Olivia stood in the doorway as she sees the man who she was hopelessly in love with for the past 14 years.
"Liv." Elliot said her nickname. Did he expect her to walk in there like nothing happened?
She just stared at him. She was either pissed or shocked, Elliot couldn't tell. "Don't call me that. You lost that right the day you walked out on me and didn't even bother to call. Elliot, I called you for days, weeks, finally after 4 months I gave up. One day I called you, the next your phone number was changed. You didn't want anything to do with me."
"I wanted to. I was going through a rough time. I finally got myself together, and I needed to come back. Li-Olivia. Please forgive me." He pleaded. She saw how much he wanted to come back in his deep blue eyes.
She tried to tell herself that she needed to be mad at him. Olivia had tears in her eyes. "What do you expect? You think you can come back here and have me run into your arms and tell you everything is okay? I have news Stabler, I was perfectly fine without you. I was in a great relationship with Brian, I was finally getting back to normal. I am finally recovering from Lewis. He's in prison and I feel safe." She whispers. "I can finally sleep at night, not having to worry if he is going to be hovering over me when I wake up."
"Please, don't say that. I need you. I thought about you everyday, all day. I wrote you hundreds of emails, thousands of texts, dialed your number, but never pressed send. I just never had the balls to send them. Every night I prayed that somehow I would get led back to you. That I would be able to see those beautiful brown eyes one more time. Even if you hate me, I still have to know you're okay." He looked her in the eyes, he had tears in them himself.
"Olivia, I need you in my life. When I was gone, I was in such a dark place." Elliot whispered tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I got help. Thats why I couldn't call. My therapist said it would be best if I did my full treatment before contacting you. But you have to believe that I wanted to be with you every second of every day. You're all I thought about. Not Kathy, sure my kids, but you Liv."
"El, I'm so sorry.." Olivia said with tears in her eyes. She hugged Elliot. For the second time since she knew him, she allowed this simple thing happen. A hug, people give hugs all the time. It was different for them. The one other time when she saved Kathy and his youngest son, Eli after they were in a car accident on the way to her doctors appointment.
Cragen nodded at Elliot showing that he was heading out for the night. Elliot just held Olivia as he left. They stood there holding each other for a while, it felt like forever, but neither of them minded because they liked it.
He held her close, and thought about how she could change his life. "El. Who knows you're back?" Olivia asked as they pulled away and wiped away her tears.
"Just you, Cragen, Cassidy, and the guys. Cassidy didn't he tell you? I just saw him about an hour ago when he was picking up food." Elliot said confused.
"No? Uh we broke up." Olivia looked at the ground, trying to hold back her tears. " He came home and said he saw someone that he hasn't seen if over a decade and it made him rethink our relationship."
"Liv, I'm so sorry." Elliot said. "I saw him there, and he just was happy. He was excited to get home to you..."
"He's gone. I managed to chase him away too. When you were gone, he came back into my life. He was there for me when I needed him most. I chased him away, I know how too. I'm not lovable, I can't love anyone. I am so broken and beat down El. I am turning into my mother. I was almost... raped."
"Liv, stop talking like that. You are nothing like her. Brian is an idiot for leaving you, but I don't think he left for the reason that you're thinking he did." Elliot said putting the pieces together.
"What'd you mean?" Olivia asked.
"He knew that when I came back, and you found out that you would be the same. You would dump him and we would be something." Elliot said.
"Elliot, I don't understand." Olivia said very confused. Did he say so they could be something? Was her best friend implying that one day, maybe they would be together?
"He probably thought that when I came back, we'd go back to being how we were, as close as we were." Elliot explains.
"Oh. Uh, d-do you wanna get out of here? I mean do you-you, shit, do you wanna hang out or something?" Olivia stumbles.
Elliot chuckles at her nervousness. "You should probably get home. It late. Almost 7:00."
"Trying to get rid of me already Stabler? Alright." Olivia smiles.
"I'm just kidding, but I have a question." Elliot asks. She nods her head and bites her lip waiting for him to ask. "How much of it did you hear?"
Olivia smiled at him. "Nothing really. Just that you wanted to come back." Olivia looked in his eyes, trying to read him.
"Oh thats good." Elliot smiled.
"Why?" Olivia asked with a smirk playing on her lips.
"No reason." Elliot smiled and they walked out of the precinct.
They went up to Olivia's apartment, Elliot had been in here so many times before. Why was this different? He just stood there while she heated up the food. "You want a beer?" Olivia asked.
"Yeah sounds good." Elliot said as he took in the living room, like he has for the past 12 years. "Liv your apartment looks the same as it did since the last time I was here."
"Well, I never liked change. So wanna tell me why you came back?" Olivia asked sitting next to him.
"Liv, Kathy left me. She left about 9 months ago, after I found out that Eli wasn't mine. Yeah he isn't mine. When I found out she was pregnant, I asked her if it was mine. She looked me in the eyes and told me it was. How could she lie to me like that? After she left she took the kids and went to live with her boyfriend in North Dakota. I bought an apartment on the Upper East Side about 4 blocks from here. After that all happened, I did my therapy sessions. " Elliot looked up at Olivia.
"You lived 4 blocks from me for the past 9 months? El!" Olivia exclaimed.
"Liv I know. I saw you a lot." Elliot said.
"That could be borderline stalker El." Olivia teased.
"I just had to know you're safe. I really care about you.." Elliot looked her in the eyes and smiled.
"I care about you too. Elliot, I just wanna tell you. It's going to take time for me to trust you like I did before." Olivia looked up at him.
"I know it will. I'm willing to wait as long as it takes." Elliot said. I love you. He thought as she smiled up at him.
"What?" She asks.
"I am just thinking how lucky I am to have you with me right now. I never thought that you would be here with me. I thought I lost you forever." Elliot said.
"You'll never lose me." Olivia smiled. "How long,- how long were your sessions?"
"Monday-Friday, from 2-4. I would talk about you. Everything led back to you." Elliot said.
Olivia nodded her head, "So you seeing me, didn't help with your recovery."
"No, it made it easier. Just seeing you would make my day better, knowing you were okay." Elliot smiled.
Olivia smiled back at him. They sat in silence for a few minutes and Olivia spoke up, "I'm gonna go to bed." Olivia said. She started walking back to her room. She looked back at him and he was smiling at her. She loved him, she did. But what happens if he would leave again. She wouldn't be able to bear it.
"Night. I'll see you tomorrow." Elliot said walking towards the door.
Olivia ran to him and grabbed his arm. " Stay." She smiles.
Elliot raises an eyebrow. "Okay. I got couch." Elliot smiled as he grabbed the pillows and blankets from the hall closet.
Olivia nodded and went back into her room.
Elliot laid awake thinking about how much he had missed her. He knew it was going to take some time before she could trust him again.