Lesson Six
If I were considering your past advances, I wouldn't say this but maybe you need to know how to use it right. One very important thing about courting your man is respect. Respect is very important. You have to respect Harry and his wants, needs and personal space bubble. Yes, there's a thing got personal space bubble. Never heard of it? Not surprised.
... Zabini, are you stalking me?
Uh-uh, no, sir!
Uh, Zabini, are you okay?
Yes, sir!
O-kay...? *weirded out*
Would you like a cup of tea, sir?
No?
Of course, sir.
... Right. Okay. Bye.
...
Lesson Seven
There's something sensual about mystery. Maybe instead of throwing yourself like a desperate hoe in Harry's face, you should lay back a bit, shoot him some non-pervy but mysterious and dark looks during class. Everybody loves a smouldering man.
OH MY GOD, HARRY! OH MY GOD!
What is it, Ron, has Snape finally admitted he's a child-eating vampiric cat-fur-allergy?
Well, no... BUT ZABINI HAS!
Wait, what?!
He's flapping around dramatically the Great Hall in a swirling black vampire cloak and he's giving everybody the Evil-Eye, Harry! Harry, he's going to eat me!
...
And Snape looks so angry, I think it's because Zabini is stealing his look! His eyes are going all big and googly! I think they're going to have a staring contest! What do we do, Harry?
Bet you ten Galleons Snape wins!
...
Lesson Eight
Get to know his friends. You can't go wrong there, you're a pretty charming guy.
Hello, Beaver, if you could please get that poky nose of yours out of that horrible book, I'd like to talk to you.
*thwack*
Ow! *flees* Ginny, she hit me!
Why the hell did you call her nose poky? And her book horrible?! You know Hogwarts; A History is practically her lover!
I needed to get her attention!
Well, you got it alright. If I were you, I'd run for the hills.
Why?
ZABINI, YOU GET YOUR SORRY ARSE OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!
RIGHT YOU ARE, WEASLETTE!
...
Attempt Two:
Hey, Weasel, how do I bed your best friend?
...
Lesson Nine
I don't know why I didn't say this right in the beginning. Talk to him. Find a common ground. Get to know him like a friend.
Hey, Harry?
Uh, yes, Zabini?
You like Quidditch, right?
Yeah?
You like riding broomsticks, right?
Yeah...?
Wanna ride mine? ;)
Sorry, I don't ride lousy models.
... Ouch.
...
Lesson Ten
Be sincere. Ask nicely. Act like you really care about him. Not act, I mean, I mean show him that you really care! Really try, this time.
Harry?
Oh, Zabini. I was just looking for you.
Yeah, okay, I know we haven't really got off on a good start, and I know I've been a huge bother to you-
Za-
-but I really hope that you can give me one chance -just one - to show that I really do care about you.
Well, I-
I'll meet you at the Entrance, Saturday, 6 o'clock, I'll take you to dinner.
Wait, I-
See you then, Harry!
But-
Bye!
But... I wanted to ask you first.