Chapter Four
The rain soon found me curled in the foetal position and I sighed as the cold drops hit my body and cooled my hot face. I didn't know how long I had laid there after my sobs had quietened, but I needed that last moment of weakness for it was healing.
I sat up slowly, feeling more energised than I could ever remember and got to my feet, my mind forming a plan.
I walked further into the forest, going to where Gale and I would hide our bows and our snares and gathered my weapons.
I would give back to my District, and I would give more than just food, water and medicine, I would give them hope- if there was even such a thing left. I could only hope that my efforts to gain their trust wouldn't be futile for I would need all the allies I could fall back on, I would need the people of my District to find the will to want to live like I was finding and help me when I would need it most.
I realised that I didn't have a lot of time, barely a week was all I had left to set the wheels into motion. I would have to work hard, I wouldn't rest not even to sleep. I would get my revenge. I pictured Snow's pale face twisted into the same pain I felt everyday since I volunteered for the Games and felt my resolve strengthen.
With my bow in my tight grip, and my arrows strapped to my back – I began walking further into the dense foliage of my woods, my tread light and careful my body down wind and my ears and eyes alert.
I couldn't shake the nervousness of holding my beloved weapon, it had been so long- it had been used to kill real things, real thinking living things, not like the animals I killed easily and quickly to fill the hollow bellies of my mother and sister. It would seem I had lost all finesse in the Games; my kills had been bloody, torturous and slow.
My arms trembled and my hands held so tightly onto the wooden bow that I was sure I would be picking out splinters until the tour started and then I had heard it, heavy tread. A big animal or maybe a Peacekeeper, I wasn't sure. I stifled my gasp, my treacherous mind easily taking me back to my terrors and I was so sure I would see Thresh, lumbering out behind the bushes- his shirt clinging with blood whether his or not, I wouldn't know. I didn't know how, but the arrow was already poised aiming in front of me ready for attack and I felt my stomach roll with nausea at how good I was at this. A branch snaps and the tread comes again, quicker this time around and I close my eyes tightly and shoot, my arrow easily lodges into the tree closest to where the sound was coming from and I hear the startled grunt of what sounds like a buck, before it runs quickly away. I throw my bow down and put my shaking hands over my eyes, my body trembling all over and then do I realise just how difficult this could be.
When I gain control over my senses, I heft my bow to rest over my shoulders and begin walking again although certainly not as confidently as I had. I twiddle the wire I have to make snares and decide I would start there. I quickly and efficiently make as many snares as I possibly could, until my fingers were sore and I had lost count.
Whilst making my snares I had noticed the abundance of fruits and edible plants. Since Gale and I had been reaped for the Games, there had been no one to venture into the woods and pick the fruit up until now; I picked at the fruits until the berries stained my fingertips.
The sky had darkened and with my new frame of mind, I found it hard to believe the confrontation between Madge and I, then Haymitch and I had only been hours before.
I was vulnerable and everyone could see it, if Madge had started an argument before – I wouldn't have let her off so lightly, the same went for Haymitch and I promised myself that I wouldn't let anyone get the better of me again. I strode purposefully out of the forest line and to my home, my mind ablaze with what I was planning to do.
The house was dark when I had entered, and I headed straight to the kitchen placing my heavy bag onto the table and mentally counting in my head just how many people lived in the District, it was impossible of course. The actual amount was far too many, even though we were a small outlining district. I thought of the food that I had collected, and what I could give out to the families. I would have to hunt, and soon. I didn't know how I would get over my new fear of shooting from my bow, but I would have to get over it. In the mean time, I could fish and gather roots and berries. I thought of Prim's goat and the milk I could get from it – my own family didn't need that milk any longer. My thoughts then lead onto Peeta, of the bread that he already gave out and realised that I had to talk to him, as soon as the sun would rise.
I emptied my bag whilst my mind raced with ideas for what I could do for my town, I needed to feed them and gain their trust and loyalty. It wouldn't be easy, but I had to try.
I sectioned off what I could as fairly as I could and gasped when the overhead light turned on, blinding me momentarily.
"Katniss? What are you doing?" Prim asked with a croaky voice, her hair askew and her arms cradling Buttercup.
"I'm sorry little duck, I didn't mean to wake you." I say quietly with a small smile, as she smiled shyly back.
"You haven't called me that in awhile." Prim admits placing her cat onto the floor and inspecting my meagre offerings of food. "What are you doing with all this food?"
"I- I don't really know." I mutter with a sigh as Prim toys with a berry. "I want to give back to the District, I want them to know that I am not part of the Capitol now."
"They know that Katniss, we all know that after watching what happened in there." Prim murmurs, her eyes dropping to her hands.
"The Capitol doesn't give us enough food for our District, I want to feed them somehow." I say with a shrug as Prim looks up at me with wide excited eyes.
"That's a good idea!" Prim states and I smile at her, knowing she would think that with her kind heart. "You can use Lady's milk, I can make cheese, and help you forage for berries – we can use dad's book." She said animatedly as I nod my head alongside her.
"Thank you, I really appreciate it." I murmur grabbing her hand gently.
"I've missed you Katniss." Prim whispered squeezing my hand tightly as I returned the gesture.
Morning came persistently like always but this time, I found that I eagerly awaited the new day, it wasn't any easier and the hole in my heart hadn't gotten any smaller but I had a goal in my mind and I was ready to chase it.
Prim and I had spoken into the night about our new plan on feeding the district, it was down to me now to speak to Peeta and ask him to be a part of it.
I strode into town, no longer as wary as I had been. I kept my hood down as I walked, making eye contact with the residents of the Seam and giving them firm nods. I walked straight to the bakery and stopped short at the tall tree I once took shelter under. I touched the thick bark, my fingers dancing across the dips and edges and looked up to where Peeta stood at the back door of the Bakery, a heavy bag slung over his shoulder.
"Peeta." I greeted him and watched as a slow smile spread across his face as he hurried over to where I stood.
"Katniss, what are you doing here? You look different." He remarked looking at me from head to toe.
"I still look like me." I murmured with a shrug. "Are you busy? Can we talk?"
"Of course, do you mind if we walk? I was just going to do my rounds." Peeta stated heading off.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about actually. I want to feed the District with food from the forest, but they need more than just berries. Can you help me?" I ask watching as his feet slowed to a stop.
"What do you need Katniss?" He asked me, his voice low and serious.
"Bread, or just grain. Anything really." I say gently as he stood in silence. "I know I shouldn't ask you for anything, especially after the way that I treated you after the Games." I murmured looking down at my feet.
"Don't. Katniss, just don't. I don't ever expect you to apologise for anything that you have said to me. I deserved it. You were right, it should have been me that was killed in the Games and I'm sorry that it wasn't." Peeta stated with a deep sigh as I stood in shocked silence. "I'll do it. I'll help you."
I could only watch as Peeta gave me one last sad smile before turning his back to me and began walking to the Seam. Peeta was kind, and he didn't deserve to feel like he should have been the one to die. I hated Snow more and more in that very moment.
I rolled my shoulders and hurried back to the edge of the forest, seeing little Prim sat nervously beside the broken fence under the shade of a thick tree.
"You ready?" I call to her as she nods her blonde head seriously. Her arms are already loaded with the thick heavy book our father had made. I shake my own head at seeing it. "You don't need that. I can tell you what you can pick or what you can't."
"Well what if we see something that you have never seen before?" Prim questions with a furrowed brow and I bark a laugh and shrug my shoulders before agreeing with her.
We walk in silence out of sight of town before finding the hole in the fence and climbing through. I'm nervous. I have never taken Prim into the forest before and immediately I am thinking about the possibilities of being found by Peacekeepers or worse wild dogs. I know that I will have to carry my bow in case I need to protect Prim.
"Prim, if we see or hear something – you have to run. If it's an animal, you'll have to climb a tree but if it's a Peacekeeper I can be a distraction but you will have to get out through the fence without me. Can you do that?" I ask her, my voice full of severity as her pale blue eyes widened.
"Okay Katniss." She murmurs with a nod of her head, looking around her warily.
"We'll be okay though." I reassure her, though I know there is a higher possibility of Peacekeepers. The tour would start in under a week. More and more Peacekeepers had been arriving to prepare for the televised speech I would have to give, where the whole town would be in attendance. It made me shudder.
I left Prim to forage whilst I walked a little further away to check on my snares, my ears alert listening to her hum as she picked the fruits.
I sighed at finding an empty snare, I would have to hunt with my bow if my snares didn't always work. I walked further, still aware of Prim's humming and feeling confident that she would be okay. A plump dead rabbit was caught and I quickly grabbed at it feeling hopeful, I walked a little further and felt a thrill at finding more. A squirrel and a fat bird, it wasn't much but at least it was something.
I remade my snares, holding tightly onto the dead animals fully aware of wild dogs and tried to work as quickly as possible.
Prim's scream came loud and long and I threw myself into the direction it was coming from, my free hand flying to my shoulder and finding no bow or arrows.
"Prim?!" I screamed my voice fraught as I ran as fast as I could to where I had left her. I see her small bag next to the foliage that I had left her at but see her nowhere. I gasp for air and scan for her, hearing her sniffling sobs. I run toward her, tripping over my own feet in my haste.
"Prim?!" I call again in relief as Prim turns toward me her eyes red and watery. I pull her into my arms tightly and squeeze her, seeing over her head the cause of her scream. One of my snares, one that I had forgotten about held a dead large turkey.
"I'm sorry Katniss." Prim cried, hugging me harder as I forced the air back into my lungs. My poor gentle sister who cried over dead animals, I was reminded once again why I had volunteered to save my baby sister.
"Shh, its okay. I'm sorry you had to see that. But this is good, this is really good Prim. Think of all of the people we can feed with that bird." I reminded her, fully aware of the dead small animals that hung limply in my other hand, I put them behind my back as I patted Prim's blonde hair gently.
We gathered more berries before deciding to turn back. I walked Prim back to the fence, and listened for the loud buzz and sighed at hearing the normal silence that I was used to.
"Prim, go straight to the house and organise the fruit." I kiss her head as she nodded with a small smile, climbing carefully through with her bag cradled in one arm our fathers book in the other.
I looked at the large turkey I had to carry, the other smaller creatures had fitted into my bag but I knew if I was caught with this dead animal I would be in serious trouble. It was still light out but I couldn't wait until night fall, other wild animals would smell the scent of death and would want my meat.
I took a deep breath, and climbed through the fence. I walked purposefully out and into the open, there was no cover here, all I could hope for would be to get to the house as quickly as possible.
I made it past Haymitch's house, seeing my own standing tall and proud. Not much further I chanted to myself as I cradled the heavy dead bird.
"Katniss?" A voice called out, I didn't recognise it. I carried on walking as if I hadn't even heard it. My house was getting closer and closer. If only I could just get to the door and throw the damn bird in and out of sight.
"Katniss?" Haymitch then calls out, my feet slowed to a stop and my heart raced. I turned my head to look over my shoulder. Haymitch was trailing after a young Peacekeeper that was looking at me with a leer.
"Ah, the famous Katniss Everdeen!" The man calls with a grin but it feels predatory. I carry on walking.
"I'm sorry, I'm late for supper. I didn't win the Games just to have my mother kill me!" I call over my shoulder and forcing a laugh.
"Maybe you can meet her later or tomorrow?" I hear Haymitch state with a chortle.
"What have you got there?" The Peacekeeper asks and I sigh before stopping. "I said; what have you got there?" He repeats himself and I slowly pivot around to show him the dead animal. Haymitch closes his eyes tightly and shakes his head silently. "Where'd you get that from?"
"I found it." I state with a shrug as the Peacekeeper runs his eyes over my face and body.
"It's okay." He laughs but I feel no ease. The Peacekeeper looks to Haymitch with a smirk and shrugs his shoulder. "Did anyone else see you with that?" He asks, turning his attention back to me.
"No." I say slowly, confused as to why he isn't doing his job. Why he isn't punishing me.
"That's okay then." He murmurs with a nod of his head before stalking toward me slowly. He stops in front of me and leans in so that we are face to face. "I mean, it could have been really bad if it wasn't me who saw you with this dead animal. I mean any other Peacekeeper could have assumed you had a weapon and we all know how good you are with a bow. You could have been punished for this. Fifty lashing's at the whipping post or maybe worse." He murmurs, his breath fanning over my face and I nod my head numbly. "So how about this, I won't tell anyone – not a soul. You and your family won't be punished."
"What do you want?" I ask through gritted teeth, my body shaking at the mention of my innocent family.
"I only want you, for one night." The Peacekeeper states seriously, licking his thin lips. I stare back at him confused, my eyes darting toward Haymitch and watching him stiffen and avoid my eyes.
"What?" I ask dumbly, though my cheeks are heating with the implication and a fire is burning inside me.
"Don't act coy with me. I am sure I am not the first person that has asked for you, it's what Haymitch and I were talking about earlier before I saw you. A young beautiful Victor like yourself is well sought after." His words aren't making sense, its like my ears are full of cotton and the words spewing from his mouth are muffled and confusing. My stomach rolls with nausea has his words sink in.
"What?" I repeat myself, looking to Haymitch for reassurance but still he doesn't meet my eye.
"You're expensive – I knew you would be. But this will be a favour, you can keep the bird, I know the Capitol doesn't send enough food, I am very understanding. But my silence will come at a price." He said I was expensive, that he wanted me for a whole night. I felt sick. I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. I was wheezing. I was being sold. I was being sold and bartered for like I was a piece of meat at the Hob and Haymitch knew.
"Hey hey hey." Haymitch finally intervened. "She is still recovering, but I'm sure we can work something out." Haymitch murmured leading the young vile Peacekeeper away and back to his house as I stood in muted shock, the bird dangling from my tightly gripped hand as silent tears dropped from my eyes and stained my cheeks.
I was being sold. My body was being sold. I fell heavily onto my knees, the dead bird laying forgotten onto the muddy ground beside me as I heaved and emptied my stomach of its contents. Haymitch was selling me.