Tara slowly lowered herself to the floor and let out a sigh of relief as the ice-cool tile made contact with her feverish cheek. She had no idea why she had said those things . Spike was threatened and she had reacted; but she had barely said boo anytime before in her life and here she was dressing down a woman who, despite her small size, could shatter every bone in Tara's body if the desire so arose. She could feel the burning tears slide down her cheeks but made no sound.
Suddenly, her eyelids felt like they were weighted down by sacks of sand. She tried to move but ever last inch of her was just too exhausted to even twitch and the darkness overtook her.
She awoke what felt like hours later laying on the same floor , she wondered why Spike hadn't woken her when she noticed a spot on her shirt. She was a bit shocked because it wasn't the shirt she had fallen asleep in or had worn recently, though it was hers. It was her blue one but for some reason it had a stain just above her left breast. She was so transfixed by it that she didn't even realize that the bathroom floor was now covered in an inch deep layer of blood. Her hair was wet and so were her clothes , the smell of copper thick in the air and her feverish skin now felt as cold as ice. She unsteadily pushed herself off the floor and went to the sink to clean herself off. She was just about to turn on the tap when the sight of Spike burning in the mirror caught her off guard, She stumbled back over a rock and with that she was no longer in the bathroom anymore but in a deep cavern watching him just burn. She rushed to him and as they embraced a jolt of pure light hit them both and she felt her whole entire being washed clean along with his. They were both dressed in pure white, she in a dress and he in jean and a t-shirt. She snickered for a split second, even in her wildest dreams, Spike wouldn't be caught undead wearing a suit. He smiled at her and she smiled at him and suddenly they were outside of town watching everything fall into the crater that was Sunnydale, they just turned and started walking away … Spike stopped, thought a moment and turned back , he stopped after a foot, picked up a rock, and hit the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign just at the right angle that it too fell back into the crater and then he walked back smiling in the midday sun, and they both went down the road, as free as a bird.
This time she woke to a concerned Spike shaking her.
" You OK, Glinda. You're burning up and I've been shaking you for a minute or two."
"Fine Spike, how long have I been out?" Tara asked as she yawned and started sitting up.
"Bout ten or so minutes. Figured I'd give you a little breathing room even though you verbally kicking the Slayer's ass got me all hot and bothered" He smirked and lent her a hand.
"Spike, I had a dream ..." she started to be silenced by Spike's fingers.
" No time for dreams now, heart. Seems that sassy little brunette gave us the slip and left the Summers bed a little more than kindling. Saw you in here but decided the ranting Slayer needed more attention. I got a feeling where she might be going, the watcher's gonna keep Buffy at bay and you and I gotta go on a little road trip right this second so we can get there before I become a briquette"
Her eyes got big and the house was a blur as she ran out the door to the Desoto.
She reflected on her dream and he was lost in his own thoughts until they were in LA. He threw his car into park outside a hotel and turned to her and looked at her warmly as he put some money in her hand.
"Do you trust me, Glinda?" He said with a touch of vulnerability in his eyes and his voice.
She smiled and touched her forehead to his, " With every bit of my being, Spike. To the ends of the earth no matter what trouble may find us I will always have your back and you will always have my trust" She said confidently with some worry in her voice as to why he was asking.
" Gotta go see a guy about something. I figure Faith is gonna take a little longer to get all her ducks in a row and I think she's gonna be here to settle her beef with the poof. If I'm not back in time, I need you to go see Angel to warn him and then leave without me. Three days, I need you to promise me ..." he implored her with his eyes.
She was about to protest and almost did but then stopped herself. She said that she trusted him and now she had to put her action where he words were. She kissed him hard and played with his hair. "You be safe and come back to me" she sobbed a little but remained steadfast in her need to show him she understood. He kissed her eyelids and slowly pulled back she got out of the car and stood in the early dawn until she could no longer see his headlights. The same thoughts went through their head at the same time …. they had never said I love you … but they both realized ... it didn't need to be said.
She was in shambles as she checked out of the hotel but she was on a mission , save Angel to save Faith . Spike had given her the address with the money and she diced it was best if she walked, it wouldn't be sundown for another half hour or so, so she walked the distance in about 25 minutes , lost in her thoughts of hoping Spike was OK.
She was just about to enter the building when something nagged at her gut to turn around . It was starting to rain and as she turned she backed up into the entryway to protect herself from the downpour that was now occurring. She saw the girl with the broken soul going into the building across the street. She spent a few minutes contemplating then took off after her.
She reached the roof following the wet footprints and was just in time to see the bolt fly out of the bow and smash into what was probably Angel's window , she prayed it hadn't found its mark, took a deep breath, and stepped towards the hunched girl.
The girl was alerted when Tara flicked her hair back and she was taken back for a moment by the anger in the girls eyes, she swallowed the frog in her throat and spoke anyway.
" You know it won't kill the pain, don't you? ..." cut through the sound of the fat droplets smashing onto the roof.
Spike felt awful. He had been gone longer than what he had hoped for and he knew his girl would be a wreck. Dammit, he had to find a way to tell her . He didn't know what he was going to say or how he was going to do it but right now that didn't matter cause he had to find her and that's what he was doing as he raced through the halls to the Poof's place of residence. He pushed open the door and a bewildered Angel looked up at him just as he saw the glint in the window.
He sighed as he ran towards Angel and thought to himself "The Watcher and now The Poof? … What Now ... Goodbye Big Bad …. Hello White Hat Nancy Boy Tribe"
The anger in Angel's face was replaced by confusion as the bolt smashed the window and imbedded itself in Spike's shoulder where his head once was . Spike screamed in pain.
"Bloody lovely... `of course it would have holy water in the tip of the damn thing … can't wait to have to wear those crucifix underwear to save the whelp next week"
He ripped out the bolt from his shoulder and for good measure put his foot through the Poof's TV before he looked upon him with disdain. " Faith … Next Door " he grunted out as he pushed passed him and hoped that it permeated his thick forehead to follow.
In no time the two master vampires had made it to the roof and a surprising scene.
Faith didn't answer and just looked at Tara with pure fury as she returned to standing. Tara said a few words and hoped that fate and hope had her back,
" It's okay Faith, I understand … understand what its like to look in the mirror and hate who is looking back . To feel so goddamn h-h-hopeless that you pray somehow Tod-d-days the day you die . Feeling like all that anyone ever sees is that monster. Eventually you become so convinced that you are that m-m—monster that you just give in and be the best bitch you can be. If you d-d-don't let anyone in then no one can see the mess inside right"
The knife that Faith threw bounced off the shield and Tara sighed a breath of relief the spell actually worked before continuing.
" I understand the death wish , I understand it all . The need to end your pain but it doesn't help. My mother is proof of that. She killed herself because she felt helpless just like you and I and you know what then … the pain just grew. There was no peace for anyone she ever touched, it was nothing but grief and tears and loss but I understand"
Faiths fingers tore as she ripped brick right out of the mortar and started screaming at her.
"Who the fuck are you , Florence? Who the fuck are you to UNDERSTAND me? -SMASH- I killed someone, not a vampire or a demon , a fucking living breathing human being -SMASH- … but OH YOU UNDERSTAND ?!" -SMASH-
Each sharp breath she took was followed by a brick becoming dust against the shield but Tara kept on walking forward.
" You don't know SHIT. I NEED TO DIE, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ? -SMASH- I AM NOTHING BUT A MONSTER -SMASH- … WORTHLESS -SMASH- … SOULESS -SMASH- … THING "
Tara grabbed the brick mid swing and looked her dead in the eye " I Understand" She said softly looking directly into Faith's eyes, not even blinking as she felt the brick lower . She wrapped her arms around Faith and breathed a deep gulp of air as she felt Faith hold onto her and the cold rain drops made way for warm tears. The goddess was with her … the shield had stopped working when she had grabbed the brick.
Spike and Angel watched from the door, Spike stopped Angel from moving with a hand barring the door after the crying started.
"I just saved you life." He started without even looking at Angel " You may have been able to dodge it, you may have survived it but those are ifs that were left unanswered when I took a bloody bolt filled with holy water to save your ass". He took an unneeded breath and saw that Angel was not stirring so most likely listening " We call it even if you let them and me out of the city. All you have to do is walk down those stairs right now and don't try to stop up" He could feel Angel tense and have a counter argument like he always did " And if you say a fucking bloody thing about paying for what she done all I have to say to that is Drusilla, Ms Calendar, and about a million other innocents and I say again mate , just ...walk ..away.. "
He felt the gust of wind and was alone in the stairwell.
He didn't say a word just walked towards his girl, kissed her head and wrapped his duster around Faith and picked her up with little protest.
Tara played with her hair and hummed with Faith's head on her lap as Spike drove out of LA.
She waited for Faith to go to sleep and kept looking into the rear view until a thought-consumed Spike saw she was trying to get his attention.
She continued to pet Faith's hair and said softly " We need to leave Sunnydale"
He sighed and tapped the steering wheel as he answered softly back " I know"