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Butters

"Lick the shit! Lick the shit! Lick the shit!" The group chanted, all except for Butters and a few others. He shuddered as Cartman pushed the litter tray towards him. Butters gagged, the smell of fecal matter filling his nostrils.

Sadie looked at Butters and sighed.

"Does he really have to lick it?" Hope filled Butters. Wow, someone is really stickin' up for me!

"C'mon fellas, do I have to?" He pleaded.

"Fuck yeah, you do. Mmmm, just sniff it Butters. Doesn't it smell delicious? Just one lick. No chickens, it's the rules. Don't like the rules? Leave." Cartman taunted.

"Fuck dude!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Dude, that's sick." Stan frowned.

"Ah, Kahl. Would you rather do it for him? Stan?" When the two boys said nothing, Cartman continued. "Didn't think so. Now, Butters, stop being such a pusseh! made it 'specially for you, Butters." Cartman looked quite pleased. Butters paled, bile coming up in the back of his throat.

"Please. Can't I just do something else?" He begged.

"Fine, I'll help you." Cartman sighed, getting up. He waddled over to him and grabbed a fistful of Butters' blonde hair. Butters squeaked. Uh oh, this isn't gonna go well.

"Aw hamburgers." Butters choked. The catshit squished into Butters' face and hair. The stench choked him, filling his eyes with tears. His lips pressed together firmly, trying to block out a taste which he would rather not experience. He was pulled back and thrown onto the carpet.

"CARTMAN!" A feminine voice shrieked. Tears slowly escaped his eyes, washing bits of the cat-poop down his cheeks. Butters rolled to the side, turning his attention to the angry voice. Cartman was glaring at Sadie.

"What? It's just Butters!" Cartman hissed. The two stared each other down, circling each other with balled fists. Cartman threw a punch but she was too fast. The redhead grabbed his fist. "Wha-" She flipped Cartman onto his back, jiggling as he went down.

"EY!" He reached for Sadie's ankle. She kicked his hand, snapping a punch down to his fat face. Blood dribbled from the fat boy's nose. Cartman lifted his head to say something but his head fell back to the floor, unconscious. Holy hamburgers!

"Seven years of Karate, bitch!" Sadie spat on his still body. Everyone gasped.

"Fuck me." Craig muttered. Sadie dusted her knees off. Kyle and Stan had tears streaming down their faces as they rolled on the ground, struggling to breath. Soon the laughter spread to the girls and Craig's gang. Butters knew they were laughing at Eric but all the same, it hurt that they weren't helping him.

"Fuck, I broke a nail. Asshole…" She directed at Eric Cartman. Sadie approached the weeping Butters. She extended her hand, which he took. Butters was brought to his feet.

"Th-thank you." Butters mumbled. He was led to the bathroom upstairs.

"Sit there." Sadie instructed him. The porcelain was cold against his hands, which he sat on to prevent him from mindlessly wiping away his tears. A navy jacket covered half of Sadie's face. Probably because of me, he assumed.

"I must be pretty stinky, huh?" Butters laughed lightly. Sadie nodded slowly.

"Yeah, but not for long. I'll getcha all cleaned up." She added quickly. His bottom lip came up in a pouty expression. He remembered the shit smeared across his face and he quickly retreated his lower lip. The smell started to nauseate him.

"Ooh, I don't feel so good." Butters complained. Sadie searched through the towels. She selected a towel that was smaller than the others and it had Terrance and Phillip written on it in large letter.

"That's Eric's favourite towel. I wouldn't use that if I were you." He twiddled his thumbs. Eric'll be real sore with me if I use his towel.

"Exactly. Teach that fatass a lesson." Sadie winked as a devilish grin slapped across her face.

"Heh heh. Well okay then, I guess but he'll get real angry." Butters agreed, but he was cautious. If Eric comes after me, she can protect me though. Right? No, Butters, that's silly. You can't make a girl protect you. Protect yourself. He thought of Professor Chaos. I can protect myself. Butters pulled a small smile when Sadie began to wash the foul stench off of his face. She snickered suddenly.

"W-wut?" Butters asked. Is she laughing at me? He frowned, looking at the floor.

"I have an idea." She laughed, interrupting herself. "I'm g-" Giggles burst through her lips. Butters cocked his head to the side.

"Er...are you okay?" He asked. She calmed herself down.

"Okay, okay. I'm gonna hang the towel in Cartman's room...wait, wait. No. I should put it under his bed but right at the back. He'll smell it and look around for the smell and if he finally finds it, he won't be able to reach it cuz he's too fat!" Sadie resumed her laughing fit. Tears waterfalled down her cheeks. Butters had no idea how to react to her laughing except to laugh with her. Butters giggled, picturing the look on Eric's face.

Butters was now scrubbed clean, so shiny you could see your reflection in his skin. He smelled good too.

"Whew, boy am I glad to be all cleaned up." He sighed., grinning at Sadie. "Why, thank you."

"No problem, Butters." She grinned back at him. "You know, punching Cartman is the best thing I've done all day."

"We've all wanted to punch Eric at times." Butters snorted. Eric Cartman truly was a meanie sometimes but at least Butters got to hang out with Eric and his friends sometimes. I mean, Kenny, Kyle and Stan aren't that bad.

"Well, shall we go back to the party now?" Sadie offered. Butters nodded.

"Okie." He agreed. Sadie grinned and led him by the hand down the stairs. I hope she really got 'em good. Eric is a pain in the butt sometimes. "Hey, so are we gonna let Kenny and Rosa out of the closet? I feel kinda bad leavin' 'em in there." Butters ran his hands through his thin, blonde hair. Sadie stopped and pulled him aside on the steps.

"Well, I'm sure you've noticed how….antisocial Rosa is." Sadie continued after Butters nodded. "That's why I dragged her blonde ass to this party. I was hoping she would socialize. She didn't so I threw her in the closet with the first guy I thought of. Kenny seemed to be interested in girls, a lot without being as creepy as Clyde. So I chose him. Hopefully, he makes a move or something and they hook up. If not, I'll just keep trying to set her up with different guys." Sadie explained. Butters didn't know how he felt about this. He tried to hide his discomfort but Sadie clearly noticed.

"You're not gonna tell anybody, right?" She arched her brow.

"Um...um….er, no I suppose not. But shouldn't she do these things on her own? Kenny is a sex-crazed guy. Are you sure you want your friend with a fella like Kenny? Sure, he's nice but he doesn't have a lot of money, he's sex-obsessed and he likes getting high." Butters bit his lip. He did like Kenny but if Sadie was trying to get her shy friend to get a boyfriend, then Kenny wasn't really a good match. But what did Butters know? He didn't know Rosa. Maybe they could be fine together but after what Cartman said, it's not likely they'd get together.

"Hm, I guess you're right. She probably won't even talk to him. I knew it was a longshot but at least I tried. Who do you think would make a good boyfriend for her? I'm determined to find that girl some love. She's too quiet and reserved." Sadie asked him.

"I-I don't really know much about Rosa or relationships but I guess I could try?" Butters offered. Sadie thanked him.

"Not Cartman or Clyde, I've already knocked them off the list. Tweek is too hyper for her, Stan and Token are in relationships already. Craig's too boring from what I've noticed tonight. Rosa likes to talk once she's comfortable with someone so Timmy might not work. You've said Kenny is a dude obsessed with sex and drugs. I don't want that for Rose. That leaves you, Jimmy and what's that kid's name in the green hat? Cartman was calling him 'Kahl' right? Is that his name?" Sadie analyzed. Butters giggled. Kahl. Cartman's stupid pronunciation…

"Kahl….Heh heh….No, his name is Kyle. Cartman just pronounces some stuff funny sometimes. His name is Kyle Broflovski. He's Jewish and pretty friendl-" Butters stopped. It suddenly occurred to him that Sadie had said he was suitable for her best friend. "Wait. Did you say m-me?"

"Yeah, you seem nice enough. I'll have to get to know you, Kyle and Jimmy better. Who will win my best friend's heart?" Sadie exclaimed in a dramatic WWE type voice. Butters palms started to sweat. Rosa sure was pretty but what if he didn't pass Sadie's expectations?

"Aw hamburgers." He muttered under his breath. "Well, Jimmy is a nice fella too. He does stand-up comedy." Boy, Jimmy would be tough competition to beat. Kyle, even harder. He thought about sabotaging their chances of getting with Rosa but Butters couldn't bring himself to say anything bad about his friends.

"Rosa loves to laugh. She doesn't do well with negative people. She's very kind so she'd probably like a nice guy. I guess if the game is on, I shouldn't give you knowledge advantages, huh?" She grinned. Butters mimicked her grin. Maybe he could win, he was friendly. He wasn't much of a comedian but he could always find some jokes on Google. But what about Lexas? He hadn't seen Lexas for what seemed like a millennium. His parents said she wasn't really into him, that she just flirted with guys for tips. Even Lexas had told him that but he hadn't wanted to believe it. He still didn't. This was the only way to move on, he decided. Maybe if he dated Rosa, he'd get over Lexas. I'll do it. Butters told himself. He'd try to win over Rosa against Jimmy and Kyle. It would be hard, he knew, but he would certainly do his best. Sadie interrupted his thoughts.

"Alright, glad we got that settled. Let's go back now." The two continued down the stairs, taking their places beside the guests, who were gathered around Cartman. Some were taking pictures, some were trying to help him and some people were just standing around.