Chapter 16

Thank God her dad had scheduled her slightly later on Friday- having not gotten in until after four from her date with Nick, she was able to sleep in a bit. Calculus class was over for the week, though Lindsay felt that calculus might be over for her in the figurative sense, too- her teacher could have presented the lessons in Swahili the last few days for all that Lindsay absorbed. It was too close to her work time to start studying now, and as far as she knew, she was supposed to go out with Barry tonight after work. But starting tomorrow morning, and going until Monday, it would be all calculus, all the time. No boys. Nick would be out of town for some of that time anyway- Lindsay was confident that with him on the team, they would do well enough to advance in his basketball tournament. And while she was going to miss him over the next few days, and she was mentally cheering him on- she really needed the time to study.

Sweeping her hair back in her standard A1 work barrettes, Lindsay's attention was drawn to her reflection in the bathroom mirror- she really did have a hickey. Frantically, Lindsay pulled at the clips and shook her hair out- she was definitely going to be wearing it down today. But it wasn't enough- she frantically dug into her makeup bag for some cover-up. She didn't normally wear much makeup, but this called for some extreme action. After several minutes of application, the spot on her neck was now a flesh color instead of a purple one.

Work was okay but tiring- Lindsay hadn't quite recovered from her evening with Nick. Unfortunately, she didn't have much time to daydream about it- the store was just too busy. That was the weird thing, she supposed- by seeing Nick the day before her date with Barry, she was losing the contemplation time that she normally had after being on a date with him. But really, there wasn't all that much to think about- Nick was sweeter than ever, and she had an incredible time with him last night. The decision wasn't going to be any easier after Round #3 than it was after Round #1. The problem was that as the intensity of her dates increased, so did her guilt. But apparently not enough for her to just decide already.

Lindsay finished her closing jobs in a rush to get out of work a little bit early in preparation for Round #4. She wondered what Barry had in store for tonight. Based on how much fun they both had the last time they hung out, she wondered if they would even leave her house.

When Barry knocked on her window at promptly 11 p.m., Lindsay was ready. No ugly pajama bottoms this time, she was dressed fashionably in jeans and a white top. Her makeup had been reapplied, and her hair, still down of course, was styled, falling past her shoulders in gentle waves. Anything to add volume and take the attention off of what Lindsay was desperately trying to cover underneath.

"Hey, Lindsay," Barry said in greeting. He smiled, but perhaps not as widely as he had on the last few dates. Or was she being paranoid?

"Hi, Barry," she replied softly. "So what were you thinking for tonight?" She smiled at him. She had prepared ahead of time and had long since moved Nick's roses to her closet, so she wasn't quite as jittery. Lindsay quickly glanced around her bedroom, and as she did she was reminded of the fantastic night she and Barry had here earlier in the week.

Barry smiled back, but Lindsay could swear that it wasn't as devious as it should have been. "I was thinking we could go roller skating, actually."

"Roller skating?" Lindsay repeated. Despite not being all that coordinated, it sounded like fun. Though Lindsay had to wonder why he seemed so eager to get out of her bedroom. Or maybe last time was an aberration, Barry not wanting to do anything but stay in and kiss her.

"Yeah, you know, another arbitrary non-athletic event," he joked, "though I guess it's not really a competition. Unless they have 'shoot the duck' or something. But then that would be kind of athletic, actually," he reasoned as he wedged the window open further and held out his hand, gesturing for her to join him outside.

Expecting him tonight, Lindsay was ready. She reached out and let him steady her as she shimmied through.

They had fun at the Roller-Way. Being a Friday night in the summertime, it was pretty packed with kids, who were rowdier than Lindsay remembered as they recklessly made circles around her and Barry, skating forwards and backwards and changing direction seemingly in mid-air. Barry held her hand as they made their way, plodding much more slowly, around the rink. Lindsay hadn't roller-skated in years and wasn't very athletic; she kept tripping and each time she did she tightened her death grip on Barry's hand. He didn't seem to mind. He wasn't a very flashy skater and didn't look all that agile, but he was steady on his skates and kept her from going airborne.

When a slow song came on, Barry looked around a little anxiously. Of the couples that were staying out on the floor, one was choosing to skate backward so that they could face their partner while the music played. Since neither Barry nor Lindsay possessed that kind of skill, Barry shrugged his shoulders slightly and led Lindsay to the side of the rink, by the snack bar.

"That's okay. Um, I was kind of hoping we could talk anyway," Barry began.

Lindsay instantly recognized in his voice that he knew she had been up to something. She immediately began to panic on the inside but only nodded her head. "Um, okay," she said in reply. "About what?"

"I know this is going to sound weird, but I wanted to ask you about something," Barry said, rhythmically tapping his rubber roller skate brake on the multicolored carpeting. He looked nervous, avoided her eyes. "Um, so, did you happen to go out last night?" Barry eventually came out and asked her. "I'm only wondering because you know how I said at the end of our last date that I couldn't wait until tonight to see you?...I actually stopped by around 11:30 to see you early- and I could see that you weren't in your room." With that, he looked up, looked straight at her.

As bad as this sounded, Lindsay realized right away that she was so very lucky that Barry hadn't come twenty minutes earlier to see Nick picking her up. She coughed, stalling for time, while she frantically tried to concoct a reasonable story about where she had been. This sucked. She hated lying, she hated feeling like she was being deceptive, and she was really starting to hate this double-life she was leading- but for the life of her she just couldn't decide what to do about it. Looking up into Barry's eyes, as perceptive and intelligent as any she had seen in a long time, she hated herself for what she was about to say. But she just wasn't ready to get caught yet; she couldn't let it end like this.

"Oh, I was- I was- just in the- bathroom," Lindsay stammered, knowing full-well that since the bathroom didn't have a window there was no way that Barry could prove or disprove her. But since he probably stayed at her place longer than two minutes, Lindsay felt the need to add, "I-um, wasn't feeling well." She blushed, which was really mortification at the fact that she was being untruthful to someone who had always been so open with her as opposed to what she was actually about to say. But maybe Barry wouldn't know the difference. "Woman problems," she quickly expanded on her lie. If Barry was anything like her dad, he would change the subject right away.

It was Barry's turn to blush now. "Oh. Okay," he said, turning a deep shade of crimson. "I mean- I'm sorry for even asking. I mean, you can do whatever you want," he emphasized, "I just- never mind, I'm sorry again." He shifted his gaze back to the floor.

Barry's guilt stabbed at Lindsay's conscience like a needle. He had no reason to be sorry- his initial hunch was absolutely right. And Lindsay was too much of a coward to tell him so. So she had to come up with a pathetic lie instead.

"Don't be sorry," she quickly interjected. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I- um, missed you."

Barry looked up at her and gave her a little smile. "I missed you, too." He reached out to touch Lindsay's hair, much in the same way that he did the first time she had seen him this summer, on her front porch. But Lindsay knew that if he moved the hair off of her shoulders, he was close enough to potentially see her hickey and shoddy cover-up job (despite the bad roller-rink lighting). She couldn't let him do it.

So instead, she grabbed his wrist, stopping the motion, before taking his hand in hers.

"Looks like the slow song's about to end," she said, managing a nervous smile. "Ready to get back out there?" But all the while, she knew that by lying to Barry this way, she was taking things too far. He even said that she could do whatever she wanted; she and Barry weren't exclusive. So why couldn't she just tell him the truth?

Sadly, after her little lie, the date seemed to improve a little on Barry's end- he relaxed a bit more, and he didn't bring last night up again- but Lindsay only continued to feel worse. The night came to a close relatively quickly- skating didn't go all that late, but it was too late to do much of anything else. Barry drove Lindsay home, parking the requisite few blocks away from her house so her parents wouldn't be awakened by the engine throttle. The hush that filled the car when Barry shut it off seemed more pronounced than usual.

"Thanks for roller-skating," Lindsay began, breaking the silence after what felt like forever, "it was really fun." Despite her lack of skill, and her now all-consuming guilt, she had a pretty good time. It would have been an amazing night, if she could just get her head on straight and figure out what to do.

Barry leaned in to kiss her good-night, and while it felt really good, Lindsay's uneasiness at the whole evening made her end it much more quickly than she ordinarily would have. She told Barry about her exam and that she wouldn't be able to see him for at least the next few days. This time, Barry didn't reply with how much he was looking forward to seeing her again. She couldn't tell if it was because there was something wrong on his end or if he was just giving her space because she had halted their kiss so early, but either way, it felt lousy.

While getting to bed by 2:30 might have been late by her standards a month ago, after the all-hours dates she'd had in the last two weeks anything before 3 am felt downright early. But it was good thing, because she was scheduled to work fairly early in the morning so that she could get off early enough to study calculus.

The next day at work Lindsay had another reason to be grateful for the extra sleep- it was slammed. Early August meant both late summer fishing trips for dads and back-to-school / fall sport shopping for moms and kids, so A1 was stuffed to the gills with families. Lindsay was running around like a crazy person trying to attend to a family of four boys that all wanted football cleats when she turned to see Kim walking into the store.

Lindsay hadn't spoken to Kim since her mother had started disconnecting their family phone at night. Kim wasn't one for grand gestures like showing up outside Lindsay's window when her parents went to bed; plus, it wasn't uncommon for her to all but disappear off the face of the earth when she and Daniel were in their "on again", hot-and-heavy phases. In fact, when Lindsay looked out, she could see Daniel sitting in his Trans Am in the A1 parking lot. Glancing around for her dad, Lindsay could see that he was preoccupied, assisting several customers at once. Hopefully he wouldn't even notice that Kim was there.

"Hey Brain, I've got a question for you," Kim said as she approached. As Lindsay was holding two pairs of cleats that needed to be exchanged for different sizes, Kim could plainly see that Lindsay didn't have time for beating around the bush. Not that Kim ever did that anyway. "Did you go out with that dorky Schreiber guy last night?"

"Um, why do you ask?" Lindsay tried to ask casually instead of answering. She fought the urge to tell Kim that she had pronounced Barry's last name wrong. That would make it seem like she cared too much. Though honestly, who was she kidding? Kim knew her a lot better than Nick or Barry; as hard as it was for her to lie to anyone it was doubly hard to lie to Kim. Not to mention she was pretty sure that the answer was written all over her face.

Kim snorted. "Okay, Lindsay, whatever you say," she replied with a slight roll in her eyes. "Look, it doesn't matter to me. But Daniel told me that Nick called him. He stopped by here to see you last night before he left town today. Something about him being really psyched about his stupid drum lesson- like he'd never had one before- and wanting to tell you about it. He said you told him you would be working late or something? But when he drove by, it was dark."

In a flash, Lindsay remembered the story that she told Nick about helping her dad do inventory. She gulped. This was bad news. She closed her eyes, trying to center herself. "Did- did he go to my house, Kim?" she asked calmly, though calm was anything but what Lindsay was feeling.

Kim shrugged. "Don't know; he didn't say. But I thought I'd let you know so that you could figure out what you wanted to tell him."

"Miss, could we see those cleats in sizes 6 and 8, please?" the mom of her four customers asked, politely, but tone bordering on impatient.

Lindsay had to get back to work. She nodded brusquely towards Kim. "Thanks for stopping by," she told her. "I gotta go. Hopefully I can see you soon. Thanks again."

And with that, Kim mouthed the words "good luck," before pivoting around on her heel and exiting the store.

Though A1 stayed busier than ever, Lindsay's heart had already sunk. Nick knows I lied to him. The feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach was going to stay there until she saw him again, however long that would be. Tonight? Tomorrow? It would all depend on how his basketball team did and how eager Nick was to confront her.

This was going to be a miserable rest of the weekend. But Lindsay had been playing with fire this summer- she was bound to get burned. And she knew she deserved to.