Hey, Granger!
No Hermione this time?
...
You know, Hermione, your earrings are the mirrors that reflect the moonlight from your beautiful eyes.
Firstly, I'm not wearing earrings; secondly, we're in a dungeon in mid-day; thirdly, you're going to explode that potion if you add-
BOOM
...
Oops?
...
Hermione, you know, I think Weasley thinks you're pretty cute.
Oh?
But I think you're absolutely gorgeous.
Aw, thanks. I think Weasley thinks you're pretty cute too.
What.
Just kidding.
...
OH MY GOD MIONE WHY ARE YOU SITTING WITH THAT SLYTHERIN GIT ARE YOU FRATERNIZING WI-
Unfortunately, Weasley, today Hermione has chosen to sit next to somebody sophisticated and gentlemanly.
Oh. I guess I should go sit with Dean. Or maybe Seamus.
Wait-but Hermioneee
...
Hey, Hermione!
What?
My name is Doug, which is God backwards with a little bit of you/U in it.
I knew you weren't particularly intelligent, but I honestly didn't think you would actually forget your name.
I had a hunch.
Shut up, Potter.
...
Hey, Hermione! If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable. Hermione? Are you okay? Why aren't you breathing?
Honestly, Drake, I think she can't breathe with laughter over the lameness of that. You didn't really just compare her to a chicken, did you?
... Shut up, Blaise.
...
Hermione, I'll give you a cookie if you'll go out with me.
Don't you know how bad cookies are for your teeth? The crumbs and sugar will get stuck in between your pearly whites and if you don't brush your them properly - and remember to floss(!) - then you'll get holes in your teeth and that'll be nasty and then-
Okay, okay, never mind.
...
Uhm, Malfoy, why are you giving me cheese crackers?
Read the note.
Uhm... 'I hope you don't think this is cheesy but will you go out with me'.
So?
I think it's pretty cheesy, so no.
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Hey, Hermione... Can I flirt with you? *wink*
No.
Aww.
...
Hermione, are your robes felt? Do you want them to be?
All our robes are made of the same material, Malfoy.
...
You know, Hermione, is it legal to be that beautiful?
Is it legal to use pick-up lines that bad?
:(
...
I would kill or die to be with you.
Please die.
Meanie.
Meanie yourself.
You're meanie-er.
No, you're meanie-er!
Meanie-est!
Meanie-meanie-meanie-est!
MEANIE-ER THAN ANY OTHER MEANIE EVER!
MEANIE-ER TH- what am I doing with my life. You're doing this to me. Go away.
... Meanie.
...
Hey, Hermione, those robes would go great on my carpet.
That's just too bad, isn't it?
Aw.
...
Malfoy, do you think you could please pass my essay up to the Professor?
Draco.
What?
Call me Draco.
Oh... okay, Draco. Do you think you could please pass my essay up to the Professor?
It would be my pleasure to handle the work of one so beautiful.
Yeah, this is special parchment Flourish and Blotts just got, it's charmed to always look new and a nice bone colour. I like it far better than the creamy ones.
I meant you.
Oh. Thank you, Draco.
...
Hey, Hermione.
Hi, Draco, why are you at the Gryffindor's table?
The voices in my head told me to talk to you.
Oh, it must be the Wrackspurts.
Uhm, what?
The Wrackspurts have been very excited lately. They told me that Draco and Blaise made a bet on who could get you or Harry out first. I thought that was very funny, all your interactions.
Uh oh.
Wait?! What?! I- I...
Woah! Hermione! Wait up! No! Come back!