... Hermione?
...
Hermione?
Go away!
No.
Ugh.
I'm sorry!
Don't touch me!
I'm sorry, Hermione darling, but I'm stuck and I can't unstick myself until you forgive me.
CONFRIN-
NEVER MIND!
...
Hermione, do you have a map, because I'm lost in your eyes.
NO, I DON'T AND I HOPE YOU DROWN IN THEM AND DIE! *stomps off*
*sighs* I already am.
...
Hey, Hermione, you look a little tired and sad... I think you need some vitamin me.
You've made me a wreck, you bastard, but I'm not ready to hit the pill yet.
Ouch.
...
You know, Hermione, your body is a wonderland and I'd love to be Alice.
Can't you just leave me alone, you bloody tranny.
Hey, I am not a tranny!
...
OKAY OKAY BYE
...
Are you a Dementor, Hermione, because you just take my breath away.
Permanently, I hope.
...
Right, I'm here.
I can see that. Please see yourself out.
I thought you were looking for a Mr. Right? Because then I'm right here.
No, I'm looking for a Ms. Right, actually.
Wait what.
No, I'm kidding. I'm sorry, Draco, but I don't like those like you. I don't like girls. I like boys.
...
Great legs, Hermione, what time do they open?
Now.
OW MY CROTCH YOU VIOLENT WOMAN!
Ha!
Nice one, Hermione!
Thanks, Ron.
...
Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?
Do I want to know?
*wink*
Ugh.
...
Hey Hermione, you like conserving stuff like House Elf rights, right?
It's S.P.E.W., by the way, NOT spew; and you can't conserve rights.
Yeah, well, anyway, what about we save water and you shower with me?
What about we save resources and kill you now?
...
I'm ugly. You're hot. Let's make average babies.
Why would I do anything like that?
Because... Uh. I'm hot?
I thought you just said you were ugly?
Well yeah but-
Piss off.
...
Hermione?
Now what?! I just cannot deal with you right now, okay! All my exams are coming up and I just can't deal with-
Hermione, I can explain-
That you tried to get into my pants for money?! That you just played around with my feelings for a handful of gold?! That you-
No! It's just that- wait? Your feelings?
Just go away!
You screwed up big time, Malfoy.
Shut up, Weaslette.
Tut tut.
Hello, Hermione.
Oh... Hi, Luna.
Would you like a toffee?
I wouldn't eat that, it's probably one of Fred and George's Ton-Tongue Toffee. You know. The one that makes your tongue tie itself in a knot. Nice alliteration though. 'TTT ties your tongue'. It's really quite-
You're rambling.
I know.
He does like you, you know.
I don't think so, Luna. You said so yourself. There was a bet.
An opportunity to target you without being mocked by fellow Slytherins. And get some money in along the way. The Malfoys are going bankrupt because of a giant inflatable banana d*ld* Lucius Malfoy accidentally bought while he was drunk and refused to lend it to Cornelius Fudge, who threatened to tell his wife and his six mistresses if he didn't hand over a large amount of money.
Uh... okay. And anyway; please, why would he like me of all people?
Would he stake a hundred Galleons if he didn't love you, seeing as you're already as elusive as a Crumple-Horned Snorkak?
A hundred Galleons?!
He probably thinks you're worth more than that.
So what, anyway? He's so egoistic he probably thinks he can seduce anybody he wants.
Seen him shagging around lately?
Luna!
Have you?
No...
There you have it.
But-
JUST KISS ALREADY!
Uhm, Ginny, what are you doing here?
Uh-uh-uh LAVENDER TOLD ME!
BUT PARVATI CONVINCED ME!
AND LUNA SAID-
...