I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly,
acutely miserable, racked with sorrow,
but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.

-Agatha Christie

The Christmas Market at Union Square was a yearly tradition in the city charming both the locals and the tourists. Long and winding pathways were flanked on either side by booths erected in the center of the square and everywhere you looked was a sight to behold. Every year local merchants from all over the city and state would gather here just before Thanksgiving to offer up their finest creations whether they be hand-sewn clothes, vintage jewelery, old-fashioned and wooden toys, french perfumes, baked goods or hand-blown glass ornaments. I was nervous climbing the steps out of the subway and emerging in the midst of the bustling crowds, but Edward's light touch at the small of my back was enough to coax me forward.

It only took a few minutes for me to become dazzled by the sight of festive red and green lights strung from the booths and into the trees, the sounds of the laughing kids chasing eachother wildly with gooey sticky-bun fingers outstretched, and smells of hot chocolate and spiced apple pies floating in the air. Before I knew it, I was happily strolling along with Ed as we wound our way up and down the paths until we walked out into the clearing of the square leaving most of the crowd behind us. It was a cold night but pleasent from the lack of wind chill, and the square offered up its usual treasure; the people-watching. I giggled at a funny comment Ed murmured to me about some loud girls not far from us who'd had a bit too much eggnog, and while looking around us it hit me. I was out. I was living a normal life, and having fun like a normal person. And I wasn't afraid. I wasn't even slightly anxious. Elric's golden gaze held mine for a moment, washing warmth over me, and I couldn't stop myself. My arms latched around his hard torso in a fierce hug and I buried my face in his shoulder.

"Thank you." I whispered, breathing in the scent of soft leather mixed with his usual crisp and clean aroma. I felt him still in surprise, and just when I thought I had made a mistake and over-stepped a boundary, I felt his strong arms wrap around my shoulders.

"You're welcome."

We stayed in the market a bit longer, stopping at a couple booths so I could find something to bring to my Grandmother Pinako. She would be hosting Christmas as usual, and I wanted to bring her a little something as a thank you. I had been keeping my distance from her, in effort to keep her out of danger, but I knew I would have to come up with some excuse for my golden shadow. When I found the perfect item Edward insisted on paying for it, seeing how he would be crashing our holiday this year and didn't want to show up empty-handed. I surrendered after a few moments of back-and-forth, quickly realizing the man wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. We chatted animatedly about what our classic Christmas movie favorites were and as he opened his wallet and took out a bill, the cashier spied his hand and shrinked back. Edward had forgotten the glove he usually wore out in publc. The cashier quickly collected himself and went on as usual, taking the bill and handing back the change with shaky fingers. The spark of joy Ed's eyes held during our talk of A Christmas Story had quickly deflated to a state of clear disenchantment. He handed me the bag with Pinako's new smoking pipe and kept his gaze to the ground.

"Lets go." He grabbed my hand in his cold steel one and motioned to follow as we left the stand, but I pulled him to a stop at the crystal clear sound of a child's voice ringing out over the surrounding noise.

"Look Mommy! Look how shiny!" A little boy of no more than four was pointing at Edward's mechanical hand laced with my organic one with sparkling wonder in his chocolate eyes. "Mommy look at his hand, it shines like a Christmas ornament!"

The boy's Mother, clearly embarrassed by her son's outburst, danced her eyes back and forth between my smiling face and Ed's look of alarm. "Jake, dear, it's not polite to point or stare at people." She softly admonished, crouching down to her meet her son's eye level.

"But Mommy look at it! Look at the colors!" He responded enthusiastically, to which Ed and I looked at eachother clearly with the same question in mind. Colors? We looked down and sure enough, the glowing bulbs of red, green, blue and white that hung in the Christmas trees surrounding us were reflected bubbles of light in the silvery chrome of Edward's prosthetic.

"Jake that's enough." She grasped her son's hand and stood. "I apologize, Sir."

"It's okay!" I piped up with a smile. I could feel Ed's uneasiness and I gently nudged him forward as I stooped to address the boy.

"Hi Jake, my name's Winry, and this is my friend Edward." I looked up at Ed over my shoulder, his hand still clutching my own and his face the pure image of apprehension. "Would you like to see Edward's shiny hand?" The boys face lit up and I tugged Edward down next to me. Unlacing my fingers from Ed's, I held his hand out for the boy who happily grabbed it and yanked it up above his head to capture the glow of the Christmas lights once again. I couldn't help giggling at Ed's state of discomfort and I exchanged warm smiles with his Mother. The boy let go of the nervous State Alchemist a moment later and pulled his Mother close to bashfully whisper in her ear,

"Isn't it beautiful?"

My heart squeezed in my chest and I fought back tears, along with the urge to hug the boy. His Mother nodded in agreement, beaming proudly at her son who clearly saw the silver linings on dark clouds, and they wished us a Happy Holiday and went on their way. Edward sat slumped over next to me, staring at the ground where the boy stood with unseeing eyes.

"Ed? You okay?" He blinked back into reality at the sound of my voice, and stood pulling me up with him.

"I'm fine," He replied softly. "He just... he just reminded me of someone." My eyes roamed his face for a moment, taking in the furrowed brow, the hard and sorrowful eyes, the full lips set in a grim line.

"Tell me?" I asked quietly. I could see his internal battle playing across his features, and he finally breathed out a sigh of defeat. We had agreed to be more open.

"Most people don't know how to react when they see my automail. Usually they become nervous or even stare in shock, but they won't say anything and they tend to go the other way. Kids are a crap-shoot because they're so honest. Most of the time when they see their parents be wary of me, they in-turn become afraid. Sometimes they'll be a bit more vocal or descriptive when loudly announcing my strangeness to their parents, because kids don't have filters. Its uncommon for them to like me."

We made our way toward Broadway and hailed a cab home from there.

"I was twenty the last time I'd encountered someone like that boy. She was four years old, and her name was Nina."

We were home in front of the lit fire place when Edward finished telling me the heart-wrenching story of Nina. He had stopped several times during the explanation on the cab ride over, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths to calm himself. I had placed my hand over his metal one and assured him that he didn't have to tell me about this if he didn't want to. But he shook his head and insisted, saying that it had been years since he'd last mentioned her to anyone and that she didn't deserve that.

It was nine years ago, and Ed had been sent upstate by the military to gaurd the Tucker household, which consisted of Shou Tucker -a scientist- and his four year-old, Nina. Tucker's wife had been murdered two years prior and the killer was now claiming to be back for Nina's life. Since Shou Tucker had been a scientist for the military for years, Roy Mustang -a colonol at the time- placed them in Edward's charge. Months went by with no incidents, during which Ed and Nina had become almost like siblings. When the military felt that the threat against the Tuckers had gone away, Edward was sent back to Central Command in the city to recieve his next assignment. When Ed returned three days later to retrieve a bag he'd forgotten, he'd walked in on the killer in Tucker's home. But it was too late.

"Shou Tucker was the killer all along." Ed explained. The flames from the fire place danced in his hard eyes and he continued. "He had gone mad years earlier, convinced that he could bring the dead to life. First he killed his wife and attempted to bring her back with science. When he failed he covered it up and spent the following two years researching what he couldve missed. He alerted the military knowing that they would send me, and I became the perfect distraction for Nina. He knew that I would wind up spending most of my time with her, keeping her happy and entertained so she wouldn't go looking for him. It bought him all the time he needed to prepare. When I came back, he had killed her and was shocking her dead body with electricity saying how he had discovered the key to life. Nina's biggest threat was tucking her in every night and I never noticed."

His gaze left the fire and refocused on my own.

"I got too close. I was too busy having a little sister and I wasn't focused on the mission. It should have been a red flag to me that the threats stopped as soon as I showed up."

I found myself at a loss for words, and I reached to cover his automail hand with mine but he pulled back, his golden gaze falling to the rug under us.

"I shouldn't be telling you this. You're not supposed to know anything about me." He said before recapturing my eyes with his own. "Nina got killed because I was distracted and let my gaurd down. I can't let that happen to you."

Worry shot through me; the idea of going back to living with a stranger was not something I was willing to entertain. I straightened up a bit and faced him bravely.

"We agreed to be open, remember? You telling me about yourself isn't going to get me killed."

"We agreed to be open but there are some things about what I do that I just can't tell you and you have to accept that. Nina is a lesson for the both of us to not get so comfortable. I saw her as a sister and spent too much time with her and not enough time focusing on Shou Tucker. I'm glad I could help you face a fear today but we can't keep having these heart-to-hearts that don't pertain to finding your stalker."

"I don't understand what you're getting at." I responded. He let out an exhasperated sigh and ran a hand through his hair before locking his eyes on me.

"I can't risk becoming attached. I cared too much for Nina, and when she died it nearly killed me. I can't make the same mistake again, Winry. I can't let you be any more to me than a casual aquaintance."

He rose from his spot next to me and headed for the guest bedroom, but stopped briefly when my mind's filter stopped working and I blurted out,

"I could mean more to you?"

"No," He replied with a single shake of his head. "You can't."

I prepared for bed with a flurry of butterflies in my stomach and a million questions in my head. How could someone be so open one second and then completly shut down the next? How could he think that talking to me would mean letting his gaurd down? Was he insinuating that I could be important to him? I set down my hair brush on the sink and broke myself out of my hypnotic state, when the most important question surged to the fore front of my mind: Why did I care?

Why did it matter so much to me that we be more than strangers? He was here to protect me, thats all, and it pissed me off to hear him ordering me around like everyone else; telling me where to go, what to eat, how to dress. I knew he was only doing his job but I had to admit there was a small part of me that secretly hoped that his bossiness was a product not only of the military's concern, but his concern. I wanted him to care for my safety not because of his mission, but because it would mean he felt something for me. But why?

I stripped down to my lacy black undies and slid into bed, opting to sleep in my short silk robe; I hated wearing pajamas to bed only to wake up to them twisted around me uncomfortably. I shut off the bedside lamp and pulled the blankets over me, thinking about everything that had happened over the past weeks and realizing that while I had gotten the daylights scared out of me, no one had actually tried to hurt me. This brought a small smile to my face because it meant that maybe Ed was just being his normal, overprotective self. I would find a way to make him see that we didn't need to be strangers in order to keep me safe. Ever since he arrived, I had always been safe. Whoever was leaving me voicemails and sending me fake bodies was afraid of Edward.

But my moment of peace was lost on the idea that if my crazed stalker was afraid of Edward, perhaps I should be afraid of him too. He wouldn't tell me much about his life, and Mustang had yet to deliver any clues on who could be after me. What if the military were the ones behind this? Did Mustang want me gone? My mind raced back to Kimblee's words of warning. Was this why Edward said he couldn't become attached to me? What if Edward was sent here not to protect me, but to kill me?

My hand flew to my mouth with a gasp at the thought, and I told myself I had to be wrong. If Ed wanted to kill me, he could have easily done it anytime he wanted. Its not like I could put up much of a fight against a government assasin with steel appendages and enough weapons and gadgets to make Batman jealous. How could a ruthless killer look at me with those sunny eyes the way he did? Or have such a careful, feather-light touch on me as though I were made of glass? The military wouldn't waste so much time and tax-payer's money on orchestrating this just so they could get rid of me. A killer wouldn't stock my fridge. A killer wouldn't share his flaws with me. A killer wouldn't tell me to not be afraid.

But Edward was a killer. I just wasn't sure which side he was on.

I decided that it didn't matter whether I should fear an obsessive stalker or the man I'd been told to trust, because if I continued on and didn't force myself to get some sleep, then surely it would be my very own thoughts that would become the death of me.

A/N: The reviews have been wonderful, thank you all. I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors, I've been working with outdated technology and am doing the best I can. To answer a few points: yes Pinako is a little different in this story and isn't in it almost at all. She loves Winry very much but is still her usual ball-busting self. That's why she's all "take your stuff". Also, I cannot hint either way if Alphonse will or won't be a part of this story. I haven't finished the story yet, but I do know how it's going to end. I'm currently at a fork-in-the-road when it comes to Al. I've brainstormed two directions in which the story could go; one with Al and one without him. I love both storylines, so I haven't yet decided which road I'll take. Thank you all again for your valued attention, I'll be sure to repay your kindness with another chapter in a few days.