Chapter 12

Lindsay sat on her bed on Monday night, wondering who she should call.

She didn't even allow herself to think about her dates yesterday- practically as soon as she got home from her time with Nick (while she was still awake), she started in on her calculus review. She was able get enough done to relax by dinnertime, and was too tired to do anything else anyway. Her parents shot her some suspicious looks- probably wondering why she was watching TV with them at 7 o'clock with her eyes half-open- but she was too exhausted to care. She was passed out by eight and woke up early the next morning, in time to put in a couple more hours before her test. One might think that she would have been too confused to concentrate on math- and she was confused (and guilty, and yet still desperately wanting to revel in the good parts of her dates), but she was able to make the conscious albeit extremely difficult decision to postpone even allowing that stuff to enter her mind until after her exam, when she knew it could.

And it was a good thing she did, because after walking out of her exam, miraculously, she felt that she did really well- perhaps even 'A' range. Her approach of limiting contact with Nick and Barry mostly to weekends seemed to be paying off, and it was a strategy Lindsay intended to stick to until after her final in a couple of weeks.

But now her exam was over, and though she worked at A1 this afternoon, it was slow, so today was really the first day she was able to reflect on her dates with Barry and Nick. After pondering it over for several hours while mindlessly stocking merchandise and occasionally waiting on customers, Lindsay was able to draw the following conclusion:

She had no fucking idea what to conclude.

If it were a fight between Barry and Nick, the first round would be a draw. If it were a race, they would be in a dead heat.

Her plan of going out on two dates with two guys in two nights had completely backfired. She thought that after this first round of dates she would have a much better idea of who she wanted to see again. But in truth, she wanted to see them both again equally, and now that she had a date invested in each of them the idea of breaking it off with the other one was now even less appealing than before (why couldn't she just have said no to one of them to begin with?). And now she suspected that if she continued to go on dates with both of them, it would only get harder to end it with one. A never-ending cycle.

She just needed to make a damn decision already, and if she was going to be honest with herself, she needed to compare them more closely.

In terms of date planning and preparation, she had to give the edge to Nick. Mini-golf and ice cream was a perfectly acceptable first-date choice for teenagers in this town, but it was pretty standard, nothing special. Nick's idea was more unique, and he clearly put some planning into it, with the midnight snack picnic, candles, etc. And sure, a lot of people went to the lake, but seeing the sun come up while kissing Nick was pretty spectacular. He was definitely the sweeter and more romantic of the two.

She also had to admit that she was a little more attracted to Nick physically, especially with his newfound dedication to basketball. Barry was a good-looking guy who she was physically attracted to as well, but Lindsay guessed that Barry's most strenuous college activity was probably "beer curls".

But- and Lindsay hated to admit this, even to herself- despite Nick's newfound sobriety and study efforts towards the end of the semester, it hadn't really changed his intellectual prowess or capabilities. After all of the initial life-changing news had been discussed (summer job, basketball league, etc.), he didn't have all that much to say. Their conversation was sustained throughout their date mainly by her asking a lot of questions that he answered. Sure, they had some pretty good talks, she supposed, but no real discussions, no debates. Nick wasn't particularly interested in religion or politics or current affairs or the state of the economy, he didn't seem to express any interest in attending college, he didn't read for fun, and he still hated math.

Barry had some strikes against him- the fact that he was in college and wouldn't be staying in Chippewa past the summer was the obvious one, and there were numerous romantic pitfalls that were associated with that, of course- but Lindsay found him so mentally stimulating that her first inclination was to ignore the rest of it. They might not have gone on that exciting a date, but they didn't need to- the best part of their date was their conversation (and the kiss, of course) - not the setting. But Lindsay didn't want to overlook those strikes, either- what if he wanted to date around when he left for school (and really, why wouldn't he)? Could Lindsay really be okay with that? Especially if she had sacrificed seeing Nick in the meantime?

The more Lindsay thought about it, the more confused she got.

Even comparing the flowers doesn't help, Lindsay thought, as her eyes moved from Barry's colorful bouquet to Nick's single red rose (she had to dig a glass out from the kitchen to have something to put it in, but it was critical to her to keep them separate). Cruelly, looking at the vibrant flowers that Barry got her now only reminded her of the sunrise- that she shared with Nick. She sighed.

She needed to solicit the advice of a third party. Her parents weren't in bed yet, so it was too early to call Kim, but she realized that she had an untapped resource right next door. Sam had just gotten back from either Neal or Bill's place and was hanging out in his room. Lindsay decided to pay him a little sisterly visit.

"Hey Sam," she greeted him as she knocked on his bedroom door. He looked at her in surprise and paused his video game. They hadn't hung out much this summer, not with her work schedule and course load. And of course, the fact that he wasn't grounded and spent a lot of evenings out with Neal and Bill.

"Hey, Lindsay," Sam replied. "Um- what's going on?"

In other words, what are you doing in my room? Lindsay interpreted. She decided to dive right in. She knew Sam wouldn't likely have a lot to say about Nick, but he might have something to say about Barry. "Has, um, Neal said anything to you about Barry since he came home for the summer?" Lindsay wondered aloud.

Sam looked at her until she couldn't help but blush a bit. Then he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I know all about it," he replied, a little testily. "But I don't want to. I don't want to get in trouble, too, you know."

She shushed him and looked at him admonishingly as she shut the door behind her- no need for her parents to be in earshot of this. "Wait, so you know that Barry and I went out the other night?" she whispered.

Sam nodded. "Um, yeah. It's not exactly a secret in the Schweiber house. I was over there today. Barry wasn't there, but Neal said that he couldn't shut up about you. I guess he had a good time on your date."

Interesting, Lindsay thought. Not that she didn't know this already. But it was a lot more fun to hear it from an outside source. She smiled.

Lindsay wondered briefly how Neal was taking it- Neal had no qualms about letting Lindsay know what a huge crush he had on her. Then again, if Barry liked her as long as he said he did, than it was probably Neal who was influenced by Barry, not the other way around.

"So, um, do you see Barry there a lot?" Lindsay hedged. She couldn't believe that she was jealous of her younger brother. But this lack of freedom was really starting to get to her.

Sam shrugged. "Once in a while, I guess. I know he works for Dr. Schweiber doing something at his office, so he's gone during the day a lot."

Lindsay nodded. Probably his summer job, the temporary lawn-mowing, landscape-type stuff that he had mentioned. "So- um- this might sound like a weird question to ask, but- do- do you like Barry? I mean, um- do you think I should date him?"

Sam shrugged again. "Sure, I guess. I mean, he's a lot older than you. But he seems like a really good guy," he said sincerely.

Lindsay suppressed a chuckle. Of course Sam would like him- she remembered Sam telling her that Barry had called him a "stud". Pretty simple- that was going to score points with her brother.

So, that was one vote for Barry. Though it wasn't a vote against Nick, per se. Hmmmm.

"Okay, well, I just wanted your opinion. Thanks," she told him, before adding, "Promise you're not going to tell mom and dad, right?"

Sam hesitated a moment before nodding. "I promise."

She left it at that, told Sam good-night. Well, Sam didn't do much but reaffirm her opinion that she should go out with Barry again. But what about Nick?

Lindsay waited until her usual 10:45 p.m. time to call Kim. Kim would be blunt about whether or not she was really ready to re-date Nick Andopolis. Had he sufficiently changed since the last time they were together, or would being with him just be a repeat of what happened earlier in the year? She wasn't just concerned for her sake; she was concerned for Nick's. The last thing that she wanted to do was hurt him. Again.

Kim picked up the phone right away, thankfully saving Lindsay from being chewed out from Mrs. Kelly, but this time, Daniel was there, too. I'm going to have to be a little more careful with my phone calls, Lindsay thought, if I can't count on Kim to be at home anymore. She didn't want to get Kim in trouble.

"So, what do you think I should do?" Lindsay asked desperately from the floor of the kitchen pantry. In the last several minutes, she had laid it out for Kim, told her how much fun she had on both dates- and amazingly, Kim had listened patiently, even with her boyfriend in the same room. But Lindsay should have known that Kim had several conflicts of interest. She just couldn't quite be objective.

"You have to date Nick, Lindsay, forget about that Barry loser," Kim said harshly, laughing as Daniel cracked some sort of probably mean joke in the background. "Look, Nick hangs out with us, and he's really good friends with Daniel here. What do you expect us to say? Besides, we can't take the weepy, angry Nick that would come out if you turned him down now. God knows how he would even handle it sober."

Lindsay laughed. For a moment.

But just a moment- her expression quickly changed from amusement to utter horror when the pantry door was suddenly yanked open with a jolt and the harsh overhead kitchen light flooded the interior. Her mom was standing there glaring at Lindsay with a murderous look on her face. Lindsay knew right then and there that she was in even more trouble.

Well, at least Lindsay's didn't have to make a decision about whether to call Nick or Barry tonight. She wouldn't be calling either of them.