"Before you say anything JJ, I tried! I really, really tried!" Alex said and put her coffee down on the desk so violently some of it spilled over and trickled down the sides of the cup. "Damnit," she said in a lower voice and began wiping it off. Coffee stains on the case files was inevitable from time to time, but Hotch always looked upon it with a frown. Well, with a deeper frown than usual, at least.

JJ watched as Alex, while attempting to wipe the cup's underside, tilted it and caused even more of the dark fluid to spill.

"Look out!" she said, but she was a split second too late. The lid came off and Alex suddenly had more to worry about than a stained case file. The hot liquid soaked her sleeve and burned her arm. It wasn't hot enough to give her blisters, but it hurt nevertheless.

"Ow! Fuck this shit!"

JJ had never heard her colleague raise her voice, nor use that kind of language, but that wasn't what surprised her the most. It was the hint of defeat in Alex's voice. She sounded genuinely fed up with life. After the verbal outburst, she just stood there with her head hanging, looking like she might cry. She showed no sign of taking her dripping jacket off, or even try to wipe at it. She just stood there and let her emotions wash over her. Her jaws clenched. When she spoke again, it was in a trembling, quiet, frustrated voice.

"I have tried… I have paid hundreds of dollars going on dates that could have been taken straight from a bad sitcom. I have spent hours trying to look my best after exhausting days of work and still nobody seems to find me the slightest bit attractive. I am nothing but a pathetic, middle-aged, divorced, childless woman who is married to a career which she is failing, and guilty of being stupid enough to believe that she can reinvent herself when she's closing in on fifty!"

Alex took a deep, shuddering breath and suddenly burst into tears.

"And it has gone so far that I actually want that kitten!" she added furiously, as if this realisation was the final straw.

"Alex…" JJ was at a loss of words, but sometimes you say more without them. She reached out her hands and gently helped the other woman out of the jacket. She took a good look at her arm, but although the skin was red and irritated there were no blisters. Alex just stood still, allowing JJ to touch her, allowing it with a calm that surprised her. She usually hated it when people touched her if she felt vulnerable. She made an effort to get a hold of herself and stop the weeping before she looked like the complete mess she felt like she was.

"And to add insult to injury, now I'm gonna reek of coffee all day," she said in a choked voice. JJ laughed softly.

"I could think of worse things," she said. "Why don't you go and fix yourself, and I'll clean this up. Then I'd like to know what happened last weekend that set you off like this. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think, but if it is, we'll sort it out."

Alex sighed.

"Okay." And then, just before leaving; "Thank you."

It's the least I can do, JJ thought. I was the one who lured you into the whole dating game to begin with. Oh, damn it Alex, I'm sorry. I should have just asked you out myself, but I was - still am - pretty sure I wouldn't live up to your standards either.

"The worst part is that it seemed to go well," Alex began. "I picked her up at her apartment - not posh, but not shabby either, looked like a nice place for a middle class single woman. She was pretty, not overly done, but not unkempt. You know, I'm pretty much describing the Goldilocks version of a date; not too much, not too little, just right."

JJ nodded. She had no idea where Alex was going with this or what could have gone so wrong, but she wasn't going to butt in. Alex's eyes were still a bit swollen from crying and she only maintained eye contact for short periods of time, as if she was ashamed. JJ really didn't want to upset her any further.

"I thought she looked a bit young, so I asked. She said that she was twenty-seven, and that had me recoil for a second. But she reassured me that she had absolutely no problem with me being twenty years her senior; in fact, she just laughed and waved it off as if it was of no importance. And by then I was…" she trailed off and struggled to find the right word. "I think smitten is the most accurate word. She was charming and witty, she liked to read books, which I find is a depressingly unusual interest among the general public nowadays…"

JJ smiled.

"… she ordered a Chardonnay and pronounced the word correctly…"

JJ's smile widened. This was typical of Alex Blake. She was a very nice, very sweet, very patient person, but she could be something of a snob. That was part of her charm.

"… she did not get drunk. She did not lecture me on hygiene, global warming or freedom of speech. She did not express an extreme point of view when it came to religion, politics or even taste in music, and she did not talk about her exes. What she did do was smiling, flirting, making jokes, laughing at mine, complimenting the food without mentioning having to go on a diet tomorrow to make up for it…"

Alex fell silent and swallowed hard. The seconds ticked by and she said nothing. JJ was beginning to think she wouldn't, when she suddenly gave a bitter laugh and threw her hands out in a gesture of surrender.

"Then, as we were leaving, she dropped her purse. Everything fell out - including her wallet. Including what was inside the wallet," she added pointedly, as if JJ was supposed to know what her date kept in her wallet.

"Okay?"

"So obviously I helped her pick it up. Among the things I picked up was her driver's license. She was nineteen. Nineteen years old. I went on a date with a teenager. And that's not even the worst part; the worst part was that she was lying to me!"

Alex pounded her fist against her thigh, hard.

"I'm an FBI profiler and she fooled me like nothing! Bait, hook and rod, I swallowed the whole damn fishing trip! Am I so starved for attention that I ignore the obvious signs of deception, or am I just stupid?!"

She gave her thigh another punch and JJ reached out and grabbed Alex's hand before she could do any damage to herself. Little by little she massaged the clenched fist into an open hand, that lay limp and heavy in JJ's both.

"You didn't know. Some people are incredibly difficult to tell the age of, you know that as well as I do. And you had no reason to doubt her word, did you?"

Alex shook her head.

"No. But the fact remains."

"The fact is that nothing happened."

"But it did. The date happened." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well, it's over now. The whole debacle. The dating game is officially over."

With that, she withdrew her hand and hid her face with it. JJ couldn't think of anything to say. She felt terrible.

The silence between them stretched out for a long time until Alex eventually broke it by saying:

"I tried, JJ."

"I know you did. And I'm sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve it."

"No, I don't think I did," Alex replied in a contemplative voice.

There was that spirit again, that dignity that was the trademark of Alex Blake. There was only a mere hint of it, but at least it was back. JJ heaved an inward sigh of relief. She never would have forgiven herself if she had been the cause - direct or indirect - for extinguishing that spark.

"I'm sorry I pushed you to do this."

"Yeah, well. If you get me a new coffee I'll forgive you."

"It's a deal."

When Alex smiled, JJ once more thought I should have asked you out myself.

But it's always easy to make the right decisions in retrospect.

A/N

Okay, so this part wasn't very light-hearted, I'm sorry about that. I surprised myself, if that's of any consolation.

Personally, I'm not very impressed with the age thing - I definitely don't endorse illegal actions (however in my country the age of consent is 15) but I think the most important part of a relationship is love and mutual respect. Which, for the record, I don't think you show if you lie.

But enough with the serious stuff,

next chapter will be all kittens and fluff. ^^