Spring Winds.

A/N: This chapter is mostly conversations. :c Next one would be a bit of a continuation of this chapter and also the part where Sakura truly enters their world. Chapter 18 is also the last chapter of Spring Winds. BUT. "Chapter 19" is the first chapter for the 2nd 'book' which is Summer Rain. I might have to change the title or add to it because I don't want to separate the 'books'. There are 4 in total; Spring Winds, Summer Rain, Autumn Air, Winter Solstice. Keep in mind that Summer Rain is NOT the future arc (I'm sorry for the wait) but Autumn Air is. Summer Rain will be focusing on friendship, relationship developments, and maybe I'll make up antagonists but I'm still unsure.

Announcement: So I uploaded yet another story. This one I'm really excited to write. It's a game AU called Under a Virtual Sky Online. It's inspired by Sword Art Online's concept, a bit of Fairy Tail's guilds, and the League of Legends' tier system. The genres are fantasy, adventure, friendship, family, romance, hurt/comfort, slight angst, slight tragedy. It focuses a lot on family, friendship, and adventure more than romance.
Sakura is the main character of UVSO since it's another OC-centric. But it's hugely AU. It's also Sakura x Hibari so if you like that couple then come on over. :) Also I'll be incorporating MOST KHR characters with AU age variations (like TYL Lambo, TYL I-Pin, ect) and a lot of OCs. Not to mention I'm taking OC suggestions so if you want to submit one, that'll be helpful! :) Come join me in this new world!

CHAPTER 17

Voices.

Unfamiliar? Familiar.

I can't tell.

Bright, a bit too bright. Ugh. My eyes were still groggy and I could make out nothing more than a blur of a gray room. Or was it white? I don't care.

"Sakura-chan?" A voice. Go away.

I pulled the cover over my head, feeling the sleepiness take over. Leave me alone.

And it was dark again.

"Daddy!" the pink haired little girl squealed happily as she clung onto his arm.

"Sakura, careful," the blonde man wobbled, a stack of papers balanced on his other hand.

"Daddy, let's play!" She tugged excitedly, holding up a few stuffed animals.

"In a few minutes, honey," he smiled.

"Okay... " she pouted. "I want to play with mommy," she whispered.

The man's brown eyes widened. "Mommy's resting."

"Resting where?" she asked. "You always tell me-"

"In a special place called heaven," he replied as always.

"Heaven?" she mused.

"Then father-"

She was much older now. Taller. Her pink hair was longer and she was no longer a little girl. He grew some wrinkles, his demeanor was seemingly more tired. His eye bags were darker.

"Where are you?"

"I'm with your mother."

"But father-"

"I'm resting," he smiled tiredly. A hand on top of her head.

"But-"

And who was this figure? This person that stood by his side, hand in hand. Mother?

I took a step closer, but they weren't getting any where near my grasp.

"Wait! Don't go-"

"Goodbye, Sakura."

"No!" I jolted up, a pain shot through my spine and one down at my thigh. The insignificant blanket was tossed to the other side of the bed. And I winced before my vision focused on the unfamiliar room around me.

"You're awake. Thank god," a masculine voice. I turned to the owner, a slightly tanned guy with black spiky hair, warm brown eyes. He was familiar and so was his voice. "I'm so glad," he smiled almost sadly.

Who is he? How should I answer? I don't even want to talk.

"Where am I?" My voice sounded a bit hoarse and weak. I scanned my surroundings still. This was a hospital room, most likely.

"A clinic," he answered from where he sat, which was by my bed. "How are you feeling? I'm sorry about-"

"I'm fine," I cut him off sharply.

"Do you need anything?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Do you have a headache? Any pains?"

I shook my head again, only to open my eyes and narrowed them. I don't like people asking me a lot of questions.

"Ma, I was really surprised when…" he frowned. "I mean when you… I wish that I could've-"

And what could you have done?!

"Please!" I yelled sharply. I had enough but I felt bad when my reply seemed to have scared and saddened him at the same time. "I don't want to talk," I muttered in an attempt for a nicer tone. I was in a terrible mood from my….dream. And this was not helping... even though I know he means well.

It seems to have hit him a bit but he nodded slowly. "Anyways since you're awake..Let me go get Dino."

Dino? Who's that? Who are you even? And didn't I just say I don't want to talk?

The guy stood up and walked outside. I was left to myself and I stared down at my clothes. It was some light blue pajamas and it had better been a female that changed me or someone's going to get it.

"Nanase Sakura," the blonde man said as he walked in and I assume him to be Dino. He was dressed in a green coat, black shirt, and khaki pants. "And how are you feeling?" he smiled brightly.

I sighed. "My physical condition is fine," I answered specifically.

He chuckled shortly. "That's good to hear. And your mental state?" He dared to ask.

I narrowed my eyes, unanswering.

He chuckled again, a bit more awkward this time. "This is quite the uh- second meeting." Second? "I was surprised when Kyoya came dashing in carrying you along with the others trailing farther behind."

I frowned. "Have we met?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I guess you don't remember the hospital day then." Hospital day?

"I don't remember anything really," I admitted.

His expression grew serious. "Do you remember Yamamoto Takeshi, the guy that was in the room?"

I shook my head. "I just knew he seemed familiar."

The man pursed his lips. "And Hibari Kyoya?"

"I only remember that he saved me." And we kissed. My face burned a bit and I glanced away. "I remember remembering him but the memory is long gone now."

He nodded slowly. "And why do you think so? Your memory loss, I mean."

I pressed my mind to remember but nothing surfaced. And frankly, I was getting frustrated. "Don't know."

"Perhaps it'll come back soon," he mumbled as he seemed to be lost in thought. "Maybe we can try jogging your memory?"

I sighed. "I suppose." As of this moment, I could care less those people that I did not remember. But maybe, I was a bit curious though.

"Maybe you'd like to talk to them?" I thought about the overly kind guy and the group of people from that...day. And suddenly it seemed unpleasant. And suffocating.

"Not really," I mumbled.

"Then how will-"

"Not yet. I'm tired," I explained. "Thank you though."

He nodded slowly. "Well just press the button if you need anything. As you figured, your physical health is fine but… As for your.. condition, you may stay here till you figure out what to do."

Right. I was basically homeless now. I almost laughed at my pathetic state of being and condition right now. "Thank you, I appreciate it."

He started to leave and I don't know what overcame me but I called out to him. "Wait!"

Dino turned around with a surprised expression, simply waiting for me as requested. "Um. Hibari…. Uh. I'd like to talk to him," I muttered, unhappy with my own words.

"Kyoya huh…" he smiled before ruffling the back of his hair as his eyebrows knitted. "That's a pretty hard request…" From what I could remember, I figured it would be.

"Nevermind-"

"I'll try my best!" He smiled. "Leave it up to me!" This person seemed like an older brother type. Older brother. I frowned, glancing down to my hands.

"Okay," I whispered and I heard footsteps before the sound of a closing door.

It was in the evening when I had another visitor. It turned out to be a pretty small guy with spiky brown hair, dressed in a yellow t-shirt and denim pants.

"Sakura-chan, how are you?" he smiled meekly as he entered.

"Fine," I answered. Why does anyone ask that? Do I seem anything other than 'terrible' to them?

He fidgeted. "Um… Dino-san said you have trouble remembering?"

I sighed. "Yes."

"Is there some way I can help?"

I frowned. "How am I supposed to know if I can't remember?"

"True…" He chuckled awkwardly.

"Is there something I can get you?"

Yeah. A house. "No."

He nodded slowly and I could hear him mutter "S-Scary!" to himself. He looked so easily intimidated and overly nervous. I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

"And your name?"

He raised his head, seemingly shocked that I asked him. "Tsuna. Well you called me Tsuna. My full name is Sawada Tsunayoshi."

I nodded slowly. Tsuna does sound familiar. "Were we close?" I asked.

He pursed his lips. "Um… Not really… I mean not specifically… But we do talk and hang out together with a group."

"I see." I returned my gaze out the window. The blinds were lowered so that minimal sunlight wouldn't bug me too much. But I could catch a bit of the greenness of a tree in front the background of a light blue sky.

"B-But!" I turned around at the sound of his voice. He fidgeted a bit before his voice grew more confident. "But I'll be here for you if you need me! O-Or even if you don't! Because...Because we're friends," he grinned softly.

I parted my lips slightly, unsure what to say. "Oh?" I ended up saying first. There was something about people's sincerity that stuns me. I found my attention back to the peek under the blinds. "Thank you." I shifted my gaze back to him who was just watching me. "Truly."

He smiled, seemingly relieved, and nodded. Tsuna's attention rested upon my nightstand and I noticed he was staring at the books. "You like medical books?" He asked with knitted eyebrows.

"No," I replied. "There's nothing else in Dino's library."

"Then!" He started, determined. "I'll bring you some books!"

"Okay," I gave him a small smile.

"What do you like to read?"

I hummed. "Fantasy, romance teen books."

Tsuna nodded slowly with growing determination in his warm brown orbs. "I'll try my very best then!"

Is he always this determined to whatever he has to do? I laughed a bit. "Okay. Thank you."

"Do you want me to uhm… Do you want me to tell Kyoko and Haru?"

"Who are they?" I frowned.

"Ah. Your two female friends. They don't really… Uh. They're not really involved in these kinds of things," he explained. What kinds of things?

"Then no. It's okay." I didn't need more pity or worthless words. I didn't need things that couldn't bring back my father. I glanced away at my own thoughts.

"Um.. Then… I'll let you rest then?" He asked nervously and I simply nodded. "I'll come back with the books tomorrow. See you, Sakura-chan!" I didn't answer, didn't look up. So I heard the closing of the door soon after.

What's wrong with me?

Why am I acting like this?

But for some reason, I didn't want to forget this sorrow. This pain. This feeling. This hatred.

Because…

I suppose it made me feel alive.

I was no princess. I was never in a fairy tale. Never deserved or was obliged to have a happy ending. Perhaps I never wished for one. Because I never hoped to have one.

I was not waiting to get rescued.

But for some reason.

Why did I wait to be found?

One day had passed and he still hasn't come yet. Not like I was waiting for him. But … Maybe I'd find some answers. And he didn't seem too bad to talk to.

Well he didn't seem like he talked much which was completely okay with me right now. In fact, it was preferable.

However, I got a different visitor. One that is pretty frequent, other than this overly nervous brunette Tsuna, Dino, and some Romario person.

"How are you feeling?" 'Yamamoto Takeshi' asked with a smile.

"Fine," I answered curtly. How do you think I'm feeling?

"Sakura-chan…" his eyebrows knitted. "Did you need anything?"

"Rest," I said simply, hoping he'd leave.

"Ah.. Okay," he spoke with an unmistakable hurt tone.

Then minutes of quiet silence. I was reading a book I borrowed in Dino's office. ...They were all medical books. I sighed. I barely understand any of this but whatever, it was something to read. Something to pass away time.

"What are you reading?"

"No idea."

"You really don't have to talk, huh?"

I frowned. I answered honestly. "I don't. But I really don't have an idea what I'm reading."

"Do you want to go outside? Play baseball?"

I shook my head. "No thanks." And why in the world would I want to play baseball?

More silence.

"So…" I looked up from my book to find him glancing away. "I heard you wanted to speak to Hibari…?"

I snapped the book shut, narrowing my eyes. What's it to him? "And?"

"Nothing," he mumbled, trying to laugh awkwardly. Then why ask? I was growing impatient.

I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Not like I blame you but…" Now what? He looked away almost ashamed at the words he was about to speak next. Then why say it? "But you've changed."

My eyes widened before narrowing, my eyebrows furrowing. "I didn't change," I glanced out to the window in order to keep myself to stop from snapping at him.

"You just never knew me."

"Is that so?!" I heard his voice rise. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes and I found him glaring sideways to the ground. His fists were balled up. "Ah then fine," was the last line I heard before the door closed.

So we were both angry. I wonder if any of us found an answer or any other meaning behind this seemingly pointless conversation. I don't blame people because I was the one to give them the fake impression of me. Because I didn't want to get close to people, didn't need for them to know the real me. Whatever real was. Apparently real was not what he knew of me.

But I hate. I HATE. When people are so SURE they know me. What did they know about me?! What did they know about my thoughts? When I don't even? What gives them the right to assume things about me? What gives?!

I clenched my fists. So I wasn't some stupid, happy, smiling girl. Innocent and sheltered against the world. Forgiving and blissfully ignorant. I had NEVER been that. Perhaps when I didn't know half the language. Perhaps.

I've 'changed'? Bullshit. Don't give me such bullshit. I haven't changed. You never knew me.

But then what am I?

Am I all of this anger? And more? Was behind all of this anger and hatred of the world.. That stupid, happy, smiling girl was more than just a mask?

I sighed. I suddenly felt bad for lashing out on him.

I had a bad control of my temper and as of recently, it's only gotten worse.

It wasn't his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. I'm just tired… And I'm tired of an attitude like his.. Not like it was a bad one. It's just… Right now.. I can't take it. I can't take people who laugh like he does. Think that everything would be okay. His words were supposed to be comforting. But why do all I hear are lies?

He was trying to help, I reminded myself. I'm a terrible friend. I'm terrible.

{ ... }

Today, I woke up with clarity. I don't know why and I don't know how, but I woke up remembering everything. Everyone that I met, everyone that I became friends with. People that I started to trust. Ones that made me happy, showed me how fun it was to be surrounded by friends. Since I moved to Namimori Middle School till the fight with my dad. Now I think I might know the cause of my memory loss. That strange tea. And to think he would go to such an extent. But I won't speak ill of him. Now that… Now that he's… gone.

I bit my lip, closing my eyes and tried to focus on keeping my tears in. I had other things to focus on. I needed to somehow contact Jun and update him. I also need to somehow find out about that person in my father's office, disguised as him. I also needed to sort out my messy feelings but.. That'll come later.

Knocks. Who is it now?

"Come in," I called out, putting down a book about herbs.

The door opened, revealing someone I didn't expect to see again to be honest.

"You're back..?" I whispered softly as I watched Takeshi walk closer. I didn't think… I felt a lump in my throat and I realized how much I regretted snapping at him the other day. "I'm so sorry," I stared down at my hands, ashamed.

I heard the sound of the chair's legs scraping against the floor and I winced at the awful noise. "I'll always come back," he said faintly and my eyes widened at his sincere tone. I turned slowly only to meet his smile. One that seems all too bright for me. Too bright for what I deserve.

"Please don't say something like that," I spoke tiredly. "I might believe it," I smiled weakly.

"Then believe it," Takeshi smiled softly as his warm, large hand rested upon my shaking ones. I didn't even realize I was tearing up until I felt a tear roll off my cheek. The next time I blinked, I found myself hitting against his chest, enveloped in his scent. "I... I don't deserve it," There was that weird, uncomfortable sensation around the area of my nose and before I could stop it, the tears were spilling out. I bit my lip, tasting saltiness.. And I thought I ran out.

Suddenly everything crashed against me like a cold wave on an already freezing winter day. As if there was a point where you're no longer numb and everything that pained you came back to haunt you. The things you didn't feel before. It was finally hitting me.

I was terrible. I am terrible.

"I was a terrible d-daughter," I whimpered, hating the disgusting weak voice of mine. "I said terrible, terrible things. I didn't even thank him… He did so much to me… even though it was w-wrong.. He meant well… He meant to protect me...," I ranted in between pathetic sobs. "And I couldn't even save him….I couldn't even do that! Damnit. Damnit!" I yelled as I clenched the fabric of his shirt tightly. Father. Father, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

My cries were audible and it was disgusting to me.

My nose was too stuffed now, I couldn't breathe through it.

The sounds of my sobs and hiccups upsetted me even more.

"I'll be here to support you. Always."

Support? Kindness?

He always offered too much, was always so kind. And with his special warm smile.

It was too bright for me. For someone like me.

...

The barred bed frame was a bit uncomfortable and the only help I received was from a pillow at my lower back. My hands were overlapping each other upon my lap and I idly moved the cherry blossom ring on my index finger. It gleamed against the moonlight that seeped through the window along with the charmed bracelet on my wrist.

I pursed my lips as my eyes burned again, the lump in my throat reappearing. I was threatened by my own tears, my own emotions. Father.

The bright full moon blurred as a hateful tear slipped down my cheeks. Or was it more?

I'm starting to hate the weakness in me. As if tears were supposed to bring back my father. As if regret was going to bring me back in time so that I could protect him. As if anger was going to somehow turn into strength.

The sound of a click snapped my attention back to reality. I whipped my head towards the door and I was just in time to witness parted lips that turned into a frown.

I remember.

I remember him. Thank god.

"Hibari," I whispered with a smile.

He took some step closer and I quickly wiped away the tears with my inner wrist. I turned slowly, throwing my legs over the bed. When I lowered my toes onto the ground, the spike of coolness chilled me. The tiled floor was cold despite the warm summer air and for a second I contemplated on sleeping on the ground tonight.

I took my few bare footed steps towards him, stopping before him. I wondered why I never noticed exactly how much he was taller than me. It was maybe four/five inches? Hmm. And why was he still wearing his school uniform? At least he has some regard for the summer because he didn't have the black gakuen draped over his shoulders. It was just a short sleeved white button up and black pants. An the armband. Really like what is he going to be disciplining here? Actually, don't answer that.

I was honestly surprised. That he was standing here before me. That he actually came. Took him long enough.

He moved up his hand and I wondered what he was going to do. Pat me- "You came-"

Whack.

Ouch! "What was that for?" I pouted.

"For using profanity against me."

I almost laughed. I called Hibari a bastard. Holy hell. I said 'fuck you' to him. Oh dear.

"I was angry-"

Whack.

Ow! "H-hey!" I tried to glare, puffing my cheeks for effect.

"For trying to waste my good efforts."

"I didn't-"

Whack.

Hmph! I just sighed now, staring up at him. "And that?"

He glanced away. "For doing indecent acts without asking me."

Indecent? I couldn't help but giggle. And perhaps it was too dark and I could be wrong, but maybe… Just maybe there was a slight pinkness to his pale face.

"I gave you something important to me too," I grinned and he scoffed, arms crossed in front of his chest. My first. Punk. Okay well that was totally my doing but… but… Whatever.

"You have a lot of nerve." I'm not sure 'nerve' was the correct term to assess my previous actions. I was reckless, a bit out of my mind. But I don't know. I don't think I regret it.

"Hey," I said, placing a hand on the crook of his arm and prying his arms down. My hand snaked down his forearm before I grabbed his hand, feeling a tad nervous all of a sudden as I pushed away the thought of how soft his skin is other than his calloused palms.

"I'm glad." He only turned his head a fraction towards me, the bangs in the middle of his face shifted slightly. "That I can remember you now."

I wonder if it was the warm summer air but his hand felt especially warm. Or perhaps I was just exceptionally aware. Or the fact that I felt rather warm myself (especially my face).

I could imagine myself as a glass of liquid, tipping over to a hard surface. The shell shattered and its content spilled everywhere for those present to witness. And I wondered if he would be in the hurry to clean up a mess such as myself.

I took a step closer, slowly wrapping my arms around him. I hugged him; the side of my cheek pressed against his strong back. There was the scent of laundry mixed with his own unique one that makes me realize that this must be what his house smells like too. He tensed up slightly and I started to question what I was doing. But I don't regret this either.

"I know you never asked for this but.." I whispered. "I place my sanity in your hands."

I chose to use the word sanity. But there was something heavier, more precious to me than my mind.

There was nothing poetic about honesty or raw emotions. But perhaps it being just that is what made it a passionate, expressive symphony.

"So please don't ever leave me too."

Ah. I must have been going crazy. I just requested what is ironically impossible to the most aloof cloud. Always drifting, unattached. Plus he was never grounded next to me anyways. Never had a reason to.

"Please help me. In this time where I can't help myself. Just for now."

Speak. Say something, please. Anything.

A shift. He moved a bit, pulling my arms away from him. He turned around to face me, his gray eyes taking on an expression I wasn't sure of. He held me at a bent arm's length and here I am thinking it was progress.

"Herbivore, you still have a lot of nerve left to be asking for so much from me."

I smiled, happy that I was able to find his voice. And it wasn't really a no.

And as of this moment, I became painfully aware of a certain fact that was already obvious. I wasn't allowed access to his thoughts. As I stared into his deep gray with a slight hint of blue eyes, ones of such a beautiful color, all I found was a reflection of me.

And perhaps there was more. But I could only guess. And I was never good at guessing.

So I here I was, standing before a man I could not possibly hope to understand. And then there was me, unsure whether or not my mind was a chaotic or a collective mess.

But I suppose it was life. You couldn't hope to understand other people because… It was hard enough understanding yourself. And even then, do you really?

Though the little world, created upon this moment, went on regardless. There were only two people inhabiting that world. There was a guy with unwavering, piercing gray blue eyes who didn't like to rely on words. Then there was the girl with wavering brown eyes and dusted pink cheeks who made up for his lack of speech, honest and honestly a bit too reckless.

Hibari was always so taciturn unless it came to discipline, fighting, or Namimori. Which almost comes together to be one and the same anyways. A little part of me wished that he would voice what he was thinking more. Part of me was scared of knowing. But most of me… Most of me knew that this was how he is. This was Hibari. And in all honesty, despite how difficult it would be for me to understand him, I wouldn't want to change him.

Because if I did, I would have just walked away already. But I was doing just the opposite.

"I'm not weak. I'm just a bit lost." I placed a shaky hand onto his steady arm.

We were just two people during a warm summer night.

There was the a slight medicated smell to this room, the entire blankness of the walls and everything in it faded into the insignificant background.

The moonlight timidly seeped in through the window, illuminating our pale skins in the otherwise unlit room.

The only noise that could be heard was a distant sound of a faraway clock, the eerie quiet spell of this place was only ever broken by our faint whispers and the unignorable beating of my own restless heart. I wonder if he could hear it too.

"Hibari?"

Everything was so ordinary, so typical. There was no magic whatsoever unless you counted the science of medicine. But for some reason, there was something about this completely plain scene that painted itself onto the canvas of my mind into something just a little bit more.

"Hn?"

We were just two people.

And it just so happens that the person standing beside me..

In this otherwise easily forgettable scene with a boring backdrop...

In this perfectly insignificant day to everyone else in the world, was…

"Help me. Help me find myself.

..Like how you found me."

Him.