The thing about chaos, is that while it disturbs us,
it too, forces our hearts to roar in a way we secretly find magnificent.

-Christopher Poindexter

He was mad. At the very least, extremely frustrated. I could feel his subtle anger simmering under his collected exterior as we walked down the long hallway to our suite after bidding good evening to the happy couple. If there was one thing that didn't sit well with Edward Elric, it was being ill-informed. And Mustang was iron-clad about keeping Edward out of this loop. I'd come to learn that Edward hated being made to feel like he wasn't in control of himself and his surroundings, and living with me was a lesson to him in learning to let go control of other people. It pissed him off when I wouldn't open up to him about my importance to the military, he hated it when I ran from him and disobeyed his orders to go back inside after he attacked me -as if anyone would blame me- and he was beyond livid when I showed up at his apartment despite having told Mustang to keep me away. I simply would no longer stand for anyone in my life trying to order me around. Not my Grandmother, or the military, and I certainly wasn't going to relinquish control to the one person who made me realize that I had the power all along.

But things were different now. He was different and so was I. There was one facet of my life where I was more than happy to give over complete control to him, and when he ripped my dress off me like he threatened to earlier and threw me on the bed, I knew there would be no fighting him even if I'd wanted to. He wasn't hungrily sating his starvation like our first time together, and he wasn't using his body to slowly beg forgiveness like when we were at his apartment. He wasn't being playful and drunk and laughing with me in the fumbled throws of passion like we did in Europe, either. He was stoic. Serious. Mouth set in a hard, grim line and eyes as peircing and assertive as the day I met him. He was beautiful and deadly as he disgarded our clothes in the swift movements of mere seconds and wasted no time claiming his prey, plunging in deep as I gasped loudly from being stretched to the hilt. His pace was unexpected and merciless, something I was unprepared for concidering he'd wasted no time on toying with his prey and instead opted to go straight for the kill.

I had no choice but to cling and endure, and my body was more than willing to play along. I couldn't control my panting, the volume of the sounds he elicited from me, the way I had to spit curses through gritted teeth because gutteral moans simply weren't enough to absorb the shock from him pounding deeper... harder... almost throbbing... my fucking god... he was going to kill me. I would be forever known as the woman whose orgasm was so powerful it knocked her six feet under. Fear spiked in me when his skillful hands roamed by body far more aggresively than they ever had, clawing and groping me insatiably. He was furious and lashing out, desperately clinging for control and excersizing his power the best way he knew how, because clearly he was supposed to know who this 'Alphonse' person was but he had no idea. He could offer no clues to Roy and received no other information in return. To know that Mustang knew something about his past that Edward didn't was likely killing him.

I'd lost all sense of time, absorbed in the delicious agony of his punishing pace steadily building the pressure within me. I was suddenly flipped onto my stomach and then pulled up on my knees, with my back flush against his muscled chest we were both kneeling upright on the mattress. I gasped and panted, over and over, trying to catch my breath as he pulled my arms back, forcing my back to arch slightly as his hands gripped my hips and pulled me back against him roughly so I could feel his impressive length pressing heavily against my inner thigh. My throat instantly went dry, I wanted him back inside of me immediatly, and was being beyond tortured with the wait. He must have read my filthy mind begging him to fuck me again, because he quickly gripped a metal arm tightly across my chest and shoved his other hand into my hair, pulling my head back to lay over his shoulder and bare my neck to him. As scorching hot breaths of air warmed over my neck, he slammed back into me with a primal growl and his voice graveled hotly over my ear as he hammered away.

"You're mine. Say it."

I could barely speak. I could only manage to push out gasps and garbled 'oh gods' and 'fuck me's' carried on the weak voice of someone who was suffocating on the delight of being fucked to death. I could barely get out choked mewls of ecstacy from the feeling of his gorgeous, horrible, wonderful onslaught; relentless scorching velvet, heart-stopping, conquering, amazing. He stopped for a split second to tighten his hold on me, pull out to the tip agonizingly slowly, then punish me by shoving back in without warning.

"Say it. You're mine, Winry." He resumed his hard, fluid pounding. The coils in my belly were wound so fucking tight they trembled from the strain, but he wouldn't let me plunge over the edge. He kept me teetering, the bastard. He was nearing the edge too. His breathing matched mine for raggedness, his skin sheened with sweat -hot and slick- making it harder for him to maintain his grip on me. His rough hands dug in deeper, hurting me but I didn't care. The pain radiated and quickly shifted to wanton pleasure, only hardening the straining muscles near my pelvis making the sweet torture as delicious as it was unbearable. His resolve was slipping but I wouldn't take control from him. Not while doing this. He knew my neck was my weak point, and one long, languid drag of his hot tongue up the hollow of my throat was my complete undoing, and as he pulled me hard to his chest and pounded into me, I saw white and shattered around him, crying out. He didn't stop.

"I'm yours," I rushed out breathlessly. "...I'm yours Edward." This was apparently his undoing because he thrust three more times deeply then spat a vicious curse as he pulled out and finished on the sheets before we toppled over together, exhausted and gasping for air.

I blinked my eyes open in the darkness, and didn't know how much time had passed between then and when we'd finished. My heart was still racing and he was still catching his breath, resting his full body weight on my lower half and pressing my front into the mattress. My head was reeling, it was by far the most intense orgasm I'd ever experienced in my life, and I made a mental note to have angry sex with Ed more often. God only knows what he'd do if it were I who he was mad at while fucking. He'd probably break my pelvis. I began to stir slightly, and he pushed some of his weight off me so I could turn on my back as he crawled up my body. We said nothing as our gazes met, knowing that this was the first time we'd had sex without kissing, or clasping hands, or looking at eachother. And we weren't even mad at eachother. His golden eyes were soft and glowy again, not sharp and unnerving like before, and he broke the silence as he smoothed away the sweat-soaked hair that clung near my eyes.

"I don't know what to say," He started quietly. "I'm... I'm sorry." He rested his forehead over my beating heart, and I could feel his uneven breath on my skin. I gently pulled him back to face me again.

"Don't be, it was incredible. If I wanted you to stop I would have said something."

"Could you have?" He challenged with concern in his eyes. Nope. I couldn't.

"I didn't want to." I said. "If I'd wanted you to ease up I would have said or done something. Don't be so hard on yourself. I loved every minute of it." I said with a smirk. It was true, I did love it. I made an adendem to my mental note of future angry sex with Ed to include a possible safe word as his ever-changing gaze shifted slightly serious again and he traced the edge of my bottom lip with his thumb.

"I love you." He said. Clear, unhurried and with purpose. His eyes blazed into my own. "No matter what happens for the rest of my life, even if I never get any answers, I'll be happy because you know that I love you."

He kissed me deeply and pulled me to arch up against him, and this time I knew it would be different. This time all anger, confusion, resentment would be gone. I knew we would both sleep peacefully that night because this time, it was all love.

One Month Later

We sat together on the couch in Ed's apartment in a state of tense anxiety. Well, anxiety on my part. Edward seemed calm on the surface as he focused all attention on the 6 o'clock news. He was particularly quiet. He was always quiet when he had a lot on his mind, but had barely uttered a word all day because on that day we were facing an unhurdled obsticle neither one of us saw coming. We were waiting on the arrival of Edward's brother.

In the month since the wedding, Roy had been working closely with Investigations and Internal Affairs to uncover whatever they could about the young man claiming to be the brother of Edward Elric. Since bringing Edward to New York as a child, Roy and Maes worked constantly to try and find any clues about his life before he was taken. But with any files containing his information physical or digital missing, there was no way for them to know where to start. And because of what had been done to him and what his mental state was, they doubted sending him home would be safe if they ever found one. He was a danger to himself and to others. It didn't stop Mustang from searching, using what little information they had to go on to try and find anyone -family or friend- that knew Ed. It wasn't until learning of King Bradley's orchistration that we knew why all searches came up empty.

"He poisoned the mainframe." Roy said to us a month earlier, two weeks after he and Riza came home from their honeymoon in Fiji. "Someone working for him created an encryption software that would block us from doing any searches that could result in Bradley incriminating himself, and that includes getting information about you, Fullmetal. The digital files we pulled from the Helsinki lab were all part of a heavily fire-walled network, and took months for the military to crack into. A civilian PC could never do it. It wasn't until we brought in Internal Affairs to start rooting around in Bradley's office, that we came across this."

He produced a cream paper folder nearly an inch thick with papers and handed it over his desk to Edward. We sat in chairs next to eachother and when Ed opened the folder I bit back a gasp. There was a stack of papers of all different colors, shapes and sizes, each of them offering a different glimpse into the life of Edward Elric. Bradley had been keeping tabs on Edward constantly, watching his experiment grow from terrified and lost little boy into a deadly predator of a man, saving each piece of paperwork submitted from his various completed missions over the years, counting his kills along with his saves, even holding copies of his medical charts from every physical and automail maintenance or upgrade. And there were photos. Trailing backward in sequential order from nearly present day. The first couple were shotty polaroids of him at the gun range firing various hand guns and semi-automatics along with assault rifles and they were clipped to the folded up paper targets he'd been firing at. Rifling further through the stack showed pictures of a younger Edward, the number 21 written on the back of another photo -this one a 4x6 of him in head-to-toe desert fatigues with dirt smudges across his smirking face and carrying an AK-47 in one hand with the other arm hooked around the neck of a cigarette-smoking Jean Havoc in matching fatigues. They were the picture of friendly comraderie.

"This was Afghanistan." He murmured. "My second tour, and Jean's third. I remember having this taken. The guy who took it never made it home."

My stomach turned.

We flipped through more of Edward's handwritten paperwork, medical charts from earlier years and photos of him sparring with soldiers at the gym at 20, graduating from the military academy with top honors at 18, laying in the hospital after having his automail upgraded at 16. It was unbelievable. Bradley had stolen items to document every milestone in the growth and development of Edward, fully intending to never help him find out who he is. Ready to watch him suffer as no one else had ever suffered. But the numerous photos also offered us a reminder that while Edward's childhood was a blank slate, he had lived an extraordinary life for a man of not even 30. As we neared the back of the folder, the face in the photos became younger, the writing on the paperwork became comicly sloppier, and we came to rest on a white envelope. Pulling out the contents, we were staring at a Social Security Card and a Birth Certificate.

"Wasn't he supposed to be here around 6:30? It's an hour past."

"He probably got lost." I said, looking up from my book. "He said he's never been to New York."

"Still, take a cab for fuck's sake." Ed sighed irritably.

"Are you going to be this cantankerous when he gets here?" I asked.

"No, and we don't even know who he is. Just because the DNA test says we're related doesn't mean I can trust him. What if he's a crazy person? I can't believe Roy is just letting him waltz up here like it's no big deal."

I rolled my eyes.

"Who's waltzing? He's being escorted up 7 flights of stairs and coming in through the stairwell door. He'll have no idea which elevator to take or what code he needs to get in. Besides, you're here." I smiled. His face softened for a moment before his cocky smirk snapped back into place and he moved to sip his scotch.

"Damn straight, I'm here."

"I've never had a social security number before." He marveled, looking at the small blue paper and running his fingers over the numbers. "Or an actual birthdate."

July 17th, 1985

"The doctors were close." He said looking up at Mustang with excitement in his eyes. "We never really knew when I was born, but the docs thought I might've been born around this time. How did Bradley get these?"

"I'm guessing they're government copies. Anyone can put in requests for new copies of these kind of documents. With power like his, I'm sure getting these was all too easy." Roy said.

I watched Ed's face fill with wonder as he scanned the contents of his birth certificate, the corners of his sculpted mouth slightly upturned in amusement.

"I have a weird name." He said looking up at Roy and me. "Edward Von Hoenheim Elric. I was born to Von Hoenheim and Tricia Elric. I wonder why I wasn't given my father's last name."

"Perhaps they weren't married?" I offered.

"There's a lot that we still don't know." Mustang interjected. "The IT department is still working on breaking the encrypted software that's been plaguing our system for years, so we haven't been able to find anything on your parents. However, we did find someone who may know you. The fax I got from from Internal Affairs at the wedding said they'd come across a young man named Alphonse Curtis who might be able to shed some light. He was booked in the L.A. County jail on counts of public drunkeness and B&E. Apparently he got hammered, broke into a Petsmart, and when the cops showed up he was sitting on the floor petting all the adoptable kittens and sobbing on and on about how he needed to find his missing brother."

"I can't decide if that's pathetic or depressing." Ed grimaced.

"A little bit of both. They ignored him at first, but he caught attention by dropping your name."

Edward set the closed folder with all its contents back on Mustang's desk and blew out a sigh.

"So, what now?" He asked.

"I've already spoken to this Alphonse character. I wanted to size him up first before mentioning it to you, I didn't think it would be worth putting you through all this if I didn't believe he could give us some answers."

"What did he say?" I asked. Mustang shrugged.

"He begged me to tell him if his brother was alive, and were he could find him. I wasn't willing to share any information on our end, it's too risky. For all we know, this could be an enemy trying to pull a fast one. But he sounded fairly normal, just sad and desperate. He's a doctor in Los Angeles. I told him he wouldn't be permitted to speak to you until DNA testing is complete. That is, unless you want to call him?"

Edward blanched and glanced at me, seemingly lost for what to do. He shook his head.

"No, I don't want to know anything about him. This is all happening really fast." I chose that moment to place my hand over his on the arm rest.

"We don't know anything for sure yet." I reminded him, and I turned to address Roy. "When are you planning to do the test?"

"Well, we've asked officials on the west coast to obtain a blood sample and ship it here. I'm not comfortable having them compare their test results to ours digitally, I'd rather have our people run his blood against yours here to see if theres a match. We'll need to take some blood from you Ed, if that's what you want to do."

Edward nodded, brow furrowed in thought. We moved to get up and head to the lab when Mustang stopped us.

"There's one more thing," He said, his voice suddenly dropping. He handed another white envelope to Edward. "I've been holding on to this for a long time. It's time I gave it to you."

Inside was another 4x6, this one slightly mangled from years of handling, on the back of which was written '03 Oct. 2001'. Edward turned it over and I gasped, turning away. It was a child, sitting upright in a hospital bed slumped over and staring blankly into nothingness. Dried patches and smears of brownish red smattered his skin and hospital gown, the blood caked in his hairline and over his ears, coating his hands and fingers. The photographer stood behind a glass window looking in, and the child seemed unaware that he was being watched. Like he didn't know what was happening, or where he was. His stringy, blood-streaked hair was blonde. His dull and unseeing eyes were gold. His limbs were metal. My throat tightened horribly and I looked at Edward.

His hardened gaze poured over the photograph and he said nothing.

"This was the day you arrived here from Finland. You had just woken up, we had to sedate when we tried to move you from the building. You lashed out at everyone except Riza, none of us could get close to you."

"I remember." He finally said. "I knew you were there. Why did you take this?"

Mustang paused to collect himself before answering.

"I knew it would be a tough road ahead. I was determined to see you live as close to a normal life as possible, and I refused to accept that I couldn't save even one child from that horrible place. I had one shot to get it right. I knew there would be more bad days than good, and I knew there would be times when you'd be ready to throw it all away. I needed this to serve as a reminder of how far you'd come; I wanted the tangible proof that you'd gotten better. Just incase anyone ever tried to argue otherwise, and for the moments when I needed inspiration for my next pep talk. Every time I've ever talked you off the ledge, it was with this photo in my back pocket."

That was the second time I'd heard someone mention Edward wanting to end his life. It sliced fear in me, and it seemed like he knew what I was thinking because he took my hand in his and ran a cool, steel thumb over my knuckles.

"I'm seeing clearly for the first time. I'm more self-aware than ever, and I've never actually felt excited about the future before. I won't be needing anymore interventions." He said to Roy, then turned to me to capture my gaze. "I'm not going anywhere."

As we left and crossed the compound to the hospital, Edward grew silent again. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his head was down. As we entered the bustling hospital and made our way to the lab for him to give blood, he halted suddenly and glanced around quickly. His hand hooked around my elbow and I was pulled into a supply closet. The door closed and I was in his arms with his face buried in the crook of my neck.

"What if it's a lie?" He croaked. "What if he's just someone from a past mission or someone who knew me from my tour in the middle east? Or what if he's the enemy?" He let out a shuddered sigh and pulled back to rest his forehead against mine.

"People know about me. When I was a kid in the academy the other students knew about me. Any one of them could have grown up, retired from service and come back claiming to be my family."

He was on the verge of a breakdown. "For years I searched, but always felt in my gut that I would never find anything. I finally began to accept it, and then I met you. Now I almost wish this wasn't happening." I traced his strong jawline for him to look at me.

"You're freaking out, that's okay. No one said you had to get your hopes up. Just because this guy knows your name doesn't mean anything. Roy's smart and looks out for you, he wouldn't let this guy anywhere near you if he thought he was some whackjob."

"I'm not worried about my safety, I'm worried about my psyche. I can't handle being fucked around with anymore." He closed his eyes and I felt the color drain from my face as I watched a tear stream down his cheek. I needed to be the strong one for once. For the first time, I needed to protect him. I launched at him, flinging my arms around him to hold him to me.

"No matter what happens, remember?" I said. "We have eachother. I'm all yours and I know that you love me. That's what you need to be happy." I felt him nod and his arms tightened their hold on me as he whispered back,

"No matter what."

I watched the unwrapped Hershey's Kiss sail through the air toward me and craned my head back, catching it in my mouth and throwing my arms up in victory as Ed laughed.

"Yes!" He cheered. "And it only took about 10 tries. You better find all the ones that missed, the housekeeper will have my head if she finds chocolate smeared in my couch cusions." I smiled knowing my brave soldier, my State Alchemist, feared among terrorist organizations the world over for being deadly and undetectable like carbon minoxide, was intimidated by a sassy and 60-year old irish woman who didn't give two fucks. I giggled and thought she and my granny should have tea.

I saluted him sarcastically and said, "Yes sir, Fullmetal." He narrowed his lovely eyes at me and sauntered over from his club chair, holding my chin in his hand to look up at him. He grinned.

"Don't mock me woman." He pecked my cheek and disappeared towards the bedroom as I stood and gathered up the remaining Kisses, putting them in the trash. I stretched lazily and noted the time: 9pm. It looked like our guest was a no show. A pang of guilt hit me as I recalled the way I fussed over making Ed's apartment even more immaculate that it usually was, dusting every surface and lighting a yummy smelling candle to prepare for someone that didn't even bother to show. I could only imagine how Ed must've felt being stood up by his only known family. Anger roared in me, and I marched over to my phone to call downstairs and ask if this Alphonse guy had even bothered to call. But as I bent to pick up my phone I caught Hughes's voice carrying from the stairwell and coming closer. Without thinking, I ducked behind one of the large bookshelves that separated the seating area from billiards table and listened as the stairwell door opened and his voice became clear.

"Keep in mind that he doesn't remember you. He has no clue who you are. Now before I leave you, lets go over the rules one more time." Maes said. "What do you not ask about?"

"His job. I can't ask about his job." The voice was young, strong, and rang out clear and confident. A little higher than Edward's.

"What else?"

"His girl. I can't ask how he met -what was her name again?"

"Her name is Winry, and he's very protective of her. We all are. Tell me the last rule we talked about, the most important one." Maes ordered.

"Right, don't touch him and don't approach him. I have to let him come to me. Got it." I heard the stairwell door push open again to the soft knocks of shoes stepping on the hardwood floors.

"You know, If I didn't know better, I'd think you were releasing me into a wolf's den or something." The voice laughed nervously. The room grew quiet again and Maes replied,

"You have no idea."

I heard the door shut and my heart hammered. Holy crap. Edward's brother was here.

A/N: Almost there.