For anonymous, who requested "Lady Phase, daughter edition."
Kensi looks down at the box and then up at her husband. "Ultra thin?"
He has the same deer-in-the-headlights look on his face now as he did thirty minutes ago when she asked him to go to the store. "I don't know what size she is!"
Kensi raises an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, size?"
"You know," he lowers his voice, "inside."
"Are you under the impression that tampons are selected because of vagina width?"
"I'll go ahead and file that under expressions I never wanted to hear."
She smiles because he's adorable and really, really uncomfortable. "Vagina width."
"You're awful."
"So should I read something into the fact that you always buy me supers?"
He wiggles his eyebrows, suddenly back in his comfort zone. "Well I just have to assume if you can fit -"
"Oh god, Dad, gross." Their daughter appears in the doorway, looking horrified. "I mean, I know you guys, like, do it all the time but I don't actually want to hear about it."
"I was going to say 'a beautiful baby girl.' If you can fit a beautiful baby girl - with a seriously over-sized head and really pointy shoulders, by the way."
"Sure you were." Alice grabs the box from his hands and retreats into the bathroom.
"I was!"
Kensi shakes her head and calls after their daughter. "Let me know if you need help, honey."
"I'd rather hear Dad talk more about sex than have you in here for this, Mom."
He perks up at that. "Would you like to hear about the time you were conceived?"
Kensi turns toward the kitchen. "I think it's time for you to show me what kinds of chocolate you bought."
"I thought that was for Alice."
"No, you didn't."
He grins and follows after her. "No, I didn't."