For anonymous
"I took a pregnancy test."
"Are you reporting a crime?"
The look on her face says, really? but he can't really hear anything because of all the pounding in his ears.
"Sorry," he says.
He takes a few (hopefully) discreet breaths and tries to settle his pulse. They don't talk about babies, don't talk about families. He feels like he's walking a tightrope when he casually mentions anything alluding to marriage. But, god, how he wants it. Wants it all.
"Aren't you going to ask me what the result was?"
"Well, since you aren't hyperventilating and fighting off a case of hives, I'm going to guess it was negative."
She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Ever the detective."
"I know you pretty well by now."
"I was terrified."
He wraps an arm around her and she immediately melts into his embrace. "I know."
"And relived."
He kisses her head. "I know that too."
They're silent for a few moments, and he spends the time memorizing the feel of her pressed against him - the weight of her, inch by inch. He doesn't have to remind himself that this, her - it's what he wants in life. It's what makes him happy.
"Will I ever be ready?"
"I don't think anyone ever is, Kens, but it's not preparedness you're really lacking."
She turns her head so he can see her face, and her eyes glisten with unshed tears. "Will I ever want it?"
He hopes so, but he's not sure. She wants to want it, and she wants him, and he wants her, and they're together for whatever it is that life hands them next. That's enough. More than he ever thought he deserved; more than he ever thought he'd have.
He holds her a little tighter. "We've got the rest of our lives to figure it out."