.
"Care to explain, Nanase Sakura?"
"I hate cherry blossoms."
"If they're poisoned, I'll bite you to death."
"Don't you know how to knock?"
"Do whatever you want."
"Your smell. It isn't that bad."
"You're the most annoyingly persistent person I've ever met."
"I'll find you."
My eyes were tearing up as his voice rang through my aching head. I remember now, I remember him.
"Hibari... Kyoya," I smiled despite the tears rolling down my cheeks. He sat up and I slowly did as well, hiding my face in his shoulders.
"You found me."
"Idiot. Did you dare to ever doubt I would?" he mumbled. "How stupid do you have to be to forget everything?" I laughed and cried at the same time. This attitude is so familiar to me. It is so him. So Hibari.
I saw a few figures run towards us. It was a soft looking brunette, a gray hair kid with dynamites, a tall guy with a sword, a guy with very short spiky light gray hair, the eyepatch girl, and two small kids, one wearing a hat. I wasn't sure as how to react. My mind was confused and so was my heart. Something about them was so familiar but my mind was so groggy. Why?
"Hibari-san!" the brunette called out. He skidded to a stop when his widened eyes went down to the person besides Hibari, me. "S-Sakura-chan?! What are you- Are you-" he was too surprised to speak and I was partly surprised he knew me. His head whipped around to the small kid, "Reborn! You didn't tell me," he blamed.
"You wouldn't have gone," the kid replied calmly. "I didn't expect them to get there first but at least the dangerous research will be stopped." I froze at his words. Dangerous? My dad's research? Why?
Then everything seemed to rush back at me all at once, if my ears just popped after a long flight. Everything sunk in. Everything I wanted to and managed to forget only for a short moment. Father.
I'm pretty sure Hibari would've left if I wasn't holding onto him so tightly with shaking hands. I also don't know why I am but I guess I needed someone. Why? Someone to be there for me even though my heart is sinking.
I finally turned towards my miserable home and watched from a distance with a tightened chest. I'm so sorry, father. I'm so sorry. I saw my childhood fall apart and my house ablaze, a cruel bright color against a darkened sky. I think I was numb again. Was it numbness? Or was there so much emotion that my mind was getting used to this warped sense of chaos?
Red. Everything was red. Blood, fire, anger. The smell of ash is everywhere and felt suffocating. I tightened my grip on Hibari's shirt as someone walked closer to me. Someone that I believe to be...
Someone by the name of… Yama… No. T..Ta...Takeshi? Why?
Takeshi was saying something to me, his mouth was moving. I didn't understand, I didn't want to understand right now. I don't care. He even held out his hand to me but I thought nothing of it. I don't need your hand.
My eyes burned just like the scene of my house. And it wasn't like the ones out of the television. This was happening. This was happening now. And along with the burning structure of my home.. was also my father.
Instead I buried my face deep into what I found as Hibari's chest.
Instead I cried and screamed, screamed my lungs out.
I was angry.
Angry at my dad and his research. Why did he have to be involved?
Angry because I knew they had to be stopped. What was so dangerous about it?
Angry because no matter what, he was my DAD. And he was gone.
Angry at myself for not being able to remember who these people are. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST? My mind screamed. WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE NOW? Why… Why… If this didn't happen… Would you be here? Would you all be staring at me with such irritantingly concerned faces? I can't even tell if I was physically screaming. My system was tired. Was I cold? Was it too hot?
Stop talking. I can't hear. Stop. Where was I again? Who was next to me again?
My mind was working overtime, in a jumbled chaos with some sort of attempt to recognize my thoughts. But there was too much, one overlapping each other, all trying to be the dominant thought. The dominant emotion. And maybe there was.
I was just so, so angry. My vision was painted red. Go away. Go away. I don't want to hear it anymore. I don't want to think. I don't want to hear myself. Father.
But under all that anger, was sorrow. Father, I'm so sorry. Sorrow that burned a hole in my chest along with my rest of my house. Perhaps I should've burned along with him. Perhaps that would've been a more appropriate fate for me. The red started to darken until it was black.
Red and black. Those were the only two colors that existed in my world right now.
Red fire, red corridor, red blood, red hair. Why? Red is anger. Why?
Black ash, black holes, black smoke. Why? Black must be the color of death. Father. Why?
Why, why, WHY?
Suffocating. It was suffocating me. Smoke? Tears? Anger? Sorrow? What is it?
Father, no. Please don't leave me too.
"Set it free."
I didn't need to be free. I didn't. Not if I had to lose you too.
Darkness was so welcoming. Darkness was always welcoming. Ah.
Take me. Take me too.
No.
No?
No.
"Rest in peace," I whispered from numb lips, tasting the saltiness of my tears. The world spun around me. I'm sorry, father. I can't join you yet. Forgive me.
"Innocenti."
I had let it all out until ...I passed out from utter exhaustion …
…..of mind, heart, and body…
A/N: So I've hinted it a few times throughout the story. I wonder who actually figured out her dad was Innocenti? Haha. She was a regular scientist's daughter until like... I don't know. Chapter 5? When I had the idea and I changed up half the storyline after that, added a few things in chapter 1 as well.