Well, hate me, yet? xD Seriously, even I was growing impatient on uploading this chapter! But hello, my darlings! Welcome to the longest chapter I've uploaded so far! It won't be the longest, I can promise you that; there will be lengthier ones down the road. But this one...there aren't a lot of words to describe it. It's everything that one could possibly think of to be in one single chapter. Even after re-reading it myself, it left me feeling heavy with emotions. Though I kind of hope it does the same for you all? Not that I want you to get super emotional on me, but we can all be emotional together? Anyways, here is the next one and as always, rate and review :)

They made the journey back to the apartment in silence, neither wanting to, or not knowing what to, say to the other. For Deidara, he was more than enough embarrassed.

How the hell did Sasori find those pills?

He made sure they never came out of his bag until he was safely in his own room.

As he stared unenthusiastically out the stained back window of the taxi cab, he racked his brain for any signs of negligence he may have had that tipped his roommate off about his 'situation'.

And then it hit him…

Remembering when he had left his bag down in the living room the night before, he cursed under his breath.

Great…now he'll have to explain everything.

Tentatively turning his head to look at the redhead, he noticed that he, too, was staring out the window, quite possibly doing the same as he was; in trying to avoid as much communication with him as possible until they were safely back in their home.

He didn't know exactly when he began calling the penthouse 'home'. All he knew was that, whenever he stepped through the entrance door, he felt 'at home' and 'right'.

He wondered if his roommate felt the same way…

Once they got back, they paid the cab driver, who tipped his hat in gratitude and joined the never-ending throng of evening traffic in the city, and they quietly made their way into the building and into the elevator. Even as they rode the elevator, neither said a word, not even when they exited the metal box, not even when they unlocked the door and walked into the penthouse, and not even when they unconsciously moved to the kitchen through the living room.

It wasn't until Deidara had sat down, Sasori had reached into a cupboard and extracted an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels, and had joined the younger male at the island and placed the whiskey between them that the silence was finally broken.

"Sasori, I don't drink, un," came the hesitant response from the sculptor.

"Why?" the older male asked, rather annoyed. Deidara winced at the harshness of the tone. "I just don't, un."

"Does it have to do with the Disulfiram?"

"Danna, please, I don't want-"

"You don't want to tell me?" Sasori finished the sentence, but ended it with a question. Deidara blinked for a few seconds. "…I don't know, un."

Silence.

Sighing, the redhead uncapped the whiskey bottle and took a long sip, allowing the golden liquid to run down his throat and land harshly in his stomach. "Well, I guess I'll start then."

"What are you talk-"

"As Pein told you, I grew up in the city my entire life," Sasori began, staring at the granite countertop. "I was born by an impregnated teenage girl. My mother had me her senior year of high school, forcing her boyfriend, the one who got her pregnant, to marry her and help take care of me. Because of both of them only graduating high school, they had to go after their GEDs. Yet that didn't help much in obtaining jobs that paid enough to live comfortably. Even the hospital I was born in was inside the city. With not having enough money, my parents couldn't afford to live in an actual house; we had to stick with apartments situated in the bad parts of the town.

Unfortunately, we moved around a lot. Because of this, I didn't make many friends and stuck to myself most of the time whenever I was forced to transfer to a new school. Even through all of that, I still loved my parents. Except until my father began a relationship with alcohol. In high school, he drank, but so did my mom until she found out she was pregnant. Sadly, the stress of constantly moving and having to find new jobs deemed too stressful for my father. So, he took to drinking alcohol as an escape. And because of that, he became violent, aggressive, and would hit my mother and I out of drunken anger. I was too young at the time to do anything about it.

However, my time with my parents was cut short," he paused momentarily to take another swig of whiskey. "A few months after I turned 8, my parents died in a car accident. Since my mom came from a family who thought sex before marriage was a sin, they didn't want anything to do with me, while on my dad's side, I barely had any relatives at all. I was close to being placed in an orphanage until my grandmother on my dad's side suddenly appeared and took me in. Even though she cared and loved me as much as she could, I just couldn't get over the fact that my parents were gone. Every day, I would see little kids holding their parents' hand, and if they were to fall, the father would pick them up and console them while the mother placed healing kisses on their scratched palms. All the while I stood there, watching, wishing I had my parents.

I grew up with my grandmother taking care of me for most of my life. She was the only one who supported me; everyone else thought I would amount to nothing because I didn't have actual parents. It was awkward when it would be my grandmother showing up to Parent/Teacher conferences in middle school instead of my mom and dad. But that was my life; yet even with my grandmother's love, I still felt alone. Mostly because I was alone."

Another swig of the golden liquid.

"Even at age 10, I realized that, outside of my grandma, I was alone. My family on my mom's side looked at me as if I was a sin and not an actual human being. There were barely any relatives on my dad's side, so calling them was worthless. And, like I said before, because I transferred schools numerous times before my parents died, I was used to isolating myself. So even when kids went up to talk to me, I barely spoke a word. The only reason Pein is my best friend was because he was so persistent in trying to get me to talk.

In high school, the isolating only grew. I was considered an 'outsider', so no one really talked to me. But I was fine with that; I was used to being alone. Plus, I also had my puppets."

Another swig.

"Danna, you're drinking too fa-"

"I started creating puppets shortly after my parents died," Sasori chose to ignore the blonde. He was already on a roll and didn't feel like stopping any time soon. He took another, longer swig for emphasis. "The puppets, to me, acted as my companions when no one else wanted to be. In high school, somehow the knowledge of my puppet-making got around, and I became the sufferer of 'bullying'. In all honesty, I wouldn't call it bullying; it was more or less people making fun of others because their own lives were boring and miserable.

Despite the negativity that surrounded my life, I chose not to give up. Despite people telling me that I would amount to nothing, I chose to prove them wrong by allowing myself to continue and move ahead. I graduated high school and then went to the local college where I worked at becoming a computer programmer. I was hired as an intern at the company I work at now back when I started my sophomore year, and once I graduated, they offered me a position with a starting salary of $150,000. I've been working there ever since. But I chose to allow myself to accept the doubters and haters by conforming to their ideas of an 'outsider' who 'would never amount to anything.'"

"So that's why you got all those piercings, un?" Deidara asked curiously. The redhead only nodded before taking another long swig.

It was almost already three-fourths of the way done.

"I started out with the snake bites, then moved to the others," he explained. "The tongue piercing was the most recent, but that was over a year ago. I haven't pierced anything else since. But by doing that, I conformed to what everyone saw me as: a punk kid who would never go anywhere in life. And if I can beg to defer, I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job."

"So why did you do that, un?" the sculptor asked. "Conform to the stereotypes, I mean?"

"I get a sick rise out of watching people think one way about me while I know, for myself, that I'm not."

They stayed in comfortable silence for quite some time.

Well…at least it was comfortable for Sasori.

He had no idea how the blonde was taking in all the new information.

But for Sasori he felt…lighter, freer. The only other person in his entire life he had told that story to was Pein, but even then, he had had some difficulty in speaking.

But with Deidara, it had been easy. Maybe it was the mix of whiskey playing a part, but he hadn't felt awkward or weird talking about his past.

Maybe it was because he was in love with the brat.

Either way, he had told his life-story.

And he was honest to God hoping the blonde would do the same.

Staring rather shockingly at the redhead, Deidara wasn't sure how to take it. Yes, he was incredibly happy that Sasori had finally opened up, and yes, you could even say he was relieved he finally did, but he definitely wasn't expecting a story quite like that.

He had thought the puppeteer had gotten those piercings just for the hell of it.

No…he had gotten them to prove a point.

Not only to others, but to himself, also.

Letting his gaze fall upon the now half-empty bottle of golden liquid, he shot his hand out and took it from the older male, pausing a moment before tipping the mouth towards his lips.

The burning sensation on his throat brought good, and very bad, memories.

Memories that he was finally going to share.

He slowly set the bottle down, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and began:

"The story as to why I even have those pills invites a whole conversation about my past, un. I was born into a family of wealth, especially on my mom's side. Unfortunately, my mother wasn't too fond of her privileged past, and chose to ignore them as much as she could, un. But we lived comfortably, my parents and I. We never had to move, was never fired from a job…we lived…well, un. I've grown up in the suburbs my entire life. Throughout middle school and high school, I was the person that everyone knew, un. You could say I was even popular.

I was the one to bring the parties alive and I was the only one people listened to when a party needed to be killed, un. I was a good student as well; making straight A's most of the time and making the Honor Roll each semester in high school, un. Everything was going perfect until my father suddenly changed his entire outlook on my future."

To emphasize the seriousness of it, he took a near chug of the whiskey, his old habits trying to break through the walls he had built up around them.

"My father slowly became obsessed with my future, in the hopes of making sure I was successful, un. By doing so, he forced school down my throat. Didn't allow me to try out for any sports, didn't allow me to join any clubs; it was just school, school, and more school, un. By the time I was a junior, all I was taking was AP classes, and once I became a senior, even when I was done with normal high school, I was taking about four night classes a week at the community college. One could easily see that the stress that was being placed on me would eventually get me to crack, un. And I cracked hard."

Another long chug.

"The stress my father put on me carried over into my actual college years. I was constantly stressed and was getting, at most, four hours of sleep a night, un. So…I did what every person did when stressed; I drank. A lot, un. Every Friday and Saturday night, I could be found drunk or passed out at a party. I was hooking up with Sorority girls, taking shots until I blacked out, I was a mess, un. Yet, I somehow maintained high grades and made the Dean's List every semester and made Honor's each year.

But my drinking grew worse, un. I slowly started drinking every night, even when I was supposed to be studying. I would even bring a water bottle full of vodka with me to class in order to keep me awake long enough to take notes, un. I knew that wasn't the brightest decision, but I did it anyways. I drank and I drank and I drank, un. And with all that drinking, I was eventually going to hit rock bottom, which happened at the big graduation party at the end of my senior year. I had been accepted into Grad School, was on my way in life, so I wanted to party, un.

That night, I drank enough to make over 20 people drunk. I was drinking so much, from hard liquor, to beer, to whiskey, to margaritas, un. But I didn't care; I was past drunk and loving it. I remember taking one more shot of straight vodka when the world suddenly blacked out, un. I woke up to find myself in a hospital bed with my stomach feeling like it had been blown up and then sucked dry. My parents were there, along with a doctor who told me I had died from alcohol poisoning, but they were able to revive me, un."

"You…died?" shock rang clear as day in the older male's voice. Deidara nodded his head in approval. "I was told I was dead for a solid 20 minutes, un. But I don't remember seeing a bright light or feeling a warmth. I just felt heavy and only saw black, un. Once I recovered from my incident, I was immediately taken to a rehabilitation facility to help with my addiction to alcohol. I was embarrassed, un; I was a good student turned alcoholic. I never even called Hidan to tell him what happened, un. The only people who know about it, to this day, are my family. And now you."

Another long swig.

"As part of my treatment plan, I was given Disulfiram, un. I would assume you read up on it, so I won't go into great detail other than telling you it is a bitch. Not even after ten minutes of taking it, if you drink alcohol, it will feel like you have the worst hangover on the planet, un. When I first started taking it, I was still drinking alcohol, but I would find myself quickly running to the bathroom and throwing it back up not five minutes later and grabbing Ibuprofen because it felt like someone was banging on my head with a hammer. The whole point of that pill is to get you to stop drinking, which it did for me. But because of all this treatment, I barely saw anyone, un. And because of that, I slowly became depressed.

"My parents, especially my dad, were furious at me for even committing such a horrible act on myself, un. My best friend hadn't a clue as to what had happened to me. I was all alone, un. I fell hard into serious depression and, even with taking the Disulfiram, I was still drinking, which was a depressant. And with the mix of the psychological depression, it was a lethal combination, un."

He finished off the whiskey and set the bottle down with a loud clang.

"I felt I was losing control of my life, so I did what I could do to bring control back: I began cutting myself. Only tiny cuts here and there on the inside of my legs and arms, un. I did it in places where no one would see. I didn't want anyone to see, un. I was embarrassed that I had dropped so low when I was meant for the high road. The only reason my cutting was revealed was because my treatment doctor caught sight of them at a check-in, un. Almost immediately, they took me to see a psychologist, and after a while of interviewing and scanning, declared that I was severely depressed. So, I was prescribed Remeron to help treat the depression, along with a higher dosage of Disulfiram, un. Now, I don't have to take a Disulfiram every day, but I do with the Remeron, since I'm still dealing with depression. And now you know my life story, un."

Deidara looked up to see Sasori staring wide-eyed at him. He couldn't help it, but a tiny smirk erupted on his face. "You surprised, un?"

"Surprised?! W-what else do you think I'm supposed to be?!" the redhead exclaimed, flustered. "I mean, you fucking died Deidara and I'm just now finding this out?!"

"It's not something I like to talk about, un!" the blonde yelled back, feeling his head slightly rock from the whiskey. He shook his head.

But he wanted more to drink.

He sighed, holding up the empty bottle. "You got anymore bott-?"

"I guess I have one last thing to say, then," Sasori suddenly interjected. He fidgeted in his chair and the younger male noted that he seemed nervous. He quirked an eyebrow. "What is it, un?"

"Promise you won't look at me differently after I tell you."

"Danna, what the hell are you talking about, un?"

"Do you promise?"

"I…I promise, un."

"Alright," the older male heaved a deep sigh, ran his hands over his thighs, and started. "In high school, some of the words people would say to me were 'fag', 'queer', and 'flamer'."

"W-why would they-?"

"It's because I'm gay," Sasori gazed up with his amber eyes to a pair of unblinking blue ones.

"What, un?"

"I'm gay, Deidara," he said, matter-of-factly.

Why was he making that such a big deal?

Hell, his best friend was gay!

"Okay, but I don't see why you would worry about whether I would-"

"And I'm in love."

Deidara's eyebrows scrunched together.

If he was gay…who was he in love with?

Was it someone at his work?

Was it Pein?

Was it Itachi?

Who the hell could he possibly be in love-?

"With you."

…Oh shit.

If Sasori had wanted to break the ice, he was definitely swimming in the water now.

Or drowning, depending on where the whole situation went.

"With you."

He was definitely expecting the reaction he was getting: mouth slightly open in shock, eyes wide, with not a word drifting past those damn kissable lips.

So, he continued.

"I've been in love with you for the past two weeks. And I know that may seem crazy, because we really have only lived together for the past month and a half now, but I'll admit it when I say that I have been attracted to you since the first day we accidentally ran into each other in the café. You never left my mind after that."

Hesitantly looking over to see the blonde still giving the same expression, Sasori felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

Why the hell had he said anything?!

Congratulations, you just ruined everything, dumbass.

Shaking his head as tears began to form in his eyes, he stuffed his face in his hands. "God dammit, this was not how I planned on telling you. Please, please, Deidara, don't turn and run away, please don't-"

"Danna, un."

Hearing the eerily calm voice, he whipped his head up to find two more bottles of unopened Jacks in his face, a contentedly smiling blonde standing above him.

"Let's have ourselves some drinks."

By the time the last bottle had been finished, both males were far past the point of being drunk. Deidara couldn't stop giggling at every sound that came out of his mouth, while Sasori just continued to stare at him with a bemused expression. Noticing that, the blonde blushed slightly. "Stop staring at me, Danna, un."

"Am I not allowed to?"

"Well why are you, un?"

"You're acting like an idiot," the older male laughed. He threw his head back and cackled as the younger male tried standing, but was too drunk, so he immediately tumbled back into the chair. Regaining his composure, the redhead smiled. "I take it you didn't take a Disulfiram today?"

"Wasn't expecting to get drunk tonight, un," the blonde explained, squinting at the Jack bottle as if trying to read the script on the black paper. "It's been so long since I've had a drink."

"Have you missed it?"

"Not really, un," he placed the bottle on the countertop, next to the other two empty ones. "It feels weird not to be in control as much."

"I know the feeling. It's been forever since I've been this drunk."

"Hey Danna, un?"

"Yes?"

"Have you enjoyed your birthday, un?"

"Of course, brat. Why are you asking?"

"Just wondering, un."

"Okay."

"Hey Danna, un?"

"What?"

"Have you enjoyed your birthday, un?"

"You've already asked me that."

"Oh…hey Danna, un?"

"What?!"

What made you fall in love with me?"

"Why are you asking?" slightly surprised. Sasori knew he had multiple reasons why he had fallen in love with Deidara, but he believed the brat was too far drunk to actually give a damn what he said.

So he decided to have a little fun with it.

He gave the blonde a seductive smirk. "You interested in finding out?"

Beginning to laugh at the red flush invading Deidara's cheeks, he watched with an amused gaze as the latter tried to comeback. "N-no I'm not interested in finding out, Sasori no Danna, un! I was just curious, is all and you-"

In his little fit of rage and embarrassment, the sculptor had swung his left arm out wide, barely comprehending that he had hit the empty bottles of whiskey until they began falling towards the ground.

Even in their drunken states, both males were quick to chase after them, diving at the same time in an effort to catch the bottles before they broke. In a matter of seconds, the two were on the wooden floor, Sasori gripping two, Deidara holding one, both staring at them.

"I-I'm sorry, Danna, un."

"Brat, you need to be careful."

They looked up at each other at the same time.

And both paused before they could even start their next sentences.

Their faces were close…so incredibly close.

Sasori gazed into those familiar blue eyes, noticing the white and purple specs within. His heart was hammering against his chest, whether it was from the alcohol or the closeness of his roommate, he couldn't tell.

"U-Uh…"

Questioning.

Sasori let his mind go blank.

"U-um…"

Nervousness.

He let his body and heart take control.

"D…"

Don't say it.

He placed the bottles gently on the ground.

"Dan…"

Don't say it.

He gingerly cupped the younger male's face.

They stared at each other for a few more seconds.

Don't say it.

"Un…"

Do. Not. Say. It.

"Danna~?"

Pleading.

He closed his eyes and leaned forward, his lips coming into contact.

The kiss started as soft; it wasn't needy, it wasn't pushing.

It was exploring…waiting…anticipating.

And then it suddenly grew fiercer, became deeper. As a quiet moan slipped from the younger male's throat, Sasori took the opportunity and slipped his tongue into the hot mouth, tasting the sweet flavor. Deidara let another moan slip through his lips and into the air, sounding like music to the older male's ears. The redhead growled low in his throat at the sensation of his tongue piercing clicking against the other's perfect white teeth, pulling the blonde closer as the latter gave yet another shuddering moan.

Damn the brat was loud.

But God were those moans a turn on.

Thinking that, he placed his tongue against the other's, massaging it gently, hoping the latter would understand. As soon as the wet appendage met his own, he groaned an approval.

Tongues clashed in a battle of dominance, hands ached to touch but kept to holding onto hair.

Electric sparks were running through Sasori's veins, speeding up the racing of his heart. It pounded painfully against his chest, coursing blood through his body and to certain regions down below which were getting excited by the now growing in volume delectable sounds escaping the younger male.

He couldn't believe it.

He was finally kissing the brat that he had fallen in love with.

And he was kissing him back!

In an effort to win, he gripped the golden locks in his hands hard, pulling roughly on the follicles until Deidara gave a slight cry of semi-pain. After that, the blonde submitted.

But he definitely did something that surprised Sasori.

Before he knew it, the sculptor was gripping the back of his neck tightly and yanked him forward, the forcing sending the former flying back. Flying until his back slammed against the cold, wooden floor, pulling the redhead down for another tongue-clashing kiss.

"D-Danna…ah…m-more," he mewled softly in between breaths. Sasori felt the blonde's hands travel down to his jeans, hooking his fingers through the belt loops and yanking them towards the floor, causing their groins to crash together in ungodly friction.

The puppeteer gave a shuttering groan at the sensation of his now fully-hard erection pressed against the other's and – wait.

Sasori pulled away from the kiss.

Deidara…was hard.

He was hard…and for him.

He was about to start the process of moving, but the sight below him made him stop.

Somehow the younger male's hair tie had come undone. And in the process of flying onto the ground, his hair had flowed out in all directions. Now, he laid underneath the older male, a giant, golden halo surrounding his face. He gazed up at Sasori with a half-lidded gaze, his eyes a near indigo.

Just like his dream.

But in looking closer, the redhead could tell that there was a haziness as well.

Fuck…he had nearly forgotten that they were both drunk.

He had gotten too caught up in the moment.

"Danna, un? Why'd you stop?" Deidara wrapped his arms around the puppeteer's neck, pulling him down with feather light kisses to the lips. Without warning, he began moving his hips, rocking their erections together. "See how hard I make Sasori no Danna?"

"Gh…b-brat you're way too drunk," feeling that delicious friction against his hard member sent pools of heat to his lower abdomen, and it took all of Sasori's will power not to strip them both naked right then and there.

But who knew the brat was such a seductive talker?

"Hm…I'm not drunk, Danna, un," even with saying that, he hiccupped once and giggled slightly, picking up the speed of the rocking. Fighting a losing battle, the redhead noted that a dark pink flush was invading the younger male's cheeks.

And it wasn't a desire-filled blush either.

Sasori sighed.

Shit…

"Brat, you're drunk and I'm taking you to bed," he said, matter-of-factly, beginning to pull away.

"But I'm not drunk, un."

"Yes, you are."

"But Dannaaaaa-" not wanting to hear anymore protesting, Sasori was quick to get them to their feet and start to move over to the stairs, both stumbling as they did so.

After a few minutes of struggling, they reached the second floor. Deidara pulled away and quickly walked over to the door that led to Sasori's room.

"Brat, that's not-"

The blonde walked in.

"Your room."

Following him, the redhead walked over the threshold to find the younger male stripping out of his clothes.

"W-what are you doing, Deidara?!"

Wait…was he getting flustered?

Why was he getting flustered at the idea of having sex with Deidara?

He'd dreamt about it multiple times already while feeling confident in doing so.

So why was he suddenly nervous?

"I only sleep in my boxers, un," the sculptor explained, shimmying out of his pants, revealing his blue boxers as well as a mini tent. Noticing that, the puppeteer smirked. "How are you gonna take care of that, brat?"

The latter looked down at himself, examined the situation, and then sighed. "I'm not that horny so it'll go down on its own, un."

Without another word, he plopped stomach-first onto the bed and laid there, looking at Sasori while patting the empty space next to him. "I'm tired, un. Come to bed."

Was the brat seriously asking that?

Who was this person and what had happened to the normal, straight Deidara he knew so well?!

Oh right…the alcohol.

He knew it made people more honest and truthful, but he seriously doubted it turned people gay.

He shook his head. "You can have my bed. I'll sleep on the floor."

"No, un. Danna will sleep in this bed…because it's his," Deidara emphasized a few words by grinding his index finger into the duvet-covered mattress. He suddenly leaned sideways but straightened his posture before leaning sideways yet again.

Yep…he was close.

"You sure you want me to join you, brat?" Sasori smirked at the blonde's obvious signs of grogginess. The younger male nodded his head vigorously while still battling the ongoing waves of sleepiness. "I'm positive, un! This is Danna's bed so he gets the right to sleep…in his own…bed…"

And with that, his upper body finally fell against the bed, and quiet snores erupted shortly after, signaling that he was already passed out.

Shaking his head, Sasori gave a tiny chuckle.

You're impossible, brat.

Still, the redhead found himself stripping down to his own boxers and gently climbed onto the bed, settling down about a foot away from the blonde.

Yet even his sleep, he must've felt the older male's presence, because he immediately wormed his way over and wrapped his arms around the pale, toned waist, nuzzling his face into the neck. "So warm, un."

And Sasori could say this:

He wasn't horny…or lusting…or any other word to describe someone who's ready to have sex.

He was elated…happy…overjoyed.

He was holding the sleeping form of the man he had fallen in love with.

Who wouldn't want that?

He felt lips press into the hollow base of this throat. "Happy Birthday, Sasori no Danna, un."

Sasori smiled.

"Yep," he gazed lovingly down at the snoring angel lying against him, "Happy Birthday to me."