I never knew much about people until I took one apart...
Just to see how it worked.
-unknown
It was so hard to be mad at him. Any rush of anger swelling toward the surface was immediately pushed down by his hushed voice hovering over me. The brightly burning flame of resentment effectively snuffed out by his solid arms holding me; clutching me to him. Like he was afraid. Like he thought he wouldn't find me here. Like he cared.
'Yea, like he cared alright.'
I regained my wits and pushed out of his grasp, instantly feeling colder.
"What are you doing here? Why did you break in? If you wanted your stupid bear skin so bad I would've just brought it to Central." I'd caught him off gaurd and he flashed utter confusion; I could see him quickly trying to assemble a response in his mind and submit it to himself for consideration instead of just blurting out angrily. Good for him. I'd never had the talent for stopping 'word vomit'. He finally clicked something together that left me equally stupefied and grasping for enlightenment.
"You think I came back because of that? I thought the worst had happened!"
I gaped at him in total perplexity and he asked,
"You haven't answered my calls or texts. I know you're mad at me, but what the hell?" His eyes didn't look angry. He wasn't even yelling really. More than anything he seemed frustrated, exhausted, exasperated. He was different. I had mentally and emotionally prepared myself for all out war with him if I were ever to see his face again, but now he was in front of me and I was completely disarmed.
"What do you mean you thought the worst had happened?" He reeled back in wary disbelief.
"You mean you had no idea. Not a clue?"
"What are you babbling about Ed?!" I was beyond aggitated. He pulled out his phone and stepped to me, pushing it at me angrily.
"I came back because of this!" He hissed. "What the fuck is this, Winry?"
He presented me with an image of me in bed, fast asleep. Someone else had taken it. My eyes shot up to his.
"Scroll through." He said. I swiped over once, twice, again and again and again until the final image bounced back in retaliation. They were all pictures of me asleep. Different angles, and judging from my varied attire, different nights. I looked up at him in horror. The reoccuring dreams I'd had where it felt like Edward was there were really my subconsious picking up on someone standing in my bedroom. Someone in the shadows, watching me. The final image was sent with a text:
*She's so beautiful when her body lies motionless.*
My heart fell to my feet and nausea swept through me. I handed back the phone in disgust and he slipped it in his jacket.
"That last image was sent to me three times, over the span of three hours. He took it from a different angle each time but you hadn't moved an inch. I didn't know if he took them all at once and sent them to me seperately or if they were happening in real time. I thought you were dead."
"So you came back to see for yourself? Why didn't you just call someone?"
"I called you, remember? On New Years Eve I called after I got the first picture to see if you were okay. You sounded fine on the phone so I didn't say anything to you, there was no point in upsetting you at the time. I just made Riza aware." My mind rushed back the the night when I was awoken by his phone call. The way he sounded at the end of it; desperately imploring me to know that I wasn't alone. That he was watching over me. Then I realized why Riza and Mustang spent all New Year's Day on the phone hollering at different officials, fighting against her orders to leave me. They knew about this. Everyone knew except me.
"So everyone on the fucking planet knows someone's been breaking in here but no one told me?! You all just LEFT me here?!" I said. I was suddenly feeling very exposed from dealing with my emotions over Edward, finding out that someone was still fucking around with me, and standing in my livingroom yelling in my big sweater and underwear. I stormed to my room in search of my silk robe to cover up with as Elric followed close behind, shedding his jacket.
"It's not like that. None of us wanted to leave you here but its so complicated. We couldn't tell you anything, it would only risk putting you in more danger." I wasn't buying it. "I swear to you I didn't want to leave. I had to Winry. I had to keep you safe." This stopped me.
"Keeping me safe huh?" I challenged sarcastically, looking back at him over my shoulder. I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine ala the night he left me high and dry in the shower, and I stepped into the moonlight letting my sweater fall to the floor before pulling my tshirt over my head. He had been behind me across the room going on about how he was under orders and couldn't tell me anything because it would risk my safety when his words slowed then fell away from him mid sentance. I could feel his gaze pouring over me then drinking me in as I stood there in my black lace unmentionables, letting the moon wash its pale white beams over me. I took my sweet time searching for my silk robe before finally slipping it over me and closing it. The jerk deserved that.
"Don't do that." He said. I turned back to face him. "Do what?"
"Don't play dumb, you're not gonna weaponize sex against me, Rockbell." This rocketed me off into the great galaxy of pissed-offness.
"You wanna talk about using sex as a weapon?! You've got no right to stand there and ask for my understanding. You don't deserve anything from me because you already got what you wanted. You did the same thing to me that every guy has ever done and ever wanted to do, and I'm not going to be the victim anymore. Not to the military, not to my stalker, and especially not to you. You're all just protecting your jobs. Don't stand there acting like you give a shit about me. You used me for my body! You fucked me and you LEFT!" I stormed past him heading toward the front door when he grabbed my wrist and yanked me back. He radiated anger.
"My heart stopped!" He bellowed, grasping my shoulders. "I got that text, and my heart stopped. I dropped everything, I sacrificed the mission to get back to you. When Mustang finds out that I'm here he'll destroy me, but I don't care. I never would have left if it were up to me. Something happened and I had to go to Finland." His expression was raw, seeing him up close again let me take in the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, three-day scruff on his jaw, his dishelved hair. His long-sleeve black shirt was wrinkled and pushed to his elbows, the wide neckline hanging looser than usual revealing the ragged edge of metal plating bolted roughly into his defined clavacle. How could someone look like hell and still be mouth watering?
"I had to leave Winry," He continued. "I didn't want to, I was forced to. Someone delivered a note to Mustang's door the night we slept together saying that if any State Alchemists were here at daybreak they'd send a firebomb through the window. So Riza came to replace me. I had no time to explain and I had to hide the evidence of what we did that night before Riza showed up. I would NEVER use you." I took in his story quietly. His words savored so strongly of concern; his passionate conviction making it difficult for me to not believe him. The way he looked at me made it impossible for me to be mad at him. He was clearly beyond exhausted, yet putting up such a strong fight against my insecurities. So focused on protecting me not only from the dangers outside, but from the damaging falsehoods my tortured mind was entertaining. I shouldn't have accused him of not caring. He had already showed me in so many ways that he did.
I sighed, lowering my defense. "You look...awful. Are you alright?" I asked. He calmly pulled me into his arms again and ran his fingers through my hair.
"I am now."
I woke up again at nearly 5 am to soft murmuring in the living room. I had made Ed something to eat earlier and when finished he passed out cold on the couch before the empty dish touched the sink. I stood for a moment before heading to bed, watching him sleep and taking in how relaxed he looked in that moment. More relaxed than I had ever known him to be. The Edward I had known was like a wolf, in a constant state of sharp awareness. But this man was sprawled out lazily, softly snoring with his hand scratching his stomach, like a hibernating bear. Slipping out of bed I decided to investigate the soft murmurs and entered the dark livingroom. The shifted moonlight now poured over one end of the couch, illuminating Edward in an etherial glow far different from the gleam he emitted in every day life. My quiet moment of solitude with him was cut short by his brow furrowing and his beautiful face screwing up in discomfort. His hands clenched, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and digging into the couch cushions. I crept towards him slowly and watched as his head started shifting back and forth, his murmurs increasing in volume accompanied by soft groans and grunts. He was having a nightmare. I pulled my silk robe across me tighter as I continued to watch, wrestling with the decision to wake him or let it pass. A sheen of sweat glimmered across his brow as he continued to thrash, his hair releasing wildly from it's restraint. I tiptoed even closer until I was standing over him, taking in his hard panting and the small choked sob that slipped from him. I reached out a hand towards his cheek to comfort him when he groaned,
"What've you done?" I pulled my hand back quickly. He wasn't awake, his speech was slurred. He was quickly becoming more and more upset with every minute that ticked by. His head thrashed around and his body began to twist and contort in effort to relieve his discomfort. I reached out my hand again as his muttering became louder and more urgent.
"What've you done?" He repeated. My hand soothed across his cheek and he stilled immediately, his whole body visibly relaxing. His face crumbled sadly and he sighed out.
"...I'm a monster now. I'm a monster."
It happened in the time span of less than a second. I don't even remember the descent. One moment I was standing over him stroking his cheek and before I knew it, I'd been slammed into the floor with enough force to knock the wind from me. Edward was kneeling over me, his eyes still squeezed shut and jaw clenched; teeth bared ferociously. Strong, cold fingers of metal were vice gripped around my throat, and fire roared in my chest at the lack of oxygen.
"What the hell have you done to me?!" He screamed at me, his eyes never opening, his grip only tightening. I clawed pathetically at his mechanical digits in desperate attempt to free myself, to no avail, and every passing second drained me further of my energy. I tried kicking my legs out but he was kneeling on top of them.
"You turned me into a monster." He half sobbed, before drawing in a shakey breath and screaming. "You fucking bastard, I'M A MONSTER!"
Tears sprang to my eyes and my throat continued to burn as it strained against his hand, begging for air. Fear hammered in my heart. This was it. This was why I should have been afraid of Edward Elric. My hands began to fumble for him, pulling his shirt, scratching his distraught face, anything to stop him. But my energy was waning, my world becoming darker, and as my hand swung out over the large ottoman it connected with something cold and hard. A wrench. I had discovered one of my grandmother's wrenches in the guest closet days ago and left it on the ottoman as a reminder to bring it to her. With my little remaining energy circling the drain, I gathered every ounce of effort I could as I grasped the wrench and swung.
It made a sickening thud as it collided with Edward's temple. Suddenly his hands were gone and my airway was free, but my first draw of breath was fire ripping through me and I hacked uncontrollably. Ed lay on the floor spitting vicous curses and holding his head, a thin line of blood trickling down to drip on the rug. I clumsily scooted back from him, clutching my weapon and coughing horribly as the tears ran free. My unladylike coughing soon conjoined with my sobs of fear and anguish. I had to get away.
Ed began to stir from his spot on the floor, groaning again from the pain of being bashed over the head with iron. My heart lept in my chest at the thought of his attack continuing, until his eyes fluttered open. Soft golden orbs searched the dark, hazy and unfocused, until settling on me. He remained there, on hands and knees, regarding me with utter confusion. I could see the questions flitting behind his eyes. Why was I crying? Why was I coughing? Why was I holding a bloodied wrench? Why did I look terrified?
"Winry?" He rasped softly, sitting back on his heels. He finally snapped into the waking world because his usual alert glare was back. "Win, what happened? What's wrong?"
I tried to sob out a response, but no sound came out. I couldn't speak. The muscles of my throat were so weak I couldn't make even the smallest of sounds. Only huffs of air came out when I realized this and continued to sob. It was so much worse than what I had experienced as a child. I had never been more terrified of anyone or anything in my life. Ed moved to come closer to me, and I pushed myself back frantically, until my back hit the wall. I continued to cough, cough, and cough, shaking my head silently begging him to stay back.
"Winry talk to me, what's-" He stopped. The pieces finally all clicked together. His eyes fell to my throat, taking in flesh now mottled with the yellows and greens of fresh bruising. The wrench smeared with blood and his own blood streaming down from his temple. The horror etched across me. The tears, the coughs and sobs that wracked my body. The way I was nearly paralyzed with fear. His face paled and his eyed widened in horror.
"Oh my God... Winry, I didn't -I didn't mean- I would never..." He was panicking, his hands flew into his loose, dishelved hair in shock. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Winry. I swear to God I can explain, please let me explain. Please Winry you're hurt, let me help you." he begged frantically. I couldn't get near him. I had to get away. I shook my head and could feel myself slipping into a panic attack. I stumbled to my feet and grabbed my keys, dashing away from him as he tried to follow after me.
"Winry PLEASE don't run, I'm begging you! Just let me explain, I didn't know it was you!"
I swung the wrench again and made contact near the same spot, sending him to the floor again. He didn't move this time. A new fear shot through me. I'd seriously hurt him, and I realized just how fucked up it was that I still cared. I dropped the wrench and ran.
My tears and coughing had finally subsided, but my fear pushed on; driving through my heart like an ice pick. I burst through the lobby door and ran out onto the city street, immediately regretting my decision to forgo shoes or proper clothes. I knew Ed was no fool, and had probably noticed that I'd moved my car three days earlier to the small deli parking lot sitting behind my building, to have it close by for emergencies. He hadn't followed me out, and if he woke up my time to escape would be limited. I dashed quickly down the alley running along the building's side and emerged in the small lot in the back, when I heard Ed's voice calling behind me. I turned to find him standing on my apartment building's roof with a sniper rifle at his side, blood and shame laced over his features. My heart froze over with terror. He was going to shoot me. I turned and ran for my car, reaching the driver's side door as he called out,
"It's not safe out there Win! Please come back and I swear I'll explain everything. I'll tell you everything about me and my fucked up problems, just please come inside! You're gonna get frost bite out here. You've barely got any clothes on." I paused at my car, looking at him warily. The only thing that stopped me was the look on his face. He was just as scared as I was.
"For the love of God Winry PLEASE come back inside. I'll leave if that's what you want. I'll stay out here if that's what it takes. But it's not safe for you to be outside right now. I'm begging you to go inside. I'm so sorry Winry, I had no idea it was you. I'm dying inside knowing that I did that to you. I'll never forgive myself!" His voice cracked. "Please Winry, go inside where its safe. I'll stay here and call Mustang. You never have to see me again, I swear." The sound of an approaching car motored in the back ground as I considered Ed's request. Ed's eyes flickered beyond me, and his brow furrowed as he watched an unmarked, white van roar into the lot and screech to a halt a few yards from me. Ed's face suddenly changed and he shouldered his rifle, leveling it at the van.
"Get in your car Winry!" He ordered frantically, his eyes darting back and forth between me and the van which now idled near me. The van's sliding door opened and two men in dark clothes got out and began walking toward me. My mind raced to make a decision between driving away alone and defenseless without a plan, and be chased by the van, or to run back to the apartment with the man who had just nearly killed me. I could no longer tell if it was fear that had me frozen in place, or the lack of feeling in my frigid feet. Just as one of the men reached for me a shot rang out and he dropped to the ground in front of me, eyes wide and unseeing. His fellow henchmen looked around frantically to figure out where the shot came from, when another was sent to the ground motionless with a new hole in his chest.
"RUN WINRY! Drive away NOW!" He screamed from his spot on the roof. His fearful yelling snapped me into action and I backed away quickly to open my car door, but time screetched to a halt when my head was yanked back by my hair and sharp, cold metal was pressed into my neck.
"Which is quicker, Fullmetal? My blade or your bullet?" Rang the smooth and deadly voice of Solf J. Kimblee. I could feel us becoming surrounded by more of Kimblee's henchmen, and they all brandished guns in Ed's direction.
"Consider carefully now. You can let the woman come with me, and you'll both live to fight another day. Or you can challenge all ten of me now, and see how that works out for you." From the corner of my eye I could make out the red sight of Ed's rifle holding steady on Kimblee's forehead, mere inches from my own.
"I've taken down far greater numbers with my hands alone, and you know that. You told Winry to be afraid of me, you should take your own advice!" Ed threatened menacingly. Kimblee threw his head back in laughter.
"Right you are, Elric! I have seen you slaughter dozens of people in seconds like it was nothing. Question is, do you want her to see that?"
"She's already seen the worst of me. Now get your hands off her before I come down there and give you a reason to fear me!" The blade pressed harder against me, and I felt warm wetness stream down my neck.
"Oh I sincerely doubt that she's seen the worst of you. If you were on the ground then we'd have something to talk about, Fullmetal! But I'm down here and you're up there, and we both know I'll cut her down before you can get here. You may be uncommonly fast, but you're no God. I like making deals and I love watching you squirm, so I have a proposition for you. You can give me a head start, and I swear on my title as a State Alchemist that your Winry will not be harmed. Or, I can shoot you..."
Ten guns ratcheted and took aim at Edward as Kimblee continued,
"...and I'll slit her throat and, well I guess we'll all just be done here!" Ed's sharp eyes never faltered, forever focused on his aim on Kimblee.
"Oh, and you can get your fucking laser sight off my head now. If you shoot me, they'll shoot her. Look, I'm tired of chatting about this. I'm not running this show, I'm following orders and someone is expecting us so we really must be going now." A wet rag came into my sight and I tried to leap back from it with no luck. The cloth covered my mouth and nose, and after a few moments of struggling I couldn't hold my breath any longer. I inhaled the stench of chloriform, and instantly my vision swam. Sight, smell, taste and touch fell away from me, and the last thing I recalled was Edward's voice, screaming my name over the gun fire.
A/N: Theres a lot of important information packed into this chapter and the next few. It may get a little confusing at times and warrant a second reading or a revisit to a previous chapter if need be, but hang in there because I promise it'll be worth your valued attention. Some questions will be answered in the near future, and others a little later. As usual, more soon.