HELLO, EVERYBODY! Welcome to the family, new followers! :3 Okay, so last chapter was a whirlwind of different surprises and your reviews were definitely what I was expecting! Now with THIS chapter...I must put an author's note: From here on out, the story delves into a serious light, and not fun serious. I'm warning anyone out there that if you continue reading, it will be emotional. From here on out, the story goes into realistic situations. If you read these upcoming chapters and have had experiences like these, know you're not alone. These chapters, I was only able to write them because, unfortunately, I've been there. Sorry if I'm getting too personal for anyone's liking, but this is why this author's note is going to be a little longer than most. I wanted to forewarn everyone before they started reading. I love you all, and I sincerely hope you enjoy Chapter 21. And as always, Rate and Review :)

Deidara was the first to wake up the next morning.

The sun wasn't there when he opened his eyes.

The sky was covered in light grey clouds clear across the horizon.

And fat clumps of snow were falling to the ground in endless sheets.

He went to sit up when he felt a restraint around his waist. He gazed down and saw the pale arm draped across him, and he turned his head to find Sasori lying on his stomach. His face was towards him, features calm and without creases from worry or stress.

He looked beautiful.

Smiling warmly, Deidara gently took his arm off and set it on the bed, expertly disentangling himself from the other's body, his skin not enjoying the sudden lack of warmth. As he sat up, he became acutely aware of a dull pain in his lower half, starting from his butt and going all the way into his feet.

He didn't expect anything less, though.

He and Sasori not only had done it once last night.

Not twice.

Not even three times.

No…they had done it from the time they had started up until the sky began turning light from dawn, when their bodies had finally and totally given out from exhaustion.

And he didn't regret any second of it.

When they had gotten back from the dinner, he hadn't been sure what was going to happen. He had been angry, upset, jealous, and mad, with all those emotions being projected at his roommate. When Sasori had continued asking him, being his usual persistent self, he had just…exploded, in every sense of the word.

His feelings, his emotions, everything, had just come pouring out of a him a mile a minute, and when he had finally become aware of what he was doing, he was on the redhead's lap and crying into his shoulder.

After that…everything had been blank.

He had tuned back into reality, but by that time, he was already naked and under Sasori, moaning and gasping as his body was driven towards desire.

And the realization that had come with that astounded him.

He loved Sasori.

Loved and was in love with him.

That's why he had been so jealous at the dinner, why he always enjoyed being with him in the same room, why his heart would pound when he would laugh at his utterly unfunny jokes.

Because he loved his pierced and weird roommate.

He let his face fall into his hands.

Now true reality was setting in.

The deadline for the contract signing was coming up, and he still hadn't made a decision.

And with last night hanging over his head…it made the decision all the more harder to make.

Sighing, he stood up and proceeded to walk around the room and find his clothes, randomly twitching every once in a when he felt a jolt of pain shoot through his torso.

Damn Sasori with his big ass fucking cock.

The first time had been gentle, not at all rough.

But by the time the last one had come around, scratch marks and bruises lined his stomach and legs as the redhead pounded into him mercilessly, repeating his name over and over again until he released inside him for the final time, thrusting for a few more measly seconds before he had finally collapsed on top of him. He had followed suit shortly after, too exhausted to move.

The different positions, the different sounds, the different everything; it had all been so incredibly different and new and amazing, new sensations and reactions.

Being on top, he had always made others feel what he had felt last night. He had always made the other moan, gasp, and beg. He had always been the one to feel the other around him, the tight heat sucking him in each time, driving his mind wild.

He had never thought that he would bottom in a million years.

Yet with Sasori, being the receiver had almost come naturally.

His body, despite his mind having not knowing what to do, had reacted and moved with such fluidity, one would think he had done it with a guy before!

That realization made Deidara stop in his tracks, hand outstretched towards the bedroom door.

He had done it…he had had sex with a guy.

Despite his never-ending argument with himself that he wasn't gay…

…He had done the ultimate deed and had gone and had sex with a guy.

But it had felt wonderful, intoxicating, and addicting.

He even had to admit he had felt more when doing it with Sasori then he had ever felt when doing it with a girl.

To receive pleasure…desire…lust…bliss…ecstasy from someone else…it opened one up to a world they had never seen and experienced before.

And like the world's finest, most decadent chocolate, one taste wasn't enough to fulfill one's satisfaction.

Deidara's heart, body, and mind were addicted to Sasori now.

They craved only his touch, his voice, his everything.

They didn't want anything, or anyone, else.

Only Sasori.

Heaving another deep sigh, he gazed back once more at the still quietly snoring redhead and proceeded into the hallway, trudging to his room to quickly clean himself off and throw on some clothes.

He needed to take a walk.

A walk to collect his thoughts and sift through all the options that were available for him at the current moment.

First, he would talk to Hidan.

Tell him everything…everything about Sasori, even about last night.

It wasn't that he was confused…he just needed answers, or at least explanations, to what he was feeling.

Second…figure out a way to keep Sasori's job even with the contract going through.

After changing, he quickly made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen, eyeing his black bag with scorn. He opened the flap and extracted the manila folder with CONFIDENTIAL written in the top left corner.

Knowing what was inside scared him.

It worried him to no end.

He couldn't mess anything up from here on out.

If he did…

He felt his body shiver.

He didn't really feel like thinking of the consequences.

Taking his daily dosage of Remeron, he put the folder back in his bag and closed it, reaching for his black winter jacket and scarf, throwing them on and exiting the penthouse.

None too observant of the fact that the bag had fallen over from atop of the counter, spilling its contents across the floor.

It was a cold bed that awoke Sasori.

In his sleep, his arm, which had been draped across a toned waist, reached over into empty space and felt cool material.

He opened his eyes, not surprised to find the area next to him devoid of a sleeping person. Judging by the coolness of the sheets, Deidara had been gone for a while now.

He sat up slowly, gazing out the windows and into the city. Snow was falling heavily outside, the sky a light grey shade as white clumps fell to the ground.

Where did the brat go?

Brat…

Could he even really call Deidara that anymore?

What with everything that had happened last night?
He had to admit he hadn't been expecting what had happened to have happened. He hadn't expected Deidara to kiss him so suddenly, hadn't expected him to confess his fears of falling for him, certainly hadn't expected them to have sex, and he certainly hadn't expected him to say "I love you."

I love you.

He smiled warmly, feeling a faint blush paint his cheeks.

Deidara loved him.

Really loved him.

It had made last night seem all the more amazing and real.

Sasori had finally been able to touch and hold the blonde like how he had wanted to for a while.

Had finally been able to hear his voice, low and husky, call out for him while his body racked with pleasure.

His body…God his body.

It had been so soft under his mouth, tongue, and hands, his skin like silk.

Of course…Sasori had to admit that he had only been too aware of the small scars etching the other's inner thighs.

They had been incredibly faint, but still noticeable enough to grab his attention.

He knew Deidara had told him about doing that, but having seen it firsthand…

It had solidified the whole confession.

Sighing, his mind began to remember everything from last night.

Remembering the tight heat of his roommate around him, the loud moans and hitched gasps as he had touched sensitive areas, and the whispering of his name against swollen lips.

He wasn't sure what was going to happen from here on out.

Deidara loved him.

Great; he couldn't be happier.

But where had he gone off to?

Scanning the room, he noticed the other's clothes were gone, but a little note laid on one of the dressers near the bedroom door.

Throwing the covers off, he strode over to it and picked up the piece of paper, reading the words:

Sasori,

I've gone out for a walk. I should be back soon.

Love,

Deidara

So a walk.

Alright, that was fine with him.

Picking up his clothes, he changed into a new pair of boxers and lounge pants and proceeded into the bathroom to put back in the piercings he had had to take out for the dinner and clean himself off.

After that, he exited the room and down the stairs, straight into the kitchen.

He blinked.

On the floor was Deidara's familiar black bag, its contents spilled all over the floor, from papers and folders to the bottles of pills and balled up pieces of loose-leaf.

Sasori sighed.

Of course he would make a mess before leaving.

He bent down and began picking everything up.

He couldn't wait for Deidara to get back, just so he could hold him for the rest of the day while they watched the world around them become a winter wonderland.

He couldn't –

Wait.

What was that?

His eyes caught sight of the manila folder with CONFIDENTIAL stamped onto it, its contents spread out.

Confidential?

What could that mean?

Picking up one of the papers from off the floor, he read the words on it, already recognizing what it was for.

The partnership deal between Iwa Stratos and HelioTech.

That's right…Deidara had yet to make a decision.

Wonder when the deadline was due?
Noting the pages were numbered, he began scrambling around on his knees, trying to find the rest of them and put everything back into the bag before Deidara returned and became suspicious as to why Sasori was on the ground, sifting through his stuff.

He picked up another piece of paper, about to put it with the others, when the words on the white page halted his movements.

It was a page…a page with a list of people.

Why was his name on it?

And Tobi's, too?

Why?

What was this list for?

What was it-?

Let-go.

Employees that will be let go once the partnership officially happened.

Panic swarmed inside Sasori's stomach and into his chest, accelerating his heartbeat.

He was…he was going to lose his job?!

After five years of working there, he was going to lose his job?!

He was going to be fired?!

No…no, no, no, no, no!

He couldn't lose his job!

Holy shit…his livelihood was at stake!

It was –

Wait?

Why the hell hadn't he been told about this?

Why the hell hadn't his boss told him?

When were they going to tell him?!

After it was too late?!

Wait…why hadn't Deidara said anything?

He was the one making the ultimate decision!

Why hadn't he told him?!

Why was he lying to him?!

Feeling his heart clench painfully in his chest, he clutched the paper in his hand tightly.

And just like his hair, Sasori began seeing red.

"…You can stop giving me that look now, un," Deidara mumbled, averting Hidan's smirking face. They were in the café where the blonde had had his first encounter with Sasori.

Sasori…

His heart jumped at the thought of him.

"Do you expect anything fucking less from me, Deidara?" the silver-haired male asked, grinning widely. "I mean…we all fucking knew he was in love with you the second he laid his fucking eyes on you. It was bound to fucking happen."

"It was bound to happen that I would turn gay, un?"

"…You say that like it's a fucking bad thing," Hidan remarked, slightly glaring. He turned his head to stare out to the crowded streets. "Your sexual preferences were predestined long before you could even fucking decide which sex you liked. Even before I was 7, I knew something wasn't fucking right with my mind. Girls didn't fucking excite me; I never chased after them like all the other little runts around me. But neither did I hang out with them like the fucking stereotypical gay guy would do. I just…stuck around guys and found comfort in them. And eventually…I came to the conclusion that I was gay. And I accepted it; I had to, despite my dad's disapproval and my mom's worry about what that would mean for me for the rest of my fucking life."

"So what are you saying, un? That I'm not gay?"

"I'm not fucking saying that, but neither am I not saying that," his friend explained, looking at him with his pale red eyes, "I'll explain in the best way that I fucking can. All your life, you've been fucking attracted to females. Dated and slept with them. But suddenly, here comes along this fucking gay, pierced redhead who ends up being your roommate and fucking fell in love with you. In high school, you had gay guys flirting with you all the fucking time and asking you for your number, which you would calmly tell them you were straight but thanked them anyway. But everything fucking changed when you met Sasori. Why? Who honestly fucking knows? I still believe you're attracted to females, but I highly doubt you're fucking attracted to males."

"So why the hell am I in love with Sasori, un?" Deidara asked, getting annoyed. He had told Hidan everything about the previous night, looking for answers to his questions. But he was still getting nowhere and it was slowly beginning to test his tolerance.

Hidan sighed, low in his throat, giving the blonde a serious expression. "Because you fucking fell in love with him for who he was rather than what he was. Him being a male didn't matter to you. He could've been a fucking female and you'd still be fucking in love with him."

"…So what does that make me, un?"

"I don't fucking know, maybe you're fucking pansexual like Kakuzu," Hidan exclaimed, shrugging his shoulders. "He doesn't fucking care whether you're male, female, trans, pan, agender, whatever. If he finds you attractive and likes you…well then, there you fucking go."

"I just…I don't know what to do, un."

"About what? Your feelings? You already know how you fucking feel and you even fucking told Sasori last night," his best friend said. "What are you still confused about?"

"You know the partnership between I.S. and HelioTech, right, un?"

"Yeah, you told me about it. You're the final one to make the decision."

"Yeah, I am, un," Deidara gazed down at his coffee cup. "But I haven't told you everything."

"…"

"If I sign the contract, and the partnership goes through, some people…a lot of people, will lose their jobs, un," he explained. "But the only ones who would be losing their jobs would be employees from HelioTech, since they're the ones joining us and I.S. already has enough computer programmers to go around."

"Okay, that makes sense, but why are you so worried?"

"Sasori works at HelioTech, un."

"…And?"

The blonde sighed, feeling like a one ton weight was being heaved onto his shoulders. "And his name is on the list of those who will be laid off once the partnership is commenced, un."

Hidan blinked at him, eyes wide with shock. "Are you fucking shitting me right now? Why would they lay him off?! Sasori's a fucking genius!"

"That's what I'm saying, un," Deidara remarked. "But he only has five years of experience with HelioTech, while others have been there close to 10 years. I.S. wants experience over youth in this situation, un. Mr. Iwa and Ino have already signed and now they're just waiting for me. The deadline is coming up in about a week and I need to make my decision by then, un. I know what's best for the company; statistics show this partnership will be one of the best investments Iwa Stratos has made in over a decade. But my own personal feelings and morals are coming into play, un. Sasori's had to work hard his entire life for what he has now. If he were to lose his job…he would be devastated, un."

"So what the fuck are you going to do?" Hidan asked, guzzling the rest of his coffee. The shorter male twirled his cup around on the table, not really paying attention to his actions. His mind was reeling with possibilities that could happen, and he wasn't liking any of them. He could sign the contract, I.S. would thrive, but Sasori would lose his job and possibly hate him for the rest of his life. He could not sign the contract, I.S. wouldn't flourish like how everyone wanted it to, Sasori would keep his job, but Deidara would be on very bad terms with the owner and the rest of the corporation, and he would possibly have to go start looking for a new job.

He looked at his friend expectantly. "I think I might have a solution, un."

Deidara headed back to the penthouse with a smile on his face. After leaving Hidan at the café, he had taken a walk to the park just outside the city's outer limits. Once there, he had pulled out his phone and had called the owner of HelioTech.

"Mr. Sato of HelioTech speaking," came the introduction.

"Mr. Sato, it's Deidara Hayashi of Iwa Stratos, un," the blonde had explained, smiling.

"Oh, well hello, Mr. Hayashi! What can I do for you today?"

"I'm calling to discuss the partnership, un," Deidara had sat down on one of the park benches. "As you know, Mr. Iwa and the other CEO have signed the contract. I am the last person to make the decision, un."

"I'm sensing some hesitation in signing, Mr. Hayashi," Mr. Sato had chuckled rather nervously. "May I ask why?"

"When you and Mr. Iwa agreed on the paperwork for the partnership, may I ask how many employees you agreed to lay off on your end, un?"

"Only 10, but why are you asking?"

"If I were to tell you that once the partnership went through, at least 20 of your top employees would be laid-off, how would you feel, un?"

"…I'm sorry…what?!"

A gratifying smile had erupted on the male's face.

Now, the penthouse laid within view and he couldn't wait to tell Sasori the good news. Without realizing it, his pace quickened and he suddenly found himself almost running towards the building. He sprinted inside and over to the elevator, pressing the top button repeatedly as if that would make the doors close faster.

As he ascended, he hopped from one foot to the other and back again.

He was so excited to see Sasori.

Not only to tell him the good news, but to just see him.

To hold him…to tell him repeatedly "I love you."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, revealing the entrance to the penthouse. Grinning like the Cheshire Cat, he traipsed over and threw the door open, not even bothering to take his shoes off as he passed the foyer and into the living room. "Sasori no Danna, I have amazing news that-"

He stopped short when he saw his roommate. The redhead sat on the couch, gazing down at an opened folder, not saying anything.

The folder…a manila folder.

Deidara gulped.

…Shit.

A few seconds passed before Sasori suddenly looked up to give him a near empty gaze. "What is it?"

"I-I...I just wanted…" the blonde stuttered. He couldn't think of the right thing to say, but he immediately regretted what he did say:

"W-Where did you find that, un?"

"Where did I find it?!" the older male suddenly yelled, standing up. "I didn't find it in your fucking bag, if that's what you think! I found it on the floor because your bag spilled all of its shit and I was kind enough to try and pick it up! But when I saw this," he picked up the folder, along with all the papers inside, "I just…just what the fuck Deidara?! What the actual fuck?!"

"D-Danna, I can explain-"

"EXPLAIN WHAT?!" Sasori screamed, rage and anger plain on his face. "Fucking TELL me, Deidara! Explain to me why the FUCK it says here that I'm going to LOSE MY FUCKING JOB!"

"I-"

"Why did you fucking LIE to me?! Why the FUCK would you keep something like this from me?!"

"I didn't want to hurt you, un!"

"Hurt me?!" he looked at him with an incredulous gaze. "I think you did a perfectly good job of doing that by NOT telling me! But I can't believe this! I mean…my fucking JOB! My LIVELIHOOD! I can't afford to stay in this place if I lose it, Deidara!"

"I know that, and-"

"Do you?! Do you really fucking understand?!" the redhead yelled, throwing the folder into the air, the sheets of paper flying off in all different directions. "All these people! All these FUCKING people have either families to feed, monthly payments due, or something else that won't be possible to accomplishment if they lose their jobs!"

"Sasori no Danna, I understand-"

"STOP FUCKING SAYING YOU GODDAMN FUCKING UNDERSTAND, YOU IGNORANT BASTARD!" Sasori yelled, silencing Deidara where he stood.

What…what had he just called him?
(He called you a bastard)

No…no that couldn't be true.

Not after last night.

"Never EVER for the rest of your life EVER preach to me that you fucking understand!" his roommate screamed, anger flashing like mad through his amber gaze. "You will NEVER understand what it's like to work hard for something! Everything that you've ever had has been HANDED to you on a fucking silver platter! I know that for a fucking fact because you're the fucking Co-CEO of Iwa Stratos straight out of fucking Grad School! No way in hell you got that job because you fucking earned it! So do not stand there with a shocked and sympathetic look on your fucking face and tell me that you FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHERE I'M COMING FROM BECAUSE YOU NEVER DID AND YOU NEVER FUCKING WILL!"

Deidara felt something in his chest breaking.

It was causing the rest of his body to become weak.

"…Danna-"

"STOP FUCKING CALLING ME THAT, DAMMIT!" Sasori screeched, grabbing a pillow and chucking it at the blonde, who ducked just in time. "WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME?! WHY WOULD YOU KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM ME?! And DO NOT fucking say it was because you didn't want to hurt me because that's complete and utter bullshit!"

"I wasn't lying-"

"Has everything been a lie?" the older male suddenly asked, stopping the younger male mid-sentence. His demeanor, which had been angry and spiteful, was now suddenly calm and almost passive.

Hurt and heartbreak were apparent in his eyes.

No…no, please don't…

"Was last night just a test?" he continued, tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. "A test to see whether you could mess with my emotions enough? Was the…was the 'I love you' a lie? Did anything we did last night mean anything to you? Or was it all just a sham to make me feel somewhat better about me losing my job?"

Though Deidara wanted to speak, his voice seemed lost in his throat.

His brain kept screaming for him to utter words, syllables, something!

But he just stood there, not a single ounce of noise escaping his lips.

And he hated himself for it.

Because after a few passing, and waiting, seconds, Sasori took a shaky breath, averting his gaze. "Well…I guess that answers those questions. I'll be on my way then."

With that, he headed to the foyer to leave.

(Go after him)

Why was he still standing there like an idiot?

(Go after him!)

Why were his feet not moving?

(GO FUCKING AFTER HIM!)

"SASORI, WAIT, UN!" he screamed, running after the redhead. The entrance door to the apartment was wide open, and he sprinted through to find his roommate heading for the elevator. He reached out and managed to grab the shorter male's shoulder in time. "Sasori I'm sorry I didn't tell you and I'm sorry what I'm saying isn't perfect or right, but please come back inside and we'll work this ou-"

All Deidara saw was a flash of red before he suddenly felt a harsh stinging in his left cheek and he was staring at the wall to his right.

What…what had just happened?

He slowly turned to see Sasori's right hand raised over his left shoulder, a snarl etched across his normally peaceful visage.

He had slapped the younger male clear across the face.

Tears spilled down his cheeks at an unstoppable speed.

And though he was snarling…hurt and pain were the only things showing behind his gaze.

He shook his head slowly. "You are never allowed to touch me again."

"…Sasori…"

"I don't ever want to see you again."

Don't say those words.

Why was he saying those words?!

"…Sasori…"

"I hate you," with that, Sasori turned abruptly on his heel and stepped on into the elevator, letting the door slide shut behind him.

Meanwhile, Deidara just stood there, staring off into space much like how he had done before running after the redhead.

But this time around, his heart clenched painfully in his chest and he found himself crumbling to the ground in a shaking mess, tears staining his cheeks as the weight of the world placed itself on his shoulders yet again.