Happy Valentine's Day, Potter! Potter? Potter? Hey, where are you going?
...
Hey, Potter!
What?
Are you made of Copper and Tellurium, because you are CuTe!
Are you made of bismuth, technetium and hydrogen, because you're being a BiTcH.
Ouch.
...
Hey, Potter! This cello isn't the only big wood between my legs.
That's a bass.
Oh.
...
You know, Potter, a face like yours turns heads.
You know, Zabini, a face of yours turns stomachs.
...
What do math and I have in common? We're both hard for you.
Oh well I was thinking it was that you both have a hell of a lot of nasty problems. Or that I hate you both with a burning passion.
No humour today, eh, Potter?
Piss off, Zabini.
...
When I'm around you I can't think straight. Get it? Straight?
Go walk into a pillar.
Really grumpy today, are you?
*walks off*
Nooooooooo why must you ignore me~
Because I don't like you.
...
...
Hi!
Why is there a ribbon around your waist?
I wanted to give you a sweet present for Valentine's Day!
Fine. Where is it?
...
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Hey, Potter!
Yeah?
You know, I think I'm going to be on your naughty list this Christmas *wink wink* I wonder what you do to naughty boys?
I give them to Professor Mcgonnagal.
Damn.
...
Hey, Potter!
What?
I can't find a Halloween costume, can I go as your boyfriend?
Halloween's not for another eight months, Zabini. And you can always go as Malfoy's.
No!
...
Now, Potter, what's a prince like you doing in a dungeon like this? Come to visit me?
Going for potions class, stupid.
...
Aw, Potter, you look so distressed. Shall I come over and save you?
You're my cause of distress!
Oh.
...
Potter, my love for you burns like a dying Phoenix.
I hope it dies too.
:(
...
"Hey, Blaise," Draco smirked, sitting down opposite Blaise and taking a bite of his mashed potatoes. "How's it going?"
Blaise shot him a sour look. "Piss off, Malfoy."
"Malfoy? Not Draco? I'm wounded," Draco clutched his heart in mock devastation. "C'mon, give me your progress. Hermione's gonna sit with my during Potions after Lunch."
"Hermione? Not Granger? I'm surprised," Ginny Weasley half-mimicked Draco as she suddenly slid down next to him. Draco and Blaise stared.
"What the hell are you doing at the Slytherin table, Weaslette!" they exclaimed unanimously. Ginny scowled and took a piece of chicken.
"Do you want my help or not, Zabini?" she said through a mouthful of food. "Recently, I've been observing your oh-so-pitiful attempts to woo Potter-shut up," she responded to Blaise's affronted protests of 'my efforts were charming', "that's bullcrap. No boy in their right mind would fall for something like that. And, so, as I was observing, I realised that you both would, if you actually tried properly, be a really cute couple. I also realised I don't like Harry that much, and anyway, Dean Thomas apologized for being such an annoying jerk. So, if you're willing to make Harry happy, I'm willing to help you snare him."
"So he was PMSy because you broke up with him?!" Blaise spluttered, choking on his pumpkin juice. "On Valentine's day? That's a little harsh, don't you think?"
"He's a pretty angsty kid," Ginny shrugged. "So do we have a deal before Ronniekins notices me sitting at the Slytherin table and sprays me with the food in his mouth while babbling about my 'idiocy' and 'enemy fraternization'?"
Blaise got down to his knees and bowed before her.