My body was heavy from the need to sleep but I had to stay and clean the kitchen, I was used to this since I have done it before. Tris had already left to go to sleep. It pains me to hear the singing around me, it bothers me that it's so cheerful. Maybe because my life has become so painful. All the happiness they feel hurts me, it taunts me 'look what you don't have Ava.'
I liked to believe Tris that wherever Eric was he was thinking of me, missing me as much as I was missing him. I scrub the plates with vigor, maybe it would stop me from hitting someone in my old faction around the head screaming at them to shut up, not everything called for singing. I dried my hands before running out of the kitchen and into the hall, seconds later I literally ran into Tris "You okay?" she asked as we helped each other up.
"No, I can't stand the singing anymore," I looked around, she gave me a nod of agreement, she didn't test positive for Amity but I did. Normally I would love this life but right now I couldn't stand it. "So I heard your mother and Marcus talking. Jeanine attacked Abnegation to seize power, but also she attacked them to steal information—information only they knew. And Marcus really won't share anything,"
"Wow, I can see why she attacked Abnegation now. She's a true Erudite, a little too thirsty for knowledge." I reasoned as we walked to Tobias' room, we could hear two male voices one was Tobias the other was muffled but Tris told me it was Caleb's.
"No, not like that," Tobias says through laughter.
"What do you mean, 'not like that'? I imitated you perfectly." Caleb sounds happier but I still didn't trust him.
"You did not."
"Well, do it again, then." I raise my brow and she pushes the door open. Tobias, who is sitting on the floor with one leg stretched out, hurls a butter knife at the opposite wall. It sticks, handle out, from a large hunk of cheese they positioned on top of the dresser. Caleb, standing beside him, stares in disbelief, first at the cheese and then at us as we walked in.
"Tell me he's some kind of Dauntless prodigy," says Caleb. "Can you both this too?"
"With my right hand, maybe," Tris says. "But yes, Four and Ava are some kind of Dauntless prodigy's." She puts emphasizes on the word and, Caleb looks between us.
Tobias's eyes catch Tris' over the word, I like the simple fact I catch the small things with him, "Four." Caleb doesn't know that Tobias wears his excellence all the time in his own nickname.
"Caleb came by to discuss something," Tobias says, leaning his head against the wall as he looks at me. "And knife-throwing just came up somehow."
"As it so often does," Tris say, a small smile inching its way across her face, I sat on my brother's bed with Tris.
"Anyway, I should be getting back to my room," Caleb says, looking from Tobias to Tris and back again. "I'm reading this book about the water-filtration systems. The kid who gave it to me looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to read it. I think it's supposed to be a repair manual, but it's fascinating." He pauses. "Sorry. You probably think I'm crazy too."
"I certainly do," Tris hit me as I smiled "I was only messing with Caleb," I say.
"Not at all," Tobias says with mock sincerity. "Maybe you should read that repair manual too, Tris. It sounds like something you might like."
"I can loan it to you," Caleb says but he looks at me every so often.
"Maybe later," Tris smiles. When Caleb closes the door behind him, Tris gives Tobias a dirty look.
"Thanks for that," Tris gives Tobias a withering look as she talks "Now he's going to talk my ear off about water filtration and how it works. Though I guess I might prefer that to what he wants to talk to me about."
"What did he come to talk to you about?"
"You," he says. "I think it was the big-brother talk. 'Don't mess around with my sister' and all that."
He gets up, oh please don't tell me they forgot I was laying here.
"What did you tell him?"
He walks towards Tris, yeah they forgot.
"I told him how we got together—that's how knife-throwing came up," he says, "and I told him I wasn't messing around."
I blush and fight the urge to cover my eyes as he wraps his oddly long arms around her hips pressed her gently against the door. His lips are on hers, I think I'm going to puke.
I should interrupt or I really will puke. She wraps her good arm around him, this was a little bothersome, fingers her damn fingers find the hem of his T-shirt, and slide beneath it... Now they are kissing with passion again, more insistent this time, his hands squeezing her waist.
"HELLO, I AM RIGHT HERE!" I squealed, I could feel how red my face was. They moved apart "I am so sorry Ava, you just got so silent," Tobias says.
"Yeah, because in a fraction of a second you forgot your little sister," I said back.
"So Tris, get on with it. You know since making out with Tobias wasn't what we came for," I smirked at her red face.
"This isn't what you came here for?" he asks. Why would he ask that? If she had me in tow then that would definitely not be her objective unless he thought she was setting me up with Caleb. I nearly gagged.
"No."
"What did you come for, then?"
I watch his expression. He does not look shocked or curious. Instead, his mouth works its way into the bitter pucker that accompanies any mention of Marcus.
"Well, what do you think?" I say once Tris finishes.
"I think," He says carefully, "that it's Marcus trying to feel more important than he is."
That was not the response I was expecting and from the look n Tris' face it wasn't the response she was expecting either.
"So … what? You think he's just talking nonsense?"
"I don't think so, well not the information part. Your mother, the place she found you, it had the information, you just happen to be there, so her mission changed it was that simple." I say.
"I think there probably is some information the Abnegation knew that Jeanine wanted to know, but I think he's exaggerating its importance. Trying to build up his own ego by making Johanna think he's got something she wants and he won't give it to her."
"I don't …" Tris frowns. "I don't think you're right. He didn't sound like he was lying."
"You don't know him like I do. He is an excellent liar."
"I have no doubt, but don't put our judgement down. I don't need you to go on my own little missions, I am not Tris. She may not stand up to you, but she feels strongly about this information and you treat it as if it means nothing," I stand as does Tobias.
"Ava, I didn't mean it like that," his hand moved onto my shoulder "You meant it the way you said it, brother, just understand it doesn't change my mind once I get my chance I will do as I see fit. And you will regret not trusting Tris and me."
"Are you coming Tris," I look at her "Yes, yes I am Ava," we walked out of his room.
I sit with Tris, her brother rambling "Biotechnology has been around for a long time, but it wasn't always very effective," Caleb says. He starts on the crust of his toast—he ate the middle first, weird, yes eat the bread, eat it all you evil little Erudite.
"So Erudite and Amity work together, then?" I hear Tris talking to her brother, I use a knife to cut into an apple.
"More closely than Erudite and any other faction," he says. "Don't you remember from our Faction History book? It called them the 'essential factions'—without them, we would be incapable of survival. Some of the Erudite texts called them the 'enriching factions.' And one of Erudite's missions as a faction was to become both—essential and enriching."
"Very interesting," I smiled, he smiled back at me, but really I was only being nice for Tris. "You aren't going to eat your toast?" he says.
"The bread tastes strange," Tris says. "You can have it if you want." Shit I didn't tell her, I would have to, I grin.
"I'm amazed by how they live here," he says as he takes the toast from her plate. "They're completely self-sustaining.
They have their own source of power, their own water pumps, their own water filtration, their own food sources…. They're independent."
"Independent," Tris says, "and uninvolved. Must be nice."
"So I take it Amity wasn't one of the factions you had an aptitude for," he says, grinning, oh shit. I can't say anything, she must trust him even if I don't but he is gathering information.
"No." The group of Amity a few seats away from us bursts into laughter. They haven't even glanced in our direction since we sat down to eat. "Keep it down, all right? It's not something I want to broadcast." She snapped, I stab my apple with too much force, the knife is embedded in the table.
"Sorry," he says, leaning over the table so that he can talk quieter. "So what were they?"
I feel myself tensing, straightening. "Why do you want to know?"
"Tris," he says, "I'm your brother. You can tell me anything."
"Abnegation, Dauntless," Tris say, "and Erudite."
"Three factions?" His eyebrows lift.
"Yes. Why?"
"It just seems like a lot," he says "So Ava, how about you?" I snorted "I have to go, be right back," I jumped up heading towards our room, I checked all the time, with the gun and data stored there it was dangerous not to. So when I returned to the table the way Caleb was looking at me unnerved me, I looked to Tris who looked away her eyes turning down to her plate.
"I swear Tris if you told him," I leaned in close to her ear "We can trust him,"
"When the day comes you owe me, I warned you," she doesn't argue just looks at me searching my face, my eyes before giving me a nod. We are about to flee when Susan sits next to Caleb, it's better than sitting and being absorbed in Abnegation conversation when Tobias comes in, looking harassed. He must have been working in the kitchen this morning, as part of our agreement with the Amity. I have to work in the laundry rooms tomorrow, I disliked doing laundry.
"What happened?" Tris says in a placid voice "In their enthusiasm for conflict resolution, the Amity have apparently forgotten that meddling creates more conflict," says Tobias. "If we stay here much longer, I am going to punch someone, and it's not going to be pretty."
Caleb and Susan both raise their eyebrows at him. A few of the Amity at the table next to ours stop talking to stare. For some this is the first threat they have ever heard.
"You heard me," Tobias says to them. They all look away "Well, I can't say that I'm shocked by this information. I'm just shocked you haven't already snapped," I say.
"As Tris said what happened?" I say, Tris covered her mouth to hide her smile while I more proudly wore mine.
"I'll tell you two later."
It must have to do with Marcus. Tobias doesn't like the dubious looks the Abnegation give him when he refers to Marcus's cruelty, and Susan is sitting right across from him, they avoid me like I am something vile.
Tobias goes completely still when a hand falls on my right shoulder, sending prickles of pain down my right arm "Get your hand off my sister, or I will remove it from your body," he seethed from between clutched teeth.
"What do you want?" Tris said giving him a loathing look "Beatrice," Susan says quietly. "There's no need to—"
"Susan, please," says Caleb quietly. She presses her lips into a line and looks away.
Tris frowns at Marcus. "I asked you a question."
"I would like to discuss something with you, Ava, and you, Beatrice," says Marcus. His expression is calm but he's angry—the terseness in his voice betrays him. "The other Abnegation and myself have discussed it and decided that we should not stay here. We believe that, given the inevitability of further conflict in our city, it would be selfish of us to stay here while what remains of our faction is inside that fence. We would like to request that you escort us."
"What do you think?" I say, I look to my brother, his blue eyes bore into mine.
"I think we should leave the day after tomorrow," Tobias says.
"Okay. Thank you," says Marcus. Well if we want the truth we might just have to demand it, or force it, either way.
"Tris lets go for a walk," this is our code for train but today we are going to follow Marcus. Tobias gives us a nod as we walk off together, now we move, following. We expect him to walk to the guests' dormitory, but he crosses the field behind the dining hall and walks into the water-filtration building. We move with no hesitation on the bottom step. Do I really want to do this? Yes, the answer is yes.
So we move walking up the steps and through the door that Marcus just closed behind him.
The filtration building is small, just one room with a few huge machines in it. As far as I can tell, some of the machines take in dirty water from the rest of the compound, a few of them purify it, others test it, and the last set pumps clean water back out to the compound. The piping systems are all buried except one, which runs along the ground to send water to the power plant, near the fence. The plant provides power to the entire city, using a combination of wind, water, and solar energy.
Marcus stands near the machines that filter the water. There the pipes are transparent. I can see brown-tinged water rushing through one pipe, disappearing into the machine, and emerging clean.
Tris is indecisive, I lean on the frame "So we heard you talking to my mother," I say. Marcus whips his head around. "What are you doing, Ava?" he looks seeing Tris as well "And Beatrice,"
"Well it is now obvious we followed you, again we heard you talking to mother about what motivated Jeanine's attack on Abnegation." I said Tris came up to my side.
"Did the Dauntless teach you that it's all right to invade another person's privacy, or did you teach yourself?"
"I'm a naturally curious person. Don't change the subject." Tris says.
Marcus's forehead is creased, especially between the eyebrows, and there are deep lines next to his mouth. He looks like a man who has spent most of his life frowning.
"If you heard me talking to Johanna, then you know that I didn't even tell her about this. So what makes you think that I would share the information with you two?"
"My father," Tris says. "My father is dead."
"He may not have actually died for whatever information you were referring to," I just listen to Tris talk. "But I want to know if it was something he risked his life for."
Marcus's mouth twitches.
"Yes," he says. "It was."
"Well." Tris doesn't understand Marcus this won't get us anywhere, she is almost choking, "Then, what on earth was it? Was it something you were trying to protect? Or steal? Or what?"
"It was …" Marcus shakes his head. "I'm not going to tell you that."
I step toward him she holds me back. "But you want it back. And Jeanine has it."
Marcus is a good liar—or at least, someone who is skilled at hiding secrets. He does not react. He could be close to telling me the truth. If I press just hard enough, maybe he'll crack, or I could make him crack.
"I could help you," Tris says.
Marcus's upper lip curls. "You have no idea how ridiculous that sounds." He spits the words at her. "You may have succeeded in shutting down the attack simulation, girl, but it was by luck alone, not skill. I would die of shock if you managed to do anything useful again for a long time."
This is the Marcus that Tobias knows. The one who knows right where to hit to cause the most damage.
My body shudders with anger. "Tobias is right about you," Tris says.
"I have sat here and just been silent for too long. I can imagine why my mother did what she did, I mean I have now met you, and I can't stand you or even the sight of you. You're a miserable man, a pathetic fool. I will tell you a couple things Marcus, Tobias hates you, and you aren't fooling me with this Abnegation shit you pull. You will come to Tris and I soon enough for help, but maybe we won't help. Because I can give that uptight Jeanine Matthews competition, she won't like someone who would be a better Erudite. It wasn't luck, it was skill just because you lack them doesn't mean we all do. Tris lets go now,"
Marcus looked at us as we walked away, we give him no time to talk, no time to challenge us. "He will come, trust me," was all I said.
"I do,"
"I hope Tris you don't betray my trust again. No matter what my test results weren't yours to tell," tears could be seen "I am sorry, you're right," now we practice for a while before I have we have to go.
Later that night I hear she saved Peter from a falling scrap of metal, I say let it crush his brains in. I see Peter sitting looking up at the stars "Why, are you such a bastard?" I question him.
"I think I was just born this way, maybe I can't change," then he was gone. When I went to bed that girl was in bed but when I woke early she was gone, but it was too early to be missing from bed. So I moved from my bed on feather light feet a few are up, smiling at me as I walk "Morning Ava, love and Happiness," Nate smiled walking down the hall.
I reached my brothers room, it was the first place I could think of, I push the door open she is sitting up and he is shaving "Come on lover girl, you are in the wrong room," she smiles.
We head back to our room "I had a bad dream,"
"You could have woken me up, but if it makes you feel safer with my brother go with it," I say. I felt that way with Eric, I closed my eyes at I thought about him, he was my first thought and my last every night. I willed the tears away.
When we reach our shared bedroom, Peter is standing next to Tris' bed.
Instinct makes me straighten up and search the room for a blunt object, but I know where my dagger is.
"Get out," I say as steadily as I can but rage is heard, I will tear him to pieces, I don't need anything but my hands.
Lately when he looks at me it's without his usual malice—instead he just seems exhausted, his posture slouched, his wounded arm in a sling. But I am not fooled.
"What are you doing our room?" I snap.
He walks closer to Tris. "What are you doing stalking Marcus? I saw you after breakfast yesterday."
She matches his stare with her own. "That's none of your business. Get out."
"I'm here because I don't know why you get to keep track of that hard drive," he says. "It's not like you're particularly stable these days Tris,"
"I'm unstable?" Tris laughed. "I find that a little funny, coming from you." I smiled moving to my right.
Peter pinches his lips together and says nothing.
I narrow my eyes. "Why are you so interested in the hard drive anyway?"
"I'm not stupid," he says. "I know it contains more than the simulation data."
"No, you aren't stupid, are you?" I say. "You think if you deliver it to the Erudite, they'll forgive your indiscretion and let you back in their good graces."
"I don't want to be back in their good graces," he says, stepping forward again. "If I had, I wouldn't have helped you two in the Dauntless compound."
I look out the door seeing a few Amity "Go about your day, please. We are friends talking," they smiled leaving but it wouldn't last.
"Give it to me now!" I hear my neck snapping back to them "No."
"Give it to me, or so help me, I will kill you in your sleep." Tris snarled.
He smirks at her. "If only you could see how ridiculous you look when you threaten people. Like a little girl telling me she's going to strangle me with her jump rope."
I start toward him, and he shifts back, into the hallway.
"Don't call me 'little girl.'" She yells again and again.
"I'll call you whatever I want."
Tris jerked into action, aiming her left fist where she knows it will hurt the worst: at the bullet wound in his arm. He dodges the punch, but instead of trying again, she did well and seized his arm as hard as she can and wrenched it to the side. Peter screams at the top of his lungs, and while he's distracted by the pain, she kicked him hard in the knee, and he falls to the ground.
People rush into the hallway, wearing gray and black and yellow and red. Peter surges toward her in a half crouch, and punches her in the stomach.
Nate pulls Tris away from Peter "Ava, he has the hard drive! He stole it from me! He has it!"
I walk over to Peter, ignoring the woman crouched beside him, and I press my foot into Peter's rib cage to keep him in place. I then reach into Peter's pocket and take out the hard drive.
"We won't be in a safe house forever, and this wasn't very smart of you."
"What do you think you're doing? Let go of me!" Tris screamed out.
"You violated the terms of our peace agreement," he says gently. "We must follow protocol."
"Just go," says Tobias. "You need to cool down." I was angry now.
"They are going to inject the Peace serum into her," I snapped kicking Peter as I walked by "Ava, maybe you need it too," a women said.
"Try, I will make sure I break your hand," I snarled walking away.
I found my mother "Ava, my child," her honeyed voice rang.
"Mother, before you say it. He was in our room stealing something very, very important. On this disk, is the information on the attack of Abnegation, caused by Erudite, all the proof everything. He was stealing it to trade to get back with them he is a coward, he tried to kill Tris, I hate him mother, and I have never been able to hate anyone. That boy Peter stuck a knife in a sleeping boy's eye," I sat with a huff.
"I see, well this does change things."
"It was horrible mother, the serum didn't work on Tris and I, and we are Divergent. But our faction was mindless, sleepwalking killers, we had to do everything they did just to make it to where we could run. Tris lost her mother and father that day,"
"The pain the child must feel, letting her anger out on the boy. But Ava was it right to kick him as you passed?"
"No, but it made me feel better," the door burst open Tris is in Four's arms, she is laughing but we just stare at her.
"What did you do to her?" Tobias says, terse. "What in God's name did you do?"
"I …" Johanna frowns at me. "They must have given her too much. She's very small; they probably didn't take her height and weight into account."
"They must have given her too much of what?" he says looking at us.
"You have a nice voice," Tris says in a light tone, I laugh but they both give me a look "Come on, she sounds funny,"
"Ava, you sound so beautiful like music. No wonder Eric loves you so much," my face fell, thinking of him, even when he pulled at his rings.
"Tris," he says, "please be quiet."
"The peace serum," Johanna says. "In small doses, it has a mild, calming effect and improves the mood. The only side effect is some slight dizziness. We administer it to members of our community who have trouble keeping the peace."
Tobias snorts. "I'm not an idiot. Every member of your community has trouble keeping the peace, because they're all human. You probably dump it into the water supply."
Mother Johanna does not respond for a few seconds. She folds her hands in front of her.
"Clearly you know that is not the case, or this conflict would not have occurred," she says. "But whatever we agree to do here, we do together, as a faction. If I could give the serum to everyone in this city, I would. You would certainly not be in the situation you are in now if I had."
"Oh, definitely," he says. "Drugging the entire population is the best solution to our problem. Great plan."
"Sarcasm is not kind, Four," Tris says gently. "Now, I am sorry about the mistake in giving too much to Tris, I really am. But she violated the terms of our agreement, and I'm afraid that you might not be able to stay here much longer as a result. The conflict between her and the boy—Peter—is not something we can forget."
"Don't worry," says Tobias. "We intend to leave as soon as humanly possible."
"Good," she says with a small smile. "Peace between Amity and Dauntless can only happen when we maintain our distance from each other."
"That explains a lot." I say this time.
"Excuse me?" she says. "What are you insinuating, Ava?"
"It explains," he says, gritting his teeth, "why, under a pretense of neutrality —as if such a thing is possible!—you have left us to die at the hands of the Erudite." Mother Johanna sighs quietly and looks out the window. Beyond it is a small courtyard with vines growing in it. The vines creep onto the window's corners, like they are trying to come in and join the conversation.
"The Amity wouldn't do something like that," Tris says. "That's mean."
"It is for the sake of peace that we remain uninvolved—" Johanna begins.
"Peace." Tobias almost spits the word. "Yes, I'm sure it will be very peaceful when we are all either dead or cowering in submission under the threat of mind control or stuck in an endless simulation." Johanna's face contorts, I love my mother, and I know she doesn't value all that Amity does.
I'm not sure why she did it to begin with.
She says slowly, "The decision was not mine to make. If it was, perhaps we would be having a different conversation right now."
"Are you saying you disagree with them?" I ask her.
"I am saying," She says, "that it isn't my place to disagree with my faction publicly, but I might, in the privacy of my own heart."
"Tris, Ava, and I will be gone in two days," says Tobias. "I hope your faction doesn't change their decision to make this compound a safe house."
"Our decisions are not easily unmade. What about Peter?"
"You'll have to deal with him separately," he says. "Because he won't be coming with us."
"Four," she says. "If you and your friends would like to remain … untouched by our serum, you may want to avoid the bread."
"Oops, I must have forgot to tell you," I smile "You gave me more bread, you gave me Tris's bread," Tobias' eyes bore into mine.
"I should go," I ran out hearing him yelling for me and Tris' giggling.