Hey, Potter!
*sigh* Yes?
Sex is is a sensation caused by temptation when I put my location in your destination to increase population of the next generation. Do you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?
Murder is the act, when you come to lack, the common sense of fact, to get off my back, or if you're too dense to react, you know what, just get the hell out of my way.
...
Hey, Potter, I just realised something.
That you're going to finally leave me alone?
You look a lot like my next lover.
Poor guy.
...
Zabini, is this supposed to be payment for hours of torture listening to you testing awful pick-up lines on me? Because you're going to have to double it to make up for it.
No, that's for you to drink till I look hot enough for you to sleep with.
... Sorry, calculation error, you're going to have to triple, not double it.
...
Hello, Potter, I'm doing a survey for which pick-up lines you think are the worst-
Oh, hang on, let me try to remember the one you used yesterday.
-between 'Can I take a picture of you so Santa knows what I want for Christmas', 'does this rag smell like chloroform to you' or 'I'm doing a survey for which pick-up lines you think are the worst?'
Oh, this one, definitely. Or maybe that awful one about you having a diary. Or telling me that I have curves. Or when you asked me for my sign. I mean, seriously, have some class, man.
...
I'm sorry, Potter, were you talking to me?
No.
Well, please start.
No.
Dang.
...
If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
50%, honestly, is your math that bad?
...
Ouch! Zabini, shoving me into the table is not a good way to ask me out.
Oh. Well, would you like me to apologize, or do you want to f***?
I'll take the apology.
Sorry, Potter, I've been a very bad boy... I think you need to punish me.
Ewwww.
...
Potter, I just want to give you the satisfaction of turning me down. Go ahead. Say no.
No.
Told you reverse-psychology doesn't work.
Shut up, beaver.
...
Potter, will you go out with me this Saturday?
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
No.
No. Do you honestly think I'm that stupid? I'm hurt, Zabini.
...
You smell.
Wow, thanks, Zabini.
I smell.
I know.
Wanna shower with me?
... I think I'd rather smell.
...
Empty your pockets, Potter.
Why?
I believe you've stolen my heart.
Hmm. *empties pockets* oh, look at this little dried leaf. That must be it. Here you go.
...
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
Thank god you're worse than Neville at transfiguration. And even if you weren't, no.
...
Hey, Potter!
What now?
Picture this: you, me, a bubble bath and champagne.
Right, well, I'll smash the bottle on your head and drown you in the tub.
...
Hey, Potter!
Zabini, I seem to have lost my underwear. Can I see yours?
Wait-what? Really?
Nah, I was just wondering if it'd make you shut up. Sadly, not.
...
Hey, Potter, is this seat taken?
Actually, yes.
...
Hey, Potter, is this seat still taken?
No, and this one won't be either if you sit down.
...
There will only be 7 planets left, Potter, after I destroy Uranus.
Well, Professor Trelawny wouldn't be too pleased.
...
If I had a Sickle for every time I saw someone as sexy as you, I'd have 17 Knuts.
If I had a Sickle for everytime I saw someone as ugly as you, I'd have 17 Knuts.